by Leen Elle
"I should never have brought you here," Gail said suddenly, looking towards him with the fire's light flickering upon her dress and face.
"What are you talking about?" questioned Nathaniel.
"You'll only grow worse in the coming days, I'm sure," Gail sighed again, "Just as you always do. And I'm certainly not fit to care for you."
"You're doing fine. And besides, I can take care of myself."
A sparkle returning to her eyes, Gail replied, "I've never heard such a falsity in my life."
Grinning brightly, Gail took a seat upon Nathaniel's lap as though he were her a beloved older brother. One hand she placed on the edge of the wheelchair's armrest and the other held a towel that she began to use to dry the rain from Nathaniel's face. Gingerly, she dotted it along his cheeks, the wet locks of her hair dripping upon his sodden shirt.
Nathaniel watched her silently, barely moving. It was as if she was a wild dove and he was afraid that any sudden movement may scare her away. And when she sat near him so prettily, soaking wet and looking a mess but with eyes that sparkled and laughed, he wished she'd never leave. Although his arms were weak, his heart felt weaker. She'd run away with it, he knew.
Joining the pitter-patter of the rain upon the roof came another sound, the rolling of carriage wheels and the clomping of horses' hooves. Gail turned towards the window expectantly, her cheeks flushed and her hand lingering upon Nathaniel's shoulder. The shadow between their faces had diminished into nothing. Unconsciously, Gail moved her head to the right in search of the carriage and her cheek moved so close to Nathaniel it nearly grazed his lips. His heart was beating out of his chest now and he had a sudden, fierce desire to move forward only slightly, as if by accident, and place a kiss upon that damp cheek.
But before he could consider the thought further, Gail jumped out of his lap and ran to the window, placing her fingers upon the glass.
"It's Emy!" she shouted gleefully, "It's Emy and Brook! They're back!"
Leaving a trail of raindrops behind her, Gail rushed to the door and out on to the porch. The house was a flurry of shouting and laughter and rushing sisters as the last three St. James girls, Mary, Sara, and Nora, scampered in from other rooms of the house and joined Gail. They were followed shortly by Ethan, bounding down the stairs with half his shirt untucked and his cuffs unbuttoned, and Betsy, who scurried forward with her hands clasped together saying "Heavens! You'll break your neck, Ethan, if you don't slow down! But oh, dear me, I hadn't expected them back for another day! Their sheets are still in the washtub and I fear I haven't enough food for supper! Dear me! Dear me!" And after her came John, coming towards the door as quickly as his old, tired legs would carry him.
Hearing their joyful welcoming and cheery voices outside, Nathaniel felt oddly alone and he placed his hands upon the wheels of his wheelchair, anxious to join them. But his strength failed him. Try as he might, he hadn't the muscles to move the chair and he remained motionless. He bit his lip and kicked his legs against the chair but the struggle was futile. As the doctors had suspected it might, the medications rendered his arms so weak it was difficult for him to even move them to the wheels, much less propel the entire wheelchair to move. To feel so weak and helpless when a happy reunion, a reunion he so dearly wished to be a part of, was occurring only a few meters away was a sorrow he couldn't describe.
Listening to their elated shouts and greetings, Nathaniel felt his heart drop and he leaned back in his chair with a sigh, feeling alone once more.
CHAPTER 37
The Holidays
With only two weeks left until Christmas, the Lindsey family and all their guests were busy preparing for the holidays.
The happy couple, Ethan and Mary, carried boughs of evergreen garland and wreaths adorned with large red bows around the house. They were hung upon each door and each window, bits of pine needles scattering behind Ethan and Mary as they headed through the various hallways and rooms. It was a simple job, certainly, but it took them far longer than it ought to of. This can be understood, however, when one observed how often their task was interrupted by giggles and embraces and chaste kisses beneath the mistletoe.
Betsy and Nora stood before the kitchen counter once more, their aprons, faces, and hair covered in flour and sugar. As they baked trays and trays of delicious cookies, the two women gossiped and laughed as if they'd known each other forever. At the moment they were working on a tray of gingerbread men, decorating their faces with creamy white icing.
Laden with boxes of white wax candles, John and Sara passed through the different room and stopped at each window to set a candle on the ledge. As they worked, Sara couldn't help but daydream as she gazed out the windows. She'd never seen anything as lovely as the countryside of Brighton during winter. The skies overhead were a pale, powder blue with swollen white clouds drifting through. And from these clouds the snow came sailing downward, coming down harder and harder as the day wore on. It covered the hills surrounding the house and enveloped them in a blanket of sparkling white powder. The world seemed so pure and lovely in the snow; all of the land's obscurities and mistakes were hidden. The only color seen besides the white snow and blue sky came from the tuffs of evergreen branches not yet masked in the frost. And without any footprints to ruin the picture, it seemed as if no one had ever set foot on the glistening wonderland.
Nathaniel and Gail sat on the sofa beside a bare pine tree, which the family planned to decorate the following night. They were stringing pieces of popcorn onto a string that would be encircled around the tree along with shiny beads and cranberries. While Gail did most of the work, Nathaniel sat beside her leaning against the armrest with his knees bent and covered in a red plaid blanket. Since coming to the Lindsey's, he seemed to be growing better though he was still very weak and every so often he'd start to feel ill again. He often had a fever or a headache or some other pain to plague him, but he'd rarely alert anyone of it. Feeling much too grateful for their generosity, he didn't want to worry the kind Mrs. Lindsey or her husband. Plus, this was the first time in years that he wasn't forced to lie in a sickbed all day and he wanted to make the most of it. Although he did usually head to bed fairly early, most of the day was spent either sitting on a sofa in the parlor or being wheeled around the house by Gail in his wheelchair. And, another strange feeling for Nathaniel, he now only wore his pajamas when he was asleep. Instead he dressed in trousers, ties, sweaters, vests, shiny shoes, and clean shirts. He'd never enjoyed Christmastime in the center of such a joyful and loving family and he planned to make the most of it.
Also in the parlor, Brook and Emy sat on the bench of the piano together playing a duet. Although both of their hands were upon the keys, Brook's long and slender and Emy's soft and clean, only Emy's voice could be heard. It filtered across the room softly, angelically sweet, and carried the melody of a Christmas carol:
"Hark! the herald angels sing,
Glory to the newborn King!
Peace on earth, and mercy mild,
God and sinners reconciled!
Joyful, all ye nations, rise,
Join the triumph of the skies;
With th' angelic hosts proclaim,
Christ is born in Bethlehem!"
As Brook sat beside her and continued to play, his fingers moving effortlessly, he'd glance up every so often to gaze upon her. And poor Emy, though silently pleased his eyes were upon her, could do nothing but blush every time she noticed it. Her voice would falter as her cheeks pinkened, and she'd look back down to the piano embarrassed.
Once she'd finished icing her last cookie, Nora left Betsy and headed into the parlor, sitting beside Gail on the sofa. She'd only just removed her apron, said hello to Nathaniel, and scooped up a handful of popcorn when she glanced towards the piano and felt her eyes widening with delight.
"I knew it! I knew it!" she whispered frantically to Gail, "I can barely believe it, but I just knew it!"
"Knew what?" asked Nathaniel.
"Sorry," s
aid Gail, raising an eyebrow, "Am I missing something?"
"While you were gone, Emy sent back loads of letters," Nora gushed, grinning, "She said how much she loved the festival, how great Norrance was, how many lovely works of art she'd seen, etc., etc. And she also told us about Brook and how glad she was that she'd come with him. Of course, you know, Emy would never reveal anything shocking in her letters, nor anything very romantic. But though Sara was oblivious, I couldn't help but notice the subtle details as Emy wrote of Brook," Nora could barely keep her voice down now, "And I knew it! I just knew it!"
Gail set down the popcorn and string, quite shocked with this news, "Do you mean you think . . ."
Nora bounced up and down, her hands clasped, "I think she's falling for him."
Nathaniel leaned over now and questioned wearily, "Falling . . . in love?"
The song ended and the music suddenly stopped. As Emy's voice trailed off, Brook leaned over and began to flip through the pages of the songbook for another tune to play. While he decided, Nora and Gail sat completely silent on the couch, barely breathing.
Nathaniel shook his head, taking the bowl of popcorn from Gail's lap and beginning to string it again. He couldn't help but sigh and whisper, "Girls . . ." at the sight of Nora and Gail getting so jumpy and childish, as if Emy would hear what they were saying from all the way across the room. Feeling quite joyfully cruel in a room of hushed women, he suddenly bellowed out, "So who'd you say's in love? My, my, it wouldn't happen to be . . ."
"Ethan and Mary!" Gail shouted, slapping Nathaniel's arm in alarm.
"Of course, of course," Nora continued, gulping, "What can you expect of the two lovebirds?"
Nathaniel grinned wickedly, feeling quite happy with himself, while Gail shot him an angry, wide-eyed glare. Nora could only glance back and forth between the sofa and the piano and mouth to Nathaniel, "I can't believe you!"
As Brook settled on a song and set the songbook back up, he placed his hands upon the keys and began to play while Emy, sitting with her hands placed demurely in her lap, began to sing again in her soft, sweet voice:
"O come, all ye faithful,
Joyful and triumphant,
Come ye, O come ye, to Bethlehem.
Come and behold Him, born the King of Angels;
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord."
Once she was quite sure Brook and Emy were distracted in the song, Nora lowered her voice even further than before and whispered, "I think she really has fallen for him. And he for her, as well."
"Do you think?"
"I'm nearly certain they must be courting," Nora nodded, "I mean, just look at them."
The trio on the sofa all looked up towards the piano for a moment, on the tip of their seats, and watched as Brook looked to Emy, a wistful smile crossing his face. Almost instantaneously, Emy's cheeks turned hot and pink as she turned her head to look out the window at the drifting snow. Her feet were swinging quickly black and forth beneath the stool and she wrung her hands in the skirt of her dress.
Nora was grinning, feeling her suspicion had been confirmed, Gail cocked her head to the side, completely bewildered at the sight of it all, and Nathaniel, obviously not finding the whole thing as darling or romantic as the girls, burst out laughing.
*****
As the afternoon continued and the different pairings finished their various tasks, they began to join outside in their warmest coats, thickest scarves, and most snug mittens. Nearly a foot of snow had accumulated in Brighton by this time, but now it came down softly, fluttering about lightly upon the countryside.
Brook and Emy were building a snowman near the steps of the porch. As Brook finished up the final ball of snow and set it upon top of the two others, his hat fell off and the dark hair hidden beneath was covered in tiny white snowflakes. Emy rushed forward to help him retrieve it and, once he'd thanked her, together they placed on two sticks for arms, a pair of charcoal blocks for eyes, and a carrot for a nose.
Watching them from a distance, Sara and Nora were trying to construct their own snowman but they spent so much time eavesdropping and spying on Brook and Emy that they'd only just finished rolling the first ball of the snowman's body. Now that she'd begun to feel quite certain in her assumption of Brook and Emy's courtship, Nora couldn't help but reveal it to all her unknowing sisters. But just as they were beginning to roll the second ball, a snowball sailed from across the yard and hit Sara in the back of the head.
With a dropped jaw, she turned around to see Ethan running away with a laugh and, not surprisingly, she quickly decided to jump up herself and chase after him. As she ran, she lowered her hands down to pack some snow into a ball. And once it was large enough and firm enough, she threw it straight towards Ethan and hit him right in the face.
The pair froze for a moment as Ethan halted in his place and wiped the snow from his eyes. His cheeks were frozen, a pale pink, and there were still tiny white snowflakes clinging to his eyelashes and brows. Although for a moment he almost seemed angry, his frown fleetingly turned up into an evil smile and he shouted, "Oh you'll be sorry for that one, Sara St. James!"
And so the snowball fight began. It started with just the two of them, chasing each other across the clean snow and attempting to throw snowballs in the other's face. But then they silently decided that they shouldn't be the only ones enjoying themselves. As Sara went for Nora, running after the yelping girl with her arms full of snowballs, Ethan headed for the unsuspecting Brook and shoved a large handful of ice-cold snow down the back of his coat. The poor man jumped straight into the air with a shout of pure surprise. Pitifully, he tried to lift his coat off his back again and did a little jig in an effort to get the snow to fall off his bare back. And Emy, with the sudden impulse to defend him, kneeled down to pack her own snowball and aimed it straight at Ethan but missed and hit Mary instead.
After that, the Lindsey's front law was a full on war as snowballs flew threw the air, soldiers crouched behind the defenseless snowmen, and victims crashed to the ground with chilled faces and frozen fingers.
The men were ruthless, Brook on a desperate mission to get revenge on his cousin and attempting to stick a snowball down his trousers while Ethan stole Brook's hat from behind. Sara was just as brutal, not thinking a moment before throwing snowballs straight into her sisters' faces. Nora attempted to do just as well, but her aim was always off, and poor Emy didn't quite know what to do. She didn't want to be mean and hurt her sisters with icy snowballs, but she had to defend herself as well. And Mary, as should be expected, was darting away from everyone as quickly as she could, screaming at the top of her lungs and saying they all ought to be ashamed for ruining her hair.
Nathaniel and Gail, meanwhile, were watching from the front porch. Nathaniel sat in his wheelchair, bundled up in his warmest and covered in a large, flannel quilt. Gail was beside him in an old rocking chair, the itchy wool of her coat scratching her neck. Although they were enjoying a pleasant conversation and found quite a bit of amusement watching their friends play around in the snow, Nathaniel was feeling perfectly miserable.
As much as Gail tried to put on a smile and be content sitting with him, he knew that she hated it. He knew she wanted desperately, earnestly, as the young, lively girl she was, to jump out of her seat and join the snowball fight with as much enthusiasm as the rest of them. But because Nathaniel was her guest and she didn't want to be rude, she sat beside him and tried her best not to let it show. But it did. No matter how much she tried to conceal it, Nathaniel knew. At first he felt bad for it, knowing it was his fault she weren't allowed to join in, and he said, quite simply, "You can go, if you want. You don't have to sit here with me, you know. I'm not forcing you." But Gail wouldn't go. She refused to be thought of as improper and uncivil by her sisters and she knew Nathaniel would simply sit in boredom if she left him. Unfortunately, this left Nathaniel just as desolate a
s if she had left. He felt guilty for robbing her of the pleasures of winter but was also angry at her for not following his suggestion and leaving him alone. He'd rather be discontent alone than with her. With her, he had to constantly fight back the urge to scream at her. It wasn't easy for him, I assure you.
And so they sat, both undeniably upset despite the lovely winter day.
*****