by Aeryn Jaden
“Don’t cry…I’m sorry…my fault…I didn’t knew how to cope. “
I took another hitched breath and I watched him, mesmerized by his stormy eyes.
“I wanted to hurt him. I wanted…”
“I know.”
And suddenly I understood and something melted in my chest.
“You moron. You left because you thought you’ll scare me if you stayed.”
He seemed to struggle with something and then gave up. His voice was clearer and determined; he still held my face immobile and brushed gently my unnoticed tears with his scarred thumbs.
“Yes and no. Yes, I didn’t want to scare you but I was also scared myself. You scare the living crap out of me, Tyler Lucas. No, don’t pull away. You scare me because I care so much and so fast. I met you when? Last week? On Monday we had a pseudo-date, yes I considered that a date, what have I told you on Tuesday? Then today, another failed attempt at a date. Hardly enough for something to be there, growing between us. Don’t flinch. Please.
I didn’t want to hear this. I knew. Too soon. And I was too inexperienced. He’ll probably explain that I was getting emotional over nothing with him. But…
“I’m scared because I spent my weekend fantasizing about you. Scared because when I convinced myself on Monday that I was making to big a deal out of this- he gestured from him to me- I found you in your lab all rumpled and endearing with your clumsiness and shyness and you proved to be all that I remembered. More than. I’m scared because I care too much and too soon. And I’m wondering how much will I care after we have that elusive date I keep trying to have with you. “
What?
“You look like you just got hit by a truck. A truck with my name on it, I suspect.”
His smirk roused me from my stupor and I hit his arm. Hard enough to make my hand numb and for him to look at me amused while I tried to shake some blood back in my abused palm.
“Very funny. I…(after swallowing a couple of times I gave up trying to find the right words and just let my mouth run wild). I expected you to tell me I was being too emotional and you’ve had it. I know I’m inexperienced, but even if I know that... God, Bain, I actually trusted you with it. My biggest secret, my shame. I never do that. I… I think I feel it too. This, it’s like a strange connection or something. I trust you Bain. I hardly ever do. I can count on the fingers of a hand the people I trust, you know? Yeah, I guess you figured that out on your own, huh? But, Bain… I’m not scared of you. Never was. And you know what?”
Okay, this was a bit hard to get out there. My face flushed and his eyes sparkled as if he had some idea of what I was thinking and feeling. I guess he did. I found that I could brave through my shyness when he had that expression on his face, patiently waiting for me to finish and say what I needed to say.
“I feel protected around you and I’m not scared of this. I’m excited, I’m …vibrating. Funny, hahaha, you can laugh…”
“I’m not.”
“…but I actually woke up at seven -seven!- this morning, thinking of you and wanting to see you. I’m not scared of this, I’m enjoying it. You. Or us. Whatever. You can stop me anytime you want, please do!”
“Take a break then.”
He had the best ideas on how to shut me up. His mouth made for a really good mouth closer. He bit my lower lip to get my attention then eased the sting with a slow lick. His eyes were open, focused on me, burning me from inside out, searching my face for something.
We traded slow sloppy kisses for a more brutal clash and I lost my breath in favor of keeping us close and our lips touching, licking and tasting each other. The lower half of my body arched against him and be both moaned when our denim covered dicks saluted each other.
“Stop, Tyler, stop.”
I may have made a keening sound of disappointment before I got a hold of myself. My first impulse was to bury my head in his warm neck. The second was an instinctual taste of his skin with my still tingling tongue. He groaned and pushed his hardness against mine.
“You’re making it hard for me to…”
“Seems like it.”
My smirk pulled a strangled laugh from him.
“Tyler, we have to stop. Please.”
O-kay. That was new.
“Jesus don’t freeze like that on me. Literally on me. I just think it’s too soon to take it any further and if we don’t stop now I assure you in like five minute I’ll have you sprawled on that carpet with your legs wrapped around your ears and my dick buried in your virgin hole so deep you’ll taste me in your mouth.”
“Fuck.”
“My point exactly.”
My flush was a full body one. Fuck, I wanted that. I was shocked at the crudity of his words but more than that I was turned on by the image he described. Him, hard and big above me like some wild barbarian, with that fire in his eyes and pistoning in and out of my ass in brutal thrusts. Hell, yes, I wanted it. However, I was a bit afraid when I thought about the mechanics of such an action. His bulge seemed on the large side and I knew for a fact my hole was on the smaller to way too small side. No way in hell this seemed even remotely anatomically possible.
“And now you’re starting to see what I’m talking about.”
Shit, if I blushed any harder I’ll get dizzy from the redistribution of blood.
“Am I that easy to figure out or are you a mind reader?”
“Your eyes mirror all your thoughts. I can almost see the words passing through them. No poker for you, I’m afraid.”
Huh, he’s in for a surprise then. I took a note of the info on the list of things to absolutely remember. I’m actually a shark when it comes to cards and or any other gambling games.
“I think I should reconsider the last if I am to judge from that look.”
I turned innocent eyes on him and he almost threw off his chest with his rumbling laugher. It felt good to feel all hot and bothered but at the same time content to just stay there in his arms without the need to do anything else, just enjoy his laugh.
“I like this.”
He calmed down and gently squeezed me (or my butt, since that’s where his hands resided).
“I like it too.”
I bet you do. I smirked. I rubbed my face on his warm chest and like a cat I almost started to purr.
“Maybe well get to that date soon, huh?”
“I thought you said the lunch-brunch-dinner yesterday was our first date.”
“Only if both parties know about it. You, my sweet, were clueless.”
I grimaced, knowing that I’ll eat dirt from Sean for a long time if he got a hold of this. He always said I was a lost cause. That reminded me.
“About Sean…”
“Nobody knows you’re brothers, huh? I can understand that.”
“Soo…”
“My lips are sealed.”
I risked a quick kiss and felt his lips bloom in a gentle smile under mine.
“Now they are.”
“I like the way you seal things.”
I was blushing again but it got a little easier to tell him what I felt. Well, I still derailed the topic pretty fast but I was making progress. Baby steps. Bain seemed willing to wait for me.
“Me too. Actually is not about him being a student at the university but about the media and all that attention.”
Bain’s confused expression clued me in that he had no idea what I was talking about.
“Sean Carter? Son of multi-billionaire Richard Carter and well-known socialite Marjorie? Ring any bells? He also had an exposition not too long ago. Painter Sean Carter?”
“Oh. Yeah. He’s..?”
“The one and only.”
“You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?”
Huh.
“Is this the appropriate time to tell you that Chancellor Perkins is my Uncle Edward?”
He was speechless for a total of ten seconds before he started to laugh like a loon making me bounce as if I was the proverbial quarter on his
abs. Oh, yeah, I could get used to this.
And that was what finally made me realize why he was scared of me. He was proving to be quite scary too.
.
What the hell was I thinking? I wasn’t, that’s what!
Suffice to say that morning came bringing my wits back to me. I must have been crazy or stoned on painkillers last night. Sh-hit…
Well, I’m not the kind of person to cry over spilled milk. I did, I survived, I’ll deal with it. But, really, what possessed me to spill my guts to a man I knew for what? Twenty-four hours? (The cafeteria doesn’t count, and I’m sticking to that.)
Movement from beside me made me freeze and acknowledge the weight on my waist, pinning me down on the mattress.
O – kay. Forgotten about that.
“Morning.”
Huh. Should I start panicking now or continue with the one from before?
“Your brain is too loud. You can take a break.”
As I said before, Bain has the best ideas on how to make me shut up or completely stop my brain.
I saw a flash of sleep softened features, rumpled expression, sexy five o’clock shadow and rebellious dark ink hair before soft lips banished all thought processes from my mind. And I’m not that good at thinking in the morning anyway, so it’s a miracle I didn’t melt in a pile of goo.
Scratch that. I was already a pile of goo.
“Let’s try it again without the cold feet. Good morning, Tyler.”
“Um…morning?”
He smiled and stole another quick kiss that continued on my jaw before tickling my neck. He made growly sounds and I couldn’t help it anymore. I relaxed completely and started laughing at him and his antics. It was good to have him there when I woke up. See his smile first thing in the morning. Scary good, but more good that scary. I told my sanity to take a hike and cuddled in his warm embrace.
“Good morning, Bain. Slept well?”
“Never better.”
Okay, I had to register that voice on the lethal weapons list.
He sensed my shiver and started munching on my neck skin, making me release a breathless laugh.
“You okay now?”
I don’t know why was I still surprised that he read me so well. He was showing an uncanny ability at gauging my moods.
“Yeah, I was just panicking a little.”
“I know. You know I’ll never do anything to hurt you intentionally?”
I knew. What about the unintentional? Shit, what was I thinking?! Nobody could ask for more that he so willingly offered me without a trace of uncertainty. That was my inner coward speaking. I had taken a chance with Bain last night and it had paid out. He hadn’t run away (well he had, but for the right reasons), he had stayed and been my support pillar. Yes, I could soo get used to this. Did I regret it? Maybe. I was now vulnerable and felt like I was naked in front of him (though I still had my pajamas on me, thank you very much).
“You’re taking quite a while at that answer.”
His voice was slightly hurt and unsure. Strangely, that did it for me. Reassured me more that a thousand platitudes or promises. He was vulnerable too. I did that to him too, we were in this together.
“Bain. I know. I’m just…huh. Analyzing and trying to compartment all of this as I did all my life with everything. And finding that I can’t. It’s a bit scary, you know?”
“I know, baby, I know. You took a big step with me, don’t you think I forgot.”
He had an almost reverent tone as if he was impressed and maybe even humbled.
If I could purr, I would have. I was finding out that one touch from those big, strong hands could melt my brain and throw me into sensory overload. He was now caressing my back and slowly playing with my hair before returning to massage the back of my neck. I snuggled closer to his body, until I was completely surrounded by him. His smell, his taste that lingered on my lips, and let’s not forget about those wicked hands…
”Let me…?”
Whatever he wanted as long as he didn’t stop doing that. He was slowly caressing my back with one hand while the other started wandering down, fingered the edge of my pants before slipping underneath and cupping one of my ass cheeks. We both moaned and he pulled my lower body closer to his. I was so hard I could have pounded nails with little me. Instead my hips started to pound on him on their own.
His dick was also very much standing to attention and my own hands started wandering uncertain. Did I dare..?
“Touch me.”
Yes, I did dare. His hand stayed in place on my butt and started massaging me, pulling me closer to him. I gathered my courage and slowly let my hand slip on his chest following his happy trail to the band of the boxers he wore. The other one found its place on the back of his head and I pulled his mouth closer to my neck, encouraging the kisses and teasing bites he bestowed upon my sensitive skin. I was trembling but unaware of it. My hand finally slipped beneath the material and encountered hot silky steel. He stilled, I froze.
His hand deserted my back and joined the other in cupping my ass and bringing me tightly against his erection. My own hand was still curled around his member and I was unsure of what I was supposed to do. Bain took care of that when he started rocking gently in my fist, rubbing against me and using my hand to get off.
“Jesus, that’s hot!”
I hid my face in his neck when he started laughing. He realized my discomfort and stopped moving abruptly. His kisses continued on neck trailing up toward my mouth, each punctuating one of his words.
“I wasn’t…laughing…at you. It. Is. Hot. You. Are. Hot.”
He stopped and lifted his head to meet my shy eyes.
“And if you don’t start moving soon I’m gonna go crazy.”
Well if I was embarrassed better make it worthwhile.
“I… don’t know what to do.”
I could see he was fighting a smile but I was too busy fighting a moan when one of those hands left my ass and encircled my dick. I jumped and almost lost it.
“Do what feels good.”
His leg pinned me in front of him on the matters and my skin heated when he pulled once up, then down on my dick with a firm hold.
“Do what you usually do... show me what you like. Come on baby…”
I could do that. If I remembered to breathe, that is. Bain pulled on my dick again and then swirled his finger on the head making me jump. My hand clenched on his dick instinctively and he moaned in my neck. I moved tentatively up and tried the finger thing on him. His dick jumped in my hand and the head swelled bigger. Somebody liked that. I wonder if…
“Pull my pants down.”
Bain hesitated then did what I requested while I freed his own erection from the constrictive boxers. I took hold of his hip and aggressively pulled him flush against me. My face was still hidden and I didn’t have the courage to look and see what I was doing. I yearned to see him, see that big hot weight in my hand, but I was still too shy and unsure to risk meeting his eyes.
His dick pulsed and I could feel him shiver as our erections bumped against each other.
“Jesus, baby! So silky…hot!”
His hands started wandering again. Caressing, teasing. Everywhere he touched me, my skin caught fire. My blood was boiling and I could hear only our labored breaths and the pounding of my heart. My nipples became his focus when I let a strangled scream at his teasing pinch. He laughed darkly and I knew I won’t last long. Our hips were pumping into each other, bringing sweet pressure on our engorged penises. Pre-cum slicked the way, every now and then balls slapped one another bringing blinding flashes of incandescent pleasure and spikes of hot shivers down our spines. The rhythm was erratic- fast and hard with slow and gentle, mixed with groans and sloppy wet kisses. Intoxicating.
My hands kept clutching his back, his hips. I almost swallowed my tongue when I felt his hard callused hand circling me again in a tight fist, flush against his own member as he started stroking us together. I may have screamed. Babbled, f
or sure. This felt like nothing else I had experienced and I was dizzy with the incredible pleasure. It wouldn’t last long. It was too good and soon I found myself tensing as familiar shivers traveled up and down my spine. I didn’t want it to end, it felt mind-blowing to be doing this with someone, to fell his touch on my skin burning me alive.
“Let it go. I want to see you come for me, on me. So hot, so perfect. Next time I‘ll taste you, take you in my mouth and suck you dry. Would you like that, baby? My mouth, wet and tight around your dick while you let go and just shove in- again and again. I sure would.”
Fuck! His voice whispering in my ear, the harsher bite on my neck, those naughty images playing in my head- all did it for me and I felt myself convulsing in his hand, coming all over him exactly as he wanted. He let a low curse under his breath and continued to frantically tug on our dicks, until I let a couple more hot jets on his stone clenched abs. A sudden groan and then another load of wet heath spread between us.
The top off my head must have blown off. My body, released from the tension, melted in the mattress and his chest collapsed on mine, while he weakly tried to sustain the rest of his weight on his elbows. I didn’t care. I savored the weight and his labored breaths on the damp hair of my neck. We stayed quiet, calming our heartbeats and for my part, being astonished and a little lightheaded.
I can’t explain what I felt just staying there, surrounded by him and slowly breathing through his caresses. It wasn’t even remotely sexual now, sensual maybe, but it was…it was …safe?
I have never felt like that before and I had the suspicion that I never would with anyone else except…
“My grizzly teddy- bear.”
“Huh…”
His lips were undecided. Did he want to frown or laugh at me?
“I’m not sure if I could call that a compliment.”
Ugh.
“Where’s the super-glue? I’m gonna glue my mouth shut now.”
We were both laughing weakly, still exhausted when the door crashed open in the wall.
“What the hell?!”
Bain rolled me and we stumbled from the bed in a tangle of limbs.
A residual instinctive maneuver seemed like. I couldn’t breathe too well with his concrete body pressing down on me.