He sighed. “I guess you’ve got a right to know if anyone does. The answer is, I don’t fully understand it myself, not yet, anyway. It has something to do with the power I felt when I won, the power over my life that was so lacking when Dad was alive. I got hooked on that when I was just a kid.”
Ann nodded.
“The problem is you don’t always win, but you keep going back to get that kick, convinced that sooner or later it will happen again,” Tim went on. “And in the meantime, you’re losing. And I lost big. But part of the illness is, you’re always convinced that you will make that big score that will wipe out the loans and the debts and let you start over with a clean slate. And there’s plenty of scumbags around to feed that illusion while they’re plying you with perks and taking your money. It sucks you in, believe me.”
“You should have talked to me about it, Tim. You should have talked to somebody.”
He closed his eyes. “I know that now.” He opened them. “But when you’re in that whirlpool you really think you can handle it, that the next big win will be your last.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s an addiction, Annie. Why does a heroin addict keep sticking needles in his arms when his veins are collapsing and his skin is a mass of scabs and his last meal was a can of orange soda? Why does an alcoholic keep drinking when he’s bloated from liver failure and yellow with jaundice and can’t remember what he’s done for hours and days at time? It isn’t logical behavior, it’s an illness.”
Ann put her hand over his. “I’m sorry I asked you about it,” she said quietly. “Anyway that isn’t the point now, the point is to get you well.”
He bit his lip, not looking at her. “I’ll pay you back for what you’ve done for me, both of you. If I have to work at it for the rest of my life I promise I’ll pay you back.”
Ann squeezed his fingers. “Why don’t we just change the subject, okay? It’s Christmas, let’s have some Christmas cheer. Heath and I were just going to have a light supper. You’ll join us, okay?”
He looked up. “Okay.”
“And stay the night?”
He nodded.
“When can I unwrap that huge box and see what you brought me?” Ann asked.
He laughed. “After dinner.”
Ann got up to go into the kitchen and said, “Come on with me. You can help.”
Her brother followed her out of the room.
Chapter 10
“So Tim won’t have to go to trial at all?” Ann asked, watching Heath’s face.
“No. He’s pleading guilty to a lesser charge of embezzlement and mishandling of company funds.”
“What will he get for that?”
“Probably a suspended sentence in exchange for continuing with his twelve-step program and community service. And he’ll have to pay the money back, of course, but I’ll do that initially and then we can work out a payment schedule for him to reimburse me.”
Ann flung herself on Heath, knocking him off-balance and sending him into the bedroom wall.
“Hey, hey, take it easy,” he said, laughing and catching her in his arms. “It isn’t over quite yet, these legal procedures always go on forever, you know that. But things are definitely looking up for your brother.”
“I don’t know how to thank you.”
“I’m sure we can think of something,” he replied, bending her backward and kissing her neck. “Now, what time is your appointment with Dr. Langley?”
“Heath, I am going, don’t worry about it.”
“You’ve been saying that for two months. We discussed this at Christmas and it’s now February. You’re half finished with your book, you’ve done an outline projecting it into a series and you’ve redecorated the den. You’ve found time for all of these things but not for the ten-minute drive to Langley’s office. I’m beginning to wonder what’s going on here.”
“My appointment is for eleven, and after that I’m having lunch with Amy at La Crepe. Okay?”
“Okay, Princess,” he said, and released her reluctantly. “I’m going to be at the Big Palm office all day. You can reach me there if you need me.”
“I always need you,” she said.
He smiled as he picked up his jacket and slipped into it. “The feeling is mutual,” he said.
“Are you sure you don’t have time for breakfast?” Ann asked, brushing her hair.
“Nah, I’m late already. But make sure you eat— I’m going to check with Daniela when I come home. And remember we’re having dinner with the Jensens tonight.”
“I remember.”
He kissed her cheek and went out into the hall as Ann resumed her toilette.
* * * *
Dr. Langley proved to be a cheerful general practitioner with wire-rimmed glasses and an intense curiosity about the woman who had married Heath Bodine.
“So how did you two meet?” Langely asked as he took Ann’s blood pressure.
“Actually, we knew each other years ago when we were kids on Lime Island,” Ann said.
“Kind of lost touch, huh?” Langley said, making a notation in her file.
You could say that, Ann thought dryly as she nodded.
“I never thought Heath would get married,” Langley said. “Since I’ve known him, five years I guess, he’s lived for his business, didn’t seem to have much time for emotional involvements.”
“I guess the time comes sooner or later for everybody,” Ann said lightly.
“So you knew him before he made his money,” Langley said, feeling the glands at the sides of her throat.
“Yes.”
“What was he like then?”
“Intense, quiet, very good with machinery.”
“Doesn’t sound like he’s changed much,” Langely said, laughing as he inserted his stethoscope into his ears. He listened to her chest and back and then removed the instrument, stepping back and saying, “So, what are you doing here?”
“Heath insisted that I come. He thinks I have iron- poor blood or something.”
“Have you been tired?”
“A little.”
“We’ll run a blood test for anemia. Any episodes of dizziness, fainting?”
“Vertigo once or twice.”
“Aha. So there’s more here than meets the eye.”
“I haven’t been passing out, doctor, just a little room spinning, unsteadiness.”
“Well, you’re slightly underweight and your blood pressure is low, that might account for it. Any trouble with your periods?”
Ann hesitated.
“Well?” he said, watching her.
“They’ve been irregular. I’ve only had two in the last four months and they’ve been scanty.”
Langley bit his lip. “Any nausea, bloating?”
Ann looked at him.
He nodded. “I’ll give you a referral slip to an OB/ GYN right here in the building. I can’t find a thing wrong with you but you could be pregnant.”
Ann gasped. “But I’ve had two periods!”
He shrugged.“Some people don’t stop all at once, like turning off a faucet. I could run a pregnancy test here but you might as well get checked out by a specialist, you’ll need one anyway if you are pregnant. Hastings is good, she’s very thorough.” He pulled a pad out of his jacket pocket and scribbled on a slip. He ripped off the top sheet and handed it to her.
Ann stared at it, stunned.
“Why do you seem so surprised?” Langley asked. “The possibility hadn’t occurred to you?”
“I thought as long as I was bleeding I couldn’t be pregnant. It seemed logical that the excitement and tension of getting married, moving back to Florida, other personal problems, could have thrown off my cycle,” Ann replied. “My brother has been in some legal trouble and it’s been pretty stressful.”
“I could be wrong. If you don’t want to wait for your appointment with Hastings, take a home pregnancy test. They’re quite accurate.”
Ann nodded.
�
�How do you think Heath will react to the news if you are pregnant?” Langley asked.
“I hope he’ll be happy,” Ann said softly.
“Of course he’ll be happy. With a beauty like you, he will make gorgeous babies.”
“Doctor, just in case you talk to him don’t say anything about this until I tell him, okay? I want it to be a surprise.”
“Sure, sure, I understand. But get in to see Hastings as soon as possible, okay? Your symptoms could mean other things—adhesions, endometriosis. You should be checked. Don’t you have a regular gynecologist?”
“In New York.”
“Go back to that doctor then if you feel more comfortable. But you’ll need somebody local if you plan to have the baby here, to oversee the pregnancy. Just don’t neglect this, okay?”
“All right.”
Ann left the doctor’s office with mixed feelings of elation and nervousness. She was certainly thrilled, but she couldn’t forget Heath’s reaction when she’d brought up the subject of having children on Christmas Eve.
Would he feel differently now if he knew the possibility had become reality? As she drove to the restaurant to meet Amy, she kept mulling it over in her mind, considering alternatives, trying to decide what to do.
On the way there she bought a home pregnancy test at the Lime Pharmacy.
She would make sure of what was happening before she said anything to Heath.
* * * *
Amy was waiting outside the restaurant when Ann pulled up in her car. Amy waved enthusiastically as Ann approached, then hugged her friend as they walked into the restaurant.
“I’m so glad you could make it,” Ann said to Amy. “You’re just down for the weekend?”
Amy nodded. “I’m flying back to New York late tomorrow afternoon.”
“How’s your mother?”
“The same. Buying new furniture for the living room. The floor was covered with swatches.” She surveyed Ann slyly. “So, how is life in the revamped Bodine marriage?” she asked as they waited for the hostess to seat them.
“Wonderful,” Ann replied.
“Yes, I could tell that by the new wheels you’re driving. Do you know how much that car costs?”
Ann looked at her. “Haven’t a clue. Heath leased it for me last month. I couldn’t drive his RV or his motorcycle, and when living in New York I didn’t need a car.”
“Didn’t you go with him to get it?”
“No, he just drove it home one day.”
Amy shook her head as the hostess led the two women to a table. “You’re a rare specimen, Annie. I’ve always known it.”
“I’m not interested in cars, Amy, you know that,” Ann said as she sat.
“Or anything else but Heath and those books you write,” Amy replied, sitting across from her.
“You’re wrong, Amy,” Ann replied as she took her menu from the hostess.
Amy raised her brows inquiringly as the hostess walked away from them.
“I’m interested in knowing whether or not I’m pregnant,” Ann said, and Amy let out a whoop.
Several of their fellow diners seated nearby turned to look at them.
“Please control yourself,” Ann said.
“Are you sure?”
“No. I’m going to take a home test but the doctor I saw this morning thinks I may be.”
“Oh, dear, I’m so jealous,” Amy said mournfully. “Here I am, still dating twenty different varieties of Mr. Wrong and you’re married with a baby on the way.”
“It’s still not certain.”
“Oh, of course it is, doctors know. What do you think Heath will say?”
“That’s my biggest concern at the moment.”
They paused in their conversation as the waitress arrived and they gave their orders. When the woman walked away, Amy leaned across the table and said, “What do you mean, your biggest concern? Doesn’t he want children?”
“He acted very weird when we discussed it.”
“When was that?”
“Christmas.”
“He had just learned that you’d been telling him the truth about leaving him all those years ago. Maybe he was just overwhelmed.”
“I don’t think so,” Ann said worriedly.
“Why?”
“He went into this big speech about his father being an alcoholic and not wanting to pass that problem on to the next generation.”
“Oh.”
“I told him every family has problems but I don’t think I was getting through to him.”
“Well, you know how abysmal his childhood was. It’s understandable that he would have some negative feelings on the subject.”
“But some people in his situation resolve to make it better for their children. They want to take special care to be loving and attentive and interested and understanding. They want to be the opposite of the parents who hurt them. It’s really the only way to deal constructively with a history like that.”
“Are you talking about yourself now?” Amy asked quietly, fiddling with her napkin.
“Maybe. I know I’ll never treat a child of mine the way my father treated me.”
“Heath doesn’t have your temperament,” Amy said. “He’s bound to react differently.”
Ann shrugged.
“He must know you haven’t been using birth control,” Amy said dryly. “What does he think is going to happen?”
“He doesn’t seem concerned about it. I’ve told him my periods have been irregular, that’s one of the reasons he insisted on the doctor’s visit. Maybe he thinks I can’t conceive.”
“Annie, I cannot believe that you haven’t discussed this with him.”
Ann sighed. “I’ve tried, but he’s a magician at changing the subject. I haven’t wanted to argue with him. Things have been so lovely since the holidays I hate to burst the bubble.”
“And you think this bulletin just may do that?” Amy inquired, concerned.
“I don’t know.”
The waitress returned with two glasses of iced tea and set them on the table. “Lunch will be right up,” she said, and walked away.
“Remember how your mother used to laugh at us, drinking iced tea all year long?” Amy said.
Ann nodded, smiling.
“It will be all right, Annie,” Amy said softly.
Ann looked away from her. “If I am pregnant of course I want the baby. But if I lost Heath now, I think I would die,” she said.
“You won’t lose him. He’s crazy about you.”
“He’s crazy about me as long as I do what he wants,” Ann replied flatly.
“Oh, come on. You’re making him sound very cold.”
“A side of him is. You’re forgetting the person who made that lovely marriage-blackmail proposal a few months ago. He’s still in there, along with the charmer who selects exquisite jewelry and leases expensive cars.”
“And bails brothers out of jail.”
“Right.”
“Nobody ever said Heath wasn’t complex.”
“Certainly not me.”
Amy raised her glass of iced tea. “Drink up. Odds are all will be well. Now, let me tell you about my latest dating fiasco, the supposedly available publishing executive who turned out to have a darling little wife and four fetching kiddies tucked away at the last stop on the commuter line.”
Ann laughed and tried to listen to Amy’s monologue. But her mind kept drifting back to the little box with the pregnancy test inside it, nestled in a bag in the trunk of her car.
She would use it as soon as she got home.
* * * *
By the time Heath returned from work that night, Ann knew that she was pregnant. The liquid in the test tube had turned bright pink the second she completed the steps. She had stowed the box and the plastic debris from the test in the paper bag and stuck it in the bottom of her closet. She didn’t want Daniela coming across it by accident.
Heath came in whistling, his jacket slung over his shoulder, his face li
ghting up when he saw Ann in the bedroom.
“Don’t you look pretty!” he said, admiring her turquoise silk suit. “Is that new?”
“Yes.”
“Did you see Langley?”
“Yes again. He couldn’t find a thing wrong with me but he’s going to run a test for anemia.”
“Why?”
“I told him you thought I had iron-poor blood.”
Heath laughed. “He’ll be accusing me of practicing medicine without a license.”
“I must say that he seemed very curious about our star-crossed union.”
Heath dumped his jacket on a chair. “He thinks I’m an anomaly, and I guess I am in a way. He doesn’t know too many self-made millionaires.”
“Who does?”
“I’ll bet he was impressed with you,” Heath said, changing to a fresh shirt.
“Why?”
“You’re beautiful and accomplished. He thinks I’ve snagged a prize.”
“Just as long as you think that,” Ann said, coming up behind him and putting her arms around his waist.
“How could I think otherwise?” he said, covering her hands briefly with his and then breaking loose to select a new jacket from his closet.
Ann put her brush and her lipstick into her handbag and slipped it over her shoulder.
“Ready?” Heath said as he emerged from the depths of his closet.
Ann nodded.
“What time are the Jensens expecting us?”
“Seven-thirty.”
“Then let’s go.”
He took her hand and they walked out to the garage.
* * * *
Joan Jensen welcomed them into her modern ranch house on the leeward side of Lime Island with a broad smile.
“Here’s the happy couple!” she said. “I was hoping you wouldn’t be late. My appetizers are fossilizing in the oven.”
Heath kissed Joan loudly on the cheek. “This woman kept me alive when we were starting Bimini,” he said to Ann. “I ate here five nights a week.”
“He’s exaggerating,” Joan said.
“Not by much.”
Joe appeared, bearing drinks, and the two men retired to the den just off the hall. Ann followed Joan into the kitchen and helped her to serve up the stuffed mushrooms and pigs in blankets, making small talk and inserting toothpicks into the finger food.
Native Affairs Page 59