What if it was too soon? What if he wasn't ready to be a dad?
What would she do about it if he didn't want this baby? What if he freaked out like Tom had when she'd gotten pregnant with Sophie?
"Abbey, are you okay?" Julia knocked on the bathroom door.
Abbey opened it slowly and looked her friend in the eye. "You might be right."
"Right? About what?"
Abbey stared at her meaningfully until Julia's eyes widened and she exhaled slowly. "Oh my god, about the baby."
"Yeah, about the baby. I might be pregnant, and I don't know what to do about it."
"Do you want me to rush back into town and get a test?"
"Would you mind? I'd like to know sooner than later. Besides, if I am pregnant I can't get crazy drunk at the reception."
"That's true," Julia laughed, "dang it, I was dying to see you bust out your sweet dance moves."
"Oh believe me, nobody needs to see those," Abbey said. "Could you go now before I get laced up into this dress like a Christmas ham?"
"Hang tight, I'll be back in a jiffy."
"And Julia, don't tell David yet, okay?"
"Of course not, if anyone asks I'll tell them you ran out of hairspray or something."
At that Julia bounced out of the room like a deer in the springtime. Abbey was left sitting on the edge of the bed wondering what the hell she should do about this.
Her logical mind was telling her it would be welcomed as a blessing, but her anxious mind was concerned that David would flip out. She trembled and shook, but at last she took control of her thoughts and picked up her phone.
"Where are you?" she texted David.
"In the barn with the planner," he sent back.
"I need you here," she replied, sat further back on the bed and waited for him. She knew he'd race to her side at her request, he was that kind of man, reliable and dedicated to her.
He also knew her well enough to understand that if she said she needed him, then it wasn't a frivolous request...she really needed him.
In no time at all he knocked lightly on the door to their bedroom and she stood up to let him in. "What is it?" he asked, taking her by the shoulders and looking deeply into her eyes, his face a mask of concern.
"Nothing bad, I promise," Abbey replied.
"Is it about the wedding?" he asked.
"No," she laughed, "not at all."
"Oh good, I thought you were ditching me at the altar," David said with a lopsided grin.
"Never, you're stuck with me now," Abbey replied with a fierce declaration. "This is about me, something that might be happening to me."
Fear flickered across his features and he asked, "What is it? Are you sick?"
"Not sick, but I just threw up," Abbey said. "It's kind of the morning and I got sick."
"Do you have the flu?"
"No..."
"Where's Julia? What did she say? Is it food poisoning?"
"She wen to town to get me a test," Abbey replied, actually enjoying the moment, helping David figure it out on his own.
"A test? For being sick..."
"In the morning..." Abbey said pointedly and smiled at him.
It slowly hit him, her hints were coming together.
"Morning sickness?" he said slowly and loosened his hold on her as his hands dropped to his sides.
She backed up and sat back down on the bed, patted the mattress beside her and said, "Let's talk about what might be happening."
He joined her, sat down and took her hand. He looked at her, his lopsided grin seemingly frozen on his gorgeous face as he finally clued in. "You're pregnant? Am I going to be a father?"
"That's what the test is for," she said, "we can find out when Julia gets back."
"And I mean a father like there from the beginning, all through your pregnancy and when you go into labor," he said hastily, "I don't mean that I don't consider Sophie and Zach my children."
"I know what you mean," Abbey said, "and the way you've been with them you have a little leeway to be excited about this. If I'm pregnant, you get to enjoy the whole thing, including me in all my swollen, bitchy glory."
"I don't care how big or how bitchy you get," he said, "I'll love every expanding inch of you, no matter what."
Abbey's laugh ended as she snorted and her eyes widened. "Oh god, I just snorted like a pig, that means I probably am knocked up."
"That's hardly scientific," David laughed.
"It's true, with both my pregnancies I could laugh like a normal human being, I snorted every time I tried."
"Then I guess we don't need a test," David said. "It's official, I knocked you up, baby."
"Even if you didn't, I'm glad you're happy about it," Abbey said, leaning against him.
They sat like that joking about baby names until Julia came bursting through the door with a gust of air rushing around her with her entrance.
"I got it," she exclaimed and took not of David sitting on the bed. "Oh. I mean, no big deal, nothing to see here."
"He knows," Abbey said, "if you wouldn't mind could you give us a few minutes?"
"Definitely," Julia replied, but her face fell a little. She seemed so excited about the pregnancy test and a little rejected at Abbey's request. Abbey felt slightly bad, but couldn't worry about it too much. This was a moment for her and David alone.
When they were finally by themselves, David stood and dug through the bag Julia had tossed towards them. He pulled out a pink box and tore it open. He emptied the instructions into his hand, opened the paper and began to read.
"You have to pee on this thing?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at Abbey.
"Yup, that's kind of the point."
"Okay, let's do this. I mean, if you have to go."
"I can, I've been holding it."
"Always planning ahead," David said, "I'm glad I didn't decide to tickle you or something."
Abbey walked slowly to the bathroom, David trailed behind. "You can wait there for a minute," Abbey said, shutting the door behind her. They lived together but she still needed a modicum of privacy. She wasn't too keen on peeing in front of him in any circumstance but with this kind of pressure, it would be impossible.
She sat, withdrew the test, read over the directions, and did what she needed to do.
She set the test on the counter's edge, finished up and stood to get David. She opened the door and found him standing right up against it, his ear pressed against the wood.
"Oh," he exclaimed, blushing at being caught. Even blushing he was so handsome, his strong jaw and incredible eyes not diminished by him being flustered. "You're done."
"Yup, and now we wait."
"How long?"
"Two minutes."
"That's not too bad."
"It's going to feel like a lifetime.
And it did. David must have looked at his phone a hundred time, and Abbey couldn't help but sneak a peak each time he pulled it out.
The final peak and he was practically shaking when he turned it around to show her the screen. "It's time," he said.
"It is," she replied.
He took her hand in his and they walked to the test together.
"Here we go," he said.
She was trembling when she picked it up, looked at it and read the little window.
"Pregnant," she exhaled slowly. "It's positive, it says pregnant."
"Let me see it," David said, the excitement making his voice rumble.
She held it up, showed him and watched his face as it all sunk in. He had gotten her pregnant and he was going to be a father. He was going to experience the entire thing, from the passionate conception to the crazy screaming birth.
And Abbey couldn't imagine doing it with anybody else at that point, he would be by her side and supporting her the entire way. Unlike her last two pregnancies where she'd felt alone and forgotten, she knew David was going to carry her through this no matter how tough it got.
"How do you feel, Daddy?" Abbey asked, h
er racing a hundred miles a minute as she considered the changes this would mean and worried about how Zach and Sophie would feel about having a baby in the house.
David was silent for a moment as he carefully considered his response. Abbey watched him as the ghost of a smile formed into a full on wide grin. He turned to her and said, Honestly? I feel pretty fucking awesome. I got you pregnant, I'm the man!"
She laughed as he nipped at her neck and pulled her close to him.
"That you are," she replied and threw her head back for him to kiss her neck and work his mouth up to her ear.
She shivered as he kissed and sucked it, and whispered, "I love you so much Abbey. I never thought it could feel like this."
"I love you too," she replied and closed her eyes, savouring the sensations of his mouth on her sensitive skin.
There was a sharp rap at the door and the wedding planner's voice broke through their moment. "Are you two in there? David, I need you. We have hay bales to move and I can't find the table that was supposed to be here last night. I don't know where the rental company left it."
David exhaled and groaned in irritation. "Back to reality," he said. "I want this to be perfect for when you walk down the aisle to me."
"Everything already is," Abbey said and watched him longingly as he got up and walked to the door.
He paused, looked back and said, "I can't believe it, we're having a baby."
"We are," she grinned and watched him leave.
Abbey took a deep breath and stuck her head out the door to call Julia. She needed to finish her hair and makeup, get out of her comfy bathrobe and into her gorgeous light blue wedding gown.
She didn't feel right wearing white, especially now that she was pregnant, so she'd gone with the most intensely beautiful color she'd ever seen. She was happy with it, David was happy with it, so nobody else's opinion mattered.
She brushed at a stray tendril curling along her cheek and smiled to herself in the mirror. She'd never considered herself a beautiful woman, even when as a teenager, men and boys had flocked to her. She'd never seen it, never understood what they'd been drawn to.
With David in her heart, their love shining through her eyes and making her skin glow with some secret magic, she finally saw it.
She was beautiful because she could see what David saw, she could see herself through his eyes.
She was perfect because of his love.
Julia returned, they finished getting Abbey ready and headed towards the barn where David and the planner had been setting up for the last couple days. Abbey didn't know what to expect, she'd given them her ideas and had left the rest up to them.
What she hadn't expected was the driveway filled with cars, all the way to the road and lining it down both sides for a ways. She hadn't expected the barn to be lit up with what seemed to be a million tiny white lights, and she hadn't expected to gasp in wonder when she walked through the sliding front doors as music began on an old piano at the front.
She recognized one of the moms from school on the bench, let Julia, Sophie and her other bridesmaids line up and start their walk down the aisle.
The planner had laid out a white silken path between rows and rows of hay bale seats. They were so packed with friends and family that people were standing along the sides of the barn, watching her walk.
David's parents were at the front, recently returned from their winter home in Arizona. Both of them had been thrilled with Abbey and David's relationship, and both had taken Sophie and Zach under their wings like they'd been born into the family and were their biological grandkids.
Abbey had a feeling it wouldn't change once they found out about the baby, they were generous, good hearted people who valued family, no matter the configuration.
Abbey felt good, she was holding it together and maintaining her composure until the wedding march started and her dad walked up beside her to take her to David. She looked up at him, caught his eyes bright with tears, and almost lost it right then and there.
"You look so much like your mother," he said and his voice choked in his throat.
Abbey took his arm, felt the music flow through her, let the hush of the crowd lift her up until she felt light enough to almost float down the aisle, and focused all her attention on David.
The cavernous space of the barn shrunk until her vision tunneled, her on one end, David on the other, his incredible eyes shining with love and leading her towards him and towards the rest of their lives.
She could hardly breathe as life marched on, leading them into their future, their bright, loving, incredible future.
And it was good.
It was more than good, it was exactly what it was meant to be.
Epilogue
"Mom, are you even listening to me?" Zach asked Abbey over breakfast one morning.
"I am, I'm just trying to feed your little brother and that takes up a lot of my attention," Abbey replied and turned back to Paxton, her little surprise wedding baby who wasn't so little anymore. He was almost three and doing his best to spit out every piece of toast Abbey got even close to his mouth.
"Let me take over and you can hear all about Zach's business plan," David said, coming into the dining room in his uniform. He had to be into work in about an hour but he always had time to help Abbey out in the morning, just one more amazing thing about her husband.
Oh, and he looked incredible in his police uniform, broad shoulders, tight abs and those thick legs that drove her mad. She looked up at him, handed him the plate with Pax's toast and grinned at him. "Good luck with that, Dad. But thanks!"
He sat next to his son who immediately changed his demeanor from good natured demon child to Daddy's little helper. He ate everything David put in front of him and didn't blow raspberries even once.
"This isn't that hard," David chuckled and Abbey stuck her tongue out at him playfully.
"Now what was I missing over here?" she asked Zach who was going to be thirteen in a few months and considered himself to be basically a grown man as he always put it.
"I want to take on a couple colts to train," Zach said, his voice breaking in his excitement. It saddened Abbey sometimes, to realize her little boy was becoming a teen right before her eyes, but she was so proud of the gentle, hard working kid he had become. "My buddy Robert is doing it, and he's making over two hundred dollars a month per colt!"
"That's pretty good money, but you know that you have to work for it, right?" Abbey said. "They'll be completely your responsibility, and those nights you have soccer late, you'll have to convince one of us to do the feeding."
"I'll help," Sophie piped up from her eggs and iPhone. She could text her friends at about a million words a minute Abbey assumed, the way her fingers sped across the keyboard. "I love horses and I could feed them for you. You just have to pay me twenty dollars a month to do it."
"Twenty dollars? That's one tenth of my income," Zach grumbled. "How about ten?"
"Twenty, take it or leave it. I'll bet mom will charge more, or she'll make you do chores to pay for it," Sophie said, a smug smile on her face.
"She sure takes after her mother," David said and winked at Abbey.
"Guilty as charged," Abbey laughed. "Well Zach, what do you think? Do you want to share your profits with your sister if she helps you out?"
"I guess so," Zach said, "it's probably easier than being your chore slave." He laughed when abbey rolled her eyes at him.
"Then go for it," Abbey said, "it sounds like you've got this all figured out."
She picked up her cup of coffee and inhaled deeply, enjoying her morning with the family. She felt as though every morning brought her more joy, and sometimes she worried that she was too satisfied, but she couldn't help it. Life had served her up enough helpings of pain and abuse, she deserved to enjoy the happiness it was giving them now.
She’d had her fill of misery and darkness, the rest of her path was brightly lit and full of moments like this.
She had her mome
nt of quiet serenity, and then like a switch was flipped, Pax tipped his plate over onto the floor, their cattle dog raced in chasing their big old fluffy cat, Zach grabbed Sophie's phone and the entire morning changed back to normal.
Absolute chaos, beautiful chaos. The things that life was made of.
David helped Abbey clean up and get everyone settle down and they finished up breakfast with the kids.
After everyone was finished, she got David off to work, the kids off to the bus stop, and Pax down for his morning nap before she had a chance to tidy up the breakfast table. She watched the barnyard slowly go from darkness to being washed in sunlight, and took a break for herself on the back porch with a cherished second cup of coffee.
The house was still in the middle of being renovated, as always, but it was coming along nicely. They'd added a lot of square footage on the ground floor and were working on a massive master suite upstairs.
Her dad was coming over later today to help with some of their cows, he was always handy to call when they needed a hand.
Much to her delight, he'd been recently seeing a local woman, the owner of a fabulous bakery in town so Abbey and the family were gifted fresh bread whenever Maria came out to see her dad.
David's family were completely devoted to Pax, but they never made it weird and always treated Zach and Sophie with equal love.
Tom still maintained his distance, he and Candy seemed to be on and off over and over again, and Abbey didn’t mind him staying away. The kids had stopped asking about him long ago and both called David their dad, no questions asked.
His parents were still involved though, and even sent Pax presents for his birthday and Christmas. Abbey’s insistence that all her children were treated equally went both ways too everyone in their lives. It felt good to have a backbone, to stand up for herself and her children. Fleeing Tom had done more for her than any self help book or therapist ever could have.
Abbey heard the baby monitor crackle and Paxton began to sing a little song about his toes that he'd learned at daycare. It was perfect timing, she had to be in town to her shift at the Co-op in a couple hours and could drop Pax off for his afternoon preschool before her dad picked him up...right after he picked up Zach and Sophie from their schools.
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