by Brandy Bruce
“Yeah. I started Monday.”
“How was it?”
Ethan shrugged. “Not too bad. They went easy on me since it was my first time. But Isaac, my therapist, warned me it’s not going to be easy. I need to strengthen my core. I have a feeling the exercises will be painful. I’m ready, though. I want to get back to the way that I was.”
“Don’t push it too hard, man. Now with the café…well, you’ve got a lot weighing on you. Take it one day at a time.”
After a moment, Ethan decided to share with Caleb his concern for Isabella. After all, it had been Caleb who had introduced him to Christ. Ethan figured he might have some insight. Caleb listened intently, stroking his chin.
“The thing about faith, Ethan, is that it’s not always easy. It sounds to me as though faith has been a part of Isabella’s life for a long time. When unfortunate things happen, or things that are out of our control, as Christians we turn to God. But when we turn to Him and never seem to get an answer—or the answer always seems to be no—that can cause anyone to feel disappointed.
“All of us go through times when we wonder whether our prayers are going beyond the ceiling. Life throws curves at us. It can be hard to have faith when nothing seems to go right. A relationship with God can be much like any relationship with someone you love. The passion can grow cold. The trust and deep love can falter at times—at least, on our side it can. Not on God’s side. God hasn’t abandoned Isabella, Ethan. Sometimes you might feel like you have faith to move mountains. Other times you might question whether you have faith to keep believing. It sounds like Isa’s struggling to keep believing right now.”
“What can I do?” Ethan clasped his hands on the table.
“Support her. Encourage her. Be her friend. Pray for her.” Caleb smiled. “I’ve learned from my wife that when a woman has lost her passion, she usually needs to feel pursued.”
“You’re saying I should pursue her?” Ethan asked.
Caleb shook his head. “No. You already are, buddy. She wants to feel God pursue her.”
Chapter 8
Isa walked through the door of Ethan’s café, halting at the destruction zone in front of her. The flooring had been ripped up and half the room had been painted a different color. Some sort of contraption was being built in the center of the room. Ethan had definitely jumped in with both feet when it came to redesign. A little more than a week had passed since he’d closed the café and everything looked like a royal mess.
“Isa!” Ethan came through the kitchen with a wide smile on his face. “Welcome to my café!”
“Thanks. It’s looking…um… Is demolished a nice way to say what I’m thinking?”
Ethan laughed. “Demo is an accurate description,” he agreed. “But it won’t be this way much longer. Couple more days until the walls are completely painted. Then the floors will go in. The guys have been stopping over between shifts, helping paint and ripping up the floor. I think they like being destructive. Even the chief was over here earlier, painting. Rachel’s shopping for new decor as we speak.”
“Rachel?” Isa raised her eyebrows.
“Blake’s wife. I think you met him the night they brought me to the E.R.”
“Oh, right.” Isa moved to inspect the paint color and hoped he hadn’t recognized any traces of jealousy in her tone at the mention of another woman helping him.
“Have you decided on a name for the café yet?”
Ethan shrugged. “I think I’ve just about decided. I want it to be the right name. I want it to mean something.”
“It will come to you. So what’s this?” she pointed to the floor-to-ceiling half wall in the center of the room.
“Fireplace. We’re going to use real brick, but it will be a gas fireplace. Rachel says it will warm up the room, decoratively speaking.”
“Good idea,” Isa said, keeping her tone level. She knew Ethan wanted to share his excitement with her, but when it came to his new restaurant venture, she just wasn’t feeling very excited.
“The wall over there will have artificial brick. I’m having hardwood floors laid early next week.”
She bit back a grin. He looked like a kid on Christmas morning. She worked to stifle her attraction. It didn’t help that on top of looking eager and adorable, Ethan also looked gorgeous. His blue T-shirt hugged him in all the right ways. His ratty khaki pants had paint splattered on them and there was sawdust in his hair—somehow it all made him even more appealing to her. She liked how he obviously intended to be hands-on with every aspect of his business.
Isa just looked at him, enjoying the chemistry that seemed to ignite every time she was near him, while at the same time trying to overlook it.
He must have realized she was staring at him. “I know I’m a mess,” he said, dusting his pants.
She shrugged. “Messy looks good on you, Ethan.”
He stepped closer to her, smiling as though he knew how he affected her.
“So you’re saying you like me even when I’m a mess?”
Isa cleared her throat, thinking again of their kiss. “I guess I do. What can I say? I like messy.”
“You like messy. I like chaos. Sounds like a good match to me.” His eyes were bright, happy. “You can see that Rachel’s going for a fire-station theme with her decorating. All the guys are donating some memorabilia. I think it’s going to look pretty cool when we’re finished. I’m still working on the new menu.”
“Breakfast foods and then sandwiches and soups and salads, right?” Isa asked, wishing she didn’t want to stand so close to him and feel him take her hand in his. She could only assume that it was her hesitancy that kept Ethan from being more forward with her. She knew he liked her. And she wanted him to like her. She just didn’t want to do something crazy like fall head over heels in love, which she felt very much in danger of doing.
“Yeah and a couple of cheeseburgers. I’m thinking maybe a bacon-cheddar and a jalapeño-Jack.”
“Sounds good.”
“I could show you the menu once I’ve finished it,” Ethan said, hope permeating his words.
Isa nodded, making sure she didn’t come across as overly enthusiastic. “Sure, I’ll take a look if you want me to.”
“Would you like to see the kitchen?” Ethan stepped backward and Isa saw him flinch badly. She quickly reached for him and he gripped her arm.
“Ethan? What’s wrong? Is it your back?”
He clenched his jaw, breathing hard.
“Okay, take a deep breath. Relax if you can. I’m right here—hold on to me.”
He couldn’t answer, but he took deep breaths as she instructed. Once some of the tension eased, Isa led him to a chair and helped him sit down. He sat with his back rigid, clearly in extreme pain.
“Did you go to therapy this morning?” she asked.
He shook his head. “Tomorrow,” he told her. “I must have stepped wrong or something.”
Isabella frowned. “Does it happen often?”
Ethan shrugged and Isa got the feeling he didn’t want to tell her just how often he was experiencing that level of pain.
“When is your next doctor visit?”
“Not for a couple of weeks. For now I’m just supposed to be going to therapy. But it’s brutal, Isabella. I feel like a wimp saying that to you. But I can’t believe how hard therapy is.”
“You’re not a wimp, Ethan.” Isabella shook her head. “You had a spinal fracture. You’re hurting. It will get better. But talk to your doctor soon if you feel like something might be wrong. You need to be examined. And be sure to tell your therapist tomorrow about this incident. They might not want to work you so hard if you’re still hurting this badly.”
Ethan didn’t answer and Isa knew he was still smarting. “What can I do, Ethan?” She knelt in front of
him.
“A kiss might help,” he said with a tiny smile.
Isa licked her lips and was reminded again of just how charming Ethan Carter could be.
“You know you’re taking advantage of my concern for you, right?” Isa said.
Ethan just nodded. “Sometimes a guy has to do what a guy has to do.”
Isa laughed. “The same goes for girls,” she said before planting a soft kiss on his lips.
* * *
Isabella crept into the NICU after her shift the following Thursday morning, tiptoeing as nurses pointed at sleeping babies. She turned a corner and saw Maggie sitting in a rocking chair, her eyes closed.
“Mags?” Isabella whispered.
Her friend’s eyes flew open. She relaxed once she saw it was only Isa.
“I must have dozed off,” Maggie said, her voice just above a whisper.
Isa leaned down to hug her friend, then moved to the middle of the small space to look at Maggie’s daughter, Bianca. The teeny-tiny baby girl lay sleeping in the incubator. She seemed so small to have so much equipment hooked up to her. Because her lungs hadn’t fully developed, she was being given oxygen.
“Oh Maggie, she’s beautiful,” Isa said, touching the glass between herself and Bianca.
Maggie stood up and stretched. “I hate that she’s in there. I feel like she needs to be held,” Maggie said wistfully, tracing hearts on the glass.
Isa tucked her arm through her friend’s. “You’re right here loving her. Do they let you hold her at all?”
“A few times a day,” Maggie said. She looked up at Isa. “Those are the highlights of every day for me.”
Warm tears burned Isabella’s eyes. She hugged Maggie.
“The important thing is that she’s going to be fine.”
“She’s so little,” Maggie countered.
“For now. She’ll grow, Maggie. You know she will. She’ll be playing soccer before you know it.”
That drew a small smile from Maggie. “Let’s walk down for a soda,” she suggested, and Isa followed her through the NICU. They reached the hospital cafeteria and Isa ordered fries and two cans of Coke. Then the two girls found a bench outside to share.
“You look great, Maggie,” Isa said, knowing how much encouragement her friend needed. But the words didn’t help; Maggie looked at Isa with tears in her eyes.
“I feel like a disaster. I almost lost Bianca.”
Isa had no doubt that Maggie’s hormones were raging and that she was more than a little emotionally unsteady. She reached over and rubbed Maggie’s hand, looking right into her eyes.
“Mags, that wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known about the cervical insufficiency. It was scary, and you’re right, it could have been much worse. But Bianca was viable. She’s here. She’s going to be fine. You both will be.”
“It could happen again if I try to have another baby.”
Isa heard the trepidation in Maggie’s words. She shook her head.
“Next time they’ll watch you more closely. They’ll know the risk. You’re a nurse. You know there are measures to prevent preterm labor. Listen to me—right now you need to concentrate on yourself and on Bianca. You should keep taking your prenatal vitamins. And you need to keep your strength up. Are you nursing?”
Maggie shook her head. “She’s so small that she really struggled to latch on. And I’m not producing very much milk. I’m pumping what I can. And we’re supplementing with formula.” Maggie’s disheartened tone made Isa think this was another source of guilt for Maggie.
“You’re already a great mother, Maggie,” Isa said firmly. “I think Bianca is lucky to have you. You had no control over when Bianca was born. And you can’t control how much milk you can produce. These things are not your fault. You’ve got to let go of these expectations.”
“She’s so little.” The weepiness returned and Maggie started to cry. “I was so afraid.”
Isa held Maggie’s hand tightly.
“I was, too. If you need to talk through everything that happened, I’m here, Maggie. You can talk about whatever you want to. You can tell me exactly how you’re feeling. I want to encourage you. I want you to know I’m here for you—anything I can do to help. I mean it when I say just ask. We’re friends, Mags. You are never alone in this.”
“I’m glad Ethan was there,” Maggie said.
“Me too,” Isa agreed.
“He’s a good man, Isa.”
“He is.”
“I think you’re a good team.”
“Maybe,” Isa allowed.
They were both quiet for a moment, and then Maggie drew in a shaky breath.
“They want me to go home tonight.”
Isa could see the distress in Maggie’s eyes at the thought of being away from her baby.
“Bianca will probably be here for at least four more weeks.”
Isa didn’t say anything for a moment. She could say it would be all right, but the truth was that her friend was going home and her baby was staying in the NICU. Isa wouldn’t feel all right if it were her. Maggie’s hand was cold. Isa scooted closer to her on the bench.
“You prayed for me in the car,” Maggie said in a low voice.
Isa was surprised that Maggie even remembered.
“It was more like I yelled for you,” Isa admitted, and Maggie chuckled, then groaned and touched her stomach where her stitches were from the Cesarean section.
“Don’t make me laugh, Isabella Romano.” Maggie patted Isa’s hand this time. “Yelling, praying—sometimes they are the same thing.”
Isa looked down at her knees. “Do you really think so?”
“Yes.”
“I was afraid God wouldn’t help us.”
Maggie nodded. “I was afraid of that, too.”
“He’s so unpredictable,” Isa said, with a slight edge to her tone. But Maggie just looked out at the scene of mountains in the distance. The weather felt warm around them and the sky was picture-perfect clear; they could still see the mountaintops.
“He is. But I keep thanking Him for Bianca’s life. I keep thanking Him that you were there, that Ethan was there, that Leo drove us to the hospital quickly and safely. I needed all of you, and God made sure you were there for me.” Maggie drew in a ragged breath, full of emotion. “I’d nearly given up, Isa. Before I got pregnant with Bianca, I’d just about given up hope of ever being a mother. I thought I’d missed my chance.”
“I know,” Isa whispered.
“There were many times after my miscarriages when doubt filled my heart. But right now, with the knowledge that I’m a mother and my baby girl is alive and growing stronger every day, I know that God is a God of second chances. And third and fourth chances. He’s that kind of God, Isa. Just when we think things won’t work out…or certain dreams can’t come true…God surprises us. Sometimes I feel so afraid when I see Bianca in that incubator. But at the same time, I feel so grateful that God gave her to me.” Maggie turned to face Isa. “Isa, I need to tell you something. I don’t plan to come back to work. Not anytime soon. Bianca’s so small and she’ll be in the hospital for such a long time—she needs me. José’s going to look for a second job.”
Isa masked the sinking of her heart with an upbeat nod. “Of course. I completely understand, Maggie. I would do the same thing.”
Maggie turned back to face the mountains. “I’ll miss you.”
Isa could barely swallow from the lump in her throat. “You won’t have to. We’ll see each other all the time. You’re practically a Romano.”
Maggie gave her a small smile. “That’s true. I should get back. Walk with me.”
They walked side by side, with Isa trying not to think about the fact that Maggie wouldn’t be working with her any longer.
&n
bsp; “I’ll be coming here every day until Bianca is discharged,” Maggie told her.
“I’d expect nothing less. I’ll come up as often as I can,” Isa promised. They reached Bianca’s incubator, and again Isabella marveled at the tiny baby. As Isa turned to leave, Maggie held her back for a moment.
“Isa, thank you. For being with me, for supporting me, for caring enough to pray on my behalf—thank you.”
“You’re my friend, Maggie. It’s what friends do.”
Maggie nodded. “You can do one more thing for me.”
“Name it.”
“Give that good-looking fireman a real chance.”
The corners of Isa’s lips turned upward at the very thought of that good-looking fireman.
Ethan.
Chapter 9
Ethan gritted his teeth. He’d spent the past hour doing exercises and receiving massage therapy at Incline Physical Therapy and Wellness Center.
You can do this. It’s not so bad.
Ethan hated to admit it, but the personal pep talks weren’t working.
“How are you doing, Ethan?” Keira, the physical-therapy assistant who nearly always worked with him during his sessions, asked.
“Okay,” Ethan answered tightly, trying to push through the sting.
“Isaac said he wants you to do at least ten of these exercises before we cool down. Can you handle that?”
Ethan held back from voicing his feelings on whether he could handle the exercises. He knew Isaac and Keira were only trying to help him regain strength, but it felt like too much. By midexercise he couldn’t hold it in. Ethan gasped from the pain in his back and froze.
“Okay. Breathe out. It’s going to be okay, Ethan,” Keira said calmly, easing him through the intense pain.
By the end of his session, Ethan felt the way he usually did—exhausted and frustrated with his lack of progress.
“We’re going to go ahead and do some heat and stem treatment. That will feel a lot better, trust me,” Keira told him. “You just need to relax and let the heat do the rest.”