by Lila Felix
“There’s not. What happened to Rebekah—it could easily be one of us next.”
She placed my phone in my open hand, synced to the new message from the murderers themselves.
“Want to come with me?” I asked her.
“Yeah. I don’t want you to be alone with them. I don’t give a damn if I’m summoned or not. I’m not letting you have all the fun. Besides, I have some new teal eyeliner that will make their eyes bleed.”
“Eyes bleed? Really?”
She smirked. “Hey, you didn’t say how you wanted to kill them. Death by eyeliner seems like a decent way to go.”
Laughing for the first time in a long time, my smile faltered when I looked at the message again. Being summoned by the Synod was becoming more common than not. I had to get used to it. But I didn’t have to like it.
“I have to tell Theo.”
Her eyes told me what she would not admit. There was a chance Theo wouldn’t even care. He was somewhere else, though his body was still with me.
That hurt the worst, his nonchalance about what was happening to us.
I slipped downstairs and past the people who were dying a slow death from boredom. They questioned my haste with their eyes, but there was no time for their bullshit. I needed to find Theo. And I needed to find him fast—before the Synod got their panties in a twist and someone else was killed.
I felt her coming toward me. It was like water in a desert, except I wasn’t approaching the mirage, it was approaching me. I swallowed against the sensation and was quenched momentarily.
She came to find me after deeming my time in the garden to be obsessive. I’d heard her tell Collin that she thought it was a little obsessive. I hated that word. Obsessive inferred that it was my choice to be here, but I was a thrall to those in the Fray.
Time didn’t pass the same for me anymore. I looked forward to those minimal moments of sleep—if I got them.
If it weren’t for Colby, I would’ve succumbed to the calling long ago.
“Hey, you haven’t eaten,” she said, sitting down and scooting forward so that I was forced to put my head in her lap, not that it was any inconvenience. Her legs were cool against my head, warmed by the sun.
“I haven’t?” In all honesty, I couldn’t remember the last time I had eaten.
“No. You need to come eat. And I have to go to a meeting. I’ve been summoned,” she said as she ran her hands through my hair, longer than I’d ever let it get.
She might as well have told me she had been bludgeoned. There was no way she was going to that meeting.
“You’re not going.” I commanded, maybe for the first time in my life.
Her hand stopped stroking my hair for a second, the only indication I had that she was actually listening.
“I am going. Ari is coming with me. Look what happened last time I didn’t go. And since when do you try to tell me what to do? That’s not very Theo of you.”
I shrugged. “It was worth a shot.”
Her nails skimmed my scalp, lulling me into something like rest. It was the only time I found anything kin to release—when I was with Colby.
“You need to come inside. Get something to eat. Try to get some rest. I need to know you’re at least with Collin and Torrent while I’m gone.”
“Afraid I’m gonna disappear, Querida?” The question pockmarked the already holey air around us.
“Yes.”
Her fears weren’t unfounded, but now wasn’t the time to validate them.
She stood and held out her hand. A dress I didn’t remember fluttered in the morning breeze around her slim ankles. The tied strings of a bikini I couldn’t forget peeked out and were laced around her neck. If Paraiso was more beautiful than Earth, then that’s where my female must’ve come from.
“Come on, Theo.”
Walking back, I didn’t tell her that without her hand in mine, guiding me, I would’ve been lost. Every pathway looked the same. Every turn seemed wrong. If I didn’t know better, I’d think we were turning in circles. The place where Rebekah was laid to rest was like a magnet—there was something about that spot—something I was missing.
“Just ignore Torrent and Collin while we’re gone. Oh, and Pema has gone to see her family—or is going to leave sometime today. I can’t remember. Just don’t let Torrent bring you anywhere.”
“I didn’t even let Torrent bring me to school in the mornings.”
She gifted me with a hint of a smile.
“Good. Does it at least make you feel better?”
I stopped us with a tug on her hand before we got into the house and stole a moment, inches away from the window that would give us an audience.
I was dead tired of audiences.
I’d never asked to be in anyone’s spotlight except Colby’s.
“What are you doing?”
“I need a minute with you.”
“Right here?” she asked.
“Right here.”
Nuzzling her neck with my nose, I said all the things in Portuguese that she loved to hear. But this time, they were wasted as her mind was already made up. Colby leaned her head back against the wall and gave me what I wanted, access to the places that made her call my name—a name I faintly remembered. Her hands fisted my shirt and pulled me so close, I thought I’d crush her. Our mouths finally joined and my thirst for her was temporarily quenched.
“I have to go. Tell you what, when I get back, we can have all the alone time you want—if I’m still alive.”
I thumped my head against her forehead. “Don’t say that. You have to come back to me. Don’t make me live without you.”
“I’ll do my damndest.”
“That’s my girl.”
She dragged me inside and forced me to take three bites of—something—before announcing she was leaving. I watched her go upstairs to get Ari and felt her leave soon after—like an artery had been plucked, cutting off my lifeline.
“Eat up, beloved Eidolon. You’ll need your strength for the trip.”
“I’m not going with her.” My eyes never left the plate. It was a sandwich. When had Colby learned to make a sandwich? Maybe she always knew. It was much more appealing than my seething brother. There was no good reason for him to stand around like that all day, observing and scheming. Or if he was going to—the least he could do was to get on with it and tell me his plan.
“Oh, really? You’re letting her see the Synod by herself? With all the secrets she keeps? That’s a shame, considering how fond those women are of their little pretend torture devices.”
“They’re not going to torture her. And she’s not going to tell them anything. She’s not a weasel like you.”
He scoffed. “All the insults around here. I’d swear you people don’t want me here anymore.”
“If we didn’t need your evil scheming, we wouldn’t. Speaking of which, don’t you have some kind of plan yet?”
He stole the crust I’d discarded. “I do. But that all depends on you. Are you going to go on vacation anytime soon?”
He was goading me in front of Collin. What he didn’t know was that Collin already knew I’d decided to visit the Fray. I told Collin most things.
“I don’t really call going to escort people to Paraiso where they belong a vacation, but yes, soon.”
“We’ll have to see how long it takes you to come back before we make a solid plan then.”
My eyebrows furrowed.
“I don’t think you realize where you’re going, brother. People get lost in the Fray for a reason. Time doesn’t pass the same. There are no clocks or wrinkled faces to let you know. There’s only white space filled with waves of sorrow and regret. Why do you think the Eidolons of the past stayed longer and longer each time? Once you go, it becomes like an addiction. The negative space is heady.”
My stomach soured and I pushed the half-eaten meal away and turned so I couldn’t see his insincere concern. And him calling me brother every five seconds wasn’t putting hon
ey on his tone.
“I’ll always come back to Colby.”
“If I’m not mistaken, if you substitute Sevella for Colby, that’s a direct quote.”
What I hadn’t told Theo was that I was going to make this meeting nails-down-a-chalkboard hell for the Synod.
“No shit. This is the golden room?” Ari spun in a circle, taking in the room.
I had nothing left in me except smartassery. “No, it looks like the golden goose had dysentery in here, but it’s called the silver room.”
I heard her scoff behind me. “Must everything be sarcasm?”
“I don’t do peaches and cream, Ari. You know this.” Rocking back and forth on my heels, I could barely stand the wait. That’s why they made people wait in that unnaturally gilded room, to drive them batshit crazy, scrambling their brains.
She shrugged her shoulders. I could see her in the reflection of one of the golden panels. “I thought that was just because you weren’t with Theo anymore.”
“He isn’t made of sugar.”
“Someone should be nice in this place. It’s so sour.”
Regina opened the door and interrupted our spat. It was actually distracting me from thinking about how gold never glitters and these women weren’t calling me in for tea and scones.
“Welcome back, Colby. We can’t express how sorry we are about the loss of Rebekah. She was a great asset to our race.”
It was uncanny how little couth these women had.
I stuck my finger down my throat and pretended to throw up on Ari as we walked behind Regina to the meeting room. When we got there, I poked Ari in the ribs, her ticklish spot. She didn’t even laugh. She just stood there, looking like the table full of misgiven women were Medusas.
She didn’t have to gaze into their eyes to turn to stone.
“What do you need from me? Another picture show? I was pretty bored back there. Nice timing.” I wasn’t going to dance around the fact that my last visit to the Synod, the council who governed our people, preached safety, and upholded the laws, had shown me pictures of exactly what they did to those who disobeyed. Although, in the back of my mind, I wondered if the images were falsified. I wouldn’t have put it past them.
Regina clicked her fingernails on the desk. “There will be no need for more evidence. I think we made ourselves perfectly clear the last time.”
I studied my fingers, pretending to be preoccupied with those pesky little skin things that peel from the sides. “Then what do you need? Collin and I have this running chess game—I’m kicking his ass. He’s going to cheat and move the pieces if I’m gone too long. Vikings cheat, pillage, and steal. It’s like, in his blood.”
They looked at each other. They didn’t know what to do—they’d expected a broken Colby. There was only one thing that could completely break me.
“We have heard some unseemly rumors.”
“Oooh, juicy gossip. Do tell.”
I sat down and crossed my legs, making the metal chair protest. They pretended to ignore my candor, but I saw Regina’s nose twitch.
“We have been made aware that you are keeping company with Sanctum.”
My nose wrinkled. “Eeew. He’s like, what, three hundred years old? That’s disgusting. How is that possible?”
The best way to answer bullshit questions was to pose more bullshit questions.
“Sanctum is not one person—it is a title.”
“So is Queen Bee. I told you we would be here for a lesson, Ari.” I reached out and slapped my best friend on the thigh, trying to get her to join me.
Finally, Ari had thawed and laughed at my joke. “I thought I was Queen Bee and you were Queen of Shopping.”
“I can’t remember.”
“Ladies!” Carlita slammed her fist on the desk. I pulled my lips inside my mouth and bit down on them to stop myself from smiling.
“Ouch, Regina someone should get you a gavel. That’s gonna mess up your nails. Nice color, by the way, blood red.”
A smirk grew on Arlene’s face. “Colby, you look tired. How’s your mother?” She was playing her knight way too early. Pathetic.
“Don’t know. She disappeared. You know, after her mother was murdered.”
“Murdered?” They gasped in unison. I cracked my neck. Ari took her shoes off which I thought was hilarious.
“Well, yes, my grandmother was much too clean to have slit her own throat. And she loved that bathtub.” Flashes of finding Rebekah in that crimson tub pulsed in my head. “But I’m sure the investigation is ongoing, correct? I mean, a former prophet found dead? I know you’re doing everything you can to find the killer. Especially since there was no evidence of forced entry. Someone must’ve flashed in there.”
Ari concurred. “It was strange, wasn’t it?”
No matter what, Ari always had my back. I remembered when I’d met with the Synod when Theo was still in Belgium. She dropped everything to listen to me, yet not coddle me. I didn’t need coddling. I needed to spew out all my distress and then be pushed back into action. Ari was the best at that. “But that’s not why you called me here. You called me to see if I’ve been keeping company with someone who died over fifty years ago or almost that long. Sorry, no corpses in my closet. Unless he’s a zombie. Double-eeew.”
I could play the ditsy blonde ‘til the cows came home.
“Did you see that episode of The Walking Dead where just the torso of that woman was crawling around? I almost threw up.”
Ari talking about The Walking Dead making her throw up was the closest thing to the truth this room had ever seen. She did get sick during every episode—but still was a loyal watcher.
Regina fumed. “Damn it, Colby. You know what we are talking about! We mean Torrent.”
I loved driving people so mad that they gave up their own secret information.
“Torrent? Theo’s brother? He’s been gone since we were kids. You found him? Oh, I can’t wait to tell Theo and his parents. They’ve missed him so.”
I was aggravating myself at that point. All the women seated at the table were crossing and uncrossing their legs in aggravation. That was my favorite part.
You take my grandmother, I take your sanity. It wasn’t an even exchange by a long shot.
“Colby, I warn you. Any more of this mindless chatter and we will retaliate.”
I spat back, “How? My mother is gone and you’ve already taken care of my grandmother. And Ari—I don’t even really like her. I keep her around for her cooking.”
The anger could be seen brewing in Regina’s eyes. If she wasn’t careful, that shit was going to bubble over.
“Has he traveled to the Fray yet? Has he worried you with how long he was gone? Did you think you might have lost him forever? Did you think for once that his mission is more important than your love?”
“Wait!” Ari stood, and I could see the wheels turning in her head. Every once in a while she got her act together. For a few seconds, she stuck out her tongue in an act of deep thinking. I hadn’t seen her do the tongue maneuver since we had a coloring contest as kids.
“What?” I stood with her, thinking it was just another kooky distraction.
“The mate of the Eidolon falls under the jurisdiction of the Eidolon only. She doesn’t have to answer any of your questions. She answers to her mate and her mate only.”
My face flushed. She just let the bird out of the cage.
I didn’t dare look at them sitting in their comfortable chairs, leaning back like judges about to throw down a life sentence without parole. Instead, I slapped Ari on the shoulder. My reactions were extra explosive lately.
“You are not sealed yet, dear Colby. Until then, you are still under the jurisdiction of me—the Council—us.”
Ari rolled her eyes.
“They have made the vows. It will be soon.” Ari continued blabbing. I regretted bringing her with me. In places where she should scream and kick, she remained still, and here, where I needed her to shut her trap, her mouth was
running like a zombie was chasing it. I was going to have to throw her over my shoulder, take her ass to China, and leave her in that haunted forest.
“We can’t wait for the invitation.”
A shudder ripped through my chest.
“Ari’s in charge of them.” That was my only revenge, paper punishment.
Ari stuttered, “Uh… yeah, I’m sure it’s in the mail.”
“Until then, my dear, be ready to answer our questions. We are needed elsewhere.”
With a flick of her wrist, we were made to leave. The whole thing was one huge waste of time and effort. I could’ve been with Theo. I could’ve been anywhere in the world but here.
“Shit. Now we’ve got to get your dress ready.”
This was not the way I’d wanted to be sealed to the man I loved.
Under duress just didn’t fall into the romance category.
She’d been gone too long. But as I looked around the living room, no one else seemed to be worried or even care. Something was off in me—time didn’t hold the same meaning or the same form. I grabbed the edge of the counter and forced myself to watch the minutes tick by.
Deep inside, I shook like I’d had one too many Red Bulls. It was becoming more prominent as the days wore on and I wondered how anyone dealt with it.
No wonder the Eidolon was always portrayed as a mess. I was the mess now. I felt like Albert Einstein’s hair, but deep in the pit of my stomach.
She was in Italy—that much I knew. At least that sense hadn’t left me yet. But I couldn’t hear her anymore—those far away glances of her had turned into phantoms and abandoned me like most of my mind.
“You look lost,” Collin commented, patting me on the back. If it was possible, Collin seemed taller.
“I’m always lost—have been for some time.” I needed a pity party sign to hang around my neck.
He grunted. “You need an anchor.”
I looked up at him—the bridge of his nose scrunched. His hair was getting downright unruly, his words, not mine. “I have one.”
“Then you need a better chain.”
“My thoughts exactly.”
Collin and I always spoke in words that were both intricate and vague—both specific and generic at the same time. It was like reading a Neil Gaiman book hopped up on Mountain Dew.