1 The Bitches of Everafter

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1 The Bitches of Everafter Page 10

by Barbra Annino


  “Peaches,” she croaked.

  “Excuse me?”

  Snow dried her tears with her apron and pulled away from Hansel. “I was going to make a peach pie. I forget the fruit.”

  Hansel’s brow wrinkled. “Fruit. For a pie. That’s the problem?” He said it as if he didn’t believe her.

  Snow nodded furiously, sticking to her story. “Yep. That’s it.”

  Hansel smiled. “Well that’s no problem at all. Come on, I’ve been wanting to show you this.”

  He grabbed her arm and yanked her through the back door. He practically ran all the way around to the other side of the house, dragging Snow along.

  “What’s all the fuss about?” she asked, breathless.

  Hansel stopped and pointed. “There. Look. Isn’t it gorgeous? They aren’t even in season yet. It’s like it grew overnight.” Hansel looked at Snow. “Around the time you arrived, actually. Isn’t it something?”

  Snow felt every nerve in her body tingle. She inched closer, mesmerized by the beauty, the colors, the bounty. It was drawing her closer, step by step, and with every step, her heart beat faster until it was drumming in her chest. Then she was standing directly in front of it.

  An apple tree. The largest, most beautiful fruit tree she had ever seen. Its leaves a more brilliant green than the grass beneath her feet. The fruit shiny, plump, and red as rubies. The trunk a rich cocoa color, and branches that reached out for yards like prickly fingers.

  Hansel plucked a piece of the fruit from a low hanging branch and tossed it at Snow. She caught it.

  And in that instant, everything changed.

  20

  Sleepwalking Beauty

  A jolt of electricity surged through Snow White. It felt like every fiber of her being was hypersensitive to the sights, sounds, emotions, and sensations of the world around her. Her head was spinning as if this land was trying to shake her off.

  Thoughts, images, and pictures, surged through her mind one after the other like a slide show, each more vivid than the last. Trees, a forest, a cottage, a glass coffin, the faces of forgotten friends—and old enemies. There was a crown—her crown, a castle she used to live in, a kingdom she once ruled. The man with the ax, the queen with an ax to grind, and the mirror that knew all of their deepest secrets.

  She remembered.

  Snow looked at Hansel. “Cut it down!” An order.

  Hansel cocked his head. “Excuse me?”

  Snow had to think fast. Here—wherever here was—she was no longer a leader, she was a criminal.

  “I, I mean, I’m allergic.” She backed away. “Maybe you could ask Granny if it can be removed.”

  She didn’t wait for his answer. She just turned and ran back toward the house.

  Punzie was still lounging by the pond. “Hey Princess, where’s the fire?”

  Snow realized she was still clutching the apple. She wound up a pitch and fired it at Punzie’s head.

  “Ow, dammit!” Punzie rubbed the back of her head where the apple smacked it. “I’m going to kick your ass for that.” She stood up.

  Easy, Snow. Tread lightly until you figure out what’s happening.

  She stopped. “Sorry, thought you’d like a snack. Just picked it. Didn’t mean to hit you.” Although she had.

  Punzie glared at her, but she must have decided it wasn’t worth the effort to chase Snow up the hill. She sat back down on the grass next to Bob. Snow watched the apple roll into the pond. There was a faint bubbling, a burst of water like a fountain, then it was gone.

  Snow slapped through the screen door. She ran down the hallway and up the stairs, anger boiling through her veins with each step.

  If her hunch was right—and as the appointed leader of the United Kingdoms of Enchantment, her hunches were usually right—then the woman in the room she was about to barge into had a lot of explaining to do. After all, she was the only one who had seemed to be even remotely in touch with her personal nemesis.

  The look on her face, her reaction when Snow pulled that wheel from the closet—that couldn’t have been a coincidence. She had to have felt something.

  Snow tested the handle. It wasn’t locked.

  She opened the door and several images hit her all at once. Aura asleep on her bed, a bandage around one finger. A spinning wheel—not the one from Granny’s forbidden closet, but another, sitting beneath the window. The window wide open, a blue jay perched on the sill.

  “No!” Snow rushed over to Aura Rose and shook her shoulders. “Wake up! Aura, wake up!”

  The princess didn’t open her eyes. Snow dashed to the bathroom, grabbed a glass of water and ran back to Aura’s room. She splashed it on her face, jumped on her chest, and slapped her. Hard.

  She raised her other hand just as Aura grabbed it.

  “If you hit me again, I’m going to throw you out of that fucking window.”

  Snow gasped. “You’re awake! Thank God!”

  “No, thank you, Snow. A bitch slap usually interrupts my sleep pretty effectively. What the hell are you doing?” Aura shoved Snow off of her and sat up. She looked at her shirt. “Why am I wet?”

  “I thought, I thought...the spinning wheel….” Snow wasn’t sure what to say. Had it happened to Aura too? The visions, the flashes. Did she remember who she was? Is that why she was so frightened of the spinning wheel yesterday?

  Aura got off the bed. “That was a gift from one of the Meals on Wheels clients.”

  Snow looked at her.

  “Old people.” Aura shrugged. “Always trying to get rid of crap they don’t need.” She laughed. But her voice shook as if she was nervous.

  Snow approached the wheel. She noticed the needle was taped over with paper towels.

  She turned back to Aura. “You remember, don’t you?”

  Aura averted her eyes. She shuffled to the door, closed it, and stuck a chair beneath the knob.

  She didn’t turn around for a long while and Snow got the suspicion that she was trying to compose herself.

  “I don’t know what you mean by remember, but something has been happening to me. Ever since I helped you clean out that stupid closet…I feel like I’m going crazy.”

  Snow said gently, “You’re not going crazy.”

  Aura began pacing. “I keep seeing things, hearing things…voices that aren’t there. And there’s this horrible woman who haunts my dreams.”

  Snow said, “Does she carry a staff and wear a black cape? With thorns?”

  Aura’s eyes widened. She stopped and stared at Snow. “How did you know that?”

  Snow could have tried to explain it, but it was clear to her that Aura wasn’t quite on the same page. Snow was the first princess. It stood to reason that she would be the first to see through the veil of this world, no matter who created it. She decided it was best to show Aura Rose who she truly was.

  Snow enveloped Aura’s hands in hers. “Aura, how did the wheel get in your room?”

  “Hansel carried it up for me. I was afraid someone would think I stole it, so I asked Hansel to bring it up to my room this morning.” She looked at Snow nervously. “I don’t even recall driving home. There was this…flash of light, a boom, and then I was here.”

  Snow couldn’t make sense of that. Some sort of power surge perhaps? Surely the wheel must have magic, as the apples seem to. Energy can be affected by it. Then Snow realized something. “Wait…you carried it to your car last night? Did you touch the wheel?”

  “Not the wheel itself. The woman who gave it to me had it wrapped up in a blanket.”

  So she hadn’t touched the surface. Snow had touched the apple with both hands. Touching the apple was never going to hurt her, but eating it would surely have killed her. So maybe, as long as Aura steered clear of the needle and touched just the wheel, her memories would return, as Snow’s had.

  “I need you to touch the spinning wheel with both hands.” Snow said.

  Aura shook her head, her lips pursed. “Uh-uh. No way.” She edged b
ackwards.

  Snow said, “Please, just trust me. Everything will be clear if you do.”

  Aura looked doubtful.

  “I promise you, Aura, if you do this, you won’t feel crazy anymore. You’ll feel relieved, strong.” And really, really confused, but why spoil the surprise?

  Aura considered this.

  Snow urged her on. “I’ll be right here the whole time.”

  When Aura didn’t move, Snow said, “You’ve stolen cars, you’ve beat up your parole officer, and you have the mouth of a miner. Are you really afraid of a piece of wood?”

  That did it. Aura made a face at Snow as she trudged forward. She put her hands up, then down, then up again.

  Snow had the urge to push her, but that wasn’t her style. Aura glanced over her shoulder.

  “You can do it,” Snow said.

  And she did.

  21

  The Better to Ax You With

  Judge Redhood had just settled down to watch her favorite picture show, The Wolf That Stole Her Heart, when she heard tires screeching outside. Fang lifted his head and growled. “Go back to sleep, Fang. I’m sure it’s nothing to be alarmed about. Probably just Tink reporting in for work.” Her assistant didn’t always come home on her evenings off and the judge never asked where she had been. She assumed the girl enjoyed camping.

  Fang grumbled, then rolled onto his back and closed his eyes.

  The judge heard the door bang open with a clatter. She got off the couch reluctantly to scold her assistant and to ask her to make a bowl of ice cream.

  When she arrived at the door, the judge saw Tink and Robin Hood standing in her foyer, each of them looking like something the wolf had dragged in.

  “What in the world? Tink, what happened to you? Your —” She almost said her glitter was gone, but she stopped herself in time. “I mean, you look upset.”

  The fairy’s shadow was detached too. It slumped to the side as if it had a broken...something.

  “I am upset. I was having a lovely dinner at the café last night, but that stupid Aura ruined it.”

  The judge brightened at this. “She did?”

  Robin Hood eyed the judge suspiciously, so she set her face to a frown.

  Tink said, “She came in to speak with Doc Bean and she ruined his dinner and my time with him.”

  Judge Redhood crossed her arms. “Is that so?” She looked at Robin.

  “Nothing illegal. And she was where she was supposed to be delivering a meal after that,” Robin said.

  Tink glared at Robin. “Nothing illegal? Well, then it should be a crime to curse and raise your voice to a pillar of the community.” She tapped her tiny foot and cast her gaze on the judge. “And she poured beer on his perfectly good turkey.”

  Robin said, “Again, not a crime.”

  The judge paced. Perhaps instilling the laws of this land rather than creating her own had been a mistake. It had seemed the best option should a native somehow crash through the barrier. There was no magic here, they made sure of that. Except for the minimal amount she brought with her and that was closely guarded. It was why they chose this land to banish the princesses in the first place. If there was magic, then the spell that had been cast from her own realm could be broken from within. And magic in the hands of the princesses would be disastrous, even deadly, for all of them.

  “Judge, did you hear me?” Tink asked.

  “What?” Redhood said.

  “I said I followed Aura. I think she was up to something.” Tink’s eyes grew even bigger. “Something sneaky.”

  Robin stepped forward. “Yeah, about that.”

  There was a mustard stain on his shirt and his hat was crooked. He was heavier than when the judge had been married to him, and he looked unhappy. Perhaps Marion wasn’t the perfect woman after all. Served him right. How dare he leave her! Everything she’d done, she’d done for their marriage. And he walked away just because of a few disagreements? All couples fight, for Pete’s sake. Perhaps not all wives shoot their husbands with a crossbow, but still. She wondered if he still had the scar. He didn’t limp here like he did back home.

  “I have a real problem with your assistant interfering with my job,” Robin said.

  The judge lifted her brow at Tink.

  Tink made a pouty face and crossed her arms. “Well he doesn’t seem to be too interested. He never finds them at fault for anything.”

  Robin shot a glare at Tink. “That’s because technically, they haven’t broken any laws. And frankly, young lady, you damn near did by interfering with my investigation.”

  Tink’s face grew so red, the judge thought smoke might blow out her ears at any moment. “Why, that is cockadoodle lie!”

  Robin rolled his eyes and said, “Judge, would you please have a word with her and make this stop? I gotta get home to the wife.”

  Something dark shifted inside the judge at the sound of Robin calling another woman his wife. She watched as the man who didn’t remember sharing a bed with her once upon a time turned to walk out of her house.

  She looked at Tink, full of fire and vinegar and gung-ho to find even the tiniest infraction that would send one of the princesses back to jail. And she made a decision.

  Robin was too soft. Too fair. Always trying to do the right thing no matter who it hurt. She hated that. “Mr. Hood,” she said as he was about to leave.

  Robin turned. “Yeah.”

  “You’re fired.”

  A look of shock swept over Tink’s pixie face. She made a mewing sound.

  “Come again?” Robin said.

  “Your services are no longer required,” said the judge.

  “Now wait just a damned minute.” Robin’s jaw hardened, his eyes blazed. “You can’t fire me.”

  Damn, but he was still sexy when he was angry.

  The judge cocked her head. “As an officer of the court, and the mayor of Everafter, I most certainly can.”

  Boy, was she glad she’d had the sense to implement her own hierarchy.

  Robin looked at Tink. Tink shuffled her feet on the tile as if she wished it would open up and swallow her.

  Robin slowly walked up to the judge and stood inches from her face. She could feel the heat of him. His anger leapt off his chest and penetrated her heart. It excited her in places where she hadn’t felt anything in a long time.

  In a low voice that made her insides squishy and her knees rattle, he said, “You know, I get the feeling this is personal for you. Why is that?”

  She didn’t respond. Didn’t even blink. She couldn’t. He had that kind of power over her when he was in this state of mind.

  Robin smiled ruefully and lifted his hat. “Well then, I guess I’ll never know.”

  It didn’t sound like a retreat. It sounded like a threat.

  Robin turned and tipped his hat to Tink. “Good luck, young lady. You’re gonna need it.”

  The cowboy walked out of the house and into the afternoon light. A wind gushed through the entryway and circled around both Tink and the judge. The door slammed shut, sending a shiver through Judge Redhood’s core.

  She stood there wondering if she’d just made a huge mistake.

  Tink said, “Do you want to hear my report?”

  22

  Welcome To Far, Far Away

  Snow watched as Aura slowly turned around. She studied her face, looking for some recognition. Come on, Aura. I know you’re in there.

  Neither of them spoke for several moments. Finally, Aura said, “What the hell happened, Snow? How did we get here?”

  Snow beamed, relieved to have someone who was sharing this experience with her. They had never been friends per se, but after the wars they had come together, all five of them, seeking to end the fighting, the pillaging, the loss of their people. The treaty they had signed in their own blood was mutually agreed upon and beneficial to all the lands. Snow knew in her heart of hearts that her fellow royal sisters couldn’t be behind this. The United Kingdoms of Enchantment meant everyt
hing to them. They had achieved what none of the royal families that came before them could. Peace.

  “I don’t know, but we need to figure it out and fast. We have to get back home,” Snow said.

  What damage had been done in their absence? And who would want to destroy what they had worked so hard to build?

  Aura nodded. “Agreed.” She looked out the window, her brow furrowed in concentration. “So what do we do in the meantime?”

  “I suggest we act as if everything is normal. I don’t know if the others know who they are yet. Best to wait and see. Then we can work on a plan.”

  Aura brushed her hair back. “So now what?”

  Snow looked at her. “I guess now we cook dinner.”

  “We?”

  Snow narrowed her eyes. “Yes. Do you take issue with that?”

  “I thought you said ‘act normal’. I never cooked back home, why should I start now?”

  “Aura,” Snow grumbled.

  Aura raised her hands in defeat. “Fine. But I don’t do desserts.”

  Snow said, “Yes, well neither do I tonight.”

  The former princesses of the United Kingdoms of Enchantment compared notes for a little while before heading to the kitchen to cook dinner. They discussed who in the town they recognized from Enchantment. There was Robin Hood, of course—longtime defender of citizen’s rights. Red Riding Hood, who somehow ended up a judge in this land, which, given her history, baffled Snow. Hansel, who had been betrothed to Cindy before her stepmother traded her hand in marriage. She wanted a place in high society and, unfortunately for Cindy, chose a Prince who turned out to favor men over women. Gretel, Hansel’s sister, whom the princesses had appointed to lead the royal army after she caught and captured three wicked witches and uncovered a plot to kill Snow White.

  Snow said, “Do you know who Granny is? I don’t recognize her.”

  Aura shook her head. “I don’t, but I tell you, something feels familiar about her.”

 

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