Abram couldn’t deny the thought was tempting.
The waiter arrived and set their steaming cups of coffee on the table.
“So what do you think?” Hubbard asked. “Are you ready to try something new?”
Thoughts of Charlotte filled Abram’s mind and he knew the answer. For the rest of his life, there would be many opportunities that would come his way, but he had made a commitment to stay in Little Falls.
“No.” He shook his head. “Little Falls is my legacy, and I intend to stay here for as long as God allows. This is my home.”
The only thing his home lacked was his family.
* * *
The stagecoach rolled through the darkening streets of St. Paul, jostling Charlotte and the boys. George was asleep in Charlotte’s arms and the older two boys had curled up on either side of her, with their heads in her lap. The stagecoach had been uncomfortable and hard for the boys, but Charlotte had kept them entertained—which had distracted her from thinking of Abram. But now, with them asleep, she allowed the memories to engulf her in both joy and sorrow.
She was in awe of how Little Falls had grown up around her. How often did a dream materialize in such a short time? Yes, it had taken Abram years of hard work and sacrifice before she had arrived—but then it had come together like a well-timed dance, swirling out of the dust.
The memories with Abram spun about in her mind, twisting and turning, until they created a bittersweet taste in her soul. When she closed her eyes, she could see his twinkling blue gaze and hear his deep laughter—and she recalled the way he had looked at her the night of the storm. What would have happened if the dam hadn’t broken? Would she have allowed him to kiss her? The question left an aching hole in her heart, begging to be answered.
The coach came to a stop and Charlotte opened her eyes to see a two-story clapboard hotel in the dying light.
Andrew climbed down and opened the door. “I’ll help you get the little ones into the hotel, and then I’ll have a boy come out and give me a hand with your luggage.”
Charlotte indicated for him to take Martin and then she roused Robert. It took her several attempts to get him to climb out of the stagecoach. His head hung low and his feet dragged as they walked into the hotel.
The establishment wasn’t fancy, but it would do for the night. The lobby was clean and simple, with a fireplace and several wooden chairs spread throughout. One chair by the smoldering fire was occupied with a young woman who rose upon their entry and quickly approached.
“Are you Andrew, the stagecoach driver?” she asked.
Andrew held Martin in an awkward position, with the boy’s head flopping to the side. “Yep.”
The lady let out a relieved, somewhat dramatic sigh. She had blond curls and the biggest blue eyes Charlotte had ever seen. Her clothes were well crafted and looked new.
“The hotel proprietor said you run the stage north on Fridays,” the lady said. “I’m wondering if there’s a way I could persuade you to go tomorrow instead.”
“On a Tuesday?” Andrew lifted a gray eyebrow, clearly perplexed by the question. “I never heard of such a thing.”
Charlotte went to the counter and smiled at the diminutive man behind the desk. “I’d like to check in, please.”
“I need to get to Little Falls as soon as possible,” the young lady said.
“Little Falls?” Charlotte turned to look at her more closely.
“I just came from that direction today,” Andrew said. “I don’t aim to head back until early Friday morning.”
“That means I have to stay here for four days?” The lady glanced around the lobby. “What will I do here? I should be in Little Falls, getting the school ready for my pupils.”
“School?” Charlotte stepped away from the counter, George heavy in her arms and Robert lagging near her side. “Are you Miss Helen Palmer?”
The lady blinked her pretty eyes several times. “Why, yes, I am! How do you know?”
“But I thought you were getting married. Abram—Mr. Cooper isn’t expecting you.”
“He’s not? Oh, dear. I called off my engagement almost immediately after writing to the superintendent of the school, but I decided to come anyway. I thought maybe I’d get here before my letter. Do you think they’ll send me back?”
“Mr. Cooper will be relieved to have a teacher for his school.” The thought of Abram’s joy brought a smile to Charlotte’s lips.
“Are you from Little Falls?” Miss Palmer asked.
Was she from Little Falls? “No. I’m from Iowa City.”
“But you’ve been in Little Falls?”
“Yes, for several months.”
“Oh, I’d love to hear all about Little Falls. Do you have the time?”
Andrew cleared his throat and Robert swayed with exhaustion.
“I’m leaving first thing in the morning. I’m afraid I won’t have time.”
“Oh, please.” Miss Palmer twisted a handkerchief in her hands. “I must sit here for four days and fret. I’d appreciate any information you may have to relieve my anxiety.”
Charlotte adjusted George. How could she refuse to visit with the new teacher? “I need to check in and put the boys to bed. Would you like to come to my room?”
“Yes.” Miss Palmer nodded emphatically. She glanced at Robert and offered a sympathetic look. “Would you like me to pick up your son? He looks so tired.”
Her son? “He’s not my—” She paused, realizing that, for all intents and purposes, these were her sons now and she was their mother. Though she knew she would never replace Susanne, she would do her best to make her sister proud. “If he’ll allow you.”
Miss Palmer took a step toward Robert and smiled. “May I hold you?”
Robert simply blinked his tired eyes.
“He’s deaf,” Charlotte explained.
“Oh.” Miss Palmer squatted to Robert’s level and her smile grew softer, though there was no pity. “Would you ask him if I may hold him?”
Charlotte signed the request, telling Robert this was a teacher and she was very kind.
To her surprise, Robert acquiesced and Miss Palmer lifted him.
Her bright smile and infectious personality drew Charlotte to her immediately. She would make a good teacher, and would be a welcome addition for the male population in Little Falls.
Charlotte checked into a clean room overlooking the crude downtown streets of St. Paul. Andrew brought up her trunks and placed them in her room. She thanked him and wished him well.
Miss Palmer helped Charlotte prepare the boys for bed. Afterward, she sat quietly in one of the chairs near a window and waited for Charlotte to finish changing George’s diaper.
All three boys fell back to sleep on the only bed in the room, and Charlotte joined Miss Palmer near the window, sighing as she collapsed in the chair.
“You must be exhausted,” Miss Palmer said. “Are you traveling back to Iowa City?”
Charlotte nodded. “I am exhausted, and, yes, I’m traveling back to Iowa City.”
“Is your husband in Little Falls or Iowa?”
“No.” Charlotte shook her weary head. “I’m not married.”
Miss Palmer’s blond eyebrows rose to her hairline. “You’re not married—but I assumed...”
“The boys are my nephews. I went to Little Falls to take them from their father and bring them back with me.”
She bent forward to whisper, “Was their father...unfit to raise them?”
“Unfit?” Charlotte shook her head. “No, nothing like that.” She paused, thinking of Abram and all his qualities. “He is a wonderful father.” Her voice betrayed the depth of her feelings and she felt her cheeks grow warm. It was true. Abram was a helpful, loving and compassionate man. Now that she had some distance
from him, she realized he was the most fit father—and man—Charlotte had ever met.
“Oh.” Miss Palmer nodded, a depth of understanding in the one word. “He couldn’t raise them on his own, so he asked you for help?”
She was asking personal questions, but Charlotte didn’t mind. It felt good to talk to another woman.
“He didn’t actually ask me for help, but he needed it.”
“It’s nice that you’re able to help him.”
Charlotte didn’t want to talk about herself any longer. “What would you like to know about Little Falls?”
Miss Palmer nearly bounced in her seat. “Anything you’d like to tell me.”
Charlotte told the new teacher everything she could about the town and the people, preparing her for all the single men.
“And may I ask why you changed your mind about coming to Little Falls after you wrote the letter?” Charlotte asked.
Miss Palmer sighed. “I decided I didn’t want to settle down and marry Ned. He was just so...so stable. He never wanted to take any risks. If I married him, my life would be the same, day in and day out, forever.” She wrinkled her nose and laughed. “And where’s the fun in that?”
“There’s a great deal of reassurance with a life like that.”
“Reassurance?” She shook her head. “Nothing is sure in life. We’re not guaranteed tomorrow, so why not be adventurous and take some risks today?”
Charlotte looked at the boys, asleep on the bed. She couldn’t afford to take risks. She had responsibilities. So many things could go wrong. “Aren’t you afraid?”
Miss Palmer tilted her head. “Of what?”
“Of never being content. When do you stop taking risks? When is enough good enough?”
“I don’t know.” She laughed. “I suppose it’s never ‘good enough’ until we’re home with God. I think maybe God enables us to long for more, so we keep seeking, and pursuing, and going after Him and all He has planned for us. That might mean being a mama to three little boys, or being a teacher, or a wife—but whatever He has planned for us, we should never let fear stop us from going after it.” She leaned back and became serious. “I don’t want to get to the end of my life and realize I missed a chance to walk in God’s will, just because I was afraid.”
“You sound much bolder than me.”
Miss Palmer studied Charlotte with a penetrating gaze. “What are you most afraid of, Miss Lee? It’s obvious you’re in love with Mr. Cooper, so why didn’t you stay in Little Falls?”
“In love?” Charlotte clasped her hands and tried to laugh. “I’m not in love.” But was she?
Her chair suddenly felt uncomfortable, so she stood and walked over to the bed to check on her sleeping nephews.
Why was she so afraid of falling in love with Abram? Was she afraid of death? Meeting the same fate as her mother and sister? No. Death wasn’t the end. It was only the beginning for those who believe in Jesus.
Was she afraid of marriage? She thought about her parents’ marriage and visions of her father clouded her thoughts. She could almost hear him talking about a new plan—one that Charlotte knew would fail to satisfy him like all the others. It always left her wondering why his family wasn’t enough—why she wasn’t enough—to satisfy him.
She also thought of Thomas and how the lure of gold had been greater than the prospect of spending a life with her. She wasn’t enough to satisfy him, either.
And in that moment Charlotte finally understood what she was afraid of.
It wasn’t death, or marriage, or even following a husband who had grand dreams—it was the fear that she would never be enough for him.
Her father had chased countless dreams and schemes, when all along his greatest treasure, his family, was right in front of him. Thomas had run after riches when all along his greatest possession, her heart, had been in the palm of his hand.
Charlotte looked down at the boys again and with blinding clarity realized Abram’s greatest treasure was lying in the bed, cuddled up together, with her—not because they couldn’t satisfy him, but because he thought they would be better off with her. He had entrusted them to her care and he believed she was enough—more than enough—for them.
But was she enough for Abram?
“Miss Lee?” Miss Palmer stood and put her hand on Charlotte’s shoulder. “Are you all right?”
“Yes. I’m sorry.” Charlotte turned back to the young lady. “I was just thinking.”
“I’m sorry. I tend to overstep my boundaries. I won’t keep you longer. You have a full day ahead of you, and you’ll need your rest. Good night—and God bless.”
“Good night.” Charlotte opened the door and allowed Miss Palmer to exit. She closed it and leaned against the hard surface. The last time she stood this close to a door, Abram had been on the other side, begging her to listen and understand...and forgive. Fear had prevented her from hearing the truth—but the truth was that he deserved to stand on his own and to not be judged by other people’s mistakes.
She had been unfair to Abram and she owed him forgiveness and trust.
But was it too late?
What would Abram do if she went back to Little Falls? Would he tell her to return to Iowa City? Or would he tell her she was enough for him?
There was only one way to find out—but it would require taking the greatest risk of her life.
Chapter Twenty
Abram stood back and surveyed the outside of the schoolhouse in the dying light, but found no joy or sense of accomplishment in his work. He wished Charlotte could see the building completed—but as soon as the thought struck him, he forced himself to think of something else.
His mind had dwelled in a vicious cycle for the past five days. He promised himself he wouldn’t think about Charlotte, or mourn for his sons, but everywhere he looked he was reminded of each of them in little ways. As soon as he began to think about them, he wondered how far they had traveled and if they had met with any problems along the way.
If he didn’t think about where they were, or how they were doing, he replayed each moment of his time with Charlotte, revisiting their dance and the evening of the storm, before the dam had washed out. He thought of her standing in front of the stove, flipping flapjacks and tapping her toes to a lively tune. He thought of her sitting in the rocker, near the fireplace, knitting needles in hand. He thought of the joy on her face when she’d received the book of sign language, and then her patience in teaching Robert how to communicate.
He thought about a hundred precious moments, and each time he did, it was as if he was adding one more delicate snowflake to a branch laden with snow, about to break under the heavy weight of its burdens.
And then he would stop himself and try to forget all over again.
“I think it’s a right fine school,” Caleb said as he gathered together their supplies. “I should have the floors installed on Monday, and Milt and Josiah are working on those benches.”
Abram sighed and picked up a scrap board. “I don’t know if we’ll have a teacher yet this fall—”
Caleb stood straight, his gaze riveted across the street. Abram glanced in that direction and found a charming young woman with blond hair walking their way.
She crossed the street, holding up the hem of her pink gown. “Is this the schoolhouse?”
Caleb took off his cap and grinned like an idiot.
“It is. How may I help you?” Abram asked.
“Are you Mr. Cooper?”
He nodded.
“You’re just the man I wanted to find.”
Abram glanced at Caleb, surprised by her admission. “What can I do for you?”
“I’m Miss Helen Palmer.” She paused, as if her name alone should be introduction enough, but Abram couldn’t place her.
“
The new teacher,” she said with a giggle in her voice.
Abram’s mouth slipped open. “But I thought you refused the job.”
She laughed and it sounded like tinkling bells. “All of that has changed. Do you still need me?”
“I’d say we do.” Caleb grinned.
Her cheeks turned a becoming shade of pink.
“Yes, of course,” Abram said. “Welcome to Little Falls.”
“Since it’s getting late,” she said, “I thought I had better find a place to sleep, so I left my trunk at the Northern Hotel.”
“That’s not necessary.” Abram wiped his hands on his trousers and offered to take her carpetbag. “You’ll be rooming with the Hubbards. I’ll show you there myself.”
She tilted her head back toward the south. “The stage driver delivered several packages to your home. I imagine you’d like to go and see what they are.” She offered Caleb a smile. “Maybe this young man can show me the way to the Hubbards’ home.”
Caleb’s ears turned red and he dropped all his tools in a pile by the schoolhouse door. “I’d be honored, Miss Palmer.”
Packages from the stage? Since Little Falls was now an established village, Hubbard served as the postmaster, so all packages were delivered to him. Why would Andrew deliver packages to Abram’s house?
“Packages, you say?” Abram crossed his arms and leaned back on his heels. “Do you know what they might be?”
Miss Palmer batted her eyes and shook her finger. “I do know what they are—but I promised not to tell.” She lifted her bag toward Caleb. “Are you ready?”
Caleb took her bag in one hand and put out his other elbow for her to hold. He nodded like a schoolboy trying to impress his teacher. “Yes, Miss Palmer.”
“Good day, Mr. Cooper. I plan to start school one week from Monday, so spread the word.” Miss Palmer practically pulled Caleb in the direction she wanted to go and sashayed down the street on his arm. Several men stopped their work and many called out to her from the tops of buildings and the inside of passing wagons.
Abram stood for a moment, trying to think of what could be waiting at his home. Caleb’s tools were lying on a pile, where anyone could trip over them, so Abram took them inside the building and picked up the remaining boards and stray nails.
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