I knew I should stop my mind from going there, but as I turned to sit in one of the smaller leather chairs on the outside of his desk, I couldn’t help myself.
He wore a dark grey suit similar to what he wore yesterday. It matched the uniform the other students of the academy wore, and my dress. We were all caught in a gothic nightmare, and I didn’t mean goth. I meant gothic, as in gloomy greys and eerie mysteries.
But the way that suit tugged on his muscles, how the fabric grew taut with each movement of his arms…it was impossible not to picture those arms wrapping around me or throwing me over those shoulders. Maybe pinning me to that desk after haphazardly swiping an arm to knock everything else off it.
Oh, yeah. That would be a sight.
“Then what can I help you with?”
“Please,” I told him, not for the first time, “call me Felice.” Him calling me Miss Fairday made me feel like I was a child, and he was a man. He was—he was a man so far out of my league he was untouchable—but I was no child. I was an adult, so we could talk to each other on somewhat even ground, couldn’t we?
Granted, he was my boss, but still.
I shifted my weight once I sat down, crossing my legs under the dress. Still felt a little ridiculous wearing it, but it wasn’t the most unflattering dress around. I didn’t look too bad in it, so I couldn’t complain too much. I hoped it made me look more mature, so Lucien could see me as more of an equal and less of a child.
I…I didn’t know why I wanted this man to view me as an adult. Perhaps because I found him so ruggedly attractive, because I could fantasize about certain things and not feel bad about doing it…
Ugh. I needed help. Like, psychological help. I should not have any sexual fantasies about my boss—or any of the other students here. Though some of them were around my age, they were obviously not normal when it came to their mental capacities. Payne didn’t even believe there was a difference between right and wrong, so, yeah.
I said nothing else for a while, holding Lucien’s stare and feeling a warmth start to blossom in my lower gut. Just a simple look could make me squirm. That had to be some kind of superpower, because that wasn’t normal. I’d seen many hot guys before, and none had made my thighs clench and my mind go wandering with a mere look.
“I wanted to talk to you about a few things,” I finally said, hoping Lucien didn’t notice the way my body heated up under his gaze. At least my clenching thighs were hidden under the dress’s long skirt.
“About what?”
“I would like to know why there are some places that I’m not allowed to go,” I spoke slowly, hesitantly. I didn’t want to make demands of anyone here, and yet this felt like something important.
“Think of those places as private property. You may live here, you may work here, but you do not own these walls,” Lucien said, leaning back in his chair. His wide chest rose and fell with a single heavy breath. I couldn’t tell if he was annoyed with me for asking or not, but I knew it didn’t matter. Lucien would never see me as more than another child under his care, which was clearly how he viewed everyone else here. “I do. I am a Grimmstead. This is my property. There are simply some places you are not allowed to go.”
I supposed I could understand that. Still, it made me wonder if Lucien was hiding something. From what I understood, those places were also places the others couldn’t go, either. Did he have a basement of horrors? Did he have a collection of skeletons or other body parts he didn’t want anyone to see?
Granted, that was my morbid side talking. It was probably nothing like that. This place being so old, the basement probably got a lot of water from a leaky foundation.
“I do have another question,” I spoke, leaning forward onto my knees, hunching over my back as I recalled the dusty kitchen. “Is there another kitchen, besides the one right off the dining hall?” Didn’t know why it mattered so much; it didn’t. Not really.
“No, just the one.” Lucien’s brown eyebrows came together. “Why?” Such an innocent question, and I stared at him, my mouth agape.
But…how? I knew I wasn’t supposed to enter the kitchen, so me telling him it was dusty would only get me in trouble. I wanted to ask about it, desired to know more, but then something started happening.
The world began to spin around me—literally. My breathing started coming up short, my lungs refusing to fill as deeply as they should. I couldn’t catch my breath, couldn’t stop the world from looking like it was shaking. I closed my eyes, bending forward, moving to weave my fingers through my hair, gripping the sides of my head, trying desperately to stop whatever was happening from continuing.
I vaguely heard Lucien calling my name—my real name this time, not my last name like some high school teacher—but I couldn’t respond. Chills swept over me, goosebumps rising on my arms, and I wanted…
Heck, at this point, I didn’t know what I wanted. I wanted it all to stop.
What I wanted, more than anything, was to just be normal. To have a normal life. To be one of those girls who had no other worries besides what I was wearing or my makeup. Silly things in reality, but for some people, it was their top concern. Me? I feared I was going crazy.
This place was dragging the crazy out of me, bit by bit.
Suddenly, something warm and strong touched me, and I slowly opened my eyes. As the world swayed around me, as I felt like a stranger in my own skin, one thing steadied me: the hand on my upper arm, and the hazel eyes of Lucien.
They were so close. So very close.
He must’ve gotten up from his chair, walked around his desk. I mustn’t have heard him, too lost in this weird vertigo state to pay attention. Lucien held onto my arm, anchoring me to reality, and ever so slowly the world ceased to spin, the goosebumps on my arms warming from his firm hand on my sleeve. I could feel his heat seeping through the fabric, and I wanted more than anything to feel those hands on my bare skin.
“Felice,” Lucien whispered my name worriedly, his brows drawn together, his eyes focused intently on me as he knelt beside me. “Are you alright? What happened?”
“I…” My voice came out shaky. I hardly sounded like myself. I sounded, for lack of a more fitting description, like a scared little girl. Frightened, confused. A blind woman walking unknowingly into a sea of men with eyes on the backs of their heads. I felt near defenseless, and feeling Lucien’s hand on my arm only furthered it. “I don’t know. Everything just…started to spin.”
Frankly, I hated sounding weak, but that’s exactly how I sounded right now. This place was doing things to me.
“You should lay down then, rest,” Lucien advised, his face less than a foot from mine. So close. And his lips…they looked very kissable beneath his short, well-trimmed beard. Would they be as soft as they looked, or would they be as rough as I knew his hands were? “I don’t want you overexerting yourself, especially on your first full day.” The hand on my upper arm loosened, but it did not let go completely.
I nodded along with him. “You’re right.” Passing out on day one was not on my list of things to do. I had to be strong. Had to try to shrug it off.
When Lucien released my arm, he stood beside me, not moving away. A part of me was fine with it. Where that man was concerned, I didn’t need personal boundaries.
I let out a slow breath, getting to my feet. My legs felt steady enough, but the moment I took a step, my knees gave out. I would’ve caught myself on the front of Lucien’s desk, but I didn’t have the chance to.
Mostly because Lucien himself had caught me, as if he’d been waiting for me to fall.
One of his hands gripped my elbow, the other my waist. He’d moved faster than I imagined a man of his size would, but I was sort of glad he’d caught me. I’d rather be in his arms than on his desk.
Holy moly. My mind went to some inappropriate places right then, especially when he steadied me, the fingers on my waist curling around me tightly. With a hand on me like that, I’d never fall.
I stared a
t his Adam’s apple. He kept his beard neatly trimmed on his neck, up to his jaw. Was it too strange of me to claim that was the sexiest Adam’s apple I’d ever seen? It wasn’t that I ran up to handsome men in my free time and judged them according to it, but…every feature on this man was a ridiculous sort of attractive.
“I’m sorry,” I said, feeling faint, but not because of the dizzy spell. “I thought I was okay, but I guess not.”
“I’ll walk with you to your room, make sure you get there without falling again,” Lucien offered, though I didn’t think he’d take no as an answer. It wasn’t a question, but a statement. He wasn’t going to let me go alone. It was a gentleman’s offer.
I had to turn my face away to hide the blush that crept up my cheeks when I thought: I don’t want him to be a gentleman. If there was ever a man I wanted to throw me over his shoulders and ravish me well into the night—maybe even all night, if our stamina didn’t give in—it was Lucien.
Lucien’s hands were sluggish in letting me go, and even then, I felt the hand on my waist move to my lower back as I walked around the chair I’d been sitting in. Slow was my pace. No more falling. Plus, you know, I was kind of obsessing over the hand on my back, because it was his.
The walk to my room was a slow one, and we encountered not a single soul during the walk down the hall and up the grand staircase. We headed into the western part of the building. With each step I felt more secure, and hopefully less likely to make a fool of myself yet again. Lucien was silent during the walk, and I said nothing, too.
I knew if I opened my mouth, I’d probably only say something embarrassing.
Once we arrived to my room, I took a step inside, lingering under the doorframe. I turned around, meeting Lucien’s eyes. Some people, when they claimed to have hazel eyes, didn’t truly have hazel. But his? His were hazel, pure and simple. Their color was a dark green, flecks of golden brown around his pupils, rings of blue sealing the colors in. Beautiful eyes. They made me jealous. Mine were just…meh. Brown eyes were so common. I was always envious of those who had strikingly light eyes.
“Thank you,” I said, speaking softly. “I don’t know what came over me back there—that never happens.” Kind of sounded like I was making excuses, trying to defend myself, but I didn’t know what else to say at this point.
I felt like an idiot.
Lucien nodded once, his eyes never leaving mine. “This place…something about it tends to make people weak.” His mouth pulled into a frown, and, darn it, if I still didn’t find him drop-dead gorgeous even while frowning…
God, I needed help. I needed to get down on my knees and pray.
“You’re not used to it yet, so you need to be careful,” he went on. And then, before he said anything else, he brushed the back of his fingertips lightly across my cheek, stunning me into silence. Such a soft, tender touch, the kind of touch you’d share with a lover and not, you know, an employee. “I don’t want this place to get the better of you, Felice.” The hand fell off my face, and he stepped away, hurrying down the hall before I had the chance to say anything else.
The way these people talked about Grimmstead Academy, it was like this place was alive, a being with a mind of its own, but that was just crazy.
But how he touched me? How he looked at me before turning his head away and leaving?
That wasn’t how a boss acted. That was…well, I didn’t know what that was about.
My heart raced in my chest as I closed the door, locking myself away. The world might’ve spun a little bit, but it was for a whole different reason than it was before. It was because I totally had the hots for Lucien, because I was a girl and he was a guy.
Lucien had said Grimmstead made people weak. Me? I had the feeling it would only make me weak to temptation. Namely: him.
Chapter Seven – Ian
One of my favorite things to do in Grimmstead was to walk and get lost. Sometimes you could discover new places, almost as if the place had grown and expanded when you weren’t looking. Sometimes new rooms popped up and made you gasp, wondering if you’d just moved past it without knowing before.
I didn’t care. This place was my home, and I could never leave it. While it was true I didn’t come from the Grimmstead bloodline, this place was just as tied into my destiny as any place could be.
This place…I owed everything to it.
It was late one night as I strolled through the dark halls, the lighting on the walls dim. Most everyone was in bed by now, usually, leaving me to wander endlessly, never finding what it was I craved.
What did I crave? Pleasure. Pretty things. Everything that was worth living for was what I wanted. The booze, the drugs. I’d tried it all, and I’d continue to sample everything life had to offer until time itself ceased to matter.
After all, those things would never affect me. I was unaffected by even the worst of vices. My soul was what took a beating, but then again, I’d traded my soul long ago.
I just so happened to walk down the stairs and head into the second-floor west wing when I came upon Koda standing in the hall, just outside a door. Her door. Lucien had warned us to stay away from her, especially during the late hours, but it seemed we were both having trouble staying away.
How could Grimmstead dangle Felice in front of me and not expect me to crave her? She could be my next drug of choice, my next obsession. I didn’t think I was like these other monsters. My vices were purely physical; I’d do anything to feel relaxed and content. Pleasure was my weakness, not pain and not murder.
Koda was…a unique fellow. He was always proper, kind and warm, but underneath that warmth laid a coldness that only those trained to see would notice. Sometimes he got a look, sometimes his hair was a bit ruffled…sometimes there were more creases on his shirt with the way his shoulders slunk. That’s when you knew you weren’t looking at Koda, but at Bram.
Yes, the man was downright psychotic, but Koda did a good job at keeping him locked inside.
Koda turned when he saw me coming, practically leaping away from Felice’s door. He instantly looked guilty, and he rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous, awkward gesture I never had the heart to mimic. Plus, I didn’t care, unlike Koda. Koda almost cared too much.
“Ian,” he spoke, meeting me down the hall, away from her closed door. Felice was in there, doing whatever it was she did when she wasn’t with one of us. This past week we’d kept her pretty busy.
My lips curled into a smirk. “Koda. What brings you here so late at night?” I thought about mentioning Bram, but it was never a good idea to mention that one when you were alone with him. Sometimes the man just slipped out—and even though Koda was not the biggest, most muscled man around, it seemed like Bram had a bit of unnatural strength on his side.
I liked pleasure, not pain, so I tried to avoid the latter when possible. Some people might call me a coward, but I liked to think I was simply smart, knowing when to sit back and shut up.
Koda was quick to say, “I wasn’t—” He wasn’t just standing outside her door, he wasn’t going to do anything. He wasn’t going to let Bram take over. Out of all of the things he could’ve said, I assumed it would be one of those three. However, he changed gears when he tilted his head, as if listening to a voice inside. “Bram wants to know what you’re doing here. You shouldn’t be here, either.”
Ah, yes. Koda was the nice one, but Bram was the opposite. It’s why I never wanted to deal with him.
I hoped my smile put Koda at ease. “I was merely taking a midnight stroll through Grimmstead, as I am oft to do.” My voice was fluid, easygoing, and I knew I had him right where I wanted him—I could tell by the way his shoulders relaxed. Me, disarming him without really trying.
Some said I was good with words, but to those people I said: if you think I’m good with words, wait until you can see what else I can do with this body. After all, was life even worth living when you restrained yourself and kept yourself from experiencing the pleasures of the world?
&nb
sp; No, no it wasn’t. That was my view on it, and it would never change.
Koda threw a look over his shoulder at her door, his expression almost unreadable. Perhaps Felice called out to his inner beast, to Bram. Perhaps Bram’s influence on him was steadily growing. Only he could know for sure, because he was the only one inside his head.
Well, not the only one.
“She’s not like any of us,” Koda whispered, sounding almost sad as he turned those emerald eyes back to me. “She doesn’t belong here.”
“Perhaps,” I said, not rushing to agree with him. “She does seem rather innocent, doesn’t she?” I couldn’t help but recall my first encounter with her, catching her alone in Lucien’s office. I’d almost had her, I was sure of it. If we hadn’t been interrupted by Dagen…perhaps little miss innocent wouldn’t be innocent any longer.
Oh, yes. I’d show her true depravity. I’d show her everything she never knew existed in life. I could take her hand and walk her through these halls, spilling its secrets one by one until there were no more secrets left to spill. What would Felice do if she knew the truth? That much remained to be seen, but I hoped I’d be there when her eyes were opened and she realized just how fucked she was here.
And then I’d be there to catch her when she fell, and hopefully we’d be able to get some other fucking done.
“She does,” Koda agreed with me. “It makes her a target.”
I looked at him at that, refusing to tell him I agreed even though I did.
“For you, for me, for Bram and the others. We all know Lucien didn’t send that letter. This place did, and for this place to seek her out individually, well…it means there’s a plan for her. You have to be curious—”
Okay, at that I could easily say, “Honestly, the only thing I’m curious about is how she’ll feel wrapped around my cock.” Her pussy around my cock, and her lips, too. How her hands felt roaming over my skin and the sounds she would make when I was on top of her. The list could go on and on, but I figured Koda didn’t want to hear the specifics beyond what I’d already said.
Grimmstead Academy: A Villainous Introduction Page 7