Forests, Fishing, & Forgery

by Tonya Kappes

  “You devoured that corn on the cob.” Ty laughed with joy on his face. “I love seeing you eat my food. It makes me really happy.”

  “You’re such a good chef.” I picked up my bathing suit that was lying on the blanket with his trunks. “Let’s take a relaxing dip before it’s too dark to enjoy.”

  Obviously, we’d not yet reached the stage in our relationship to change in front of each other, so we took turns going into the woods to change.

  I dipped a toe into the water and told myself that I was going to take a cleansing bath in the moonlight waterfall. Come out a renewed girl. Leave the death of Corbin behind and the murder of Alison up the police. My sleuthing days were over along with any sort of feeling I had towards Hank Sharp.

  I dove into the water and let it flow down my body. When I came up for air, my hair felt funning laying down my back in a straight line when it was usually springing up around my ears. Ty was like a little kid. He dove and swam around, splashed and flipped.

  “Thank you for making tonight so special. You have no idea how much I needed this.” I took the initiative to wrap my arms around him.

  There was a stirring over his right shoulder. A few bubbles, making me think it was a school of passing fish.

  “I was beginning to think we weren’t meant to happen,” Ty’s words floated into my ears, making it seem like a dream as a hand popped up where the bubbles were coming from. It had a fancy watch in its grip just like the fancy watches William Hinson had given his groomsmen. Like a spotlight, the moonbeam highlighted the engraved initials “JTD” as clear as day.

  “You tensed. Did you not like what I said?” He turned his head over his right shoulder to see what I was staring at before he grabbed me and dragged me to the shore.

  “Is that?” I licked my lips to wet my dry mouth.

  “I’ll call Hank.” The disappointment dripped from his tone as he took one of the beach towels and wrapped it around me.

  After Hank and the police had gotten to the crime scene and determined it was in fact William Hinson with bruising around his neck due to an unofficial cause of death by strangulation, Hank let me and Ty leave.

  He did tell us that he’d question us after the holiday and try to enjoy the next couple of days. He didn’t even make any sort of smart remarks about me and Ty. He was very professional. Ty and I had made it back to the campground and stood in front of my camper in silence.

  “Mae,” Ty’s voice broke. “Since the first day I saw you in Normal, I thought you was the prettiest thing I’d ever laid my eyes on. I’ve lived in and among this world and I was smitten. Over the last few months since you moved here and I moved back, forces of nature just aren’t letting us get together the way I want to be together.”

  I could see where this was going. Just another dead thing thrown in my path to end a nutty week.

  “You don’t have to say anything.” I gave him the pass. “I do want you to know that I think you are a true gentleman. I’ve never been treated so kind by a man in my life.”

  He laughed and said, “Maybe you need someone a little gruffer around the edges to tame you, Mae West.”

  I stood there watching as he moseyed on down to his camper and didn’t go inside to check on Fifi until I saw him flip on his lights. He wasn’t coming back to try to win me over.

  FIFTEEN

  “Shhh!!” Betts turned up the TV at the Laundry Club. “They’re having a news conference.”

  There we all sat with our pumpkin spice coffee and donuts in the middle of the Laundry Club on this Labor Day morning. We knew we’d all be too busy to get together to celebrate so we’d decided to get together early, with Fifi in tow.

  Fifi looked like she could pop any minute. She was going to have to stick close to me all day because I had a feeling the three littles ones, confirmed by the ultrasound the vet had given Fifi, were going to come into this world any minute now.

  There was silence, probably the most silent I’d ever heard the laundromat, as we listened to Hank Sharp talk to the press about William Hinson and how they had Jamison Todd Downey in custody for murder.

  “Let me start off by saying,” he started out. I couldn’t help but notice he had on the same jacket he’d put around my shoulders after I found Alison. The smell came back to me as if it were still around me. “The death of Corbin Ashbrook was not a murder. His death was from eating a cookie that’d been in contact with peanut butter. He was highly allergic to peanuts and he died on a trail that he loved. He will be greatly missed. Mr. William Hinson, the camper who went missing, and reporter Alison Gilbert were murdered by Jamison Downey, who is in custody. Mr. Downey killed Mr. Hinson because of a love triangle he was having with Mr. Hinson’s fiancée. Mr. Downey had killed Mr. Hinson in hopes his body would never be found in the depths of the Daniel Boone National Park. Ms. Gilbert made the deadly mistake of telling Mr. Downey that about her theory of corruption within the Normal government, making it seem like Ranger Ashbrook’s death was a murder plot. Let me stop here and tell you that there is no corruption within Normal’s government.” He put his hands up. There were sounds of cameras clicking. “We’ve investigated that and this packet the news media is going to get outline the facts that show no such wrong doing.” He held up the packets and handed them off to Agnes Swift, who then started to distribute them to the news media.

  He continued.

  “Mr. Downey had placed Mr. Hinson’s sweatshirt at Ranger Corbin’s place of death on the trail. He admitted in a sworn statement that he wanted us to believe that Mr. Hinson killed Ranger Ashbrook in a fit of rage and then disappeared.”

  As he spoke, all of the images of Jamison talking to Alison at the campground after we’d found Corbin and the images of watches started to complete the puzzle.

  “As for Ms. Gilbert, she’d had a couple of conversations with Mr. Downey that made him, in a psychotic state at the time, believe she knew he’d killed Mr. Hinson and in return he shot her from outside of the Daniel Boone National Park offices. We have recovered the gun and it’s in evidence.” He was so confident as he spoke and looked dead into the camera.

  “You okay?” I bent over and whispered in Fifi’s ear as she began to moan and roll to the other side.

  “I’m not going to take any questions at this time. All of this is just brand-new information over the last twelve hours. I’ll hold another news conference after the Labor Day weekend. Thank you.” He turned and walked back into the police station.

  “That’s crazy,” Abby said.

  “Are you sure she’s okay?” Dottie looked over at Fifi.

  Her little pink tongue was out and she was panting. She stood up and started to pace around the laundromat. We followed behind her.

  “I think she’s trying to find a place to give birth,” Betts said.

  “Okay, then.” Queenie jerked open a dryer that was still on cycle and pulled out a few pieces of clothing, tossing in front of Fifi right before she stepped on them.

  “Queenie,” Betts scolded. “Those aren’t your clothes.”

  “We need them.” Queenie took off to the front of the laundromat, her phone to her ear.

  “Who is she calling at this time?” Dottie asked, but I ignored her.

  “Can you get her some water to drink or something?” I asked and sat down on the tile floor next to Fifi where she’d laid on the warm clothes.

  She’d started to lick her girly parts. Her nipples had grown. The moaning had stopped and she was in birthing mode. For the next ten minutes, she licked her stomach and nuzzled her nose into her belly. We all watched in disbelief.

  The door of the Laundry Club swung open and Hank Sharp rushed in.

  “Is she okay?” He hurried over, those green eyes staring at me.

  “I’m not sure.” I gulped, rubbing my hands along my arm to ward off the sudden chill. “How did you know?”

  “I called 9-1-1 and told them we were having a baby in the Laundry Club,” Queenie joked.

  “When t
he call came through, I texted Queenie and she said it was Fifi, so I came to help.” He took off his coat and swung it over my shoulders. He rolled up his button-down shirt sleeves and reared up on his haunches. “I’ve helped birth many puppies,” he assured me with a warm smile. “She’s going to be just fine.”

  In no time, Fifi had pushed out three little pink puppies and had started to lick them clean. We all sat back and watched in amazement. Fifi was a natural at being a mama. Hank’s big strong hands rubbed gently over Fifi’s face, giving her comfort and love, sending my heart into a frenzy.

  “Do you have any soup?” He asked Betts.

  “In my office for when I need to heat up something quick. I think I have chicken noodle.” She stood up.

  “Can you go heat it up and bring the broth for Fifi. She needs something to eat.” He looked down at my sweet Fifi. She was still cleaning her babies as they began to nurse.

  Tears fell from my eyes.

  “You are such a good mama. I’m so proud of you,” I whispered in her ear. Hank stood up and walked away letting me be with her.

  “Hashtag Fifi had her babies at the hashtag laundry club hashtag detective Hank Sharp delivered the hashtag babies,” Abby talked out loud while she pecked away on her phone.

  I moved back once Betts had the warm broth. Fifi knew it was for her. She turned just enough so the babies could still eat while she lapped up the warm broth. Exactly what she needed.

  Betts held the bowl while the other girls continued to stroke Fifi’s back and tell her what a good girl she was.

  “Thank you for coming. I’m not sure we’d known what to do,” I said once I walked over to the coffee station where Hank was getting a cup of coffee.

  He handed me the cup he’d fixed.

  “You know, I’m not a jerk. I’m a gentleman, even though you don’t think so.” Was he trying to convince me of something? “When you’re in my job, you become a little harder hearted. I like Ty Randal all right. I’ve got nothing against him.”

  “He is a nice guy, just not for me.” It was my subtle way of opening the door for whatever Hank might’ve been eluding to. He might not be the guy who twists the cap off my beer, but he was the man that noticed I was chilled and twice gave me his coat.

  “Then I’m going to take you out on a date and show you just how much of a southern gentleman I can be.” He didn’t leave room for it to be a question. “I’m going to pick you up at 8 o’clock Thursday night. I know you have Fridays off, so be prepared to stay out late.”

  Hank didn’t bother getting himself a coffee or waiting for my answer. He walked out the door of the Laundry Club and didn’t look back.

  “What was that about?” Dottie Swaggert walked up behind me. Her head tilted to the right and then left to get a look at Hank walking across the street.

  “I’m not sure.” I tugged the edges of the suit coat up around my nose and took in a big inhale. “But I think it’s the security I’ve always been looking for.”

  After letting Fifi get some rest, I laid Hank’s suit coat down on the passenger side of the Escort and put her and her babies on top of it.

  We pulled into the campground. The campers were jumping into the lake and trying to use the pedal boats and getting stuck in some low spots. There was music coming from some of the campers. The campfires were lit and the twinkling lights all plugged in. Drought or no drought, Happy Trails Campground was in full swing and everyone had a smile on their faces. Labor Day had truly turned out to be labor day for Fifi.

  When I passed by the lake, Ty turned around. He and his little brother, Timmy, were fishing off the dock. There was a look in his eye that told me he was at peace with the decision he’d made last night and that made me feel good.

  I wasn’t sure where my love life was going to go, but I did know that me and Ty weren’t meant to be right now and my heart was bursting with love for Fifi and her three babies.

  Out of nowhere and just as I pulled up to the camper, big drops of rain belted the windshield of my car. I started laughing out loud. Fifi looked up at me. Her small round black eyes were tired.

  “We are blessed.” I patted her and looked out the rearview mirror.

  The campers were dancing in the rain. The drought was about to be over. My heart was full of joy. Once again, Happy Trails Campground was exactly where I needed to be in my life.

  It was home.

  RECIPES AND CLEANING HACKS FROM MAE WEST AND WOMEN OF

  NORMAL, KENTUCKY and THE HAPPY TRAILS CAMPGROUND

  RV HACK #1

  LAUNDRY DAY WHEN THERE ISN’T A PLACE LIKE THE LAUNDRY CLUB

  Nobody likes going to the laundromat, unless it has all the fun things that The Laundry Club has, so unless you have a large, fancy pants RV/camper with a washer and dryer, you will want to try this hack while camping. Just take a bucket and a plunger and use them to wash your clothes. Then you can line dry them in the sun. The bucket and plunger make a great little washing machine, and there is nothing like the smell of clothes line dried in the forest.

  CAMPFIRE BREAKFAST SCRAMBLE

  INGREDIENTS

  4 large potatoes

  1 onion

  1 dozen eggs

  2 cups sharp cheddar cheese

  salt & pepper

  ½ cup oil

  1 pound ground sausage or bacon

  INSTRUCTIONS

  Fry potatoes in oil until soft, then add onion.

  Move potatoes and onion to the side of the pan, where heat is lower.

  Scramble and fry sausage.

  Crack eggs over mixture; scramble until done.

  Sprinkle with cheese.

  RV HACK #2

  GRAB A BAG OF DORITOS

  You will never look at Doritos the same after you hear this brilliant hack. Starting a campfire doesn’t come naturally to everybody, even your most expert RV’er. After you’ve created a tent with your campfire wood, put a handful of Doritos in the middle of the tent. Use your matches to light the Doritos on fire and watch one of your favorite snacks turn into the best kindling you’ve ever seen.

  SHRIMP FOIL PACK SUPPER

  Foil packs are a must when camping. They are easy to make ahead of time and then pop on the grill with little clean up. Just put the foil in the trash or, even better, the recycling bin!

  INGREDIENTS

  1 lb medium shrimp, peeled and deveined

  3 ears corn, quartered

  1 zucchini, cut into half moons

  2 cloves garlic, minced

  2 tsp ground cumin

  1 tsp crushed red pepper flakes

  Extra-virgin olive oil, for drizzling

  Kosher salt

  Freshly ground black pepper

  2 limes, sliced into rounds

  2 tbsp butter

  DIRECTIONS

  In a large bowl, combine shrimp, corn, zucchini, garlic, cumin, and red pepper flakes. Drizzle with olive oil, season with salt and pepper, and toss until combined.

  Lay out four rectangles of foil. Divide the shrimp mixture equally between the pieces of foil and top each with a pat of butter and lime slices. Seal the foil packs.

  Heat grill to high. Add shrimp packs and grill until shrimp is pink, about 10 minutes.

  Chow down!

  CHOCOLATE BANANA BOATS IN FOIL

  INGREDIENTS

  1 banana, peeled

  2 tbsp miniature marshmallows

  2 tbsp semi-sweet chocolate chips

  2 tbsp Cinnamon Toast Crunch™ cereal, slightly crushed

  Aluminum Foil

  INSTRUCTIONS

  Preheat grill to medium high heat.

  Slice banana lengthwise and open it slightly. Place on a rectangle of aluminum foil.

  Sprinkle marshmallows and chocolate chips into the sliced banana.

  Wrap banana in foil and cook on the grill for 5 to 6 minutes.

  Unwrap banana and top with cereal.

  Once it has cooled a little, enjoy with a spoon!

  RV HACK #3


  SAGE IS THE PERFECT BUG REPELLANT

  Mosquitos are never welcome when camping or RVing. They can literally suck the fun out of any trip. Head on over to your local homeopathic shop and grab a bundle of sage. When you’re ready to light your campfire and to enjoy your night without those pesky bloodsuckers, throw the sage bundle into the flames. Not only will the sage keep the mosquitos away, it will put off a wonderful smell.

  About the Author

  Tonya has written over 50 novels and 4 novellas, all of which have graced numerous bestseller lists, including USA Today’s. Best known for stories charged with emotion and humor, and filled with flawed characters, her novels have garnered reader praise and glowing critical reviews. She lives with her husband and two very spoiled schnauzers and grew up in the small southern town of Nicholasville, Kentucky. Now that her four boys are grown boys, Tonya writes fulltime.

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