“She doesn’t want you! She’s hiding; she’s scared of you! Leave now, and I won’t call the police.”
I stop in my tracks, spinning on the spot slowly. Stupid cunt. “You think I’ll believe anythin’ you have to say right now? I know you stole her phone and sent those messages to yourself, you pathetic son of a bitch! She don’t want you! And if you’ve harmed one hair on her head, I’ll do more than just kill you, and that’s a promise.”
With that, I walk away from him. Wrench has already kicked the door down and rushed inside with Ace and Hawk. They couldn’t have found Marley yet; they would’ve been out by now.
There’s no need for guns here, but I draw mine anyway, you never know who might be hiding. There’s no one downstairs, both Ace and I have searched every room, and this place isn’t all that big.
“Find anythin’?” Hawk shakes his head. He’s on his way down the stairs, looking defeated. “She has to be here. There has to be someplace we ain’t looked.”
“Maybe she just ain’t here, brother.”
“She has to be, Ace!”
“Roman! I found her!” Wrench’s voice pierces the air, and I’m following that damn voice faster than my fucking legs can carry me.
“Where the fuck are you, Wrench?!”
“In here! Last room on the right, end of the hall.”
I race in there; my brother’s hot on my tail. Wrench is on a small bed, hand under Marley’s head, lifting it slightly, the other checking her pulse. I’m practically gasping for air. My baby is gray, eyes closed, blood, and bruises on her face and neck. She’s in nothing but a t-shirt and panties, and she looks dead. I’m not ashamed to say my heart is fucking breaking. I did this. This is all my fault.
However, I can’t just fucking stand here, Marley needs me.
I clamber onto the bed beside Wrench. “Is she alive?” I’m almost too scared to ask.
“Yeah, she’s alive, just can’t get her to wake up. Cunt must’ve given her somethin’. We need to get her to the hospital.”
“I’ll take her.” She’s already in my arms. She’s completely out of it, and there’s no waking her. I turn to Ace. “Find out what the cunt gave her, then take him to the warehouse. Son of a bitch is gonna learn just why you don’t mess with Roman!”
* * *
They took Marley from me the moment I arrived here at the hospital. I couldn’t tell them what Marcus had given her to keep her in a sedated state; the motherfucker wouldn’t talk. Ace called me to let me know the bastard had laughed but said nothing.
A doctor told me they’d figure it out, that I was to wait here in this room until someone came to talk to me. I’m still fucking waiting an hour later. My aunt is here, so is my mother, BlackJack called them. They’re talking about some bullshit or other. I’m not even listening. All I can think about it how badly I’ve treated the one woman I can’t live without.
All this time, I’ve been punishing Marley for something she hasn’t done, and all because I couldn’t swallow my stubborn pride. Marley swore to me that she loved me, hadn’t cheated on me, and look what I did. I put her in my eldest daughter’s mother’s category. That beautiful woman who stole my heart the second I laid eyes on her.
She wasn’t taking Romany from me, she wasn’t leaving me, Marley chose me, and I should have believed her when she told me nothing happened. I should have trusted my heart and not my head. However, it’s easy for me to say that now.
What must Marley think of me?
I wouldn’t blame her if she told me that she wanted nothing more to do with me. I wouldn’t even blame her if she did take Romany from me. It would be nothing more than I deserved. I know Marley wouldn’t move away, I know I’d get to see my little girl, but I’d lose my family. Marley is my family.
This fucking hurts, and I’m not ashamed to say it.
She went to that motherfucker to try and get him to tell the truth because she was truthful. Marley wanted me to know the truth, that’s how much her family meant to her. God knows she’s got no one but me. Why the fuck didn’t, I have enough faith in her to know she wouldn’t lie to me?
I’ll never forgive myself for what I’ve done. Never. Moreover, if Marley never forgives me and takes Romany, I won’t try to stop her. Marley deserves to be happy with or without me.
I’ve told the cops what I know. I haven’t told them where the good Doctor is, however. I’m going to end him. He doesn’t deserve prison. Cops said they’d need to talk to me again, and the guys who were with me. I’ve already filled them in on what I’ve told the cops. Not that I believe for one second, the police give a shit about Marcus Nickson’s whereabouts. They’re under Vidal’s control, one word from Draven and they’ll fake some bullshit about how Marcus killed himself. Ain’t going to have a body to give his family by the time I’m done with him, but I give zero fucks about that.
Maybe it’d be better if they fake a car crash and tell his family his body is too charred for them to identify.
“Here, son.” I take the coffee from BlackJack’s hand without looking at him. “Try not to think the worst, Roman.”
“You saw the state she was in. She wasn’t even wearin’ her own clothes. What am I supposed to think, Jack?”
The thought of doctor dickhead touching Marley, his unwanted hands all over her body, her begging him to stop, it’s fucking destroying me inside. I can’t bear the thought of Marley wondering if I’d come and save her from him. After everything she’s already been through at the hands of monsters, the ex she thought loved her, turned on her in the worst way.
That son of a bitch beat the shit out of her, injected her with something to keep her asleep. God, Marley must have been so frightened. I can’t even imagine what must have been going through her head, wondering if he was going to kill her or keep her his prisoner for God only knows how long.
“You have to be strong for her, Roman. Marley has been through too fuckin’ much in her short life.”
“I should’ve believed her, Jack. I should’ve listened when Marley told me that she’d never do that to me. I let her down so badly. I kept her daughter from her, told her that I hated her, that I’d kill her if she came near me again.”
“Yet she still tried to prove her innocence. That girl loves you. Any fool can see that. She’ll put behind her what you did, and she’ll move on from all of this. However, Marley needs you, Roman. She needs you to show her that you’ll never doubt her again, that you’ll never leave her alone.”
“Mr. Walker?”
I’m out of my seat so fast that if it hadn’t been drilled to the floor, it would have smashed against it. “How is she? Is Marley okay?”
The young Doctor in front of me, short, pretty boy in his own way, smiles slightly. “Would you like to take a seat?”
“No, I fuckin’ wouldn’t. Tell me how my wife is!”
“Roman!”
I ignore my mother. This isn’t the time for her to be offended by my behavior. I don’t give a damn whom I offend right now!
“Okay,” He smiles, awkwardly. “Well, within herself, Marley is fine. She has a few superficial bruises that will heal in a few days. There’s no sign of sexual assult.” My eyes close on me in relief, and the audible sighs from everyone in the room were not lost on me. “It took us a while to bring Marley out of sedation, she’s drifting in and out of sleep at the moment, and we can’t get much sense out of her. However, she’ll be just fine in a few hours. I understand Marley gave birth a short while ago?”
“Five and a half months, why?”
“When we examined Marley for signs of sexual assault,” My stomach flips. This fucker has looked at my girl in ways he shouldn’t have! “We found her to be pregnant.”
I think I’ve been looking at him for five solid minutes. I spaced out when he said that Marley is pregnant. Jesus Christ on the cross! The baby is mine. I know that without a doubt, Marley never slept with that douche bag, she’s been mine from the moment I saw her at that cabin. However, R
omany isn’t even Six months old yet. God, how could I have been so stupid?
My mom, aunt, and uncle are congratulating me, but I haven’t answered them. I need to see Marley. I need to know she’s okay for myself. I need to know if she wants this baby.
“Does Marley know?” I finally ask.
“We did try to explain it to her, but I don’t think Marley could quite grasp what we were saying. She just kept asking for you.”
I nod at him. “Take me to my wife.”
“Of course.”
Whatever happens, when I walk in that room, I will never doubt Marley again. Moreover, if she chooses to leave me, I will still be there for her in any way I can. She deserves happiness. Fuck, she’s been through enough. I’m going to make all her dreams come true, a friend or husband, I will.
Chapter Thirty-One
Marley
I awoke to Roman, staring at me from his chair beside my bed. That was about ten minutes ago, he nor I have said anything, we’re just starting. I wouldn’t even know how or where to start. I know how stupid I’ve been, I know I should never have gone to Marcus’ house, but I never for one second thought he would attack me the way he did.
I can see in Roman’s eyes how dumb he thinks I am. He doesn’t understand why I would go over there and see Marcus. I hope he doesn’t think I went there to try and get back with Marcus because that is so far from the truth it’s unreal.
I went over there because I missed my daughter, and I wanted Marcus to tell Roman the truth, I wanted to be able to hold my little girl! I wanted the man that I love more than life itself to believe me that I hadn’t cheated on him. That is something I would never do. I just wanted my family back, and I thought that appealing to Marcus’ nicer side – not that he has one anymore – would make him realize that he needed to come clean.
I thought he would understand how much I needed to be with Romany. I thought he’d tell me how sorry he was, that he didn’t mean to ruin things for me and that he only did it through a moment of madness because he still loved me so much.
However, that didn’t happen, did it?
No.
Marcus attacked me, drugged me, and kept me prisoner in his house. I still don’t know how far he would have taken things if Roman hadn’t figured out where I was and come to save me.
I don’t want to think about it. I know Marcus didn’t rape me; the doctor told me so. However, I can’t help thinking that he would have. He wanted to take me out of the country, and I still don’t know how he would have done that with me sedated the way I was.
I can hash this out ’til the cows come home, but it won’t change anything. I will lock it away with the rest of the hell I’ve lived through in my life. I’ll talk to my therapist about it one day, but not yet.
How could Marcus have done this to me?
What did he think would come of it?
Stop thinking about it, Marley, you need to make the man who stole your heart understand how sorry you are for everything that’s happened over the past week.
I don’t want to lose Roman. It doesn’t matter the things he said to me to hurt me, because I know he didn’t mean them, he was angry. He thought I was leaving him for someone else and taking the little girl he would literally die for with me. I don’t blame Roman for saying the things he said, but I am hurt that he punished me by keeping Romany from me. I just want to hold her in my arms and never let her go.
However, in all honesty, I don’t know if we can just go back to the way we were before Roman hurt me the way he did. Keeping Romany from me was the cruelest thing anyone has ever done to me, and that includes all the torture I have endured over the years. Every bad thing that ever happened to me couldn’t compare to the past, couldn’t compare to not being with Romany.
I think Roman and I need some time apart. I need to be with Romany. I don’t want to lose Roman completely, but we can’t be together right now. The truth is, I don’t know when we will be. I need to explain all of this to Roman in a way he’ll understand. I want to forgive him, but I’m not ready.
It isn’t me who breaks the silence between us; it’s Roman. He takes my hand in his and kisses the back of it tenderly. Then he looks at me again. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so fuckin’ sorry.”
“It’s okay.” I squeeze his hand. “I’m sorry, too. I just wanted him to tell the truth.”
“I know,” Roman tucks my hair behind my ear. God, I can’t even imagine what I look like. Marcus really messed up my face when he hit me the way he did. “I didn’t make good on my promise, and that’s on me.”
“Roman,” I don’t even know what to say to him. He thinks this is his fault, that he didn’t protect me the way he promised to. However, that’s not true. He couldn’t have predicted this. Marcus has never been a violent man, not really, and even I didn’t see this coming. I don’t want Roman torturing himself over this. “This wasn’t your fault. It was no one’s fault.”
“I should have believed you when you told me that he was lying. I should never have cut you out of Romany’s life the way I did, the way I was scared you would me...”
“Stop this, Roman. There’s a lot of should have, could have, would have’s. I won’t lie to you, Roman, you hurt me when you cut me out of Romany’s life as though I was nobody to her.”
Roman hangs his head for a moment, and I’m fighting the urge to cry. I need to be strong so that I can make him understand what he did was wrong.
“I never believed you could do something so cruel to me. You begged me never to hurt you like that, and you turned around and did exactly that to me.”
“I know.” Roman mumbles.
I stroke my thumb over the back of his hand. I love Roman, and I will always love him, but I wonder if he really loves me the way he said he did. “Roman, I can forgive you everything that happened. All the horrible things you said and did to me. However, what I don’t know if I can move on from just yet...”
“Romany.” He cuts me off with a sigh.
It may seem to him that we’re going around in circles, but he needs to know how devastating to me what he did was. “Yes, Romany. You took her from me, Roman. My milk was drying up, and I had to express milk each day because I was so scared I’d never, be able to feed her again. You could have taken that special bonding experience from the two of us.” Being away from Romany has been so hard. My boobs ached so badly that I had to use Elie’s breast pump to express the stored up milk. I’m hoping I can still feed Romany after this.
“I’m so sorry, Marley.”
“You hurt me, Roman.” I blink the tears out of my eyes, and they fall down my cheeks. The look on Roman’s face hurts so much, but I can’t let him think he can hurt me like this and things will just go back to the way they were.
“Will you ever forgive me?”
I swallow back the lump in my throat. Every part of me is screaming to tell him that everything is okay, that we can go home and pretend none of this ever happened.
However, I won’t. I can’t. I need to be strong and make Roman see that I won’t stand for him doing these things to me. He believed another man over me, and he wouldn’t even give me five seconds to explain the truth. He threw me out like old trash and kept my daughter from me.
I can’t just forgive that so easily.
If Roman wants us to be a family again, he’s going to have to work for it.
“I’ll move on from this in time, Roman. However, I need some time alone with Romany. I can’t go back; I can only move forward.”
“But you want to move forward without me.” It wasn’t a question.
I clutch his hand in mine. I love him. I’ll always love him, and nothing will ever change that. However, he has to know there will be consequences to his actions, especially when it comes to my daughter and me.
I can’t be without him forever; I know that.
“I need a few days to get my head around everything that happened. I need to spend time with Romany, just her and me. Can you give m
e that?”
Roman brings my hand to his mouth, kisses my knuckles and nods his head without looking at me. He presses my knuckles to his forehead, and I know he’s trying to hold back his emotions. Even big, bad bikers cry sometimes.
I want to comfort him, but I can’t give in so easily.
“It won’t be forever, Roman. I won’t keep Romany from you, I promise.”
“You should. I’m not good enough for her. I don’t deserve to be her father.”
“You deserve so much, Tallon.” He looks up at me, tears in his eyes. “I know how much you love our little girl. I know you kept her with you because you were afraid I’d take her away and you’d never see her again. I don’t want to hurt you, so I’m not keeping Romany from you, I’m just asking for a few days.”
That’s not too much to ask, is it?
“I won’t live in the past, Roman. I did enough of that before I met you.” I blink back the tears threatening to escape. “You’re my husband, and I love you, that will never change.”
The bed I’m sitting up in dips with the weight of the man I still love as he sits in front of me. His hand grabs the back of my head and pulls me against him. His arms are wrapped tightly around me, rocking me gently.
With one hand, I clutch at Roman’s back, trying to hold him against me for as long as I can, my other hand grabs at his shirt. It’s been too long since I felt his arms around me. I need to make this feeling last until we can be together again. I want to forgive Roman, to tell him everything is okay, and that we can go home now, but I can’t. Something is stopping me
I will always love him; there is no doubt about that. However, Roman hurt me in a way no one ever has or will again. All of the pain and humiliation I’ve faced, all of the horrors I was subjected to could never come close to what it did to me to have Romany taken from me.
“I love you, Marley. Ain’t never loved anyone the way I love you. I’ll never forgive myself for the things I said and did to you, but I hope one day, with a lot of groveling, you’ll forgive me and learn to trust me again.”
Crucify Thy Demons: Snakes Henchmen MC Page 24