I have five left and I know that they should have lasted me at least another week but the pain is just too much, I can’t function without them at the moment. Once the wound is healed, I’ll be fine, I know that, but right now, I need to take two more.
I twist the lid off, pouring two into the palm of my hand and bringing them to my mouth, swallowing them down with a good glug of water and then resting my back against the counter.
My eyes close as the relief sets in, knowing that I’ll be fine, that in about fifteen minutes my arm won’t hurt a quarter as much as it is now and I’ll be back to my normal self, well, my new normal self.
“Kitty?”
My eyes spring open at the sound of Evan’s voice.
“Hey,” I croak.
“You okay?” he asks, sitting down at the small table and chair.
“Yeah,” I tell him, walking over and sitting down opposite him. “I’m good, just needed some water.”
I hold the bottle up and push my pills back into my pocket discreetly. My mind already planning how to get more. I have a checkup today, hopefully they’ll give me some more.
“You need a ride today?” he asks, a smile on his face.
My eyes flit over his face, trying to see if he’s trying to get at something else. Why would he offer to give me a ride? Why doesn’t Charlie want to take me? I mean, he stayed at my place again last night, is all this too much for him? Maybe it’s bringing back memories for him? Maybe—
“Kitty, calm down.” Evan’s hand covers mine and I startle, my eyes flicking to his and staying there. “I’m heading that way today, I have to meet with Geena, I just thought it’d kill two birds with one stone, ya know?”
My head nods slowly, my heart slowing from its erratic beat as I calm down, realizing that I was jumping to conclusions.
“O-okay.”
He grins, his whole face changing with the action and stands up, holding his hand out to me.
“Let’s play a game.” He smirks. “The options are… me, Luke, and Charlie. Kill, kiss, and marry.”
“Really, Evan? You wanna play my game with me, eh?” I chuckle.
Shaking my head, I put my arm through his and walk out of the kitchen, smiling at him trying to cheer me up.
“What?” he asks, his brows flying high on his head and a look of shock on his face. “Why can’t I play it?” He jabs his thumb at his chest.
“Cuz thems the rules,” I retort, patting his arm and taking my place back at the meeting table. Ty is in the middle of talking about his latest case and I try my hardest to listen to him, but when my eyes meet Charlie’s, I know that’s not going to be possible.
His brown eyes darken as he watches me, his hand stroking his jaw and I can almost feel the way the stubble would feel if that was my hand. How it’d be rough against the pads of my fingers but soft at the same time.
My fingers itch with wanting to touch him, to grab him and weave my fingers through his brown hair, hair that is so soft it’s almost unnatural. I squeeze my legs together, trying to relieve the feelings that I have brewing inside and his lips lift up on one side. He knows exactly what he’s doing.
“Charlie? Anything on your end?”
He whips his head to the side, looking at Ty. “Huh?”
Boss raises a brow at him and asks again. “Anything on your end?”
“Ahh, erm… we have a few leads we’re following. I’ll let you know if we get anything.”
Ty huffs out a breath and then turns to me. “Checkup today, right?”
“Yeah.” I smile. “Evan’s taking me.”
“Good, let me know what they say.” And with that, he pushes up out of his chair and makes his way to his office, Kay and Luke following him, leaving just me, Charlie, and Evan sat at the table.
“I’ll go get the car,” Evan says. “Meet you outside in five?”
“Got it,” I say, giving Evan a thumbs up.
Charlie walks around to me, crouching down in front of me and gripping the armrests of the chair, his face shadowed in concern. “How you feeling today?”
“Better,” I answer, knowing that it’s a lie, not twenty minutes ago I thought I was going to pass out right here from the pain.
“You know if you’re not better, that’s okay, right?”
“I know,” I say, gritting my teeth to stop myself from saying anything else. I don’t want to worry him with me not feeling better, he already has enough on his plate. “I’m getting better and I’m sure the docs will see that. The sooner I can get back out there, the better.”
His eyes scan my face, moving down to my arm and then back up again. “Are you sure you want to get back on the job so soon? Why don’t you take some time, rest up.”
“The fuck?” I push my chair back with my legs, standing up, my temper flaring to life. “Just because you stayed at my place last night, doesn’t mean we’re anything more than we’ve always been, Charlie. I’m just here for you to get your rocks off, remember?”
I walk away, leaving him still crouched there with a stunned look on his face. I know it was a bitchy thing to say, but he doesn’t get to tell me when I should or shouldn’t go back to work. This job is my life and I’ll be damned if he thinks he’s going to tell me what to do.
Waiting rooms suck. They’re full of sick people and I swear I can see the germs floating toward me, trying to get inside my body and wreak havoc. It takes everything in me not to bring my top over my mouth and nose to stop them from getting to me. Whoever thought it’d be a good idea to stick all the sick people in one room was a douche.
My leg bobs up and down, twenty minutes I’ve been waiting now and still I haven’t been seen. What’s the point in giving you a time for your appointment when you’re not seen at that time? But if I was to turn up a couple of minutes late you can bet your ass they’d say I can’t be seen and tell me to rearrange it.
“Katherine?” I take a deep breath and look to the doctor calling my name. Thank God for that.
I follow him down the hallway, huffing as I go and dragging my feet as he walks faster to his room. He waits at the door for me to enter and I walk past him then past the cot that sits against the wall and to his desk.
“Take a seat,” he says, extending his arm to one of the pleather seats.
“Thanks,” I say, my voice curt as I sit down and place my hand in my lap.
“So, how’s it healing?” he asks, looking down at the tablet in front of him and then raising his eyes to me.
“I thought that was your job to tell me,” I answer smartly, making him chuckle.
“Well let’s take a look at it and then go from there.” He taps away on his tablet and then stands up, waving his arm to the cot and following me as I jump up on it.
He closes the curtain, staying on the other side and says, “If you take your top off then let me know when you’re ready.”
I take a deep breath and pull my t-shirt over my arm, leaving it over my chest so that I’m still covered then calling out to tell him I’m ready. I wonder if he’ll mind the fact that my armpits are like a gorilla’s? Who knew that shaving was so difficult when you have one less arm to help.
I snort at myself just as he comes behind the curtain, a brow raised at me. I smile and shrug, not about to let him in on my random thoughts and wince as he pokes and prods at the wound.
“It’s healing nicely, how’s the pain?”
“Painful.” I shrug. “I lost my bottle of pills so I haven’t taken any for a couple of days.” The lie rolls off my tongue with so much ease that it should scare me, but it doesn’t.
He tuts and crosses his arms over his chest. “You don’t have to suffer in pain, you should’ve called. I’ll prescribe you some more.”
The relief I feel is tangible, I don’t dwell on the fact that I lied so easily, or the fact that I’ve gone through twice as many pills as I should have in the last four weeks. Once it’s healed, I’ll be fine and back to normal.
He goes back to the other s
ide of the curtain, telling me I can get dressed. I grit my teeth, my arm throbbing from where he’s messed with it. The room spins slightly as I stand up and I have to hold on to the edge of the bed to regain balance before I walk back out to him.
“This is for another four weeks’ worth, after this, you should only need to take acetaminophen if you’re still in pain.” I nod my head in acknowledgement and reach forward slowly. “I’d like to see you in another month’s time, just to make sure you’re doing okay.”
“Great!” I smile, taking the prescription out of his hands. “Thanks, Doc.”
This time I do hold my t-shirt over my mouth and nose as I walk back through the waiting room. I hate sick people. Ugh.
I know that Evan won’t be back to pick me up for another hour, so I decide to take a cab home instead because waiting around here will just expose me to more sickness.
What I need is a nice long bath, to take a couple more pills and to have a nap.
My stomach tenses when I get into the cab, a tingling sensation drifting down my spine, almost as if I’m being watched. I spin around in the back seat, trying to see who it is, but I don’t see anyone so I settle back into the seat and fold up my prescription, making sure that it’s safe inside my pocket.
My eyes close on their own accord, the relief from having a prescription for more painkillers rushing through me.
I slump down in my seat, blowing out a deep breath and relaxing. It shouldn’t be too long until I’m back at the compound. I know I should really message Evan and tell him that I got a cab but all I can think about is the pain that’s now in my arm from the doctor prodding and poking me. I’m pulling out my bottle of pills and swallowing the last three before I know it.
“We need to stop at a pharmacy,” I tell the cab driver.
He grunts in response and I settle back down. My hand flutters to my arm, my fingers centimeters away from the bullet wound. The doctor was right, it is healing nicely but that doesn’t explain why I’m in so much pain. I really should have been honest with him and explained what was going on, but the words just wouldn’t come out of my mouth. All I could think of was getting more painkillers and I somehow knew that if he was aware of how fast I’ve gotten through these, he wouldn’t have given me anymore.
The cabby pulls up to the pharmacy and spins around, grunting, “Pharmacy.”
“I’ll be back in a few,” I tell him, pushing out of the cab and into the store.
I hand in the prescription and wait eagerly for the pharmacist to sort it out. My eyes don’t move from the clock hanging on the wall, watching the hands as the seconds tick by so slowly.
“Kathe—”
“That’s me!” I jump up, wanting to take the prescription out of his hands, but instead I have to wait impatiently for him to ring everything up and submit it. My foot taps against the floor while he takes his time, my nerves jumping on end and my eyes not moving from the bag he holds with my bottle of pills inside.
Finally, he hands them over to me and I head out of the shop and back into the cab.
I reel off the compound address to him then change my mind. I don’t want to go to the compound, I want to see Charlie. I don’t like how I left things with him this morning and I don’t want to be alone right now; when I’m with him I feel safe and secure. At least at Charlie’s I won’t be watched over or fussed about, I just want to get better on my own terms and not have to worry about anyone else or any jobs.
I tell the cabby to take me to the precinct instead and ten minutes later, he’s pulling up outside and I’m stumbling out of the cab, throwing some screwed-up bills at him and making my way inside.
“Can I help you?” the strange woman behind the desk asks. Her bright blond hair whips around in the high ponytail that she has as her bright red lips move into a grim line.
“Yeah, I’m here to see my… my…” What the hell is he? “Sergeant Mackenzie, I’m here to see him.”
“He’s busy right now, you’ll have to come back later,” she sneers, looking me up and down and spinning around in her chair.
I narrow my eyes at this Barbie doll and lean against the counter. “You’re new here, huh?”
“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” she huffs back.
I throw my head back laughing. This skank wants Charlie, that much is clear to see, hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s had her too.
“Here’s what you’re gonna do, sweetheart, you’re gonna pick up that phone there.” I point to the phone. “You’re gonna dial up to Sergeant Mackenzie and tell him that Kitty is here.”
Her eyes widen and for a second she’s gobsmacked, that is until she stands up, placing her hand over the handle of her gun. “Leave. Now.”
“Hey, hey, hey… all’s good,” a deep voice says from behind me. I turn to see Leroy come through the main doors and I breathe a sigh of relief. “What’s going on?”
He directs this at me but it’s Barbie who answers. “She came in threatening—”
“I did no such thing!” I shout at her and then turn to Leroy. “I just want to see Charlie and standing here isn’t helping me; my arm is throbbing like a bitch.”
His eye move down to my arm and then back up again as he tilts his head and punches the code into the door. My eyes meet Barbie’s and I smirk. Take that.
“Does he know you’re coming?” Leroy asks as we walk up the stairs.
“No, it’s a surprise.”
“Uh huh,” he chuckles.
My breathing starts to come harder and faster the more I climb the stairs and I sway a little as my bicep throbs so much that I can feel it all the way to my bones.
“Here, let me help you,” Leroy says, not giving me the chance to tell him I’m okay before he swings me up into his arms, avoiding jostling my arm, and carries me the rest of the way. I gasp in pain as I bob up and down in his arms with each step that he takes.
“What the—”
“Sarge? Kitty came to see you, she was a little unsteady on her feet.”
I’m passed from one set of arms to another, Charlie’s distinctive smell of musk and mint wraps around me, calming me in a way that nothing else ever has. My head rests on his chest as my eyes start to close and my breathing evens out, my pulse slowing down at being in his arms.
He walks forward then asks, “What are you doing here?” and closes his office door behind us. He balances me on the edge of his desk and moves to the windows that look into the pit, closing the blinds to block them out.
“I wanted to see you.” I smile, lifting my hand to his face and feeling his scruff against the palm of my hand. “I’m sorry about this morning.”
He leans down, planting a soft kiss on my lips and pulling back, his eyes swirling with emotion. “I’m not gonna be done for a few hours, but when I am, I’m taking you home.”
He picks me up, walks around his desk and sits down in his chair. I shuffle on his lap, my mouth turning down as I say, “I don’t want to go back to the compound.”
“We’ll go back to mine then,” he says.
“Okay,” I whisper, bringing my lips to his and then settling down on his chest.
My eyes are heavy from all the energy I’ve exuded today. I never thought that going for a checkup would take so much energy but I’m wiped and all I want to do is sleep, with Charlie’s arms around me.
Her face looks so peaceful as she sleeps, the curve of her lips moves slightly as her breath passes through them, her tongue coming out to wet them every so often. Her eyelids flutter as she dreams, her muscles jerking almost as if she’s trying to run away from something. I wish I could get inside her head and see what she’s dreaming about.
I could sit here all day and happily watch her sleep, but I can’t. I have work to do.
I frown as I think about her coming here to the precinct. She’s never come to me like this before and I can’t help but think that there’s something else going on. I know the main reason why she hasn’t come here in the pa
st is because I told her she couldn’t; that it had to be a secret. I’ll never forget the look on her face the day I told her that.
“Do you think your mom will like me?” she asks, trailing her hand over my naked chest as we lie in bed, catching our breaths after an epic sex session.
I grab her hand, stilling her movements.
We’ve been doing this for a few months now and although I know it isn’t anything serious, I don’t think I explained that to her. It’s not like I’m sleeping with other people, in fact, she’s the only one I’m sleeping with, the only one since Emmy. But I just can’t take myself to that place again, to the place where it’s possible to get hurt.
“I’m sure she’d love you when she meets you, but it won’t be because of me.” I push up off the bed, grabbing my jeans and shoving my legs through them.
“What? I don’t understand,” she says, sitting up and holding the sheet up to her chest.
“Look…” I run my hand over my face, as I drop into the chair opposite my bed. “This,” I say, waving my hand between us. “It’s fun, I like being with you, doing what we do, but it doesn’t go any further than this, it can’t. It has to stay a secret.”
“Why can’t it?” she asks, her voice taking on an edge.
“You’ll never understand, you can’t.” I jump out of the chair and storm out of the room, my muscles tense as I walk into the kitchen, grabbing a beer and twisting the top off. I won’t explain my life to her, I couldn’t explain it to her even if I fucking tried.
“If you actually fucking talked to me then maybe I would understand. Jesus, Charlie, what the hell is going on here?”
I turn around and narrow my eyes at her as she stands in the doorway.
“You want a relationship? Someone to take you on romantic walks and buy you fucking flowers? That ain’t me.” I bang my fist on my chest. “You wanna fuck? That’s me, and that’s all you’ll be getting, if you don’t like it, there’s the door.” I tilt my head to the door and watch as her hands clench into fists around the sheet before she storms back into the bedroom.
The Distance Between Us (Mac Security Series Book 3) Page 12