by Неизвестный
She should've been scared out of her boots, had been from the start, she reminded herself. That had changed somewhere along the line, though she couldn't quite pinpoint why or when. Instead, she felt happy. Ecstatic, really, except when she started thinking about the reality of life away from Logan's arms. It couldn't stay this way. She knew that, accepted that somewhere deep inside. She still had a father to care for, a decision of his well-being to make, and a rodeo waiting for her to compete again in less than a week's time.
One more night, she told herself as she turned her upper body to snag the glass of water the bartender set on the bar. She'd give herself this last night to live in her oblivious bliss high above the clouds before she set her booted feet firmly on the ground once more.
"You two look great out there," Misty leaned across the bar to say.
Jaelynn sipped her water and shot a glance over her shoulder at the bartender. "Logan's the one with all the moves. All I have to do is follow his lead."
Misty made a 'hmpf' sound. "I guess he's going to get what he's always wanted after all. I suppose he deserves it after everything he's been through."
Jaelynn slowly turned and angled her head. "What are you talking about?"
"He didn't tell you about Emma, I take it. His ex-fiancé. You've probably heard of her. Emma Morrison."
Misty's eyes gleamed a little too much. As much as Jaelynn wanted to snort and turn away she couldn't. Neither could she stop herself before she asked, "Logan was engaged to Emma Morrison?" Yeah, she'd heard of the woman, even crossed paths with the bitch a time or ten in the rodeo circuit. Emma was ruthless, heartless and spiteful in her pursuit to be the next reigning rodeo queen. A title most in the business believed belonged to Jaelynn.
"She's from these parts, you know?" Misty nodded. "She and Logan burned hot and heavy for years. Not childhood sweethearts, but damn close. It figures he wouldn't tell you about her though, seeing as you're in the rodeo and all. It's what he wanted to do, you know, before his dad got ill."
Jaelynn's head spun as she tried to make sense of all Misty said. "Logan wanted to compete in the rodeo?"
"Sure did," Misty nodded. "Planned to make a life out of it with Emma. Lost his chance when his dad took sick though. Emma went on anyway, said she wasn't going to let his family problems stand in the way of her getting what she wanted. She lit on out of here and made a name for herself." She shook her head and sighed. "I always expected Logan to follow as soon as he got things at the ranch so he could leave it. Of course, by then he'd lost his way in, I guess you'd call it, some guy Emma knew who helped her out. But now he has you, so…" She left the implication hanging in the air and shrugged again. "Well, I've gotta get to my other customers. Good luck out there. Not that you'll need it," she muttered as she walked off.
Jaelynn stared after the bartender, her ears ringing, heart pounding. It didn't make sense. None of it. Logan wasn't using her. He couldn't be. Why would he?
Slowly, she turned to face the dance floor, her gaze instantly landing on Logan. How well did she really know him? She supposed about as well as anyone could get to know someone in a week. Certainly well enough for her to have thought him a good man, a decent man, an honorable man. Men like that didn't use a woman the way Misty implied he was using Jaelynn.
And yet, why not tell her about his past association with Emma Morrison? He'd been engaged to the woman, for crying out loud! He'd planned to spend his life with her. He'd lain in his bed with Jaelynn these past few nights, and they'd talked sometimes until dawn and never once had he brought up Emma.
Logan turned on the dance floor, his narrow hips grinding to the beat of the music, and his gaze locked with hers. Jaelynn felt her chest tighten even as her eyes brimmed with tears. She needed time to think, needed some quiet so she could attempt to piece all this new information together. She stood and walked out of the bar. Rain poured from buckets out of the sky, but she didn't care. It wouldn't be her first escapade in the rain, and she doubted it would be her last.
* * * *
Logan lost his step as he watched Jaelynn leave the barroom. Where in blazes was she going? He didn't care about the final half hour of the dance-off. It was all in good fun anyway, and he would've preferred the crowd go for one of the other couples rather than him and Jaelynn. But it was raining something fierce out there, and he couldn't fathom why she could've left.
He wove his way through the line dancing couples and then the gathered crowd in the bar until he reached the door. Rain soaked him to the bone the instant he stepped outside. He stopped, lowering the brim of his Stetson to keep the sheets of rain out of his eyes so he could see. He spotted Jaelynn halfway through the parking lot, headed where, he didn't have a clue. He broke into a jog to catch up with her.
"Where are you going, darlin'?" He reached out, catching her upper arm and turning her to face him. The daggers shooting out of her eyes made him take a full step back. "Jae, what's wrong? What's going on?"
"I'm through giving you want you want, Cartwright, so you can find some other rodeo cowgirl to use."
Logan blinked, his head throbbing so suddenly it felt as if she'd hit him with a sledge hammer. "What the…? Jaelynn, sweetheart, what are you—?"
"You never told me you wanted to be in the rodeo, that you dreamed of it before your father got sick." She was livid, shooting the words out so fast he could barely keep up. He managed to catch the gist of them though and only succeeded in being even more confused.
"What little boy doesn't want to be a rodeo star? Hell, what does that have to do with anything?"
"It wasn't just a little boy's passing fancy for you, Logan, and you know it. You planned to make a life out of it."
"I did." He nodded, trying hard to hold onto his own quickly rising temper. "You, of all people, should know how a father's health can change a son or daughter's plans."
"And Emma Morrison, you were engaged to her."
Logan shook his head, not in denial but to jar his brain into the conversational switch she'd just taken. "Christ, Jaelynn, I never claimed to be a virgin when I met you."
"Oh, fuck you!" she spat and spun on her heel.
Logan had never been so confused in his life, and as long as she remained pissed at him, he figured he was likely to stay that way. "Will you stop just a damned minute and let's talk about this?"
"I don't want to talk," she shot over her shoulder. "I want to leave."
"Fine." He caught her by the waist and hoisted her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
"What the hell are you doing?" She pounded her fists into his back. "Put me down."
Logan winced—the woman was strong enough to pack a helluva punch—but he kept walking. "You want to leave. I'm taking you to the truck."
"I didn't say I wanted to leave this place with you. I meant I want to leave leave."
"Fine. You can leave. We're going to the house. You can talk or you can listen, but either way, you're not making a damned bit of sense, and I'm not going to try to sort any of this out in the pouring rain. When we get home, you can gather your stuff and leave if you still want to. I'll even drive you to the airport."
The fight left her as he shoved her in the passenger seat of the cab and slammed the door. He walked around to the driver's side and slid behind the wheel.
"I know I'm not making any sense," she said so softly he barely heard her.
He laughed, a short burst that clearly summarized the exasperation and confusion he felt and started the truck. "That's the most sensible thing you've said since you walked out of the bar."
She crossed her arms, her movements jerky and shot him a glare that, even in the darkness of the night, held enough derision to make him laugh again. As far as first fights went, he figured they had gotten off to a good start for a doozy.
She stayed that way for several miles, and the silence droned on. Finally, she huffed a sigh. "I thought you wanted to talk."
"Did I say that?" He hid a smile and barely contained
another laugh. She was pissed at him, for what he still hadn't exactly figured out. Using her, his desire to live the rodeo life, his engagement to Emma Morrison, none of that should've amounted to a hill of beans in her eyes. Well, except for the first part, though he'd yet to see how he could be using her.
"I will, if that's what you want." He loved her enough to tell her anything and everything she wanted to know. He wondered if she loved him enough to listen. "You might have to tell me what you want me to say though."
"The truth would be a good place to start."
"I've never lied to you about anything, Jaelynn." He took a deep breath as he struggled to keep the truck at a safe speed through the storm on the dark roads to the ranch. He'd never wanted to be home as much as he did now. If he could hold her, look her in the eyes as he talked, maybe he could put an end to all this madness.
"You didn't tell me anything, either."
Logan pushed the breath through pursed lips. "Okay, I figure you're pissed, though why I haven't got yet, because of my past with Emma. Since I'm not sure what else has those sexy panties of yours in a wad, and you don't want to tell me, I'll spill my whole life story, just the highlights for now. When I hit a sore spot, you let me know."
He paused, waiting for her to say something, and when she didn't, he went on. "I wanted to be in the rodeo for as long as I can remember. Being as your father brought you up in it, I'm not sure you can quite understand the want, but I've watched your career, and I know you can understand the drive to be the best. You are, by the way, the best female rodeo rider out there." He shot her a glance as he pulled the truck onto Cartwright property.
Still, she said nothing, so he continued. "I had plans, big plans that revolved around the rodeo. I hooked up with people, made contacts, and worked my ass off toward that single-minded goal. Then one day I met Emma and, well, I'll just say it, I fell hard and fast."
He thought she muttered something like, "Sounds familiar," but couldn't be sure. He didn't stop to ask. "She wanted the same things I did. Or at least she claimed to. It seemed like the perfect fit, a match made in heaven. The dance lessons at the bar," he shook his head and brought the truck to a stop outside the little place he kept behind the main house, "were all her idea. She roped me into it as effortlessly as she lassoes cattle now. We did it for a little money and because it kept our days free. At least that's what I thought. I didn't know she used it as an excuse to spend the nights at the bar, looking to pick up rodeo cowboys."
Jaelynn looked at him then. "She cheated on you?"
"See, that's something I never quite figured out either. Hell, there was so much I didn't get, still don't, and likely never will. I was so naïve." He ran a hand down his face and laughed though the sound held little humor. "Pa got sick. I wasn't about to leave him, to leave the ranch to who knew what fate. There wasn't anyone else to keep it going, so it fell to me. Emma couldn't understand, or wouldn't. I don't really know which. She could only see what she wanted, the life she said she wanted for both of us slipping away. So she found someone else, hooked up with a guy in one of the two-bit rodeos that came through Sunset, worked her way up, and now, well, she is what she is."
"From what I've heard of her, a rodeo tramp." Jaelynn turned her head back to stare out the truck window, the glass muffling her words.
Still, Logan heard them, and he chuckled. "Yeah, I've heard that too. I guess I owe her, though, for getting me into the whole dancing gig, anyway. See, thing was, I started to enjoy it. It seemed I'm not so bad at it."
"Not so bad at it," Jaelynn mumbled. "You know you're good, but that's irrelevant at this point."
"Then what is relevant, Jae? What set you off like that back at the bar, because I'm damned if I've worked it out yet."
"Misty," Jaelynn answered with a sigh. "She told me you're only using me as an in to the rodeo. Now that you're not so needed on the ranch, you're looking to take back what you gave up."
Logan gaped at her. "And you believed her? Christ, Jaelynn. Did you even stop to think for one second about how ridiculous that sounds?" He didn't wait for her to answer. He'd managed to keep his rein on his temper fine until now, but he felt it slipping at Misty's relentless meddling in his life, at Jaelynn's utter stupidity for believing the other woman. For crying out loud, women could be so dense sometimes.
"Why would I need you to get into the rodeo if that's what I wanted? Talent and skill would get me that just fine, darlin'. And as for not being needed around here, hell, that hasn't changed. If anything, I'm needed around here more than ever. I'm the one that keeps this damned ranch from folding and, you want to know something, I love the Sam Hill out of it. I love the ranch, and I love my life. That dream of being a rodeo star was just what I said, a boyhood fancy. It just lasted until I got way out of boyhood."
"Well, hell, that's telling me, isn't it?" she spat and got out of the truck, slamming the door behind her.
Logan sat stunned and watched her through the windshield and the falling rain as she entered his house pretty as you please without looking back to see if he'd followed. The rain had slowed to a drizzle. Part of him considered putting the truck in reverse and driving straight back to the bar for a night of down and dirty drinking with good old Jack, something he hadn't done in too many years to count. The other part had him stepping out of the truck, shutting the door a lot more softly than she'd done, and walking into his house.
* * * *
Jaelynn stood in the kitchen nursing a beer by the time Logan followed her. She leaned against the counter by the fridge, one arm crossed beneath her breast, the other holding the beer to her lips, and studied him. He stopped just inside the kitchen doorway and studied her right back.
"I'm going to say this only once so listen up because it might be the last time you ever hear it from my lips." She took a deep breath and said it. "I was wrong."
Damned if his lips didn't twitch at that. There was still a great deal of temper there. She could see it swirling in his chocolate eyes, in the hard set of his jaw, but amusement glinted close at its heels.
"I jumped to conclusions that I can't even explain myself. You asked what I was thinking, and I don't have a clue. This entire week has been," she paused and took a long pull from the beer, "hell, I don't even know what it's been. You've knocked me out of my boots, and I'm not sure how to slip back in them again." He opened his mouth to speak, but she shook her head. "Wait. I'm not done."
Amusement warred with the temper. He closed his mouth and lifted a brow.
"Do you love me, Logan Cartwright?" The other brow came up to join the first, but he didn't answer. Her heart skipped, tripped, and she had to look away. "Do you want a damned beer?"
"Yes."
She whipped her gaze back to him. "That would be a yes to which question exactly."
The kitchen was small. Four strides brought him within inches of her. They felt like the four longest strides of her life.
"Yes, I want a beer." He reached out and took the one from her hand, tipped it back and drank deep. Then he reached for her with the other hand, his fingers grazing down her cheek. "And yes, I love you. Though I'm not sure why you had to ask seeing as you said you already knew."
"You haven't said it yet." She sounded breathless, her whisper shaking with emotion, her skin tingling from his touch, from the mere proximity of his body.
"You told me not to."
"Do you always listen to what a woman tells you?"
"I try, but from now on, I promise not to try so hard. Right about now, though, I want you to do the listening. I love you, Jaelynn-Sue Murphy. I love you with or without that damned rodeo. See, you haven't done a lot of talking in the last week, but I've done a lot of thinking, and here's what I propose."
Jaelynn felt her eyes go wide at his choice of words. He saw it too because his lips curved in a slow grin. "Yeah, I'm getting to that, too, but not quite yet. The way I see it you have two choices. One, you can toss your father in a nursing home in the city where he will l
ikely die of unhappiness inside a week. Or two, you can quit the rodeo and stay home to take care of him. Now, I don't see as you really want to do either one of those so I'm offering up a third choice. Bring him to live here, on the Cartwright ranch, where I can see after him when you're away."
Jaelynn was completely taken aback by his offer. She stared at him, her mouth falling open and tears burning her eyes. "Logan, I—"
He kissed her quiet and then set the beer they'd emptied together on the counter and pulled her into his arms. "I'm not done yet," he told her as he started to dance to a beat only in his head. "See, there's a catch to him living here. I mean, I can't let him live on Cartwright land, take care of the man, for Heaven's sake, and not get something out of it."
Jaelynn narrowed her misty eyes. "Exactly what did you have in mind?"
"You have to dance with me."
She blinked in surprise. "We are dancing."
He nodded, bent his knees and did a vertical circular move with this hips he hadn't done before. "Hmm, yeah, it seems we are, but I'm talking about forever, Jaelynn." He spun her around, her back slamming into his front, her head falling back on his chest. He leaned down and nipped the side of her neck. "Marry me, Jaelynn-Sue Murphy." He caught her hand, spun her out and yanked her to him again, this time front to front. "Dance with me in every way a man can dance with a woman from right now until the end of time." His hands moved to cup her ass, and he ground his rapidly hardening cock against her middle even as his lips grazed her forehead, her nose, and her lips. "Be my partner in dance, in love, in life," he whispered and kissed her.
She couldn't keep up. For the first time, she found it difficult to follow his lead with all the turmoil twisting through her head. Too fast, everything inside her screamed it was all too fast. They'd known each other barely a week and now they were talking marriage, forever. But as he pulled back to meet her gaze and she saw all the promise and emotion swirling in his eyes, she knew she could've said yes that first night and her life would've been absolutely perfect.