by Maura Seger
"We should have known better," muttered a grizzled warrior. "Normans have no honor. They'll betray anyone."
He said it loud enough to be heard by the crowd, who nodded in agreement Roanna flushed at the insult, but remained prudently silent as she was led to the front of the vast room where Colin waited.
The urge to shake off the guards and demand to know what was going on almost overcame her. Only the implacable, brooding look in Colin's eyes stopped her.
He stood with his legs planted slightly apart and his arms crossed over his massive chest So large and solid was he that he looked like a huge rock no force could ever topple. She was hard pressed to reconcile this with the gentle, considerate man she knew.
"My cousin is dead at your brother's hands," he announced abruptly. "All guarantees of your safety are ended."
Roanna whitened in shock. Her stomach lurched sickeningly. Painfully aware of the condemning glares from every side of the hall, she only just managed to hide her horror.
"I do not believe you. My brother is a man of honor who has never betrayed his word. Your charge is false."
A gasp rippled through the gathered men and women. Surely such effrontery would be dealt with in the harshest possible way? They leaned forward, eager to see what their lord would do.
The color had left Colin's cheeks as abruptly as it did Roanna's. Grim-faced, they stared at each other. Treacherous admiration rose within him as he considered her extraordinary courage. Here was a woman any king or prince would be proud to call his own.
He could think of no man who would dare to confront him so resolutely, let alone a woman whose more vulnerable body made her an easy target for the most brutal revenge. For all the concern Roanna revealed, she might have been standing in her brother's keep surrounded by loyal knights pledged to protect her.
Realizing at last the vivid interest of their audience, Colin moved swiftly to ease the tense situation.
"You have heard what has happened and you see that the Lady Roanna is still among us to pay for her brother's crime. When the matter of punishment is decided, you will be informed. Until then, return to your tasks."
There was a brief mutter of discontent from those most anxious to see blood shed, but many gathered in the hall found themselves remembering how much the Lady Roanna had helped them and how smoothly she had adapted to their ways. Faced with the prospect of seeing her suffer, they were not eager to linger.
It took only the slightest prodding from the men-at-arms to clear the hall before they too discreetly vanished. Colin and Roanna were left alone in the vast, echoing chamber, confronting each other across a space of several feet that might have been miles.
For a long moment, she studied him in silence. The days they had spent together had revealed so much that she could only marvel at her earlier misconceptions about him.
The man she once thought of as a marauding barbarian was in fact the epitome of everything she had ever hoped to find in a lover, friend, and husband.
The silvery eyes that at first glimpse seemed to glitter with deadly intent were actually the windows to a highly complex and intelligent mind. The rugged features that had appeared the skilled but unfinished product of a master sculptor revealed rare strength and resolve. Even the huge, infinitely masculine body that so stirred her possessed, upon more careful scrutiny, a certain vulnerability that made her long to reach out to him.
But the gulf between them was still too great, and growing larger by the moment Unless she acted quickly, they might well be lost to each other. Even if, as she suspected, he returned her interest, his cousin's death made it even less possible for them to observe the usual proprieties between a man and woman. Some other way had to be found.
The half-formed plans that had occupied her thoughts over the last few days abruptly coalesced into firm intent He was the only man to master her heart; she would not give him up without a struggle.
Quietly, Roanna asked, "Do you intend to kill me?"
The blunt question so calmly voiced stunned Colin. There were depths to this woman he had only begun to glimpse. Hiding his horror at the mere thought of what she dared to express, he hedged, "I have the right"
"Only if my brother has done as you charge. I know he has not"
"You cannot know that You were not there."
Roanna remained stubbornly insistent Though her skin was ashen and her knees trembled, she appeared utterly confident. "I do not have to see what happened to know the truth. My brother is a man of honor. Moreover, he would not willingly endanger me for any reason."
The certainty with which she spoke of her brother angered Colin. Though he had never met the man, he thought him unworthy of such esteem. Further, he found himself unaccountably jealous of what was clearly no more than a normal brother-sister relationship.
Angrily, he reminded her, "You could have been freed days ago if he had been willing to release my cousin. Instead, he left you here and killed him."
Even this did not shake Roanna's confidence. "He left me here because he wanted an opportunity to negotiate with you, not just about your cousin but about all manner of mutual concerns."
Quietly, she added, "If you were interested only in your cousin's release, why did you agree to talk? The exchange could have been made without you and my brother ever meeting."
A gleam of respect shone in Colin's silvery eyes. It was impossible to put anything over on her. He was foolish even to try.
"It is true your brother and I face certain common problems. This seemed a good opportunity to discuss them."
"Understanding that, you still believe he would throw away both my life and the chance of an accord with you simply to punish a drunken poacher?"
"Men do not always act rationally," he reminded her, believing he spoke from personal experience since his behavior of the last few days had been anything but rational.
"The only time my brother has behaved with less than perfect reasonableness is around his wife, whom he loves to distraction." She could not resist the impulse to add, "Brenna is English, as you may know, yet their devotion to each other surpasses all other considerations. They have not allowed the sorrow of Hastings to dim their happiness."
Challenged by her words, Colin growled, "You speak lightly of Hastings, without knowing anything of it beyond the gloating stories of Normans."
"I know far more than that," Roanna insisted. "Both my brother and sister-in-law were there, and they have told me of it"
"Your sister-in-law?" Colin could not hide his dismay at the thought of a woman on that blood-strewn battlefield.
"She went there seeking her husband after they were separated before the invasion. Perhaps some day I will tell you their story ... if I have a chance to do so." Summoning all her courage, Roanna reminded him, "You still have not said if you mean to take my life."
The question was deliberately provoking. She was daring him to confront feelings that were still new and unexpected enough to be threatening. Colin found it difficult to meet her eyes. Never before in his life had he shied from a challenge. But in this case, with this woman, he found himself curiously unwilling to accept the truth.
"My people expect me to exact revenge."
Roanna paled a bit more, but did not give way. She continued to face him determinedly, her slender body held straight and firm, her features composed. Only the slight tremor of her rose-hued mouth betrayed her trepidation. Deep inside, she understood the time had come for a final, desperate gamble.
"Then if I am to die, I have a favor to ask first"
The pretense had gone far enough. Colin could not bear for her truly to believe he meant to harm her. About to assure her she had nothing to fear, he was abruptly and shockingly forestalled.
"I do not wish to die a virgin."
The cavernous spaces of the great hall must somehow be distorting sounds. For a moment it had sounded like she said . . .
"Did you hear me?"
"No," his voice grated sharply even on his own
ears. "I don't think so."
Roanna sighed. It was going to be even harder than she had thought. But not all the embarrassment in the world would make her turn back now.
"Surely you understand how I feel," she ventured softly. "I do not wish to leave this life without experiencing what is reputed to be one of its greatest joys."
Colin could feel the heat rising in his face, matched by the sudden acceleration of his heartbeat. Her frankness stunned him as much as the burgeoning possibility that the desires which had tormented him since their first meeting might not be his alone.
"Do you truly understand what you are saying?" he demanded, grimly pleased that he managed to keep his tone harsh when everything inside him was exploding with exhilaration.
Drawing on a legacy of courage stretching back generations, Roanna managed to meet his eyes. If he wanted it spelled out so be it.
"I am saying that I would like you to make love to me.
The words out their full impact struck her. She was violating every moral teaching of her upbringing because of this man who had so inextricably entered her heart and mind. To have him also in her body, she was risking all. If he scorned her, everything vital in her would shrivel and die.
"I have shocked you," she blurted hurriedly. "I can see that. But it doesn't change anything. There is no point in saying more."
With the last vestiges of her pride, she managed to walk calmly from the hall. Not even the perplexed stares of the people who saw she was unguarded made her hesitate as she concentrated solely on reaching the privacy of her chamber. If Colin did not come to her . . . No, she would not think of that. She would think only of how it would be when they were at last together, free of all that had so far kept them apart
The serving woman hesitated when Roanna asked for hot water to bathe, but despite what the woman knew about the sudden deadly turn of events, she could think of no reason to deny the request. Especially when the young girl had long since earned her affectionate regard.
When some of the other servants grumbled at the task, she reminded them of how hard the Lady Roanna had worked to help them. The prompting was enough. Complaints ceased as buckets of steaming water were poured into the wooden tub set in the center of the bower.
With hands that trembled, Roanna pulled off her clothes. She had no idea how much time, or how little, she might have, but her own impatience made it impossible to delay.
Pinning her hair up, she rapidly soaped her slender form, lingering for a moment on the gentle swell of her breasts as she thought of Colin's touch there. Her nipples hardened reflexively. Breathing deeply to still the rapid beat of her heart, she dried herself swiftly on a soft length of wool.
Before she slipped a thin silk gown over her head, she considered herself critically. For the first time she wished she conformed more closely to the traditional standard of beauty.
Her hair was far too golden and lustrous to match the silver gilt tresses celebrated by troubadours and love-stricken young men. Her skin, warmed by the sun and touched by a smattering of freckles, bore no resemblance to the alabaster purity every lady was supposed to possess. Her eyes were too large and the wrong color, she thought regretfully. And her full mouth did not look at all like the small, pale lips poets sang of.
Above all, her body distressed her. Though a lifetime of healthful exercise had kept her slim, she had not the slightest chance of being mistaken for one of the wand-like creatures praised as the height of female grace.
Her breasts were too large, her waist too sharply indented, and her hips too rounded. There was nothing insubstantial about her. Nothing that evoked the spiritual thoughts held to be the only truly worthwhile consideration of man. Instead she was vibrant with the promise of sensual delights.
Would Colin find her wanting? Would he be displeased by her earthy curves and the hungry demand of her body she could not conceal?
Consolation came with the thought that he had already seen her unclothed. Surely if he did not desire her, he would never have kissed her as he had or allowed her to leave the hall without firmly rejecting her outrageous request
Honesty forced her to admit she hadn't really given him a chance to say no. Perhaps he was even now shaking his head over her extraordinary immodesty before going off to his own bed, not necessarily alone.
Anger brought an added glow to her high-boned cheeks. She had seen the appreciative looks of certain serving girls following him as he trained with his men or worked around the stronghold. There was no doubt he was a man of healthy appetites and, she suspected, considerable skill. The girls' fond smiles were enough to confirm that. Perhaps one of them was being invited into his bed at that very moment . . .
Jumping up, Roanna paced back and forth across the small chamber. Unexperienced though she was, she would fight any woman for Colin Algerson. But how to get the chance? She could hardly go in search of him and make her intentions obvious to all. Instincts old as time warned that she had gone as far as she possibly could. Colin might be angered or flattered by her starting request, but if anything more was to happen between them, he had to take the lead. For both their sakes, the next move had to be his.
Admitting this, the thought that he might take another woman to slake the desire she was certain she had seen in his silvery eyes enraged her. Her pacing grew more anxious as the moment passed.
Outside the bower, Colin paused. He had nurtured the half-hearted hope that she would forget the whole crazy idea and go to sleep. But the light he saw burning through the narrow window and the shadow cast by a slim figure moving back and forth told him she had not.
Sighing, he girded himself for what was easily the most difficult task of his life. Men had been canonized for less, he thought grimly, as he knocked on the heavy wooden door.
Not waiting for Roanna to answer, he opened it and slipped inside. His people were curious enough without learning of this meeting. Not until the bolt was slipped into place behind him did he turn to confront the girl who had stopped stock-still at his entry.
Such was her nervousness that it was just as well Roanna had no idea of how she looked. Her pacing had restored her hair from its anxiously combed perfection to its usual tumult of glistening waves. The glow of the braziers behind her shone through her thin gown, turning it almost transparent
Colin was painfully aware of the dark, inviting crests of her full breasts, the tiny span of her waist, and the enticing thrust of her hips and thighs shadowed by a golden triangle.
Swallowing hard, he reminded himself that he was a chieftain and a warrior, it was unthinkable that a woman should make him lose control. Determinedly ignoring the urgent pulsing of his loins, he forced himself to recall why he had come.
"Roanna," he began gently, "I cannot have you thinking that I intend to do you harm. If my cousin was killed, some punishment will have to be exacted, but you will not be involved."
A surge of deep pleasure ran through her. He was everything she had believed and then some, even if he was a tiny bit gullible.
Daring greatly, she took a step toward him. The time for pretense was gone. However he reacted, he had to know the truth.
"I never thought you would harm me, Colin. Although you believe you have the right, perhaps even the obligation, you are far too gentle a man to hurt someone weaker."
All the color fled from his features, only to come rushing back as he began to suspect the meaning of her words. "But then, why did? . . ."
Another small step further narrowed the distance between them. He became aware of the scent of her skin, lilac mingling with spice. His senses swam dizzily as he grappled with her astonishing revelation.
"There is so much hatred to separate us," Roanna said softly, "and so little to bring us together. Yet I find I cannot bear the thought of being apart from you. I don't understand what is happening to me, but I do know that in these few days since we met you have become as necessary to me as air or water. I do not want to lose you."
The admission made,
Roanna fell silent. Her eyes lowered, missing the vast wave of love and tenderness that swept over Colin. As she waited, hardly daring to breathe, he took the last few steps needed to bring him to her side.
Suddenly overwhelmed by the immensity of what she was doing, Roanna looked up fearfully. "Do not mock me."
A short laugh broke from Colin. It was himself he mocked for his total inability to master the situation. His hard mouth touched hers tenderly as he murmured, "I can do nothing but cherish you."
There was so much she wanted to say; that he should not think badly of her boldness, that she did not expect any commitment from him. But the words died in her throat as Colin bent toward her.
The world became a place of shimmering flame and rippling sensation. Unlike the first time he had kissed her, this time he held nothing back. All the vast need he at last admitted to was poured into his caress. He wanted nothing so much as to immerse himself in the sight, scent, and touch of what seemed the other half of himself for which he had searched all unknowingly throughout his life.
Roanna trembled in the massive arms that held her so protectively. The warm stroking of has tongue inside her mouth roused her to almost unbearable pleasure. The rampant yearning of his body communicated itself unmistakably. Huge hands slipped down her back to cup the firm curve of her buttocks, urging her against the proof of his desire.
Tension unlike any she had ever known uncurled in her loins. Her thighs burned and above them, in the secret place of her womanhood, she felt herself grow hot and moist Surprise spiraled through her. There were forces in her she had never before suspected, which were only now awakening to full, demanding life.
With her body clasped intimately to his, Colin waged a last futile battle with himself. Every particle of conscience he possessed told him he must put her from him. Every primitive drive essential to the sustenance of life told him that if he did so, he would perish. Never, not even in the fury of battle when death was a constant specter at his shoulder, had he been so single-mindedly determined to survive. Without her, all honor, pride, and purpose dwindled to insignificance.