by Lisa Rayne
Dash deposited Tallie gently on the couch. Naomi sat beside her and slid on the pajamas. The girl mumbled in her sleep, but didn’t wake. Naomi pulled a knitted throw from the back of the couch and draped it over the child.
Dash watched Naomi cover the baby—his baby. “What do you mean you almost lost her?”
Naomi’s hand gently caressed the child’s head. “At ten weeks, I had complications. I nearly miscarried. I ended up in the hospital for several days. I called you from the hospital.” Her hand paused. “Stupid me. I’d hoped …”
She interlaced the fingers of her hands and slid them between her closed legs. It took her a minute before she could continue.
Tears glistening in her eyes, she looked up at him. “I needed you, Dash. I lay in that hospital bed listening to the beep of the machines hooked up to me, waiting for someone to tell me whether my baby would live or die, and I needed you.” Her voice broke. “But you weren’t there, and I had to accept that you would never be there for me again.”
He squatted beside her and reached for her cheek. “Naomi—”
“Don’t.” She jumped up and moved away from him. “It won’t help now.”
She gave her wet cheeks a rough swipe. “I called my mom. She flew up from New Orleans to take care of me. When the doctor released me, he told her I needed to avoid any additional stress or there was a high likelihood I wouldn’t carry the baby to term. She packed me up and took me home with her. I took a leave of absence from work and left town without telling anyone I was pregnant.”
“You left town.” His head bobbed as if he were putting the pieces of some puzzle together in his mind. “That’s why I never saw you pregnant.”
She nodded at him. “You’d only recently come off the publicity about you decking Anderson for harassing your foster sister. I could only imagine what would have happened when the headlines about the baby started.”
She slashed a hand in the air as if reading a marquee. “Dash Janssen Dumps Reporter Mother of His Love Child.” Her hand dropped. “Or worse.” She began to pace. “Just what I wouldn’t have needed.”
Still squatting beside the couch, Dash reached over and softly touched Tallie’s hair. He leaned in and kissed her on the forehead before he stood. Slipping his hands in his pockets, he stared down at the child for several minutes. “Exactly how old is she?”
The pain in his voice made Naomi’s heart lurch, but she wasn’t going to let him make her feel guilty about this. “Twenty-two months.”
The sad timbre of his voice didn’t change. “When’s her birthday?”
“Shortly before Christmas.”
“How long have you been back in town?”
“We moved back about eleven months ago. Mom came with us so I wouldn’t have to put Tallie in daycare right away. Mom has her own apartment so she doesn’t have to deal with our craziness all the time. She keeps Tallie at her place during the day.”
“Tallie has a picture of me. She knows my name and that I play football. Does she know that I’m her father?”
He looked up when he didn’t get a response. “Naomi?”
She shook her head. “No, she doesn’t.”
He turned back to his daughter. “I see.” After a few minutes, he turned and headed for the door.
Naomi took an unconscious step towards him. “Dash?”
She waited for him to say something more, but he strode directly to the door without looking at her.
When he reached for the doorknob, the pain she’d felt the first time he walked away from her returned full force. “Dash, wait.”
He paused, but didn’t turn around.
Tears began to roll down her cheeks. “I’m sorry, Dash. I really am. This isn’t the way I wanted things to work out.”
He looked up at her then. “See you around, Naomi.” He glanced over at Tallie one last time then he was gone.
The door clicked closed. Naomi sank to the floor, trying not to be overwhelmed by the realization that, this time, he hadn’t just rejected her. He’d also rejected their daughter. Her heart hurt. She really was on her own in this. She had her mother for support, but that wouldn’t be the same for Tallie. Like her, her daughter would grow up knowing her father didn’t care enough about her to include her in his life.
Fifteen minutes, Naomi. You’ve got fifteen minutes to feel sorry for yourself. Then you need to suck it up.
She let herself cry softly for those fifteen minutes then she grabbed some tissues and cleaned her face. She walked over to the couch and lifted her daughter. She carried Tallie to her room and placed her in bed.
Adele approached as she stepped from the bedroom. “How did things go?”
“Dash is gone.”
“Gone for a while or gone for good?”
She closed her eyes. See you around, Naomi. “Gone for good.”
“Oh, baby.” Her mother pulled her into a hug. “Are you sure?”
She squeezed her mom tightly. “I’m sure, mom. It’s up to me to take care of Tallie’s future.” Which meant she needed to make sure she kept her job. And she knew just how she was going to do that. She had a story to get to print despite Dash’s disapproval.
Chapter 15
Dash entered the pitch black stillness of his home. He tossed his keys onto the sideboard. They hit the top with a harsh jangle that grated on his already fragile nerves.
In a daze, he wandered down his long hallway, ignoring every light fixture along the way. When he got to the end of the hallway, he turned left into a sitting room he never used. He stopped at the antique hutch he’d purchased for Naomi at Nell Hills. He’d wanted to get rid of it after their split, but he hadn’t been able to give it away when push came to shove.
The piece held a lot of memories of her. He couldn’t stand having it out where he could see it every time he entered the house or passed in the hallway. Unable to look at it, yet unable to part with it, he’d compromised by banishing it to this unused dungeon of sorts.
He stared at the pewter pull of the top left drawer. In slow motion, his hand reached out and took ahold. He wasn’t sure his heart was beating any more. A lethargy enshrouded him. He felt heavy.
The drawer slid open under his power, and he stared inside. Time passed. He wasn’t sure how much time, but the waning dusk had turned blacker. He pulled the dangling chain on the old fashion hood lamp that perched on the edge of the antique. Golden light spilled across the fine oak and slashed across the open drawer like a finger pointing to the five envelopes laying loosely inside the otherwise empty drawer.
He hadn’t been able to bring himself to read Naomi’s correspondence, but like the hutch, he hadn’t been able to simply throw them away. It had seemed fitting they be stored here with her hutch, safely out of his sight where they couldn’t haunt him.
Dash gathered the envelopes. Placing them on the hutch top, he sorted them into chronological order by postmark. The earliest letter was a square, pink envelope that looked like some sort of greeting card. He flipped it over and used his finger to nudge under the flap and break open the envelope across the top. He pulled out a notecard whose front was decorated with a flying stork holding a baby in a diaper. The drawing was bordered in pink. A piece of paper slipped from the card and floated down onto the hutch counter, but he ignored it to read the front of the card: It’s a girl!
He flipped open the card. In Naomi’s elegant cursive were only the words: I thought you’d want to know. ~ Naomi.
The wayward paper finally caught his eye. He picked up the black and white film of a baby in utero and a silent sob slid up his throat. The weight of his sorrow nearly crushed him.
He stared at what was most likely the first picture of his little girl. Glancing at the labeling across the top of the sonogram he read: Twenty-three weeks, Baby Girl Pellier. He slumped over the hutch, catching himself with his right forearm. Small wet circles began to dot the scattered envelopes under his head. His daughter—the one who didn’t know he was her father, whose de
velopment and birth he’d missed—didn’t even bear his last name.
*
The next day after practice, Dash found himself on Adele Pellier’s doorstep. When she opened the door, she didn’t look surprised to see him. If she was curious about how he’d found out her address, she didn’t let on and she didn’t ask.
“Dash, need I guess what brings you here this morning?” She gave him an amused look.
Dash blushed. “Hi, Adele. I’m sorry to drop by unannounced. I was hoping you’d let me see Tallie.”
Her amused look turned serious. “And you thought I’d say no if you called before you came?”
He shrugged. “The thought crossed my mind. I can’t exactly be your favorite person at the moment.”
“True, but I wouldn’t hold that against Tallie. It’s important she gets to know you.” She stepped aside and motioned him in.
Stepping into the spacious apartment, Dash made a quick visual sweep but didn’t see Tallie.
Closing the door behind him, Adele put her hand on his arm. “Dash, I hope you know that neither Naomi nor I would ever keep you from Tallie. You’re welcome to see her any time.”
He ran a hand down his face and nodded once.
“But I will ask you to promise me one thing before I let you see little bit.”
Wariness flickered through him. “What’s that?”
“You must promise me that under no circumstance will you tell Tallie you’re her father.”
His face fell.
“Not yet, Dash. I have to let Naomi make the decision of when and how it’s best to tell Tallie about you. You’ll have to work that out with her. Okay? Don’t put me on the spot by expecting me to get in the middle of that. I can’t let you see Tallie if I think you’re going to say something that may have emotional consequences for her.”
“I’m not here to make trouble, Adele. I just want …” He couldn’t finish.
She smiled softly. “To see your little girl?”
He nodded.
“Do I have your word?”
“Yeah.”
“Dash?”
Adele believed if you didn’t speak the words, it didn’t mean anything. It stemmed from the hurtful relationship she’d weathered with Naomi’s absentee father. Adele had once told them the man had a way of agreeing without actually committing himself, always leaving room to argue that he’d “never said that.”
His lips turned up. “Okay. I promise I won’t say anything to Tallie about who I am until I’ve worked it out with Naomi.”
“Good. I’ll go get Tallie.”
“Is she asleep?”
“No. She’s playing in her room.”
“By herself?”
Adele smiled. “She’s a great kid. She can entertain herself for quite a while.” She turned towards the hallway.
“Adele.” He called after her. When she turned, he said, “I didn’t know. If I’d known, I would have been here for her. For both of them.”
“I know that, Dash. But it’s not me you have to convince.”
Adele disappeared into the back of the hallway. Her voice travelled out to him in a soft murmur as she spoke to the little girl in the back. After a moment, he heard a squeal and the sound of thunderous, little feet pounding up the hallway.
Tallie came flying into the room. When she saw Dash, she grinned. The wide smile made her dimples pop in her cheeks. Dash’s heart seized. He hadn’t noticed those last night. His daughter had his dimples. His dimples, his smile, and his eyes. The miracle of that tumbled over him.
“Talon!” She ran to him and lifted her arms.
He squatted, catching her as she threw herself against him. “Hey, princess. How are you today?”
“I good. You come play with me?”
“Yes, I did. As a matter of fact, I brought you something to play with.”
Tallie clapped her hands. “Yay! Present.”
Dash laughed. “Yeah, present.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small Nerf football.
Tallie giggled, grabbed the football from him, and shouted, “Football!”
The little girl clutched the ball against her chest with one hand and threw her other hand up in front of her. She held her raised arm out straight and began to run around the room as if dodging tacklers.
The laughter that bubbled up from Dash echoed around the room.
Adele came from the back of the apartment at that moment and took in the scene. “Oh, my. You’ve done it now.” She laughed.
“Future running back, I see.” Dash rose and went after the toddler. Scooping up the handful of giggles, he tickled her stomach and placed kisses along her neck. “How about you show me your room, Miss Tallie? How does that sound?”
“Okay.” Her small, high-pitched voice made him smile.
Was it possible to be this happy for no apparent reason? She brought a buoyance to his spirit he hadn’t realized he’d been missing. He placed the child back on the ground.
“Come on, Talon.” She grabbed his hand and tugged.
Tallie showed Dash around her room at her grandmother’s house. He took in the Disney Princess themed bedding, haphazardly made. Dash guessed Tallie had made the bed herself.
An odd mix of sports and truck posters graced the walls mixed in with several more Disney Princesses. Because the colors were similar or complementary, it worked in an odd sort of way. Tallie pulled out several toys to show him, and they played together in her room. After about an hour, Adele called them for lunch.
Dash enjoyed his time with Tallie. They visited and laughed right up to her nap time. After Tallie went down, Dash searched out Adele. She sat in the living room reading.
She pulled off her reading glasses when he came in. “Well, this was certainly the easiest afternoon I’ve had with my granddaughter.”
Dash reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. He handed it to Adele.
“What’s this,” she asked, unfolding the paper as she spoke.
“Something for Tallie.”
Adele read over the certified check made out for an amount in the high six figures. “Dash, this is excessive and unnecessary.” She tried to hand the check back to him.
Dash stepped back. “No, it’s not. She’s my little girl, too. I haven’t been a part of her life or her support up to this point—and I know that’s my fault—but I want that to change.”
“Dash, Tallie hasn’t wanted for anything. Granted, she hasn’t been living like a football heiress.” She chuckled and looked back down at the check. “But Naomi has taken great care of her.”
“I’m not doubting Naomi has been a great mother, but I need to be Tallie’s dad. I don’t know what that’s going to look like over the long haul. Like you said, I need to work that out with Naomi. But, in the meantime, I can certainly start with financial support.”
“This goes way beyond financial support. You have to know that, Dash.”
He grinned, showing her the dimples that had helped her daughter fall for him. “I have more money than I can spend alone in ten lifetimes. If I can’t use some of it to secure my daughter’s future, exactly how do you suggest I use it?”
Her shoulders rose and fell with an internalized sigh. She recognized the signs of stubbornness that had resulted in the rift between him and Naomi in the first place. This was an argument she wouldn’t win.
“Okay, fine. But you need to give this to Naomi.” She offered him back the check.
He shook his head in the negative. “No way. You know she won’t accept it from me. I need you to make sure she puts it in the bank for Tallie.”
Dash moved to squat in front of Adele. He grabbed both her hands and held them together on her knees. “I’m sorry, Adele. I know I blew it. I should have talked to Naomi about what happened. I certainly should have understood that she wouldn’t have tried to contact me so hard for something as mundane as prolonging a relationship with an idiot who didn’t treat her with respect. But I need you to believe
that if I had known about the baby, I would have given Naomi whatever support she needed.”
She pulled a hand free and placed it on top of Dash’s. “I believe that, Dash. You’re as stubborn as she is. I often wondered how you two managed to last as long as you did without a major blowup.” She patted his hand. “Here’s the thing, cher. Parenting requires a commitment that doesn’t allow you to run when things get hard or uncomfortable. I know the kind of childhood you had, and I understand the scars that can leave on a man. But co-parenting between two people who don’t trust each other will be a recipe for disaster for that little girl.” Her head tilted towards the back bedroom. “Somehow, you and Naomi have to find a bridge that puts the past in the past so that Tallie can have the great future I know you want for her.”
Adele leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll take care of the check with Naomi—this time. Everything else?”
He nodded for her to continue.
“You’re going to have to handle yourself.”
He rose. Sliding his hands into his pants pockets, he said, “Fair enough.”
He’d driven Naomi to believe his little girl would be better off without him. He had no intention of letting that opinion linger. As he left Adele’s, he began formulating a game plan for how to fix things with the woman who’d given him a child.
*
Faces scrolled quickly across the computer screen as Naomi searched through the Daily’s story archives. She’d finally figured out from where she knew that face in the crowd at the Ibiza club. Now, she needed to verify that she had the right name to go with the face.
“Well, Hello, Queenie. You’re back from your island excursion.” Ray Jackson cocked a hip onto the edge of her desk.
“Hello, Ray.” She didn’t look up. Her mouse clicked furiously as she continued to search for the photo she wanted.
Ray chuckled. “Hard at work already I see. So I guess you’re no worse off for wear?”
She looked up and grinned. “I’m good, Ray. Thanks.”
“It appears the resort agreed with you. Nice tan.”
Naomi looked down at her arms. Her light brown skin had darkened to a burnished copper. She laughed. “Tough work. All that schlepping around and investigating just steps from the beach.”