“Oli,” she says, sounding thoughtful. “I still want to have sex, but I thought you should know.”
Even though she isn’t slurring her words, I feel like the world’s biggest dick. I can’t sleep with her. She’s drunk, and a virgin. That bump must have cleared my head. What was I thinking just now?
You weren’t thinking.
“Shit,” I snap again as my hands go up to my head. Did I take advantage of her? Maybe she didn’t want any of that to happen, and it did because she was drunk.
“Oli, I’m drunk but what just happened . . . well I wanted it to happen,” she says, looking all sexy and disheveled. I want to believe her for my own selfish reasons, but I can’t. I lift off the floor, ready to get into the bed and just sleep off this night, but I pause mid-step.
“What?” She eyes me with a scrutinizing stare. A second later, it looks like a light goes off in her head, then she says, “You can sleep in the bed. I trust you.”
“Okay.” I turn to my duffle, open it up, and search blindly in the dark for a T-shirt. If I’m sleeping beside her, I should have clothes on.
I flip on the shirt and as I trudge toward the bed, I hear Sloane sigh, but when I take a closer look, I see she’s passed out, breathing slowly, and still very naked.
I get into bed and cover us both with the blanket. The damn heart-shape bed is short, and my feet hang off. I stare out the window, having a clear picture of the moon. It’s full tonight. Is there something about a full moon that makes people feel off? Or is that just werewolves?
I don’t know what got into me tonight. Kissing Sloane at the bar the way I did. Ravishing her body only moments ago like I owned it. Man, what’s wrong with me? I shouldn’t have gone there.
My chest feels tight as I think of that dude back at the bar trying to weasel her number. I felt jealous, protective of her. That’s not fucking me. I don’t get jealous. I share women with my teammates and don’t think twice. I felt almost bewitched by her clear green eyes. Fuck me.
I watch her sleep for a brief moment. The moonlight pours over her perfect face. The way the light hits her exposed nipples that still stand to attention turns my cock half-mast. Now I’m the one who lets out an exasperated breath.
I turn on my side so I’m not facing her and fall asleep, because things are supposed to look brighter in the light of day. Right?
Nine
Sloane
I’m naked.
Alarm shoots through my body as I remember Oli going down on me last night and then . . . OMG! I’m mortified. Why did I open my mouth? I shift under the blanket, thankful I’m covered up to my chin. I’m scared to open my eyes and face him. I squint.
The bed is empty.
Check.
My gaze reaches the bathroom door. The lights are off.
Check.
I turn my head and shift up on the pillow a little. He isn’t here, and neither is Chance. Phew.
He probably took the dog for a walk. I look over to the clock on the bedside table, and it’s already eleven thirty. Shit. I slept in. I get out of bed slowly, since I’m tired and weak. I’m completely naked. Alarm bells ring in my mind but I don’t have time to dissect what happened. I need to get showered and dressed before he returns. If he catches me naked, I’ll feel mortified after his ridiculous reaction to my virginity last night. Surprisingly, I don’t feel nauseous, but I am thirsty. I plug my phone on the charger quickly and dash into the bathroom since I don’t know when Oli will return. I use the glass provided to drink water from the sink. I chug it down and refill it. I play with the shower handle a little, trying to figure out how to get hot water in this place. I swear whoever decorated this inn has a thing for flowers and pink. The toilet and sink are a pink ceramic, and the shower curtain is covered in pink, green, and purple flowers. Blah! If I never see pink again, it will be too soon.
When I see steam rising from behind the curtain, I step in and allow the warm water to scald my achy body. As I run my hands over my breasts to wash them with soap, I realize they feel different today. I’m still a virgin, but I’ve never had such a hot make-out session in my entire life, even though it was more than that. I’ve never had a guy go down on me, and holy shit, I’ve never had that kind of earth-shattering orgasm either. I’m relieved he wasn’t here when I woke, because I can only imagine how awkward things are going to be now. I’m thinking I shouldn’t have told him I was a virgin and just had sex. But I worried he would figure it out somehow and would be pissed. He kept groaning how tight I felt when he was fingering me, and I thought that was a dead giveaway, but maybe it wasn’t. I’m so inexperienced with men I really don’t know what to do.
I’m dying to call Flynn and ask her advice because under normal circumstances, I would’ve called her the second I realized I was alone. Only, this isn’t a normal situation. This is her brother. She won’t want details, and I don’t have anyone else to get advice from.
After washing my hair with the crappy hotel shampoo, I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around me. As I’m walking toward my suitcase, I hear the doorknob rustle, and a moment later, Oli walks in with a tray of coffees and a brown bag in his one hand, Chance on a leash in his other.
I pause the minute my eyes land on him. In a sky-blue V-neck sweater that hugs his chest and reveals his strong arms, and a laid-back pair of jeans, he looks like a GQ model. His quiet smile has me thrown. Is he cool about last night? Do we need to talk about it? I wish I could just disappear. Only wearing a towel around me now makes the situation even more awkward. “Here, Shorty.” He places the tray with two coffees and the brown bag on the dresser, then releases Chance from his leash. The dog seems rejuvenated this morning and back to full puppy mode, wagging his tail. He jumps up on me and wags his tail. I hold onto my towel for dear life.
“You player, Chance. Leave poor Sloane alone. You had Charlie last night.” Oli chuckles and winks. He seems to be in a playful mood until he eyes me up and down in my towel, and I watch those green-golden eyes turn to liquid heat. I take a large gulp and will myself not to be affected, only now I’m in a worse state of affairs because after last night I know how damn good we can be together. He clears his throat, and his eyes meet mine. “Bought you coffee, and there are a few muffins in there. Didn’t know which flavor you liked.”
“Thanks.” I smile as I reach down to open my suitcase. I pull out a clean pair of leggings, since I figure they will be comfortable for the drive, and I match them with a fitted red turtleneck sweater. I pull out a new pair of panties and bra. I realize that I haven’t picked up yesterday’s lingerie that was flung somewhere on the floor. As I’m about to walk off to the washroom to get dressed, Oli says, “I walked to the mechanic. The guy is bringing the tire we need. We should be able to hit the road in an hour.”
I let out a breath. “Good. I haven’t spoken with Flynn but—”
“I spoke to her and Myles. His dad has the surgery today. Flynn is staying with the babies at Myles’s mother’s house. She said to hurry our asses up,” he says with a small smirk, and rubs a rough hand over the stubble on his chin. He seems to be staring at the air when my voice pulls him from his daze.
“Hey.” I smile softly and take hold of his hand. “Flynn is a strong girl, but maybe it isn’t so bad to go back home. You know, to get closure for yourself too.”
I don’t know if I’m saying the words to myself or to him because I need to go back home eventually too. I have to face my own past. It’s the only way I’ll be able to move forward with my own life. I know this because as much as I wanted Oli last night, with a clear head this morning, a part of me is relieved he didn’t go through with it because for some crazy reason I still feel that my virginity belonged to Parker even though it’s so messed up for me to feel that way. What I do know is that I’ve been pining over an unattainable hockey player and that felt safe until last night. It now seems like my sex guru mother’s assessment of my emotional state has been true all along. I’ve been holding on to a past
I can never have.
I’ve been in my head too long to realize Oli’s still holding my hand. He looks down to our joint hands and a hint of a smile plays on his lips. He looks back to me.
“Yeah,” he exhales and nods, staring into my eyes.
“I’m going to get dressed. Then I need to dig into the muffin bag. I’m starved,” I say, and he slowly releases my hand. I turn to the bathroom to get dressed.
A quick glance in the mirror tells me my hair looks like a raggedy mess, so I head back to my suitcase to get my special brush to blow out my hair. I bet those puck bunnies Oli’s used to wake up in the morning with their makeup not smudged, and every strand of hair perfectly in place.
All dressed, I walk over to the dresser, take my coffee, and begin to dig into the brown muffin bag. “What flavors are these?” I ask Oli who is standing around, looking at his cell phone.
“Huh?” He lifts his head. “Oh yeah, there’s a bake shop a little down the way. I had a carrot muesli one in the shop. They’re fucking amazing. I got you chocolate chip, blueberry, and a carrot muesli, because you gotta try it.”
I nod and pull all three muffins out of the bag, then I look up to Oli. “Aren’t you going to have another one?”
He shrugs. “Soon. Maybe.”
Okay then. I break a piece off the chocolate chip because I’m a chocolate girl. The muffin is still a little warm, and the chocolate chips are melted. “Mmm, this is sooo good. Oh my . . . you have to try this.” I rip off a piece, and he walks over to me with an amused grin. I pop a piece of the muffin in his mouth. Things don’t seem tense after last night and the whole virgin debacle, which is a relief. Even though I wonder what he thinks of me now.
“Fuck that’s sweet.” He winks with a sparkle in his eyes and walks back to the opposite side of the room. I return to eating my muffin, wondering if his words have a double meaning. That wink makes me think it did.
“Honestly, this is the best muffin I’ve ever had,” I say, licking the chocolate off my fingers. Oli watches me in silence from a distance.
I take another bite. “Mmm, wow, OMG! Mmm,” I moan as I chew the muffin. My eyes practically roll to the back of my head. Suddenly, I realize he’s full-on laughing at me, but he remains on the other side of the room.
I narrow my eyes on him. “What?” I ask, at a loss. Did I miss something?
He tilts his head to the muffin. “Try the carrot muesli one,” he says without answering me.
“Uh, okay.” I’m not really a carrot muffin kind of gal.
I take a bite of the carrot muesli, only it tastes like a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks. “Mmm, wow! It’s so good.”
Oli bursts out laughing, and my lips turn into a frown.
He stops laughing, and his eyes turn warm as he looks at me. “Shorty, I told you, when you eat it’s like foreplay.” He walks back over to me and his hand cups my jaw willing me to look up to him. His nostrils flare, leaving me wondering what’s going through his mind. It seems to be a naughty thought, and just the idea of his mind traveling there makes my cheeks burn.
“Should we talk about last night?” he asks, looking all thoughtful or maybe concerned.
I’m not sure. My belly flips. He continues to watch me, as if waiting for an answer. Okay, so we are going there.
“Uh, there’s nothing to talk about.” My nerves rattle my insides. I take a few steps away from him and toward the window because it’s too hard to look at him. I practically begged him to fuck me last night, and he didn’t. I get that he was worried that I was too drunk to make a clear decision, but the way he reacted to the news that I was a virgin was a little excessive. The guy literally flipped off the bed and smashed his head twice. He was drunk and I’m sure he hasn’t come across a virgin in a heck of a long time, but he could’ve been a little more understanding about my situation. I’m twenty-seven, for goodness sakes. I’ve waited this long, and last night I was willing to give myself up to him. Yet he went running in the other direction. Well, fuck him. I’m not the type of girl who needs to beg a guy to sleep with her, and I sure as hell don’t need him to feel any sympathy for me, or whatever the hell it is he’s feeling right now.
I feel him moving closer, and he places his hand on my shoulder. “Sloane, please.” He pauses.
I hate that having him in such close proximity sends my pulse soaring.
I shrug out of his grip and take a step to the side. “Honestly, last night was no big deal. Let’s not make it something it wasn’t, okay?” My voice is shaky, and I move a fallen piece of hair off my face.
“No big deal, huh?” he repeats with a defeated and non-believing tone.
“Oli, drop it. We had a little too much to drink. We’re two adults stuck together in a hotel room. That’s it,” I say curtly. I walk over to my cell, which I plugged into the charger before my shower, and check for messages. Anything to prevent me from looking in his eyes right now because I’m scared of what I’ll see: rejection, adoration, sympathy. I shake my head.
I remain focused on my cell. I have three messages from Flynn:
OMG! Can’t believe you guys got stuck
Are you there?
I hope my brother was a gentleman
He was too much of a gentleman, I want to type back. I keep the thought to myself and walk around the room to gather my things. Oli does the same. We barely look at each other as we check out of the inn.
Ten
Oli
Although I’ve been back to Canada over the years, it was always for games, and never to visit my hometown. I haven’t driven on the highway that leads to the home I grew up in for more than a decade. Tension burns through my chest as we reach Richmond Hill. My sister called a little while ago to say she and the twins were at Myles’s mother’s house, which is next door to our old house. Her tone sounded like a mayday.
The rest of the ride has been deafeningly quiet with Sloane and I sharing a few necessary words in relation to Chance and food. I fucked up with her. Not only is my sister going to rip my head off for messing with Sloane, but I feel like shit because she’s the first girl in as long as I can remember who I actually enjoy talking to. I can’t even think of how beautiful she is or how much I still want her naked beneath me. For some reason, knowing she’s a virgin turns me on more, but I don’t know if that makes me a dick. I got a taste of her sweet pussy and I haven’t had enough to satisfy my hunger. Even watching her mope on the car ride has caused dirty thoughts to impale my mind. I need to get a grip, because we have to spend the night together under one roof. Her mood since we left the inn tells me that the car ride and possibly this entire trip aren’t going to go over too smoothly at all. The girl is moping, and I’m not sure why. I was being a fucking gentleman when I rejected her; she has to understand that. I thought it made me the good guy but apparently not, because Little Miss Quirky is definitely sour this morning. Why would she want to gift her virginity to a guy like me anyway? I have a sister who didn’t sleep around. I know about all the emotional attachment stuff good girls need to feel when they have sex. I may not have much experience with that type of girl, but it’s been more of an occupational hazard than anything else because bunny’s don’t require emotional attachment for sex. I’m not a relationship kind of guy. I may sound hypocritical, because more than a year ago, I talked Myles down the proverbial ladder when he was scared to commit to my sister. Myles’s parents had been neglectful, and he was afraid of turning into the type of man his father had been, absent and selfish. His fears had been unfounded. For me, not wanting a relationship has more to do with living life in the moment, coming and going as I please. A relationship would just bog me down. That’s why I can’t act on my attraction to Sloane. I just need my dick to get the fucking memo.
We pull into the driveway next to the home I grew up in. The place my best friend Myles was raised. My eyes lock on my childhood home next door and my face drains of color. I’ve had different maintenance crews keep up the aging needs of the house over
the years, which I know is some weird attachment issue I haven’t dealt with.
The house looks the same. As I take in the brown garage doors and the stone walkway leading up to the front door, I remember being a little boy coming home from school and walking through the door, my mom waiting with her warm blue eyes and caring smile, excited to ask me how my day went. My family shared a lot of good times in that house. Who wants to sell happiness, right?
I try to shake off my nerves as I pull the key from the ignition. It isn’t lost on me that Shorty has her gaze glued to me. Her sage eyes are filled with concern, like she understands what I’m going through and is sympathizing with my situation. The look she gives me makes me want to take her by the hand, lead her to my old house, guide her up to my bedroom, and ask her enough questions to understand why she look like she understands what I’m going through. She clearly hides behind her sassy don’t-give-a-shit personality. I stop myself from acting on impulse, knowing that if I take her to my old room and she bares her soul to me, there won’t be any turning back. I would have to make her mine. I’m not ready for what that would entail. Instead, I release a heavy breath, hoping the air will cleanse some of the tightness sitting on my chest, and step out of the Rover.
Sloane nods and leaves the SUV. I wonder if she reads minds too. She murmurs something about taking Chance for a short walk.
I stand at the door I used to come to as a child to ask Myles to come out to play, and my heart palpitates uncomfortably. I ring the bell and wait. Hopefully, it won’t be Myles’s bitch of a mother who answers, because I would have a few choice words for the woman even if now isn’t the right time. I hear the door unlocking, and Flynn opens the door slightly out of breath. Relief hits me head on. I need to see her, talk to her. She’s the only one who could understand what it feels like to be back here. To have the past you tried to bury rush at you like a freight train that has gone off the tracks.
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