by J. C. Allen
But the leaving Earth part was apt, too, because I was leaving this God-forsaken corner and section of the city for at least a few hours. I’d have to return, but I knew Derek would take care of me. For now, I didn’t have a damn worry. I was leaving Earth and going to the physical manifestation of heaven.
Although, you don’t actually know where exactly that is.
“So, what’s the plan? You never told me where we’re going!”
Derek, just about to lift his leg to mount the bike, smirked and shrugged.
“Guess you’ll just have to wait and see,” he said almost softly, as if using the put-put-put of the engine as an excuse to not be heard. Oh, I see how this is played. Nice try, Derek. But I’ll call you out.
“Oh? Should I be nervous?” I said, having to shout over the roar of the engine—and doing so with the kind of ease that told Derek I would not be silenced.
“Maybe,” he shouted back. “But be the good kind of nervous.”
“Haven’t been any other way,” I said as I wrapped my arms around him.
“Good, but don’t let those nerves make your arms shake,” he said. “Hold on.”
He gave no warning, because I swear before he’d even finished “on” I felt the bike suddenly kick off from underneath me, producing a scream.
Leaning against the phantom pull, I nestled myself into his back, finding that I enjoyed the feel of him against me. His back was taut with muscles, and I couldn’t help but relish in the power I could feel in them as I held myself there. I felt his body tense and shift around each task as he piloted the machine through the streets; his shoulders rolling and tightening as he accelerated, steered, and worked the grips.
His lower back tensed each time he shifted gears, and the slight tug of these muscles against my lower belly had me embarrassing myself with unintentional reactions. Between the sensation of his body working against mine and the vibrations rolling, rolling, rolling on, I realized with no small amount of concern that I was enjoying the ride more than I probably should have been.
The funny thing was, I’d already experienced this bike ride at least twice, but I knew now I could never have appreciated it like I did now. In the first case, I was on the high of escaping the Black Falcons for at least one night and more focused on what was to come—or who was to come—than I was with the moment.
Then, yesterday, the ride from my corner to Waffle House was so short I barely had time to register the heat of the bike, let alone all of Derek’s muscles.
But now? Here? Now that we wound up driving for what felt like half an hour through the winding roads of the city?
He and the bike were thrumming with energy, and it was almost more than I could handle. Had I not known better or not liked this man as much as I did, I might have begged to be off!
The wind kicked up as he shifted gears again and sped past a yellow light that threatened to go red. A cry escaped my lips, one of pure exhilaration, and I felt his joyful laughter as it rippled through his back and against my face. Then, as if to prove a point, I saw a light that actually did turn red, and the bastard ran right through it!
“As your lawyer, I have to advise that what you’re doing is illegal!” I shouted, though I’m pretty sure—
“I thought you were finance!”
Huh, he can hear me. So much for that.
“Well as your financial adviser then, your insurance is going to go through the roof!”
Derek just gave a hearty and free laugh. I looked over his shoulder and saw signs for…
The highway?!?
“Really hang on now!”
Oh shit!
We banked right, turning onto the freeway, and the bike jumped into high gear. I screamed while Derek laughed.
The machine felt almost like a living thing that Derek had finally let loose. As we sped up, the energy swelled around us like an aura, seeming to feed each of us. We weaved past every car on the highway, and I felt sure I had never and would never hit this speed even if I was given a souped up car at the Indy 500 racetrack.
And, frankly, it was a freedom I’d never known, one I’d never even thought possible, and it was mine.
At that moment, at least, it was mine!
I felt free.
Free from Rock.
Free from my horrid life before.
Free from Chuck’s terrible, inhumane decision.
Free from it all.
Free, most of all, not from anything but to be with someone—Derek.
In that instant, I could almost understand why Derek drove without a helmet. To feel this free, to live in this moment of exhilaration, was to hand oneself over to something almost beyond the realm of control. Without a helmet, every detail and every bit of that delicious wind was his and his alone, filling his senses as he and his machine became one glorious entity and sped through the streets.
I envied the feeling, and a sort of dream-like trance came over me as I tried to imagine what it was like to see as he saw, to feel as he felt. More and more I put myself where he was until…
Until I could almost feel my own hands around my waist; until I could almost feel…
I felt us begin to slow, that glorious, roaring freedom fading into something strange and familiar; something…
Blinking at the sudden shift—what felt like a very real change in the universe itself, even though we had merely just turned off of the freeway and turned onto a small street—I saw that we were turning into a parking garage. Looking over my shoulder, curious to see if I could identify any landmarks and get a hint of where Derek had taken us, I spotted the city library across the street.
I gawked at the concrete building, realizing with some disappointment that I’d only ever seen the building from afar and never truly had the opportunity to appreciate just how massive it was. My time in the city had been short lived and, as a result, painfully limited before Chuck had sold me out, forcing my world to shrink to little more than mine and Crystal’s apartment and street corner. Even our bus route offered only a limited scope of the not-so-scenic downtown area.
But now, seeing the place I had wanted to be my second actual home, seeing the place that once could have been mine… I all but squealed at the realization that I had actually come close enough to throw a rock at it, let alone walk inside.
Derek pulled into an open parking spot. I felt myself whimper in protest as the motorcycle finally came to a stop and the rumbling engine died, but I didn’t have much time to mourn the end of our ride before Derek slipped off and held his hand out to me to follow.
“Are you ever going to tell me where we’re going?” I said.
“I figured I’d rather show you,” he said with a shrug. “So, you in?”
I smirked and decided I would show him as well. I took his hand, and with surprisingly little effort he helped me up—seeming to do most of the work. This, however, I was thankful for—my numbed legs weren’t, as it turned out, quite up to the task of lifting the rest of me on their own. Haven’t ever ridden a bike like that.
Haven’t ever ridden anything like that before, really.
I guess Crystal’s humor stuck with me on the way out, huh.
And then, just as we got outside the parking deck, he stopped.
“What are you doing?”
He didn’t say anything, instead turning his gaze to the library. I didn’t understand—it was a nice place and a good landmark for those who visited downtown, but it wasn’t like…
Unless…
“This… is…. This is our spot?” I said, almost refusing to believe it. Good things like this don’t happen. Good… things….
“You’re a reader, right?” he said with a smirk. “You gotta have something to mentally stimulate your intellect.”
I about cried on the spot. I would have if not for the incomprehensible joy that I felt. I literally screamed and jumped up and down. I turned to Derek, my energy out of control, and kissed him hard.
But not even a kiss could pull me
away from my distraction, because half a second later, I had pulled back, yanking on his hand as we sprinted across the street, ignoring that we were jaywalking, to the library.
The early noon sun still hung, bright and satisfied in the sky, and I couldn’t help but think that the day was already going perfectly. Between the amazing ride and now the chance to surround myself in one of my most guilty of pleasures? It was… well, perfect!
Absolutely perfect!
And, in its perfection, I found myself growing evermore curious about Derek. I glanced over at him as we started across the street, my intrigue swelling. Though it was, in my opinion, the perfect choice for a date, I knew that a library book sale wasn’t exactly the first choice many people would make.
Truth be told, it probably didn’t even rank in many peoples’ minds as a possibility, let alone a top choice. Most people wanted to stimulate the body, not the mind.
But Derek… he was not like most people, that much was quite obvious by now.
So… what made Derek an exception to that rule? What sort of life had a bad boy, motorcycle gang leader also being an unabashed book nerd? I figured it was no less intriguing than the sort of story behind a person like me—a “booker hooker” as Crystal sometimes called me—but, admittedly, mine was a pretty unconventional story, as well.
Or, I began to think, daring myself to think positively. He just wants what’s best for you. And he knows you like to read. He may not be a bookworm himself, but damn if he doesn’t want to make you happy.
“Do you like to read?” I asked when we finished crossing, in stunned disbelief.
“Admittedly, not as much as you do,” he said. “But I know it would be good for me to do so, and I know how much this means to you. So, hey, if I can kill two birds with one stone, why not?”
“Oh my God, Derek,” I said, and I fell into his arms.
I really didn’t know how this could get any better. I had no idea if Derek had plans beyond this very spot, but even if he didn’t, I would spend the next four hours here before heading back. This truly was heaven, a place where I could finally feel like a woman and not an object to be played with by men with money.
“Thank you,” I whispered as I leaned up to kiss him once more.
Before I let myself get too sappy, though, I had to sprint inside. This time, I forgot to grab Derek’s hand—I think he forgave me, though, given the laugh that I heard behind me. And just the fact that I know he forgives me… you’re getting better at not self-loathing, Eve.
Bit by bit, we’ll get there.
I stormed into the library, drawing glares from the other goers. I had to slow myself down so as not to create too much noise and get kicked out so quickly, but that did nothing to quell my beating heart. I could hear it in the silence, and it was not an unreasonable assumption to think that others could hear it.
I used the slow-down as a chance to go back and see Derek coming up to me, an unbelievably massive grin on his face.
“Come on,” I said. “I want to show you my favorite sections and books.”
All I have to say is bless that man’s soul, because for someone who was not an avid reader, he took such a keen interest in what I liked and asked intelligent questions. Even if he never read any of the books I discussed—or even if he never remembered any of the titles—the fact that he took such a connected interest and asked such compelling questions…
There was no doubt that this was not just some meathead on a bike. Oh, without question, he had the looks that would make an A-list Hollywood star jealous. He had the charm and the charisma to make all but the most noxious of women in this library swoon for him.
But that he also had an intellect he had so well hidden before… goodness, this truly was perfection.
I started him out in the non-fiction world—I didn’t want him to find me a weirdo for being into romance or vampires or paranormal novels. Strangely enough, though, I found him more interested in the fiction than the real. I asked him as much after I, blushing, discussed the very novel I’d pretended to be reading before Crystal the other day.
“I know the real world better than most in all its glory and all its ugliness,” he said. “I don’t need someone sitting at a desk to tell me how it’s done. But fiction tells me what could be in a different life. I may not like someone telling me how to live my life, but I like reading about how someone else may live their lives.”
It was the kind of answer I would never have expected from the leader of a biker gang, and it was the kind of answer that made me swoon for him just all the harder.
The hours passed by all too quickly, but in some ways, I did not even mind in the slightest. I knew as the clock struck 3 p.m. that I would see Derek again, and that even if he never came here again, he’d already proved his capability for learning and intelligence.
“So,” I said as we exited the library, me clinging to his arm like a school girl. “What was your favorite part?”
Derek paused for a second, put his finger to his chin, and then almost blushed.
“What, tell me!”
“I can’t,” he said.
“Oh boo,” I said, playfully hitting his arm. “Tell me!”
“I swear if you ever say this out loud to anyone in the Saviors or to anyone, period, I’m going to embarrass you back even worse.”
“Deal,” I said, knowing full well—somewhat humorously, but then sadly somewhat truthfully—I couldn’t be more embarrassed than what Rock had done to me.
“The vampire novel you told me about.”
“What?!?”
I couldn’t hide my surprise, but I tried to quickly corral it for the sake of an intellectual conversation.
“Why? I’m really curious. Seriously.”
Derek bit his lip and then just laughed, as if he couldn’t believe what he had just confessed to me.
“The truth is, with what’s happened in my past, I’ve needed to believe in the possibility of something like that again. No, not vampires, but love. Call me crazy—and like I said, people will if you say it to them, so don’t—but reading that… if people are writing about it, it must come from a place of truth. So…”
I could tell that Derek perhaps didn’t feel the most comfortable stating that. Actually, that felt like an understatement—he had never spoken so uneasily in the time that I’d known him, even when faced with the guard at the fundraiser.
So, I let it go. For now, I thought with a smirk.
“Thanks Derek,” I said, leaning up to kiss him. “My only regret is that we have to leave now.”
“Why don’t we do it tomorrow?” he said, leaving me stunned. That quickly? “It’s not like I’m seeing anyone else.”
That made me feel much better than I probably had a right to.
“And it’ll give you the chance to escape your day to day monotony for a spell. Trust me when I say I’m not going to let you be under Rock’s eye for much longer, but until I have a concrete plan, why not?”
I couldn’t believe my good fortune. What had I done to deserve a man like this with so little regard for bullshit rules like “wait this many days” or “don’t see a person back to back days?”
“Why not indeed,” I said, the hot fires in my stomach returning once more. “Yeah, that would be great.”
We stopped just before the bike and shared a long, tender kiss. This one didn’t feel quite so sad or quite so erotic—it just felt like a kiss.
And it was perfect. It was perfect that I could have a kiss not colored by an ugly context or a fear of what was to come. I could just have a normal kiss.
It was all I ever wanted, even if I hadn’t admitted as much the last six months.
“And my only regret is I have to drop you off for your work,” Derek grumbled. “But you know I’ll be working to fix it.”
“I know,” I said. “I know you’re good for it.”
5
Derek
When I dropped Eve off at her apartment—a term that barely qual
ified for the shithole that Rock gave them—I wanted to follow her so badly.
I wanted to follow her to make sure no one hurt her. I wanted to follow her to help anyone else under Rock’s oppression. And most of all, I wanted to follow her so I could find Rock and kill him.
But Eve had done something wonderful to me. She had tempered me. She had given me the space to realize that if I were to do something like kill Rock, I needed a plan.
It had hit me sometime around her discussing her favorite vampire novel that I was doing things I had never done for anyone except one other woman in my life. I would never have gone to the library for anyone, let alone a woman, but Eve’s spirit had drawn me along—and more than that, she had gotten me engaged in the books themselves!
I’d told her that the vampire novel was my favorite because it gave me hope, but I hadn’t expressly told her all the details. It made me believe in love, but it didn’t make me believe in love in general. It made me believe in love with…
Well, fuck it. With her.
I had to say it to myself. I had to admit the truth. I knew to some extent this was just lustful love for being this early in the game, but I also knew that the feelings I had for Eve far, far, far surpassed what I’d felt in the last several months compared to anyone else. In fact, I daresay she was the first girl I had feelings for, period, since…
Well, I didn’t need to ruin my current thoughts by going down that rabbit hole again.
But it was true. I was beginning to feel love for her. I had a long way to go before I would say “I love you” or any variant of that. I needed more time, and most of all, I didn’t want to put that on her head only to fall to Rock on a dangerous mission.
But… yes, I was feeling it. I was feeling it!
I had to speed off after I dropped her off, the better to avoid prying eyes. But I promised her same time, same place tomorrow.
And now that Eve had shown me her full spirit in a place that was probably a kind of home for her, I wanted to show her on that next day what my kind of home was.