by W. A. R.
‘This is exactly what we need to do.’
‘Why didn’t we do this before?’
‘Do you think the kids will be alright?’
‘What if there are more Biters like them? What if we come across the people before we leave? What then?’
They were all valid questions and statements, and Amber knew this. They were all scared at the prospect of death, of torture and she couldn’t blame them. Her question was, if there were in fact people watching them, why? They had every opportunity to make a move so why haven’t they? Or, even more so, were there actually people out there watching them? The Biters could have come from miles away. The two male Biters had followed the other group from El Dorado, miles away. She shook her head after closing the door. She wasn’t thinking straight or even making sense anymore. Then again, what did? She was terrified, and something told her that she had damn well better be.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Miles stared at the fireplace to his right, his thoughts nothing more than a muddled mess. It was dark, well into the night, and all five of the children were asleep upstairs. All of the adults however were sitting or standing in the living room, surrounded by uncertainty and palpable tension. He felt torn about everything that was happening. It all seemed surreal, just as it did when the outbreak first began. Can there really be people out there searching for a cure? Using people as experiments? Would they really have to leave their sanctuary to survive or would they fight instead? The vote now seemed split between the two options, Miles wanting them to leave. Well, he didn’t want to leave, he would have rather stayed and fought, but he knew that leaving would be the best option for keeping the women and children safe. That statement, when voiced, had cost him hostile glares from the women in the room, with the exception of Katie. And of course, Bobby-Jean had asked him then if he thought women couldn't help in a time of war; they were just as capable as any man. He was reminded once more where Amber and Cassie got their determination from.
He trailed his eyes across the floor, his stare snaking its way to where Amber stood threateningly. Her feet were clad with boots and her feet spread slightly while her arms were folded across her chest, her ice blue eyes intent on the discussion going on before her. His mind drifted back to earlier in the day, when he had stormed out of the house. He had been so damned angry about the situation at hand that he had left before he had taken that frustration out on anyone else in that room. He hadn’t cared if there were people watching him as he trailed outside. He didn’t care if they had a shot on him and could have easily taken him out. What he did care about, however, were those people in that house. He cared about his family. And as he had slammed the front door behind him, he realized just how different he was from the man that had arrived months before. Images from earlier in the day, from the moment he left the house in his angry fit, began playing like a video playback in his head…
He slammed the door behind him, listening intently to the thundering sound of his heavy boots hitting the wooden porch. He wasn’t sure where he was going…he only knew that he had to leave the house, leave the pleading and uncertain looks on all of their faces. It wasn’t fair, he thought; they were already struggling with the world the way it was and now they had to deal with this shit as well? It simply wasn’t fair.
Before long he had found himself along the fence…
"They were Biters!” Buddy exclaimed as he stood across from Miles addressing both Brian and Amber. Biters…Buddy…
He was along the fence, taking out any creature he came across with his knife. He was grunting and hurrying, taking out any pent up frustrations he could on the miserable Biters before him. He hated them. He wanted them gone; all of them gone. He was in such a hurry and so enthralled in what he was doing that he had not even heard the footsteps that would have alerted him to someone’s approach.
“You are an angry little man, aren’t you?” Buddy’s voices grated on his already tense nerves. Miles stopped for a moment, lowering his head and attempting to calm his temper.
“What do you want?” he asked lowly, threateningly, and instead of intimidating the man, it only served to amuse him. Miles ground his teeth together, clenching his jaw. He didn’t like the man, and it alarmed him how close both the man and Amber had grown since he had hurt her. He was dangerous and Miles didn’t trust him as far as he could throw him.
“Are you mad about the monster?” he had asked before Miles turned to face him, squaring his shoulders. The man was mocking him, his tone of voice baiting and Miles felt himself rising up to it. Miles was angry and why? He was frustrated at his helplessness, and the brutal slap in the face that was reality. Reality was then yet again something from a horror movie and he absolutely hated it. Buddy was irritated and Miles was unsure why. He was sure he was about to find out, however. “You need to talk to the others and…persuade…them to change their minds about staying.” Miles simply stared at him, surprised to say the least. Change their minds? He would help do no such thing. They were his family and he would be damned if he helped some outsider he didn’t trust change their minds, even if he agreed with the man that they should leave. Truth was, he had found himself his own little slice of paradise with people who meant the most to him. Things were good…and he didn’t want to leave…and he hated how he knew that they had to.
“Fuck you.” He told Buddy hatefully before twisting the handle of his knife in his blood covered hand. He felt the need to hurt, to cause damage. Quickly, he turned to the fence once again.
“You are terrified at the fact that they were more than just Biters. They were significant and that terrifies you.” Derek growled at Buddy, who stared back at him with disdain, the swell of his eye and jaw obvious. Miles rubbed absently at his own jaw.
“You’re scared.” Buddy said lowly to him and Miles paused his every movement, feeling his anger mounting. Buddy stepped closer and Miles understood that he was angry and pushing him. Did he want Miles to hurt him? “Admit it. You’re scared.” Miles clenched his teeth, feeling his hands ball into white-knuckled fists. He closed his eyes. Was he scared? He asked himself. The truth slapped him across the face and made him almost stagger from the realization.
“Go away.” He growled under his breath.
“Are you scared that they are going to die? Or are you scared at how they will die?” he prodded, edging closer to Miles.
“I said to go away.” He growled once again. Buddy didn’t answer; instead, he seemed to find some sort of amusement from his aggravation. He was treading on thin ice and Miles felt himself ready to snap.
“Maybe they will die from the monsters…then again…maybe they will become a toy in their little experiments. What scares you more? What are you scared of?” he asked and before Miles could think about what he was doing, he had swung at the man, hitting him square in the jaw.
“Yes someone created them, but that doesn’t mean that they have been watching us.” Amber defended her decision.
After that first initial hit everything was a blur. Miles barreled into him and they both fell heavily to the ground, fists flying. Miles was outraged and had blocked out everything around him other than Buddy beneath him, the man’s face crunching beneath his fists. He didn’t hear Amber and George rushing out, begging them to stop, and he didn’t pay any attention to Brian hurdling their way. The next thing he grasped was Amber and George struggling to push and pull him from Buddy while Brian helped Buddy up. His breathing was heavy but he had stopped fighting, his eyes never leaving Buddy.
“What in the hell just happened?” Amber asked loudly at the two of them. Miles stared at Buddy and Buddy returned the stare. Neither one answered, and Miles understood then that the man was pushing him, wanting to make him angry enough and scared enough that he would help change their minds. The asshole. Buddy quickly jerked from Brian’s grasp and stalked away and Brian, George, and Amber turned to Miles, expecting an answer. Well, he wasn’t about to give them one.
“Nothing happened.
I just need to think.” He told the, turning back to the fence. There was nothing there for him to kill, and he stood there silently, unmoving and ignoring them. He remained like this and after a moment George and Brian left, obliging to his unspoken request. Amber however stood resolutely, concern and curiosity etched into her features.
“He taunted you.” She informed him, trying to spark conversation. He ignored her. He couldn’t deal with it all right then. She licked her lips and glanced at the house before turning back to him. “I heard him. Are…are you alright?” she asked and he wanted nothing more than to fall into her and tell her everything that was warring inside of him then.
“I’m fine.” He told her and she shifted on her feet. He could feel her anxiety.
“I’m scared too.” She told him and he fought the urge to look at her. He wanted to reply, wanted to give her assurance that he didn’t have but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. “Miles,” she began after a moment, “…you can talk to me. I understand…”
“You have no idea.” He bit out without meaning to. He didn’t want to argue with her; no, he wanted her to comfort him but he was too angry and too frustrated for that to happen. He simply needed to be left alone.
“Then tell me…help me understand. What are you scared of?”
What was he scared of? He couldn’t tell her the answer to that. She had enough going on that she really didn’t need to hear what scared him; it would only serve in hurting her, adding on to her torment. He rubbed his palms together and stifled a sigh. They had drug the body of the Biter into the fence to examine it, and they had done so extensively. There were absolutely no surprises, physically…at least for the most part. However, she still looked like she had: as an innocent woman, as if she hadn’t aged or deteriorated. It was nauseating. Afterwards, Miles, Amber, and Damien had drug the body off and discarded it. The entire time they did this not a word was spoken. He felt Amber’s growing distance and he wished he could have stopped it, and he even felt that it was partly his fault for not expressing his weakness when he so readily expected her to express hers. He understood that she wanted to be strong, and she was; far more than she knew, but he knew she couldn’t pull herself away to avoid the emotional downfall that was a possibility; he wouldn’t let her. He refused to allow her to close herself off, and yet he was unsure what to do to stop it.
After a long moment, he realized he was staring at her and she now had her oceanic orbs focused on him in curiosity. He was no longer outside, and no longer angry. No, instead, he was in the living room again; weary of the discussion ongoing before him. He saw the worry that rested there in her eyes, and the fear that etched itself across her face. He wanted to stand and go to her, but he couldn’t; not in the midst of this arguing. It was eating away at everyone, he saw, including himself.
“We can’t be sure that someone is out there. What if there isn’t? We’d be risking our lives for no reason.” Derek stated boldly from across the room. This caught Buddy’s attention, who, by that point, was livid. He cast his eyes to Derek, their depths full of fire.
“How can you know for sure? Are you willing to risk it?” he spat out bitterly. Damien and Shelly both shifted on their feet uneasily. Amber stepped forward to Derek’s defense, determination expressed deeply in her body language.
“If you want to go, then fucking go. No one will be stopping you.” She said and for a moment, Buddy seemed genuinely hurt, but his anger returned quickly and he stepped up to her domineeringly. Miles instantly stood, watching his every move. Buddy glanced in his direction, sensing Miles’s rueful glare, and backed off slightly. He couldn’t help but feel a slight bit of alpha male pride at the slight movement.
“What about the kids, Amber? They can’t fight whoever these people are.” Shelly interjected softly and he saw the shock slap across Amber’s face, her skin flushing as uncertainty rose up within her. The two women shared an unspoken communication, Shelly’s frightened eyes hinting at something that no one else seemed to catch on to.
“I have thought of that. That’s why I suggest the kids, mom, dad, you, Katie, and Rick should go once we have confirmation of their…presence,” she paused, narrowing her eyes at Buddy, effectively causing his jaw to clench in anger. “And anyone else that feels like they should go. If there is no one, then we have no worries and we can stay here. If there is, we fight and you all are kept safe. If we can formulate a good plan of attack, we can take them.” She told them and Brian shifted on his feet. He agreed with everything that Amber had said, Miles knew. They weren’t wrong. They were all somewhat skilled, and they knew the land. They had guns, and Rick had mentioned that he knew exactly where they could get more. Amber was right, they very well could make it.
“If we are fighting, then I am staying here.” Rick declared, easing up to stand on his makeshift crutches and Katie rolled her eyes at him. Though the man was nearly healed for the most part, he was still unstable. Miles had to admit that he had taken the news of everything surprisingly well. Still, he wasn’t going to be able to fight.
“No, you won’t. You would be a liability with your injuries. Besides, you would be needed to protect everyone else that isn’t here.” She said hotly before turning to Amber. Miles’s eyes widened briefly at this, surprised that Katie had actually spoken out and had done so a bit bitingly.
“You can’t make that call for me.” He declared fiercely, catching Katie’s angry stare.
“Tough shit. I am, and everyone here would agree with me.” She expressed with no disagreement from the others in the room. At least Amber and Brian had the decency to spare him an apologetic glance. She then turned, her sudden and intense stare catching Amber off guard. “But as it is, if we decide to fight, I would like to stay too.”
Amber shook her head vigorously. “No. You are too valuable.”
“You don’t think I can do it?” she asked incredulously, and Miles rolled his eyes at her statement. He understood that she wanted to be stronger, but she was acting like a child. Amber looked at her as if she were off of her rocker.
“I never said that. You have saved Rick’s life, you helped Brian and Shelly; Katie, you have helped me. I would much rather keep you safe.”
“Besides, NO ONE is staying. We are LEAVING.” Buddy all but shouted at Amber. She turned very slowly on the balls of her feet. Her eyes were mere slits as they shot daggers at him. There she was; the flaming hellion he knew resided somewhere in the depths of her compassion and kindness.
“I am not risking my children’s lives by leaving unless they are factually and evidently more at risk by staying here. Understood?” she asked him threateningly. He stepped towards her, staring down into her fire like blue eyes.
“So you would rather risk their lives by staying when you know someone is out there?” he asked her hotly, and she placed one hand firmly against his chest, slowly pushing him back from her. He was too close to her and Miles didn’t like it. He felt heat rush across his chest.
“Hey man, back off.” Brian warned him; that warning being the only words he had spoken since they gathered. Buddy didn’t seem to hear him, his focus entirely on the woman before him.
“We don’t know if they even know we exist.” Each word was weighted, each syllable just as cutting with the truth as the last. “Or if the place Damien suggested is sound.”
“What about you, huh?” he asked her, slapping her hand from his chest and stepping forward again. “What if you stay and fight and something happens to you? You think those kids will like that? Think they will be safe enough?” he bit out and Amber’s hands balled into fists at her sides.
“Okay, this is getting out of control.” George cut in, standing from his positon next to Miles. Miles never took his eyes off of the pair before him. He needed to get Amber away from him before things got physical, he knew it. Buddy was pushing for a fight, and trying so hard to have her see his logic. Miles hesitated, waiting for Brian to jump in.
“You misjudge my character, Boudre
aux. I am not going to die on them. I am a hell of a lot stronger than what this world can throw at me. And furthermore, if you think for just a second that the very real possibility of my death hasn’t been a topic of conversation between my children and me, you are sorely mistaken. They know how to take care of themselves if I’m not there. I have never sugarcoated reality for them.”
He sneered at her menacingly, refusing to back down. He was beginning to appear desperate. “YOU are LEAVING with the rest of us.”
“No, I’m not.” She replied calmly, shrugging.
“You are so damn selfish. It is a wonder you have survived this long.” He growled at her. In return Amber seemed unaffected by his words, simply sighing at them, seemingly tired. Miles knew she was, and he began stepping across the room towards the pair. Amber turned on her heel and shook her head.
“That’s enough.” Brian demanded, rising to his feet but just as quickly, Buddy’s hand snapped out, jerking Amber by her wrist to face him. Her eyes were wide as she turned to him and Miles paused his movements, acutely aware of the interaction before him. Buddy loosened his hold on her but he didn’t let her go.
Buddy furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes unspoken pleas. “Why won’t you listen to me? To logic?” he asked her and she looked back up at him sadly.
“Because you are both wrong.” She said simply, her gaze sad and forgiving all at once, finally sliding her wrist from his grasp. Miles felt his blood boil in heated jealousy. “Something isn’t right about all of this. Sure there may be people out there watching us…but something tells me we shouldn’t leave…we shouldn’t risk that, at least not yet.”