by Sarah Price
It was almost three in the afternoon when Alejandro returned to the farm. They had driven into Lancaster to find a mall, and to Alejandro’s surprise and slight displeasure, several people had noticed him, crowding him at the mall. While Alejandro had been willing to take a few photographs with his fans, he was worried about what might happen next. Teenagers were unpredictable and viral. The wrong words could set off a firestorm. Luckily, the driver had accompanied him inside the mall and managed to whisk Alejandro away before there was a mob scene. It was clear that, even in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, Viper could not remain anonymous.
He let himself into the grossdaadihaus and changed his clothes. With simple black trousers and a plain white shirt, Alejandro felt better. Gone were the linen shirt and jacket. He wore a sleeveless T-shirt underneath the shirt, just in case it got too hot working in the barn. And boots. Real boots. Not the fancy Italian leather shoes that he was so used to wearing around the city. There was no mirror in the house for him to see how he looked, but he knew that he would definitely blend in better.
When he walked into the Beilers’ kitchen, Amanda was sitting at the table, her wheelchair pushed in so that she could help her mother with the beef canning. There were newspapers spread on the table and empty glass jars waiting for her to shove the beef mixture into each container. Her sleeves were rolled back and her apron smudged with stains. She looked up at Alejandro and quickly looked away, trying to hide her laughter. Lizzie heard the noise and turned around. When she saw Alejandro, she smiled.
“All you need are suspenders and a straw hat,” she said. “You might even pass for Amish.”
“Hardly,” Amanda giggled.
“Amanda!” Her mother frowned at her. “Manners,” she whispered.
He held his arms out and looked down, turning slowly. “What’s so funny?”
“Even trying to be plain, you still look fancy,” Amanda said good-naturedly. She looked at him again, meeting his eyes. Her own were twinkling with mischief. “You would never fit in here, Alejandro.”
“Can’t blame a fellow for trying now, can you?” he replied with a wink.
“Now, now, let’s leave our guest alone,” Lizzie said, scowling at Amanda. “Remember that he’s the one who brought you home from that terrible city. I think a little more respect is in order, ja?” But when Lizzie turned back to the sink, Amanda stuck her tongue out at him. The playful gesture caught him off guard, and he started to laugh. Lizzie looked at him over her shoulder. Turning, she put her hands on her hips and gave him a fierce look, despite a smile on her face. “Not you too, now!”
Amanda gestured to him, trying to remain serious. “Mayhaps you’d rather help with the canning?”
He surveyed the room. There were lots of large silver bowls and clear jars on the table and counter. Lizzie was mixing spices with chopped beef, her strong arm moving the large wooden spoon to stir the mixture. “I suppose I can help if you tell me what to do,” he said.
Lizzie didn’t waste any time and immediately motioned toward the filled jars on the counter. “Gut then! Start by taking those into the canning room. Clear some space for more.” She watched while he did as instructed, carefully cradling eight jars in his arms, and headed for the outer room. “And bring back some more wide-mouthed canning jars from the pantry, ja?”
For the next hour, he helped pack the raw meat into the jars, laughing with Amanda, who teased him that he didn’t pack them tight enough. She showed him how to do it properly, pushing the meat down and sprinkling some salt on top before wiping the jar clean with a damp rag and twisting on a special canning lid. When they were finished with that task, Alejandro carried those jars into the outer room and returned with more empty ones.
“I love Mamm’s meatballs,” she confided in him as they began rolling meatballs and dropping them into the empty jars. She glanced at what he was doing and shook her head. “That one is too big,” she pointed out.
“¿Sí?” he asked, raising one eyebrow at her in question.
“Just pinch off a little bit and reroll it. Otherwise, it won’t cook evenly,” she explained. She reached over and showed him how, her fingers brushing against his. He glanced at her and smiled, that half smile that curled up just one side of his mouth. Blushing, she tossed the extra meat into the bowl and looked away. “Like that, ja?”
“I see,” he said, his voice teasing.
Boldly, she turned her head back and stared at him. There was something daring in her eyes. “Do you?” she said, her voice barely louder than a whisper. He raised an eyebrow at her tone and was glad that her mamm hadn’t heard. “I wonder about that, Alejandro.”
He couldn’t help himself. She was clearly flirting with him and flirting was what Viper did best. “What do you want me to see, Amanda?” he asked, his voice low and soft.
She blinked her eyes and met his gaze, refusing to falter as he stared back at her. “You don’t belong in that world of yours,” she boldly ventured. “Mayhaps that Viper does, but Alejandro doesn’t.” She lifted an eyebrow and tilted her head. “And I think you are more Alejandro than Viper, after all.”
Once again, her words stunned him. She was right. After years of playing the role, it was catching up to him. He was tired of acting, tired of being someone else. He was living a lie, and it was exhausting him. Viper would not have brought Amanda back to the farm. No, he would have sent her back to Lititz in a car service that would have been arranged by his people. Viper would not be milking cows at five in the morning. Instead, he’d be getting home from the clubs at that hour. And certainly Viper would not be canning beef with a young Amish woman, even if she were as remarkably beautiful as Amanda. More likely, he’d be trying to coax her into spending the night with him at a nearby motel.
He stood up and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. His heart was pounding inside his chest as he realized how profound and truthful her words really were. How could she, a simple farm girl by her own admission, have such a clear eye in assessing him? How could she cut through to the core of what his inner feelings were? Her ability to see through him unnerved him. She had hit it right on the nail, and that was an understatement.
“I think you have this under control, sí? I’ll go out to the barn. See what Elias is doing and if I can be of any help,” he managed. He couldn’t help but hear the catch in his own throat.
Amanda stared at the door, long after he had disappeared. She retreated into her thoughts, trying to imagine what his life was like performing onstage in big cities. She didn’t know much about that world, but she could dream. While she had never listened to music, not like other Amish youth on rumschpringe, she had heard music in the background at youth groups when they were gathered at volleyball games or for singings. Indeed, there was always a young person who had an iPod or a battery-operated music box, playing it to try to impress a girl. But personally, Amanda had ignored it. Music was worldly and something she didn’t really care to learn about. So she knew very little about the world of a famous rap star. Yet now, she could only dream.
She wondered why he was so interested in staying at the farm. Certainly he had a lot of obligations, important meetings with important people. But he seemed relaxed and at ease at her parents’ farm. The change in him was obvious, even to her. Even after such a short time.
Back in the city, he had always seemed to be too aware of his own behavior, too concise with his movements and words. His life appeared . . . orchestrated. He had seemed to relax a little as they had gotten to know each other, but nothing like he was now. He seemed lighthearted and carefree, as if the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders. She liked this new side of Alejandro, she realized.
She liked that he wasn’t so stiff, so obsessed with that little gadget he checked every few minutes. She liked that he was so easygoing and quick to laugh, even though he had just shuffled off rather quickly. But most of all, she liked those fe
w moments when he would talk just to her, sometimes touching her hand or her knee. She wasn’t used to being touched and certainly not by a man. Among the Amish, that was inappropriate. But when Alejandro did it, she felt pleasant chills course through her veins. Yes, she liked his attention most of all.
Smiling, she turned her thoughts back to the meatballs, rolling the fresh ground meat between her hands, Alejandro’s gentle touch on her skin still somehow lingering in her memory.
Chapter Eight
The next day followed the same routine. Alejandro awoke at five and helped with the morning milking. It was easier to get up that second day, and he didn’t seem to mind greeting the dawn before the sun rose. Indeed, he stood for a moment on the porch and stared at the bluish-gray skies. It was breaking dawn, and he found it inspiring to watch it happen. Usually he was heading back to bed at this hour, not starting his day.
The barn was quiet when he walked inside. The cows were already lined up and ready for their milking. Elias glanced up, greeting Alejandro with a simple head nod before returning to work. Looking around, Alejandro was relieved to not find Amanda also at work in the barn. Clearly, the visiting nurse had helped her realize that she needed to take it easy for a while. He just hoped that she kept listening and laying low.
During breakfast, Amanda seemed quiet and withdrawn. From time to time, she glanced at him but quickly looked away if he caught her gaze. He wondered about her shyness this morning, finding it charming after all that they had been through. They had spent a lot of time together in the past week, he realized. More time than he had spent with any single person in quite a long while. The people he usually met came and went quickly, mostly because of his own crazy schedule, but also because he just wasn’t interested in expanding his trusted circle of close friends. With Amanda, he realized, he felt different. She didn’t expect anything from him, and that was something he found refreshing.
After breakfast, Alejandro volunteered to help Elias in the fields. He was relieved when Elias smiled and thanked him. “Sure could use the help,” he had said.
Alejandro noticed that Amanda sighed at her father’s words and looked away.
For the rest of the morning, Elias and Alejandro worked at cutting the hay, the disk mower being pulled behind the team of four mules. Elias told him that the hay had to be left to dry in the sun for a few days before it would be baled. To bale it sooner was to risk having the barn catch fire because damp, smoldering hay was a fire hazard to any farm.
“Does that happen frequently?” Alejandro asked, wiping the sweat from his brow. He wondered when was the last time that he had worked so hard, and realized that he couldn’t remember. He didn’t count his endless concerts or interviews, despite the fact that it was, indeed, hard work. It was just not the same as laboring in the fields. He decided that it had been close to twenty years.
“Ja,” Elias said. “Young farmers just starting out often bale it too soon. They learn from experience. You hear about a barn or two burning each year.”
“What happens then?”
Elias shrugged casually. “We build them a new barn!”
“We?”
“The other farmers and the surrounding community.” Elias took off his straw hat and waved it back and forth to cool down his burning cheeks. “We take care of each other here.”
That surprised Alejandro. In his world, someone’s loss was another performer’s gain. It was rare to have true friends among the circuit. There were alliances, true. But, for the most part, it was every man for himself. Even the female performers were known to be cutthroat. These days, Alejandro was fortunate to be at the top of the food chain, which meant less need to battle others but always harboring a lingering concern about watching his back.
“Sure is gut to have some help,” Elias said, rubbing his brow and sliding his battered hat back onto his sweaty head. “A strong man in the fields is a blessing.” He smiled at Alejandro and clapped him on the back. “Company ain’t so bad, either!” It was clear that a friendship was rapidly forming between the two men: one for want of a father figure, and the other for want of a lost son.
“Who normally assists you?” Alejandro asked. Clearly, Elias owned a large farm, larger than one man could possibly handle by himself. From what little he knew about the Amish, they tended to have many children. Yet, it was clear that Elias and Lizzie had only conceived the three, and with the son having passed away, that left little help for Elias.
“The girls help,” he replied, leaning over to pick up a large rock that was half-buried in the soil. He tossed it as far away as he could. Looking back at Alejandro, he smiled, but there was a definite sadness to his expression. “My Amanda sure does work hard. As gut as any son, I reckon.”
But she’s not a son, Alejandro thought. “She’s a lovely young lady,” he said casually.
“Ja,” Elias agreed. “That she is. Make a wunderbar gut wife to an Amish man one day.” He gave a slight shake of his head. “If only . . .”
Alejandro raised an eyebrow. “If only what?”
“Ach vell, she has these ideas,” Elias said. “That she has to stay here to help us.” He paused, then added, “Help me, I reckon. Ever since Aaron . . .”
Elias didn’t finish the sentence. Alejandro respected his silence, feeling his pain. Several birds flew overhead, swooping down to collect some seeds from the cut timothy grass. A gentle breeze blew over the hill, and Alejandro shut his eyes, enjoying this newly found feeling of becoming so in tune with nature, even if only for a few seconds while Elias collected his thoughts.
Finally, Elias took a deep breath. “Vell, she seems much more lively these days, ever since that trip to Ohio. Must have done her some good to get away.” He started to walk toward the mules, grabbing the reins and leading them down the hill toward the farm. “Reckon the other one won’t be coming home at all.”
“Anna?” Alejandro inquired.
“Ja, Anna,” Elias said. “Reckon she found herself a young man out there who captured her fancy. As long as he’s a good Christian and follows the Plain way, I won’t be having no objections.” He smiled at Alejandro. “That’s just the way it works. The young need to live their own lives, ja?”
Back in the barnyard, Alejandro helped Elias unhitch the mules and put away the equipment. Both men remained deep in thought. Alejandro couldn’t stop thinking about what Elias had said about Amanda. Without a son and with Anna possibly staying in Ohio, Elias needed Amanda’s help to run the farm. That meant a limited opportunity for her to have a social life that might introduce her to young men for courting. He didn’t know the culture well enough to understand their approach to dating, but he did know that she didn’t seem interested in any men. No, he corrected himself. Not any Amish men.
It dawned on him why she had been quiet that morning, and he felt his own heart quicken. Indeed, he knew that she had grown too familiar with “Alejandro” and not enough with “Viper.” He sighed, suddenly realizing that, despite his own tender feelings for the young woman, hers may have taken a turn in a direction that needed to be changed. Unlike Amanda, he knew that Viper could walk away without looking back. But it was Alejandro who didn’t want to leave a broken heart behind.
Amanda was sitting on the porch when Alejandro returned from a late afternoon walk through the fields. Her leg was propped up on a chair while she folded laundry that had just been pulled off the clothesline stretching from the corner of the house to the near side of the barn. For a moment, he paused and watched her. Her head was bent down, a blue handkerchief covering her hair. She seemed to be humming while she worked, a slow and soft tune that kept her distracted. There was a radiance about Amanda, a softness in her expression. If he had thought she was a pretty girl before, he saw how truly beautiful she was at this moment.
Woman, he corrected himself.
It was hard to realize that she was, indeed, an attractive woman. She was
so different from the women who infiltrated his world. He leaned against the barn as he continued to watch Amanda. There was no comparison. She was pure and honest, beautiful on the inside as well as on the outside. He had learned that much about her in the short time that he had known her.
In his world, sophisticated women wore $1,500 dresses and $700 shoes in order to attract his attention. With fancy makeup and professionally coiffed hairstyles, these women wanted one and only one thing: to claim Alejandro as their own. But it wasn’t Alejandro, he reminded himself. It was Viper. The image of Viper caused women to do things that they were not raised to do. Too often, Alejandro had succumbed to their pretty faces and fashionable looks, taking them to big-profile clubs and parties, only to later end up in his hotel room. In the past, he hadn’t thought much about it. However, at this moment, he realized that he wasn’t proud of his past. Not now as he watched Amanda, sweet Amanda, sitting on a porch in the shade folding laundry with a soft tune on her lips.
“You scared me!” she said as he approached her.
He leaned against the porch railing, still watching her. Suspecting that the shine in her eyes was more than just friendship, Alejandro had to remind himself to pull back. But as he watched her, it was more difficult than he could have imagined. There was something so striking about Amanda, so endearing.
“Did I?” he asked, his voice soft.
She laughed. “Were you out walking, then?”
“Sí.”
“It’s beautiful, ja?” she asked, looking around at the fields. The sky was blue and the field green with grasses waving in the gentle breeze. The contrast in colors was glorious, and she smiled. “Now you can see for yourself why I think the city is so ugly.”
He didn’t respond right away, and after a few long seconds, she turned to look at him. The breeze caught a stray piece of hair and brushed it against her cheek. Her dark-brown eyes narrowed, just momentarily, as she met his gaze.