by Anya Byrne
He passed a single car on his way to his destination, and he had a brief moment when he wondered who the other driver was and where they were going. The thought dissipated like smoke in the wind, the ideas bubbling in the back of his mind chased away by heartbreak and loss.
He was better than this, he tried to tell himself. He didn't need to cower and hide. He hadn't done anything wrong.
And yet, here he was, having abandoned everything he'd known for years to take a so called vacation. If he allowed himself, he might even feel embarrassed about it.
But there was no one here to pity him or whisper behind his back. There was no one to give him knowing or perhaps accusing looks. When he finally reached the house, he parked and got out, knowing that this was truly what he needed, a haven away from everything that reminded him of his painful past.
The old-fashioned farmhouse was just as he remembered it, worn by time, but full of distant memories of better years. Once, Ward had thought he'd left it behind. Peter had always said it was ridiculous to cling to something so antiquated. In hindsight, perhaps that should have given him a clue about how things would turn out between them.
He wished he could say he'd known, but he hadn't, so he wasn't sure why he'd bought the house back after his mother and her sister had sold it. No, that wasn't true. He knew why. It had started with all the stories he'd heard about this place.
It was in no small measure because of his great-uncle, he supposed. Ward hadn't even known his grandfather's youngest sibling—hell, he was probably long dead by now—but he felt like he did. For most of his childhood years, the man had remained a mystery, since whenever Ward asked, his grandfather would get a dark, lost look on his face.
Ward had eventually stopped asking. And then, at seventeen, his mother had discovered him making out with the neighbor's son... To say that she hadn't been pleased was an understatement. Surprisingly, it had been his grandfather who'd come to his defense.
“I've had many years to think about this,” he'd said then, “and I realize how wrong I was. I lost two brothers to the war, but the other... I lost him to my own hatred and misconceptions. I won't allow anyone to treat Ward the way I treated Will.”
That was how Ward had found out the whole story about his great-uncle. His grandfather had laughed bitterly when he'd recounted how they'd all believed Will to have no interest in dating only because of his more scholarly inclinations. “He wanted to become a doctor, Will did,” the older man had mused. “He was so determined too. I never understood. My life was here, in Willow Cove, in the farm and in the land.”
“Do you think he made it eventually?”
Even after all these years, Ward still remembered the crushed expression on his grandfather's face. “No, Ward. I don't think he ever did.”
Later, Ward had learned that his grandfather had searched for his brother, even going so far as to hire private detectives. The man had disappeared into thin air, and by the time Ward had been born, his grandfather had been forced to admit to himself that he'd most likely sent his sibling to his death.
It was a bitter ending to a sad tale, but it was also part of Ward, and familiar in a way his apartment in New York no longer felt. As he stood there in the silence, staring at the structure, Ward wondered how his great-uncle had seen it. Had it also been a haven, or had it been a cage?
With a bemused scoff, Ward pushed back the thoughts crowding his mind. Over-analyzing himself was the worst thing he could possibly do right now. He needed action, something that would get his mind off his problems.
Predictably, the house was quite a mess on the inside. In the dim light coming from the windows, the sheet-covered furniture looked almost ominous. Ward's footsteps left trails on the dust covered floor. At least the electricity still worked, although when he turned on the light, the bulb flickered a little and nearly died. He'd have to get someone to look at it if there was a problem. He didn't want to accidentally burn the house—and himself with it—down because of a short-circuit.
Either way, for the moment, Ward had a lot of work to do. He'd actually been tempted to send someone ahead to at least start on it, but now he was glad he hadn't. God only knew he needed the distraction.
Nodding to himself, Ward pushed back the memories that had chased him to Willow Cove and went in search of some cleaning supplies. For the rest of the night, he almost didn't think of Peter at all.
Chapter Two
“Are you sure he'll be fine? Your... test came out clear?”
Andreas fidgeted, and the open show of nervousness in an enforcer would have been surprising if Mathias hadn't deemed it completely justified. “It wasn't only a test. I'm not sure how much Will explained of the symptoms, but basically I used my powers to regulate his blood pressure and made sure his liver and kidneys aren't in any way damaged. I won't lie. This is a difficult pregnancy, especially because of the multiple delivery, but I'm not going far, and I'm a phone call away.”
Andreas nodded and didn't ask Mathias to stay. Mathias couldn't blame the man. If circumstances had been different, he'd have preferred to remain at Jessie's side, but it would have been largely out of his own selfishness. With regular visits from Mathias and careful monitoring, Jessie would be just fine, and Mathias couldn't force his presence on the Lone Wolf Pack.
As he and Andreas spoke, Will emerged from the room and made a beeline for Mathias. “I realize you're uncomfortable with all this, Matt, but I'm sure we can arrange something. I'd much rather have you nearby, just in case. You know as well as I do that things can go downhill fast in a pregnancy such as this.”
Mathias couldn't argue against that. “What do you suggest?”
“Dean and I were thinking, and we spoke to the others while you were helping Jessie. Dean offered to go stay in Willow Cove temporarily. You can have our room, and I could share space with Jessie and Andreas, or Gavin and Saul.”
Gavin. That was probably Jessie's human friend. They'd moved so quickly Mathias hadn't even gotten the chance to do the introduction thing.
Mathias didn't really feel offended, since he didn't have any expectations here. Besides, he doubted they even meant it as a slight. Everyone seemed incredibly worried about Jessie, too much to allow for the regular meet-and-greet process.
Despite all that concern, Mathias couldn't take Will up on his offer. First of all, he'd promised Jessie that he wouldn't interfere in his parents' relationship again. Not only that, but he didn't think he could sleep in the same bed where Dean had likely claimed Will.
Just the same, the fact that Dean was even willing to allow it spoke volumes of how the Alpha felt about the situation. It couldn't have been easy for him and Will to agree to do this, especially since Dean had missed so much of Jessie's earlier years.
No, Mathias definitely couldn't take over their space. “Tell you what. I'll leave my things here, and I'll sleep as a wolf in the forest. It would be just for the night, and during the day, I'll stay here.”
Will's eyes widened. “I can't ask you to do that.”
“You didn't ask. I offered.” Mathias chuckled at Will's look of horror. “Relax, Will. I'm a werewolf-Sidhe hybrid, and I've lived longer than your entire family put together. This isn't the first time I sleep in the wild. In fact, I enjoy it.”
“I just...” Will rubbed his forehead, obviously torn. “I don't know how to handle all this.”
“I think we should start over, don't you?” Jessie suddenly said. They all turned, taken by surprise. Andreas went tense, ready to leap to his mate's assistance, but it wasn't necessary, since Jessie was in Dean's arms.
Noticing that he had everyone's attention, Jessie continued. “This has all been very awkward and awful, but it doesn't have to stay that way.”
Dean nodded. “I agree. We have the same purpose here, and I still owe you a great deal, Mr. Girard.”
Mathias couldn't find an answer to that. He might have tried a hasty retreat, but he didn't have the strength to withstand Jessie's pleading eyes,
or Will's concern and confusion.
That was how Mathias ended up half an hour later, seated in the small living room and surrounded by the members of the pack, with the exception of Andreas and Jessie. Everyone obviously knew his story, because there was a genuine degree of wariness in most of them.
Will didn't seem surprised, or taken aback. With a calm voice, he made the introductions. “This is my friend, Mathias Girard. He has agreed to help Jessie through his pregnancy, as I mentioned to all of you before. Matt, this is my pack. You've already met Gavin. The little tyke is his and Saul's son, Shannon. You might have heard of Finn, Dean's other son, and of course, his mate Parker. We have two other official members, Parker's friend Jensen, and his mate, Erdi, but they live in Willow Cove with Gavin's mother and brothers.”
As Will spoke, each of the mentioned men nodded at Mathias. Finn gave him a curious look, and Mathias suspected the man might have his own request for him, since his mate Parker was also quite visibly pregnant.
Despite this, it was the baby, Shannon, who broke the awkward silence that followed. He flailed a bit in his birth father's arms, reaching for Mathias with tiny hands.
Gavin rocked his son, trying to coax him out of his decision. When it didn't work, Gavin walked to Mathias's side and gently offered the baby to him. “He wants you to hold him, and I think you'll find he can be very stubborn.”
It was surprising that Gavin would do that, but Mathias couldn't possibly refuse. With a great deal of care, he took the tiny child in his arms. Almost immediately, he was invaded by a strange energy, one so intense it floored him.
The feeling was familiar, stirring the very same sensation he'd had when he'd first stepped into the house. No wonder he'd felt that way from the moment he'd come here. The tendrils of Shannon's power were wrapped around every inch of this place, and right now, they were reaching out to Mathias.
The magic reminded Mathias a bit of his grandmother, since it emanated the same welcoming warmth. “It's going to be okay,” Shannon seemed to be saying. “You're not alone anymore.”
Maybe Shannon was just a baby, but the purity of his affection soothed the sting of the less than enthusiastic welcome from the others. “You should have mentioned he had magic,” he drawled.
“To be honest, we don't know much about it,” Saul admitted. “Like Jessie, Shannon is a hybrid, and we've found that he has some sort of empathic ability. But we're not exactly sure how it works beyond the fact that he seems able to project emotions too.”
“He's quite remarkable,” Mathias said. “I suspect that by the time he grows up, he might rival a Sidhe in power.”
Gavin's eyes widened, a hint of distress in his gaze. Immediately, Shannon zeroed in on his birth father. Mathias handed the child back to Gavin, who took a deep breath and slowly calmed down.
“It's been a bit of a roller coaster,” Dean explained. “Even we, as werewolves, have been poorly prepared for some things that were thrown at us.”
Mathias could understand that. “Well, I will help in any way I can. I made a mistake at the Gathering. I can admit that, just as freely as I admit I'm not completely over Will. But you can count on me to assist you with this, and anything you might need.”
Shannon nuzzled into Gavin's chest, and Mathias decided it was time for him to leave the Lone Wolf Pack. “I'll come back tomorrow,” he promised. “With your permission, I could look over Shannon, as well as Parker.”
“Yes,” Finn said almost too quickly. “We'd appreciate that a lot.”
They each said their goodbyes, and this time, the words were clearly warmer and more welcoming than before. However, Will was the one to lead Mathias out. As they reached Mathias's car, Will leaned against the hood and stared up at the sky. Mathias waited, letting Will gather his thoughts. He was not disappointed.
When Will faced him again, his familiar, beautiful eyes seemed shadowed by confusion and hurt. "I think I wronged you, Mathias. I genuinely thought I was doing the right thing when I left, but I hurt you. In a way... I can't really say I'd do things differently if I could go back, but I'm still sorry for the pain I put you through."
"It's not your fault," Mathias said automatically. "I can't deny I regret it ever got to it, but you did the right thing for yourself and for Jessie. I missed both of you so much... It's my only excuse for what I did at the Gathering. You were already in pain and I just made you suffer more, and I can't forgive myself for that."
Will's fingers twitched, like he wanted to reach out to Mathias, but refrained at the last moment. "In the end, you did help us, and you saved Mathias from execution. I haven't forgotten that. But... It's also not easy for me to erase the mental image of you attacking him. I want to say 'water under the bridge', but I can't, not yet."
"I understand. I'll be patient. I hope to at least gain your friendship again."
Mathias retrieved a bag from the car with the barest of the necessities, and left everything else in Will's care. Will still seemed taken aback by Mathias's decision to sleep in the wild, but he didn't push Mathias to stay. As he headed into the forest, Mathias's heart felt paradoxically lighter, and more burdened.
He'd made a promise to Jessie and he had every intention of keeping it. Then why did this feeling of melancholy linger? Why did it pull him away from Will? What else was there here in Willow Cove?
Mathias rubbed his chest, but the ache refused to go away. Maybe the emotional roller coaster of the day had affected him more than expected.
The fresh air, the scent of wet leaves and the whisper of the wind helped, but only to a certain extent. Mathias's more beast-like instincts tugged at his insides, guiding him, nudging him forward. He stumbled onto a small cave of sorts, dug into heavy rock by time and the elements. Once he checked it didn't have any animal occupants, Mathias deemed it safe enough. He threw up a few wards that would warn other creatures from approaching and left his bag there. As quickly as possible, he slid out of his clothes and let the shift flow over him.
After all these years, the change came naturally to him, as effortless as taking a breath or twitching his fingers. Back when he'd been a child, he'd struggled a lot, because his magic rebelled against it, confused by the fundamental differences between man and beast.
With a great deal of training, he'd achieved a balance. It had cost him, and a part of him was still buried—but Mathias didn't want to think about that now. He reached for that same equilibrium in an attempt to soothe his wounded, confused heart. In seconds, he was on four paws, his awareness of the world around him shifting at the same time his flesh did.
In this form, everything always seemed so vibrant, so alive, so alluring. As a man, Mathias found peace in the forest. As a wolf, he sought freedom.
Following that impulse, Mathias shot out of the warded cave. He started to run, allowing his wolf and his magic to lead the way. He had no idea where he was going, but for once, he was happy to embrace it.
Chapter Three
For the better part of his life, Ward had woken up to the sound of traffic, messengers yelling and various alarm clocks. He'd actually been looking forward to the unavoidable change that would happen once he moved to Willow Cove, but he'd forgotten a very simple thing. To turn his cell phone off.
The shrill sound of his ring tone startled him from his trance of exhaustion. He woke up so suddenly he rolled off the couch and fell onto the floor with a thud. Groaning, he rubbed his sore back and blinked in confusion.
Oh right. He'd worked his ass off the night before. He hadn't actually managed to clean the entire house, of course, but he'd made good progress—well, until he'd finally collapsed on the couch.
His phone rang again, reminding him what had woken him. With a disgruntled sigh, Ward reached for the device, wishing he'd simply shut the stupid thing down, or better yet, left it in New York.
He was not surprised to see the caller was his sister's best friend. In a way, it frustrated him, but he couldn't quite bring himself to push away one of the few people wh
o didn't give him the cold shoulder. At a point in his life, she'd been the closest thing to family he'd had—another sister, in a way. Already dreading the conversation, Ward nonetheless accepted the call.
"Ward!" Vera said before he could even greet her. "Oh, thank God. I thought you'd done something stupid after the wedding."
Ward rolled his eyes, although in his heart, he knew he'd been in a pretty bad head space when he'd last seen Vera. "Like what? I'm not about to off myself for Peter, Vera. You know that."
The too-long pause at the other end of the connection made him gape. "Come on, Vera. Give me some credit."
"Sorry," she replied sheepishly. "It's not that. You just disappeared before the reception could end. Teresa is pissed."
"Yes, well, I don't particularly care, I'm afraid. She shouldn't have married my fucking boyfriend if she wanted us to be besties."
Vera sighed. "Ward. Don't be like that. Peter just isn't... Like you. You can't blame him for that."
Ward bit the inside of his cheek so hard it bled. Yeah, right. Peter had definitely enjoyed the two years he'd spent fucking Ward. Of course, Ward had been the stupid one to accept the secrecy, even if everything inside him rebelled at returning to the closet for anyone. He should have listened to his gut, but his treacherous heart had wanted to believe Peter's assurances and his charming smiles.
He realized Vera was still talking and he hadn't heard anything of the past few phrases she'd said. It was probably not too much of a waste, since it seemed obvious she wouldn't empathize with his plight. "You should let it go," she was saying. "Peter and Teresa are happy. You can't begrudge them for it forever."
"Actually, yes, I can," Ward snapped back. "Did you call just to try to dictate my emotions or do you actually have something interesting to say?"
Vera finally stopped her little rehearsed speech. "Where are you, Ward? I went by your place and your neighbor said he saw you leave. We're all worried."