I looked down at my shaking hands and wondered what the fuck I was supposed to do now.
I couldn’t have the one person in the whole world I wanted most. I craved her blood. I craved her smart mouth. I craved her sweet laugh.
All things I’d never have again. All things I’d never deserved in the first place, but I’d taken anyway.
I let my arms fall to my sides as I stared up at the ceiling and closed my eyes.
This was what was best for her. I had to remember that. No matter what it did to me, the safest place for Charlotte was wherever I wasn’t. There was no denying that truth. There was no way around it.
It would never have worked between us, and now whatever we had was over.
For good this time.
Now all that was left was to drink until I couldn’t remember where the fucking hole in my chest came from.
Chapter 9
Charlotte
“I knew you were trouble–”
I slammed a fist onto my alarm clock radio and threw an arm over my face. “Not today, Taylor,” I mumbled. Those words just hit too close to home these days.
I’d been trying to get back onto a daytime schedule and it wasn’t going well. It probably didn’t help that I’d done nothing but cry the past three nights, but that couldn’t be helped.
Nighttime was when I missed him the most.
With a groan, I rubbed my hands down my face, noticing how puffy my eyes were and sighing in aggravation. “I told you not to cry last night,” I berated myself. “You have an interview today and now you’re going to look like a puffer fish.”
I laid there, silently lecturing myself on the foolishness of crying over men who didn’t deserve it when my phone rang.
“Hey, girl, what are you doing up so early?”
“Making sure you were awake for your interview,” Candace grumbled. She really wasn’t a morning person.
I rolled over in bed with a sigh and sat up. “Yeah, I’m up. Just working on getting out of bed now.”
“That’s the hardest part.”
I snorted. “No kidding.”
She yawned loudly. “So, what is this interview for again? Job or internship?”
“This is for a waitressing job at a brunch place downtown.”
“Brunch? Why brunch? Wouldn’t you make more money during the dinner rush?”
My lips thinned into a straight line as I tried to figure out a way to explain to my best friend that I was still afraid to go out at night. Despite my bravado, when I’d gone out with Matt and Tom last weekend, I’d spent the whole night terrified of who or what might find me. I knew intellectually that I should have been safe, but I wasn’t in a hurry to test out that hypothesis.
And damn it, I was so sick of being afraid.
“This place is hiring right now, so I figured I’d give it a try,” I said lamely.
“And you can’t get your old job back at the other restaurant?”
I lost the job she was talking about when I didn’t show up to my shift one day. I could hardly tell them I’d been attacked and almost killed by a vampire. They didn’t want my excuses anyway. I was just another body to take orders for them, and they’d filled my position that day.
“No, they’re not hiring right now.”
“And what about your internship?”
“Which one?”
She sighed. “Either, Charlotte.”
I knew when she said my full name like that, she was irritated. And I really couldn’t blame her. From Candace’s point of view, not much of what had happened in the past month made sense. I’d lost my job, lost two internships, and moved three times. She had to be wondering what the hell was going on with me, but there was only so much I could tell her.
“Well, I told you the first one I lost to someone’s relative, right?” I lied. It sucked, but I had to protect her. If that meant making shit up, then that was what I’d do. I’d never pull her into the dark hole I’d been dragged into.
“Yeah,” she said slowly.
“So that’s what happened with the first. And the second just didn’t work out. The… uh… work environment wasn’t a great fit for me.” I winced as I finished that sentence, knowing exactly how stupid it sounded.
But what was I supposed to say?
The vampire I was kind of sort of dating made an enemy out of another vampire and he took his revenge out on me?
When had my life become a monster soap opera?
Candace sighed loudly, and I knew what was coming next. “What’s going on with you, Charlotte? Is it this guy? Is that why you’ve changed so much?”
“How have I changed?” I asked defensively.
“The Charlotte I know has never been fired from a job. She’s never left an internship because of a not so stellar work environment, and she didn’t have a new apartment every other week. She also didn’t move in with men she just friggen met. Does any of that sound like the Charlotte Wakefield I grew up with?”
She was right, of course. I had changed. But that had been necessary. I’d had to adapt to my new situation quickly, or I might not have made it this far. But that was just something else I couldn’t tell her. Another lie I had to make up.
“Listen,” I said as I finally dragged myself out of bed. “Things have just been a little crazy since graduation–”
“Speaking of graduation,” she said, her voice stern. “The Charlotte I knew couldn’t wait to walk across that stage. Instead, you told me to get a refund on my bus ticket because you weren’t going. What the hell?”
I winced again. Graduation had been scheduled during the weeks I’d spent locked in Alexander’s apartment. I’d figured something as trivial as a graduation ceremony wasn’t worth the effort it would have taken. Not when I’d been busy focusing on things like not getting attacked and almost killed by another vampire.
How did I explain to her how far my priorities had shifted in the past month? How did I make her understand that I had much bigger things to worry about than a graduation ceremony? How did I let my friend back into my life when it was such a dangerous place to be?
“I didn’t go to my high school graduation either,” I reminded her.
“Yeah, but that was because you were afraid your dad would show up and make a scene.”
My stomach rolled just thinking about that man.
I shook my head. “Listen, it’s really not a big deal. I’ll get my diploma in the mail and that’s all that really matters.”
“Yeah, and where are they gonna send it, Charlotte? How many times have you moved lately? I don’t even know where you are now.”
I sighed. “It doesn’t really matter because it’s just temporary.”
She was quiet for a long time. “So, you’re moving again?”
I put her on speaker as I looked for an outfit to wear to my interview. “Yeah. I just looked at a couple places yesterday actually.”
“Charlotte,” she said, her voice as low and serious as I’d ever heard it. “What’s really going on? Is that guy the reason you keep having to move? Did something happen between you two?”
I squeezed my eyes closed as a wave of emotion washed over me. My eyes stung as my insides pinched tightly, causing sharp pains to radiate from my chest. It took me off guard because I wasn’t prepared for it. Usually I only had to deal with the intense longing when the sun set. But now Candace had brought him up, there was no escaping him.
“It’s not what you think,” I choked out.
“But you know what I’m thinking, right? If this guy hurt you in some way, I want to know.”
I’d never been hurt worse by someone, but that’s not the kind of pain she was talking about.
“He never touched me,” I whispered.
“There are more ways to hurt someone than physically, and you know that better than anyone.”
Another wave of emotion hit me, but this one was filled with anger and disgust. “It’s nothing like that,” I spat. I closed my eyes and tried to re
el myself back in. “Things just didn’t work out. He wasn’t ready for something serious, so I left.”
That was as simple of an explanation as I could give her. I hoped it would be enough.
She sighed softly, and I knew the worst was over. “I hate that you’re going through all of this alone.”
“I’m not alone. I have you.”
“You know what I mean. You’re all alone in that city. It’s not right.” She paused for a moment. “I think I’m going to buy another ticket to come see you. Work can do without me for a long weekend.”
Panic flared in my chest as I imagined dragging my best friend into the mess my life was in. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” I said, trying my best to keep my voice even. “I’m moving again soon, and things are just so crazy right now.” She was quiet, so I kept talking. “Maybe in a few weeks or a month when things settle down again.”
Or when I was sure there were no more vampires coming after me. Whichever came first.
She sighed again, and I knew she was disappointed. But keeping her safe was more important than keeping her happy.
“Listen, I gotta run before I’m late. I’ll give you a call later and let you know how it went, okay?”
“You better.”
“I will, I promise. Bye, bish.”
“Bye, ho.”
I hung up with a smile. I hated lying to her, but I was still so grateful to have her in my corner. I’d been overlooked a lot in my life, but never by Candace. I knew I could always count on her to check up on me. She’d been like a sister for years, and I was sure nothing could change that.
I hurried around the apartment, seriously worried about the time. I scarfed down a bowl of cereal and brushed my teeth before slipping into my most professional clothes and grabbing my purse.
I stepped out into the warm early afternoon sunshine and looked at the time on my phone. The quickest way to get to my interview would be a cab or car service, but I couldn’t really afford that.
I hadn’t worked in weeks and my bank account was suffering. I still had that money from the down payment on my last apartment, but I was saving it for the next one. That was much more important than the luxury of a car ride to my interview.
That meant I’d just have to walk it. Quickly.
I set off down the street at a fast clip, hoping I didn’t sweat my make-up off my face before I got there. That would just be my luck. Late and looking like a drowned raccoon.
I was just about to pass by a wide alley when I got an idea. I knew this neighborhood well enough to know that if I cut through there, I could shave at least a few minutes off my journey. It seemed like a no-brainer.
I kept up my fast pace as I scuttled through the alleyway, passing dumpster after dumpster and trying to ignore the little squeaks that came from them.
“Hey, bitch.”
I heard the greeting, but knew the man couldn’t be talking to me, so I kept walking.
“I said, hey bitch!”
This time I had a feeling he’d meant me, but there was no way I was stopping to find out what he wanted. I could see the busy street up ahead. All I had to do was make it another twenty feet, and I’d be safe.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” he said before grabbing my arm and spinning me around to face them.
I looked up at the man who’d detained me, noticing the scar notched into his dark eyebrow and the greasy mop of hair on his head.
“I asked you a question, bitch.”
I yanked my arm out of his grip and tightened my hold on my purse. “Who the hell do you think you’re talking to like that?”
He laughed, his eyes gleaming. “I’m talking to a bitch who’s about to lose her shit. Empty the bag.”
I clutched my purse tighter. There was no way I was giving up the last twenty dollars I had in there. “You need to leave,” I said, my voice somehow not wavering despite the fear trickling through my body.
“I’m not leaving without some cash. Fork it over.”
“I don’t have anything.”
He snorted. “Yeah, right. A pretty bitch like you? I bet you’ve got something in there I want.”
I took a step back, my hands cramping with how tight I was holding onto my purse. “I’m actually broke. I skip lunch most days and I’ve got a mountain of student loan debt I need to start paying back. I’m on my way to an interview right now because I’m unemployed. Honestly, you’re barking up the wrong tree.”
He watched me silently, the light in his eyes becoming manic. “Oh, I bet you’ve got something I want.”
Stark fear slithered through my veins as I recognized the look in his gaze. “I’ll scream,” I warned him, my voice finally shaking with the terror I couldn’t hide anymore.
He smiled wider. “I like it when they fight.”
We were frozen like that for a moment that had to have lasted years. The shark looking at the baby seal, knowing they didn’t stand a chance.
I knew I had one way out of this and that was to run.
I swung my purse at his face as hard as I could before spinning around and darting toward the street. His yell was muffled under my bag, but I could still hear his roar from close behind me. I pumped my arms and legs as fast as I could, but it wasn’t enough.
I was still at least ten feet from the street when he grabbed a handful of my hair and yanked me backward. I lost my balance, and he took that opportunity to slam me face first into the brick wall.
Pain exploded from my nose as a trickle of blood dripped past my lips. Before I could get my bearings, he spun me around and pushed me again, cracking the back of my skull against the wall.
“What do you keep in that fucking bag of yours, bitch? That shit hurt.”
Once I could see straight again, I reached up with both hands and dug my thumbs into his eye sockets. He screamed in pain and I kneed him in the crotch before running away again.
The whole world was still spinning as I just tried to make it to the street. I tripped over garbage bags and empty boxes as I staggered down the alley.
I had no warning before he tackled me from behind.
I fell too fast to break my fall, and my face took the brunt of the force. I knew my nose was broken by now and I had at least one black eye because it was already beginning to swell.
I wiggled out from underneath him and climbed to my feet. He was up seconds later, his fist flying toward my face.
His punch knocked me off my feet again, and I slammed my head against the asphalt. The edges of my vision started to darken as I struggled to stay conscious. “That’s for fucking up my face,” he yelled.
I rolled onto my stomach and dug my nails into the concrete as I tried to drag myself away from him, but he rolled me back over with the toe of his boot.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going? You still have to pay for hitting me.”
The ringing in my ears was so loud now, it drowned out the ever-present bustle of the city, and I knew I had only seconds left before I passed out. I inched my hands around my body, searching for my phone but couldn’t find it, and my vision was almost totally black.
And I was so tired. It felt like I’d never been more exhausted in my life. It trumped even the ache filling my head.
My eyes were closed, but I felt when he came closer. He leaned over me and slapped my face hard. “Wake up, bitch. I’m not done with you.”
I wrestled with my heavy lids, but it was a losing battle.
He slapped me again and my head lolled to the side. “Fuck!” he yelled. “Wake up, bitch. I don’t want to fuck you while you take a nap. Wake up and fight me some more.”
His voice was softer now, as if it were really far away. A sharp pain ricocheted through my ribs as he kicked me. “Not worth my fuckin’ time,” he mumbled, and then everything went black.
Chapter 10
Alexander
“NO!”
The scream was wrenched from my lips before I knew anything else. I struggl
ed to sit up, my body feeling like it was weighed down with bags of sand. I looked around the pitch-black room, trying to understand what was going on.
A wave of anger washed over me, but I didn’t know how or where it was coming from. I looked again, assuming there was some kind of threat my body was reacting to before my mind could catch up.
Next, icy cold fear coated my insides, leaving a thin film of sweat covering my body as my heart thundered in my chest. I put my hand over the racing organ and tried to get my foggy brain to work.
The heaviness in my limbs made it clear it was still daylight outside. I should be asleep for the day, so what the hell was I doing awake?
In the next instant, the fear was replaced by a blinding pain that almost took my breath away. I gasped as it spread from the top of my head to the rest of my body. It hurt, but almost in a second-hand way. Like I was just on the periphery of the pain, but not the direct recipient.
That didn’t even fucking make sense.
I searched the couch I’d passed out on until I found my phone. I tapped on the screen to get it to light up, but it remained dark and lifeless. That’s when I remembered I’d turned it off. Days ago.
With a groan, I wiped the grit out of my eyes and turned the damn thing back on.
I’d been in this bar for three nights with no plans to leave. Thankfully, they kept a safe, light-proof room available for those who couldn’t make it home in time. Or for assholes like me who didn’t want to go home.
When my phone finally loaded, I saw that it wasn’t even noon yet.
Again, what the fuck was I doing awake?
There had only been a handful of times in over five hundred years that I’d pushed myself to stay up through the daylight hours, but I hadn’t done that in a long time. And I sure as hell hadn’t done that today.
The hours I slept were the only ones that offered some kind of peace for me. It was the only time I didn’t have to think about what a miserable fuck-up I was. Or how easily I’d wrecked the first good thing to happen to me in centuries. Or how much I fucking missed her.
Another onslaught of pain raced through my body, and this time, I was alert enough to understand what was happening.
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