by Alex Lucian
“Let me help you with that,” I said while I knelt next to Scarlet on the floor.
“We should abort,” she whispered in my ear, gripping onto my knee.
“I’ll pick this up, just go grab a pack of Juicy Fruit or something and get it over with.”
“But he’s seen me,” Scarlet hissed back, flicking her eyes back up to what’s-his-name, who was scrolling through his phone and paying absolutely no attention to us.
With quick movements, I picked up the last chocolate bar and set it on the display. “Just go.”
Scarlet hopped up and made a horribly conspicuous beeline toward the gum. As I stood, I couldn’t stop shaking my head. Because it got worse. I don’t even know how, but it got worse.
While I fucked around by the cash register, asking the guy about what kind of iPhone he had, which thrilled him to no end, Scarlet decided to pace up and down the three aisles, giving us shifty looks every time she came around an end-cap.
“You think she’s okay?” the guy whispered at me when she disappeared past the Pringles for a third time.
“I highly doubt it,” I replied honestly.
Finally, thank you dear Lord, hallelujah, Scarlet exited the chip aisle and winked at me before walking out the door into the parking lot. She fucking winked at me. Honestly, there were no words.
“So,” the guy said, watching Scarlet as she bolted to where her car was parked around the corner, “how hard are you trying to get laid tonight?”
With a sigh, I pulled a twenty out of my wallet and passed it to him. “So hard that you can’t even imagine.”
I gave him a two-fingered salute and pushed from the door, groaning a little at the wall of heat that I walked into. But as soon as I turned the corner around the building, I was hit with a wall of a whole other kind.
The human kind.
Scarlet had launched herself at me, wrapping her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. She was laughing hysterically, and for a brief moment, I wondered whether she was having a mental breakdown.
“Leo, holy shit, that was amazing!” she said as she leaned backwards in my arms. “I just walked in, calm as can be—”
“—you knocked over half of the store. Literally. Half of it.”
“—and then I grabbed something that I didn’t pay for and I walked out! Of the store! And he had no idea!” She was smiling so big that I couldn’t help but smile back.
“My little felon. I’m so proud.”
Scarlet tipped her head back and laughed. My arms were braced firmly under her ass, but she wiggled for me to set her down on the sidewalk. As soon as I did, she did this adorable little dance thing. “I can’t believe I just did that.”
The Corner Store had just made roughly four thousand percent profit on whatever she’d stuck in her pocket, but I was absolutely not going to tell her that. Not if it put a smile like that on her face.
“We’re a good team, huh?” I asked, not even shy about the fact that I was searching for a compliment.
“It was all right, I suppose.” Ahh, there she was, coy Scarlet. The Scarlet that did weird things to my heart.
Instead of playing like she was, I leaned down so she had no choice but to meet my eyes. Then I grabbed the hem of her shirt, right where it skirted her flat stomach, and used it to pull her toward me. “You’ve got to see how fun this could be. You and me. Making our way through that list.”
When I all but growled the last part, her mouth parted and her pupils dilated. “I know.”
“Come on, Scarlet.” Then I straightened. “Wait … you know?”
She bit her bottom lip and nodded up at me. “I knew before I texted you yesterday.”
“You little tease.” I shook my head and laughed. “So now what? Do I get to pick what’s next?”
Scarlet turned and practically skipped to her car. “Nope. My list, my choice.”
“And when are we starting this?” Hopefully in her post-fake-shoplifting high, she wouldn’t hear the tinge of desperation in my voice.
“Tomorrow, Leo,” she answered, before she got in the car. “We start tomorrow.”
Chapter Twenty
I brushed away the condensation that had collected on the mirror from my totally luxurious twenty-minute shower and scrutinized my reflection. I held my hair up from my neck, trying to decide how to wear it. I thought I had a pretty neck, speckled with freckles. Just as I pulled the elastic from around my wrist to tie my hair up, I heard Blowjob Jenny’s voice in my head, threw the elastic off my wrist and across the bathroom in a very excessive reaction.
“Shit,” I whispered.
In truth, I wasn’t sure if inviting Liza over had been a good idea or not, especially because she’d volunteered Blowjob Jenny to instruct me on how to give great fellatio. When I’d opened my door and saw both of them on my doorstep, my stomach sank all the way to the mat under their feet.
“Hey, babe!” Jenny exclaimed, smacking the gum in her mouth as she gave me a fuchsia-lipsticked grin. “Ready to talk about sucking dick?”
“Um…” I looked at Liza with a you’re-trying-to-embarrass-me-aren’t-you look. “Yeah, let’s do this.”
“Great.” Jenny breezed past me and into my house, making herself right at home.
“Jenny?” I whispered to Liza as I closed the door behind her. “Really?”
“If you’re going to make his blowjob dreams come true, you might as learn from the master, right?”
“I was thinking you could kind of ease me into what to do, but no. Bring the Academy Award Winner of Oral Sex to my house and expect me not to be freaking intimidated?”
“Get over it.” Liza grabbed my arm and dragged me into the living room, where Jenny was currently looking over my dad’s collection of vinyl records.
“Dude, your dad is old school,” she said, pulling out a record.
“Well, he is old,” I acknowledged as she flipped the record over.
“This vinyl is legit.” She held it up for me to check it out. It was The Coasters Greatest Hits record. “There’s a sexy song on this record, perfect for a strip tease.”
“Ah,” I said, looking at Liza, wondering what exactly she had told Jenny I needed help with. “I’ve never listened to that record in particular.”
“Have you ever seen Death Proof? There’s this sexy scene with ‘Down in Mexico’ in the background. It’s a kick ass song. You should listen to it.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said, sitting carefully onto the couch across from the record player.
“Right, let’s talk cock.” Jenny rose from the floor and brought her bag with her to the couch. “You’re really pretty,” she said, cocking her head to the side so her brown hair slid over her shoulder.
“Thanks.”
“I can’t believe you’ve never given a blow job before.”
“Uh…”
“That’s okay, I’m good at this.” She brushed her hair from her shoulders as if she was prepping herself for something serious. “Let’s talk the don’ts first. I think the don’ts are easier to remember.”
“Oh, I have a good don’t,” Liza said, shifting in her seat like a kid eager to be called upon in class. “Don’t use teeth.”
“Right,” Jenny said with a nod. “Unless you know he likes that. Some dudes are ultra-sensitive,” her eyes went wide, “and a nibble on his clam digger will spell disaster.”
“Clam digger?”
Liza laughed. “His penis, Scarlet.”
What was I thinking, entertaining this lesson on how to suck a penis? I looked at Liza with embarrassment all over my face but she shrugged.
“Look, Scarlet, if you’re going to be embarrassed by a sweet little penis nickname, you’re in for a very long night of red cheeks and nervous ticks like gnawing on your lip.”
“She’s right.” Jenny nodded but seemed sympathetic about it. “I have all sorts of nicknames for that little fuck puppet.”
I wanted to cover my face, questioning myself
for wanting to go through with this. But Liza was right. If just talking about … penis … was making me want to clam—a word I’d never not be able to associate with penis again—up, I was going to be in for a very difficult night.
“Okay, fine. I’m sorry. This is just so weird for me.”
“It’s a dick in your mouth, it’s supposed to be weird.” Jenny’s laugh made me laugh too. “Okay, another don’t. If you’re going to be brave and try to deep throat it, stop if you gag. No guy wants vomit all over his business.”
“No deep-throating, check.”
“Don’t ignore the balls, either.” Jenny held her palm up, fingers cupped. “You gotta give them attention. God didn’t make them just to hang in the wind.” She mimicked squeezing with her fingers, nodding to make sure I was paying attention.
“When he’s close, tug on them gently,” Liza added.
“How will I know when he’s getting close?”
“Oh,” Jenny said with a throaty laugh. “You’ll know.”
I wasn’t too sure about that, but I figured they knew what they were talking about. “Okay. Play with the balls.”
“Here,” Jenny said reaching her hand in her bag and coming out with a tin of peppermints. “Suck on one of these before you go down. It’ll give a really great cool and tingly sensation.” I stared at the tin once she placed it in my hand. “But don’t go crazy and chew up a dozen of them or something, or else his vagina miner is gonna be on fire.”
Vagina miner?
“Hey, great rhyme,” Liza said holding her hand up for Jenny.
“Thanks!” Jenny beamed and gave her a high-five. “I’ve got a whole bag of tricks and nicknames in my arsenal.” She turned back to me. “Okay, dudes like it when you breathe on them, and then blow on them.”
“There’s a difference?”
“Sure there is.” Jenny grabbed my wrist and held it up to her mouth. Making her mouth into the shape of an ‘O’ she breathed onto my skin. “See? It’s warm. But if you narrow your lips and do this,” she puckered her lips so that there was just a small opening and blew over that spot again, “it’s cooler.”
She was right, I could feel the difference and was surprised by it. “Huh. Interesting.”
“What are you going to wear?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. A dress or something?”
“Make sure the top is easily accessible, that your hair is down,” Jenny said, “and don’t wear underwear,” she added, like she was listing directions for baking a cake.
“Why?”
“He’s going to want to play with you while you’re going down on him. Men are tactile creatures, he’s going to want to touch just as much as you’ll want him to. And not wearing underwear is an instant confidence booster—and makes you look like you’ve got a secret that he wants in on.”
“Okay, so why do I have to wear my hair down? Won’t it get in the way?”
“Oh, definitely. But if you keep your hair down, you can whip it around his belly and then peek up at him from in between the strands,” she’d said. “It’ll overwhelm his senses, sight and touch.”
That all seemed doable, so I nodded, trying not to imagine Leo’s face as I visualized doing all of these things to him.
“There’s all sorts of things you can do to change the intensity, like sucking on popsicles before sucking on his popsicle, drinking hot tea, drizzling honey—if you’re into the sticky. Even those candies that pop in your mouth can work as long as you’re not going to let him plow you after, because gross.”
“I didn’t know there were so many ways to do this.”
“That’s what keeps it exciting!” Liza said, finally adding her thoughts. “But remember, you’re trying to suck his dick, not have a meal on it.”
“Right. Honestly, all the tools you need are your mouth and hands. Just relax. He’ll tell you what he likes as you go along.” She held up a finger. “But if you wanna look like a porn star? Spit on it.”
“Spit?”
“Yeah. Not like you’re coughing up a loogie, but you’re letting all the saliva pool in your mouth and then aim and spit right on it. Guaranteed he’ll think you’re a rock star.” She winked at me. “I promise.”
Suddenly, the nerves kicked in and I started considering talking myself out of doing this.
As if she could sense my turmoil, Liza wrapped an arm around me. “It’s just a dick, Liza. It’s not going to bite you. It’s got a treasure trove of nerve endings. As long as you don’t eat it, you can’t really fuck it up.”
And there I was, hours later, staring at my reflection in the mirror as I contemplated what the hell I was doing. Leo was coming over in a couple minutes, but he didn’t know what for just yet. When I’d looked over my list, it was between public sex and oral sex and I decided on the latter because the former seemed like something that should be spontaneous, not orchestrated.
After drying my hair straight and really going to town on my eye makeup as Jenny had suggested, I found solace for my nerves in my mom’s cabinet downstairs. Pulling down the vodka was like making a decision to truly do this. It wasn’t until the moment I’d decided on the bottle of clear liquid that I had really committed to telling Leo I wanted to go down on him.
With shaking hands, I poured the first shot and picked it up before I could tell myself no.
A knock on the sliding glass door made me jump, causing me to spill vodka on the island. “Hey,” Leo said when he entered. He was wearing jeans and a button-up shirt, its sleeves rolled up and showing off his deliciously muscular forearms.
Despite spilling some of the vodka on the island, I held onto the shot and tossed it back before letting myself say hi back to him.
“Just knocking on your back door again,” he joked and I coughed, a flame of alcohol licking up my throat. “Hey,” he said, coming over and patting my back. “I know anal isn’t on your bucket list, so relax. It was a joke.”
I nodded. “I know.” I picked up the vodka and poured a second shot, not ready yet to meet his blue eyes. “Want some?” I said, and without waiting for his answer, I grabbed another shot glass and poured him a shot right along with me.
“Straight vodka?” he asked, picking up the shot. “You’re pretty serious aren’t you.”
I nodded, braced my hands on the island as my hair shook around me. “I need a little bit of liquid courage.”
“All right then. To the bucket list.”
I raised my head, met his stare head-on. His blue eyes were warm and friendly and I was sure he saw nerves in mine. He was holding the glass up near his mouth and suddenly, it was all I could look at—those lips and his smile.
“Okay,” I agreed and held my glass up. We took our shots together and as soon as I set my now-empty glass on the counter, I picked up the bottle of vodka again.
“Hold it,” he said, covering my hand with his on the bottle. He was warm and the liquor was warming me from the inside out. “Tell me what’s going on—pretty sure we already tackled the ‘get drunk’ part on your bucket list.”
I wished the liquor would soothe my nerves more quickly, but since it hadn’t and since Leo was staring at me expectantly, I let go of the vodka bottle but grabbed his upper arm, needing to have some kind of tether to him to keep myself from dissolving into a vodka-sauced bundle of nerves. “I want to give you a blowjob,” I said quickly before I could tell him something different. I quickly looked at the floor beneath us, taking in his dark shoes and my bare feet.
“Hey,” he said, hand on my chin. “Look at me.”
Reluctantly, I let him pull my face up so we were looking each other right in the eyes.
“Don’t be embarrassed,” he said, which only made my cheeks flush even more. “And don’t be anxious. We can do this, but we don’t have to.”
I stared at him as his words sunk in. Even though I still wasn’t sure what I was going to do, knowing that Leo was patient and kind made me feel like I could trust him to help me with this, without sacri
ficing my dignity.
“No, I want to do it,” I said, because I did. I’d only gotten a peek at his goods the weekend before, but I knew that if anyone could teach me, it would be Leo.
“Are you sure?”
“Don’t say that,” I said, my voice a little higher pitched than usual. “Or you’ll make me even more nervous than I already am.”
“Okay,” he said, holding his palms up. “But let me do something first.”
His mouth came closer, his head dipped, and he captured my lips with his a second later. I sank into the kiss, letting him soothe me with his lips on mine and his arms coming around my waist. His arms squeezed, and I marveled at how he knew just how to make me feel at ease with him. How to make me feel safe.
Then he pulled back, thumbs coming to caress my jaw line. “Let’s go upstairs,” he said, his mouth against mine but not kissing.
“Okay,” I whispered back.
Chapter Twenty-One
Before I could inhale, Leo lifted me up so I was sitting on the kitchen counter.
“Here, grab on,” he said, turning around so that he was backed up the counter. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he carried me, piggyback style, all the way up the stairs. I laughed, feeling like the young adults we were, not so overwhelmed by the gravity of what I’d chosen to do tonight.
The moment he hit the landing, he eased me down and then turned around, grabbing my face with a hand and slamming our mouths together. He tasted like mint and citrus, and the combination made me grab onto him tighter. I tried pulling him in closer, but we were already as close as we could be, lips and teeth and tongues clashing.
My fingers found the front of his shirt and with a calm I didn’t know I possessed, I began unbuttoning the shirt, running my nails over the skin I was revealing with each new button undone.