by Naomi West
“We’re very fortunate,” the young blonde agreed.
There were more nods and murmurs of agreement from the others, and then the man left. But his absence didn’t make Vera feel any better. Instead, the edges of her vision began to blacken and blur, and she slumped back in the uncomfortable chair. The women’s voices played like a distant soundtrack as the energy slipped out of her body.
“Look! She’s so excited she can’t stand it!”
“She’s positively swooning!”
“I don’t blame her. I did the same thing when I found out I was getting married!”
“And to him of all people! She’s so lucky! I would marry him all over again if I had the chance!”
Hands grabbed at her, the voices that belonged to them talking of flowers and fabric as they pulled her out of the chair.
Vera’s eyes snapped open. She was no longer in that big living room with the women who were determined to make her into something she wasn’t. The man was many miles distant, if he was real at all. She knew that much had to be true. Still, she clutched at the sheets with her fists, her chest heaving as she tried to convince herself that she was safe. Somehow, the room around her—which she knew now to be in Lorenna’s house—only felt like a temporary haven. The older woman had insisted that she was safe here, but how long would that last? What exactly did she need to be kept safe from? What if her nightmares became a reality?
Taking a deep breath and forcing her mind to concentrate on concrete facts instead of surreal nightmares, Vera slowly sat up on the edge of the bed. The hard floor was cold underneath her toes, which helped jolt her out of the terrifying world of her dreams. Her head was fuzzy from so little sleep, having constantly been awoken by nightmares or the threat of them, tossing and turning but never finding a position that would keep the visions at bay. She had lost track of how many times she had woken up during the night, but she knew it had been enough to make for a difficult day. She slowly balanced her weight on her feet, the first rays of morning sunlight pushing their way in around the thin curtains and reminding her that a new day was beginning.
But just as she was about to push herself out of bed and busy herself with cooking and chores, her stomach flipped over on itself. Vera tried to brush it off, chalking it up to residual nerves from her nightmares. The things she had seen and felt would make anybody nauseous. But it soon became clear that the feeling wasn’t going to go away anytime soon. Her stomach pushed in on itself, squeezing tighter and tighter, clamoring against her spine and bouncing against her ribs, forcing Vera to shoot up off the bed and across the hall to the bathroom.
Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes as her body rejected what little she had in it. She clutched at the cold porcelain, wishing for some sort of comfort. She didn’t want to be sick, and she wanted desperately to be able to sleep, but none of that was working out so far. Her body was as unsettled as her mind.
A cold washcloth bumped against the back of her hand. Vera opened her eyes to see long fingers holding it there. She took the cloth, pressing it against her eyes and mouth, wiping away the remnants of what had just happened. Those same fingers gathered up Vera’s hair, cool against her neck as they twisted it into two short braids to keep it out of the way.
“Thank you,” Vera whispered, feeling far too sorry for herself. “I’m so sorry if I woke you.”
“Not at all, dear. You know I’m an early riser. Why don’t you come with me to the kitchen?” Lorenna’s voice was as soothing as her hands were.
“I don’t think I can handle breakfast.” Vera had been enjoying her normal fare of fried eggs and fruit in the mornings, sitting quietly across the table from Lorenna and enjoying the peace of their remote location. But her stomach turned at the thought that morning.
“That’s fine. But some crackers and a little water will do you some good. Come on.” Lorenna gently pulled Vera to her feet, pulling her over to lean on her shoulder as they padded down the hallway to the kitchen. Lorenna made sure Vera was safely seated at the table before she went to the cabinets. “How long have you been feeling bad?”
“Just a little bit here and there.” Vera hadn’t thought about it much, chalking up her unsettled stomach to the fact that she was sleeping in a strange place, eating different food, and still getting used to her unusual situation. “I’ll be better once I get started on my chores.”
Lorenna’s lips were tight as she set a glass of ice water on the table in front of Vera. “And how are the nightmares?”
Vera kept her focus on the battered wood of the kitchen table. She had told Lorenna about several of the dreams, caught in a vulnerable moment in the middle of the night. It had been comforting at the time, but in the light of day it only embarrassed her. Only little kids went running to adults about their nightmares. But Lorenna had asked Vera to be honest with her, and considering everything that the older woman was doing for her, it was only fair.
“They’ve gotten worse,” she admitted. “They’re so real that I don’t even know I’m dreaming. I can feel things and see things that have never been so clear in dreams before. In the most recent one, right before I woke up, I could even smell it. And there was a girl there that I knew. I can’t tell you what her name was or exactly how I knew her, but I had this distinct feeling that she was my friend.” Vera’s stomach swirled again at the thought. She had wondered if these were visions from her past, even though she tried to dismiss those ideas as soon as they came to her. If they were, though, was there a friend out there looking for her?
Fortunately for her stomach, Lorenna set a plate of crackers in front of her and sat down at the other side of the table. “And do they always have the same theme? With these women in brown dresses who are trying to convince you of something?” She had made a plate of fruit and cottage cheese for herself, and she ate slowly while she kept a sharp eye on Vera.
“Yes.” Vera nibbled on a cracker. Even the tiny bite was a great relief to her stomach, and she quickly went for another one.
“Not too fast, now. You don’t want to make yourself nauseous all over again. Now, I know we’ve talked about this a little bit, but do you have any ideas what these dreams might mean? Do you think they might be memories from your past?”
Vera hesitated to give voice to those thoughts. There was always a chance that her mind had outfitted the women in those ugly brown dresses simply because she’d found one like it in her suitcase, but she had no way of really knowing which was the cause and which was the effect. “I don’t know. I hope not.”
Lorenna took a bite of pineapple and chewed it thoughtfully. “You know, there was a time in my life when I went through something very similar to what you’re going through right now.”
“Really?” Somehow, that instantly made Vera feel a little bit better. She had wondered if she was going crazy with all these wild nightmares, and now she was physically sick on top of it. “What happened? I mean, if you don’t mind my asking.”
“I don’t mind,” Lorenna said with a shake of her head. “It was very simple, really. I was pregnant.”
The words rattled around in Vera’s mind, breaking free all sorts of possibilities. Alarm bells clanged in the back of her mind, and the little bit of food she had been eating suddenly turned to dust in her mouth. She swallowed a bite of cracker, barely able to get it down. “I don’t … I don’t know about that.”
Lorenna shrugged as though the matter was of no consequence. “Vivid nightmares, nausea in the morning … It could be nothing. But I think it might be worth checking into.”
Dizziness spun around in Vera’s head, and she put both of her hands on the table. “I don’t even like entertaining that thought.”
“I understand,” Lorenna said quickly. “You’re not in the ideal position to have a child right now, but that’s usually how it goes. Tell me, is there a possibility that you could be pregnant?”
Vera knew exactly what she was asking. Her mind instantly transported her back to that hotel room i
n town and what she and Rascal had done. Twice. Never had she thought about protection or consequences. That had all seemed so far distant from what she had been going through at that moment, and Vera had enjoyed being in the big biker’s arms enough that it was the only thing that mattered. She had needed him as much as she needed air. Vera cleared her throat. “I suppose so.”
“All right. I’ll run to town and get you a test. Then we can go from there.” Lorenna tucked into her breakfast, a task before her.
“Maybe I should go. You’ve already done a lot for me, and I hate to be a burden.”
“No.” The older woman’s response was a solid one that invited no arguments. “You should stay here and take care of your chores. I don’t mind going.”
It seemed to take forever for Lorenna to get back, and no amount of sweeping or weeding could keep Vera’s mind off the possibilities. A baby? How could she have a child and bring a new life into this world when she didn’t even remember her own? And what would Rascal say about it? She had to sit down every few minutes to let the dizziness pass before she was ready to get up and attack her chores once again.
She allowed herself a fantasy of how Rascal would react when she told him, taking Vera into his arms and kissing her repeatedly as he told her how happy he was. He would buy a little house for the two of them to share with a big backyard where they could raise their child in peace and happiness, Vera content to know that Rascal would protect her no matter what.
But she did know enough to realize that wasn’t real life for anybody. A baby wouldn’t be without its complications, not the least of which being that she didn’t have a job or any way to support potential offspring. When the morning paper arrived with a thunk against the front door, Vera retrieved it with the thought of checking the classifieds for open positions. But as soon as she picked it up, she noticed a headline on the front page: More Revealed in Cult Case. Sitting alongside other stories of political disarray and murder, it was more than Vera could handle. She tossed the paper on the kitchen counter and left it there for Lorenna. The want ads would have to wait.
Lorenna came home an hour later, a bag from the pharmacy around her wrist. Vera watched nervously as she dug around in the bag and produced a small box. “Have you ever done one of these before?”
Vera held out her hand to accept the package, curling her fingers tightly around it to stop them from shaking. “I don’t know.”
“I’m sorry. Of course you wouldn’t. It’s pretty simple, and the directions are inside, but let me know if you need anything. I’ll be right out here.”
It was hard enough to know what she might be facing, but having someone sitting in the kitchen and waiting on the results made it even worse. Vera headed for the bathroom and followed the directions to the letter, setting the plastic stick on the chipped edge of the old porcelain bathtub to wait. The little slip of paper had said it would take at least two minutes for the results to show, and Vera tried to occupy herself by studying the delicate little flowers on the shower curtain or staring blankly at the air bubbles in a bottle of bath gel, but it wasn’t good enough. She got down on her knees and stared at the test, watching as a pink line developed in the first window. That meant she had done things correctly. Vera could just see the advancement of liquid as it was drawn through the white paper-like substance inside the test. It slowly turned pink in the shape of a plus sign.
Vera didn’t know if she should laugh or cry, but she instantly wanted to do both. Her limbs were weak as she pulled herself to her feet and stumbled down the hall.
Lorenna was waiting for her, turning with expectant eyes the moment she appeared in the doorway. “Well?”
She opened her mouth, but no words would come out. Vera clamped her lips together and simply nodded.
Just as she seemed to take everything as a matter of fact, Lorenna didn’t show any major reaction. She went to the bag on the table that she had brought back from the pharmacy and produced a bottle of pills. “I picked these up just in case. They’re prenatal vitamins, and you’ll need to take them every day to make sure you and the baby have plenty of nutrients to keep you safe and healthy during the pregnancy. We already eat well around here, with all the organic vegetables from the garden, but you’ll also need to make sure you get plenty of protein.”
Vera sat down heavily in a kitchen chair, feeling the weight of it all on her shoulders. “I don’t know what to do with a baby,” she whispered.
The older woman rubbed her shoulder affectionately. “That’s how all new mothers feel. I promise. But you’ll figure it out naturally, and I’ll be here to help you.”
“You’d be willing to let me stay here that long?” Vera didn’t know how far along she was, but her stomach was still flat. The idea of pregnancy stretched out before her like an eternity, and yet she knew she would never be ready once the baby decided to come into the world.
“If that’s what it takes,” Lorenna promised. “It’s not like I’m just going to kick you out onto the street. We do need to spend a little time planning, though, and I think it’s time we talk about just how all of this happened.”
Vera understood what she was asking. It might not really have been any of Lorenna’s business who the father was, but she was currently providing everything that Vera and the baby needed. “Rascal.”
“I see,” Lorenna replied after a moment.
“I should tell him.” Vera’s stomach jumped at the thought of seeing him again. There had been no trace of him since he’d ridden off on his motorcycle after leaving her here in Lorenna’s care. Secretly, she’d held hopes during that first week that he would come by to visit her. She had convinced herself that he was busy, but two weeks into her stay she couldn’t deny it anymore. Rascal didn’t want to have anything to do with her. Those fantasies she’d had of the two of them living together—and especially the ones about raising a baby together—were completely foolish. Rascal wasn’t the kind of guy who settled down with a woman and a child. But he still deserved to know.
“I’m sure I can find him for you,” Lorenna promised. “Why don’t you lie down and rest while you get used to this idea? We can talk some more later.”
Chapter Ten
Rascal
Rascal’s conversation with Lorenna at the flea market haunted him. If Vera really had been part of that cult, then there was no telling just what she had been through. Those people were crazy, and they didn’t care who they hurt as long as they got their way. The idea of a cult was something that normally seemed so distant and out of the normal range of life that he had never given it much thought before.
He started with reviewing all the footage he could find about the raid by the feds. It was easy enough to pull up numerous videos on the Internet. Many of them were simply reporters standing outside the compound and describing the horrors that had gone on inside. These were of interest to Rascal, but they weren’t exactly what he was looking for. There were clips that served as guided tours of the facility after it had been cleared out. They showed the rudimentary living conditions and the strange layout of houses that accommodated several wives. His chest tightened at the thought. Many men fantasized about having multiple women, but this wasn’t the way to do it.
Finally, he found the footage he was looking for, of the remote location as it was being invaded by government officials. Just as he had thought he would find, there were women in long brown dresses scattering in all directions while men in similarly plain clothes took up their guns to keep the feds out. Rascal paused the videos repeatedly, studying the female figures and waiting to find a familiar face. He expected to see Vera at any moment, maybe looking a little bit different from the way he knew her but still with those wide, innocent eyes and full lips.
An hour later, with very few results to show for his efforts, Rascal closed his laptop and headed downstairs to the common area of the clubhouse. Tat was sitting on the couch, several sheets of paper scattered around him on the cushions and the coffee table. He was draw
ing fervently, seemingly absorbed in his work, but he looked up the instant Racal came into the room. “There you are. I haven’t seen you around for a little bit.”
Rascal really didn’t want to go into the details, but it was starting to eat away at him. He strolled over and picked up one of Tat’s drawings, studying the lines without really seeing them. “I’ve been busy trying to help someone.”
“Yeah? Looking for a new recruit?” Tat’s hand moved easily as he worked, seeming to function on its own.
“Not exactly. I don’t think there’s officially been a female Dark Vulture yet.”
The other man stopped what he was doing, looking up at Rascal and raising an eyebrow. “Oh? So a new club girl? That could be exciting!” He rubbed his inked hands together eagerly.
Rascal wanted to slap him for that comment. “Last I checked, it’s not in my job description to find you a new piece of ass. You’re on your own there.”
“Okay, okay! Then quit making me guess and tell me what’s going on.”
Sighing, Rascal moved several papers to clear a spot for himself on the couch. “All right. I came across a girl who was in trouble and needed some help. I did what I could for her, but I’m starting to think that maybe she’s in an even worse position than I originally thought.”