by Sj Hooks
That was certainly true. How differently would I have turned out if my first sexual experience had been with someone sweet and understanding? I probably wouldn't have spent the better part of my twenties feeling apprehensive about being intimate before I finally gave up on the whole thing and became celibate. But it was pointless to think such thoughts, and now I had something that was so much better than a lot of notches on my bedpost. I had a wonderful girlfriend who made my heart sing and made my body quiver with carnal pleasure. Despite my previous failures when it came to women, it would seem that I had now achieved the greatest success I could think of: a loving, committed relationship, which was what I had always dreamed about in my solitary years.
"I'm sorry I dragged you up here," I said and kissed her forehead. "I just didn't want to see her again and I was worried what she might say. I'm pretty sure she told Matt how bad I was or he would have pestered me for details."
Julia shook her head.
"What a bitch," she said again. "You were nervous and she should’ve known better. I mean, she wasn't a virgin, too, right?"
"No, definitely not," I answered. "I guess she just used me and I was so stupid that I actually thought she might feel something for me."
"It wasn't stupid at all," she said and looked into my eyes. "She was the stupid one, Stephen. She could have had you and instead she hurt you. I hate that she did that to you."
"I hate your ex-boyfriend," I said with a small smile. "He shouldn't have treated you badly and he shouldn't have cheated on you, but I'm glad that you're not with him anymore. I'm glad that you're with me."
That was just about the biggest understatement I had ever made, but I didn't want to overwhelm her by professing my undying devotion and love just then. I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her gently.
"You make me so happy," I whispered. "I love being your boyfriend."
Julia surprised me by turning around to straddle me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I pulled her closer until my chest was touching hers.
"My Julia," I whispered just before her lips connected with mine.
It was the sweetest kiss we had ever shared. Our breaths mingled and our lips moved effortlessly together, convincing me that it was meant to be, that we were meant to be together. I was so in love with her that it made my heart ache, and each and every day I spent with her was an adventure.
Being with her had altered me so much and she made me feel truly alive for the first time. She accepted me for who I was and never once had she asked me to change. The positive changes in me had happened organically as she swept away the metaphorical cobwebs in my mind and in my heart. I felt young, happy, and excited about the future, and I knew that it was all thanks to her.
This sweet girl in my arms, who I had thought was so wrong for me, had turned out to be my salvation from a dreary existence without laughter, passion, or love. What would I have become without her? I would have been old before my age and never aware of how wonderful life could be.
I held her tighter to me. I needed to be closer to her. I needed to feel her skin on my skin.
As though Julia read my mind yet again, she started to yank her dress up around her waist and released my lips to pull it off in a fluid motion. None of us said a word as we quickly undressed each other. We both knew what we needed at this moment and it didn't matter that there was a party going on downstairs. Right now we needed to come together in the most intimate of ways. I moved back on the bed until I was leaning against the headboard and Julia followed, naked and flushed, with eyes that burned with desire. She climbed on top of me, and my lips and hands immediately sought her warm, soft skin.
"Stephen, oh God, Stephen," she sighed as I kissed, licked, and stroked her curves until she started rocking against me and I knew that she was ready to receive me.
She lifted herself up and we looked into each other's eyes for a beat before she lowered herself onto me slowly and we were finally one. Rather than moving immediately like she always did when she was on top, Julia sat perfectly still with her eyes closed. I reached up my hand and caressed her face. When she opened her eyes they were filled with emotion.
"Julia," I whispered. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"
She shook her head.
"Nothing. Nothing is wrong," she insisted. Her eyes swept over my face, as if she were searching for something, and finally gazed deeply into my eyes. She took my hand and held it in place over her heart, which was thundering away.
"Stephen, I…I love you," she whispered.
Before I could form a single thought, Julia's lips were on mine. She kissed me as though I was oxygen and she was suffocating, taking my breath away and making my heart gallop.
As quickly as the kiss started, she pulled her lips away from mine. I felt a rush of fear, thinking that she was going to panic like the first time she had told me she loved me. I kept a firm hold on her waist with my left hand to keep her from moving away from me. My right was still covering her heart. Feeling anxious, I looked into her eyes and instantly my fear was replaced by calm. Julia's gaze was a little wary but nowhere near panicked. She was standing by her profession of love and was waiting for my response.
"Oh God," I whispered. "This is it."
I finally get to tell her.
I took her hand and placed it over my heart, which was beating just as rapidly as hers under the palm of my hand. I drew a ragged breath and looked into her eyes.
"I love you, Julia. I love you."
Her lips curved up in the most radiant smile I had ever seen and her eyes sparkled.
"Tell me again," she whispered.
I'll tell you every day for the rest of my life.
"I love you."
"I'm not scared," she said, almost as if she couldn't believe it herself. "I love you, Stephen."
"I love you, Julia. I've wanted to tell you for so long. You’re everything to me."
She leaned forward and pressed her lips against mine. The kiss started out slow and I wrapped my arms around her to hold her even closer. Soon her tongue brushed against my mouth and I opened eagerly to grant her access while my hands moved up and down her back, gently caressing. I became acutely aware of the fact that I was inside her when she rocked slowly back and forth and desire rocketed through my body.
"Oh God," she moaned against my lips. "You feel so perfect inside of me."
I nodded and captured her lips in a passionate kiss before I moved my mouth along the curve of her jaw up to her ear.
"I love you, my sweetheart," I whispered.
Julia moved faster on me and leaned back on her hands so that I could see all of her. It was just like the first night we had sex, but now everything was a million times better. The physical pleasure was magnified because of our emotional connection, and while Matt had always insisted that there was no difference between sex and making love since the act was the same, I knew that he was mistaken. The first time Julia and I were together it had just been sex, or maybe it was fucking, as she had called it. Regardless, it had been purely physical between us, and now I could see the difference. We loved each other and we were using our bodies to express that in the most basic and glorious way.
I leaned forward to cup her breasts in my hands and wrapped my lips around a pink erect nipple. It made her moan when I sucked it gently and mimicked the motion on the other one by tugging it with my thumb and forefinger. Giving her pleasure came so naturally to me now that I knew her body so well. And I was nowhere near done learning. I yearned to know even more about the beautiful girl who moved on top of me, and not just what she liked sexually.
I wanted to know her dreams for the future. Did she want to stay in school and maybe go for her master’s degree, or even a PhD? Did she want children someday? Did she want to stay here once she finished her studies, or did she want to move to a different part of the country? Did I have a place in her future plans? I was pretty much set with my apartment, which I owned, and a good steady job, but her life was just star
ting.
Fear gripped my heart at the realization that we might not have a real future together like I dreamed about. What if she didn't envision us together like I did, with a family of our own some day? I pushed the thought away. I didn’t want anything to spoil this moment.
I had fallen for her completely and there was no going back. I wanted her for life. It may have happened quickly, but I knew the truth in my heart. I would never love another woman the way I loved her.
"Stephen," she moaned and leaned in to kiss me.
Her lips were gentle and her tongue caressed mine as if she were savoring my taste. It was a contrast to the frantic movements of her pelvis as she rode me faster and faster, bringing both of us closer to the edge. She started to tremble in my arms and threw her head back as my hands went to her hips to help control her movements. I moved in sync with her, my desire overwriting my fear of losing her, and I finally lost myself in the sensations.
"Stephen! Oh God, Stephen! I love you!" she called out.
I lifted my hands to cup her face. "Look at me," I moaned.
Her eyes were narrow slits and dark with desire, but she held my gaze.
"I love you," I gasped. "I will always love you."
"Yes!" she cried out, her body becoming rigid as she came.
I followed immediately after and held her tightly to me while every part of my being joined her in perfect ecstasy. When I came to, she was still rocking slowly on top of me, her arms and legs wrapped around my spent body. Her face was buried against my neck and I heard her murmuring softly against my skin.
"Always, baby. Always."
And with those simple words, she eradicated all my fears.
"Always," I whispered in her ear before I pulled back and met her loving gaze.
We may have been different in many ways and our differences were bound to cause complications in the future, but I knew that as long as Julia looked at me like she did in this very moment we could overcome anything. We loved each other despite our differences and didn't care that some people wouldn't understand our relationship.
"I absolutely love you," I whispered, remembering the song that Julia had sung for me.
"But we're absolute beginners," she continued with a beautiful smile.
"We'll learn together," I said with complete confidence and pulled her against me in a tight embrace. "I love you so much, my Julia."
“Always.”
I knew that we should get back downstairs before someone realized that we were missing, but this moment was so perfect. I stroked her curls and kissed the soft skin on the side of her neck while my eyes looked around the room. Never in a million years would I have imagined being in this intimate position with a sweet and beautiful girl when I lived here. The shy seventeen-year-old boy inside of me who used to sleep in this bed would have given everything to experience this, and the thirty-three-year-old man I was today was just as awed by the whole thing. Perhaps I hadn't changed that much, after all. I had simply found someone who loved me for me and I knew that I would spend the rest of my life trying to make her feel as loved as I did in this very moment.
Chapter 10
"We should get back to the party," Julia murmured, pressing her lips against my shoulder.
We were still sitting on my old bed, intimately joined after making love, and I wasn't ready to leave. I ran my hands up and down her sides until she leaned back and smiled at me. My eyes roamed over her body as if I were just seeing her for the first time. She was a vision; her eyes shining brightly, her lips a little swollen from our kissing, her cheeks, neck, and chest still lightly flushed from her orgasm, her soft full breasts that I wanted to put my mouth on again. To me, there was nothing in the world more spectacular than this sight.
"You are so…" I sighed. "So goddamn beautiful," I said, adding the curse word for emphasis even though it didn't come close to describing her accurately.
I wanted to worship her because she was truly a goddess. And she loved me. The thought was mind-boggling. She was young, beautiful, sexy, and smart, and for some reason she had chosen to bestow her love on me. I would have thought all of this the impossible dream of the sheltered, lonely man I had been just a few months ago if it weren't for the fact that I could feel her in my arms. She was really mine and she loved me.
I brushed her hair off her neck and kissed her gently while I inhaled the fragrance of her skin.
"I love the way you smell," I whispered. I traced my fingertips down her chest and gently stroked her breasts.
"You're so soft," I told her, gently laying her down on the bed and moving to lie on my side next to her, making sure our bodies were still touching.
"I've never met anyone as lovely and sweet as you," I whispered before kissing her lips.
I looked into her eyes and smiled. "I love you."
"I love you, too, Stephen.”
Her words made my heart skip a beat. I’d never imagined this could happen to me, that I could be this happy. I covered her neck and chest in soft kisses, caressing her body with gentle strokes.
"If you keep that up we won't be going downstairs to the party for a while," Julia moaned softly as I enveloped a taut nipple, wetting it with my tongue.
I looked up her, grinning. "All part of my plan.”
After attending every year, I knew how the party progressed and they wouldn’t even have started eating yet. Right now people would still be walking around making mindless small talk while drinking half their body weight in my parents' booze.
No, thank you. I'm happy right where I am.
"I like our party much better," I said, sliding my hand up the inside of her thigh and smiling at her soft gasp when I reached my destination.
By the time Julia was close to climaxing on my fingers, I was ready again. I moved in between her legs and lifted them over mine, sliding against her.
"Oh, I feel you,” Julia moaned. "You're…”
"I'm hard again," I whispered. "For you, sweetheart. You're so incredibly sexy I just can't help myself. I can't get enough of you."
"I don't mind at all,” she said, her voice becoming breathy as I pushed inside. “Oh, I can’t get enough of you, either.”
I sat up on my knees and took her with me. Julia had taught me this position, which made it very easy for me to touch her everywhere and still control my movements. Just a few months ago I never would have known that, but now it all felt so natural. I loved watching myself sliding in and out of her while she moaned softly against me and I wanted to give her even more. My thumb moved easily over her swollen clit and I was amazed that she got so much pleasure out of such a small thing. I upped my pace again, going deeper and harder, and Julia's moans turned into small cries.
"Oh! Oh! Stephen!"
I would never ever get enough of this, of her, of seeing her like this. The way her arms stretched out above her head, which was thrown back in rapture. Her eyes were closed and her lips parted. Her beautiful body was moving with mine as she came closer to climaxing with each thrust of my hips, each swirl of my thumb. I was doing this to her. I was making her feel good. She was coming for me. The thought drove me wild.
"Does it feel good, sweetheart?" I panted. "Are you going to come for me?"
"Yes, holy…yes!" she moaned. "It feels amazing. Harder, please!"
I was glad that I had recently had an orgasm and I was able to fulfill her request without worrying about finishing before I could make her come again.
“Yeah, you like this?” I asked, grabbing one of her breasts, none too gently. “You like it when I fuck you hard?”
Even when we were together like this and it was wild and unrestrained, my body pumping into hers, it was still lovemaking. That didn't go away no matter how we did it. Julia didn’t answer. Instead, she let out a loud garbled version of my name, sucked in a deep breath, and stilled beneath me. I knew this moment so well by now, but it was still just as fantastic to behold every time. Julia climaxing was the most glorious thing I had ever seen, and the
re was no greater feeling in the world than the way she tightened around me while I continued to pound into her.
When she started to come down I slowed my pace and simply enjoyed the feeling of pulling almost all the way out and then sliding effortlessly into her tight, amazing heat.
"Oh God, that was…oh, that was fantastic," Julia groaned. I stopped and bent down to claim her lips.
"I love doing that to you," I confessed and started trailing kisses down her body until I reached her breasts.
I cupped them in my hands and gently suckled her nipples while Julia stroked my hair and made wonderful little appreciative noises. Suddenly, she gasped and her body stiffened underneath me. I was about to ask her what was wrong when I heard the sound of a closing door. I whipped my head around but there was nothing to see.
"What was that?" I asked and looked at Julia.
"Michelle," she whispered.
WHAT?
"Michelle?" I practically screeched, sitting up abruptly, all thoughts of lovemaking completely forgotten. "She was watching us?"
Julia nodded slowly.
"Oh God, I'm so sorry!” I grabbed fistfuls of the bedspread underneath her, trying in vain to pull it up around her, wanting to cover her up as if that would somehow protect her from Michelle's intrusive eyes.
"I didn't think to lock the door," I lamented. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I didn't know that we would be doing this or I would have locked it, and then things just sort of happened and I wasn't thinking and I… I…"
"Baby!" Julia sat up and wrapped her arms around my neck. "I don't care that she saw us. I'm not upset."
I blinked. "You're not?"
"No! I don't give a shit that she saw me naked," Julia said and started stroking my hair again.
"Besides, she wasn't really paying much attention to me," she added with a grin.
I gaped at her. "How can you find this amusing? She just saw us having sex!"
"Correction: She saw you screwing my brains out and giving me a mind-blowing orgasm." Julia looked expectantly at me as if she was waiting for a different reaction than the one I was having. I just stared at her with my mouth open, feeling out of the loop.