by Alex Lucian
“I know,” she said lightly, regarding me over the rim of her mug. “What if I give you your Christmas present early?”
“It’s July.”
“Very early, then.”
I leaned up against the counter, trying to stifle the frustration at still standing there when I wanted to be leaving, getting there as quickly as possible. “Okay, what’s my Christmas present?”
“Your father and I will buy you a plane ticket. I’ll book it while you go throw some things in a bag, but you better promise me you won’t bitch on Christmas Eve when you have nothing to open.”
I grinned, yanking her up from the table so I could wrap her in a hug. “You got it. I don’t even care that this entire conversation makes me feel like I’m fifteen and you just gave me permission to go have a sleepover.”
She laughed and cupped the side of my face. Her skin was still warm from holding her coffee mug. And then she blinked rapidly, her blue eyes looking shiny and wet. “No matter what she feels about you showing up there today, I’m proud of you. You may be a gigantic pain in my ass sometimes, especially when you’re off crashing cars, but this is a moment where I will gladly claim you in public.” Then she pecked me on the cheek and pushed me away. “Now go pack. And don’t forget to take some clean underwear!”
“I am absolutely going to pretend like you didn’t just say that to me,” I called over my shoulder while I fucking ran from the kitchen. I took the stairs three at a time, feeling a sense of relief for the first time since Scarlet ran from my room.
Chapter Thirty-One
The drive to Logan was a blur, the flight felt even faster, and by the time the plane jolted to the runway at Reagan National Airport, I felt like I’d been awake for about three days straight. I should have tried to sleep on the relatively short flight in, but my brain never stopped. And of course, one of the things that it kept looping around my head was that Coach was probably ready to string me up. By the time I landed, workouts had already started, so he knew I was a no-show.
Since I hadn’t checked a bag, I left the plane and jogged to the airport entrance to flag a taxi.
“MedStar Washington, please,” I said to the cab driver, who didn’t give me a response, just accelerated from the curb so fucking fast that I lurched to the side of the car. “Yeah, no problem, I’ll just buckle up a second before I die.”
I was just pulling my phone out to call Coach when his name magically appeared on the screen.
“Shit,” I whispered before bringing the phone up to my ear. “Hey, Coach, I was just about to call you.”
“You better hope you were about to call me. Because I’m staring across this field and don’t see the one person I should see out of the whole damn team. Where the hell are you, Madsen?”
“Well,” I said, grabbing onto the handle in the ceiling of the car while the cab took a hard right, “it’s kind of an emergency situation, and I just landed in DC.”
“What the hell?” Then he moved his mouth away from the phone to bark at someone on the field. “Move your ass, Johnson!”
“I know.” I dropped my head back onto the cheap material of the head rest. “It’s a … a friend of mine, and her dad had a stroke yesterday. And I just need to be here for her.”
He was quiet on the other end of the phone, which probably should have made me nervous. But it just erased any doubts I might have had about whether I was doing the right thing.
“Coach, I know this isn’t okay, but I had to make a choice this morning, and I’m choosing to be there for someone who I care a great deal about. And if you need to bench me for a game or two at the beginning of the season, then do it. I’ll own up to whatever consequences you might have for me.” I could hear him breathing through the receiver, and I blew out a breath. “Look, you always tell us to act like men, that if we want to be respected, then we have to act in a way that demands it first. And I’m trying to do something that will let her know that I respect her more than anything else right now, and I’ll be there for her no matter what. Isn’t that what a man would do?”
“Oh for crying out loud, Madsen, save the sermon. I’m not gonna bench you.” Then he cleared his throat. “But yes, that’s what a man would do. You made a good choice, kid. But you better believe I’m gonna work your ass into the ground when you get back.”
I laughed. “Yes, Coach. That’s fine with me. And thank you. I appreciate it.”
When I hung up, the taxi screeched to a halt underneath a huge metal, concrete and glass overhang. Tent-like peaks of glass made the sun filter through to the pavement in odd shimmers when I stepped out. I handed the driver his cash and slipped my backpack over my shoulders.
I wandered through the large doors and into the sprawling lobby until I found the information desk. While I waited behind an elderly woman looking for information on her granddaughter, I had a moment of pause. My mom had told me he was in the ICU, but wouldn’t they restrict that to immediate family? While the women ahead of me continued to talk, I leaned around and was very relieved to see a woman that was probably in her late seventies manning the desk.
Old ladies? They fucking loved me. A flash of the dimples and a genuinely spoken compliment, and they’d give me just about anything I wanted. When it was my turn, I gave her a small smile.
“I love that pin you’re wearing; it looks exactly like something my mother has.”
She looked at me over the edge of her purple rimmed glasses. “No need for flattery, Dimples. Just tell me what you need.”
“Ah, right.” I rocked back on my heels. “The room number for Robert Jennings please, he’s in the ICU, I’m just not positive which room.”
“And your relation to the patient?” She clicked away on her keyboard, no longer looking at me.
“Son-in-law,” I said easily, very fucking glad I’d tucked both hands into the front pockets of my jeans in case she decided to look for a ring.
“So that would make…” she trailed off, raising an eyebrow at me. Okay, she wasn’t dicking around.
“Scarlet Jennings. His daughter, that would make her my wife.” I smiled. “She kept her last name, obviously. She’s very independent.”
“Obviously,” she said, but gave me a genuine smile, and then handed me a slip of paper with the information I needed. Careful to use my right hand to take it out of her outstretched hand, I thanked her and headed in the direction of the ICU.
The hospital was busy, and I had to slow my pace around families with strollers and crying young kids yanking on their parents’ hands. People carrying handfuls of balloons and bouquets of flowers gave me apologetic smiles when they walked in front of me.
Oh shit, was I supposed to bring flowers? Or balloons?
No. I shook my head and followed the signs toward his room. If Scarlet saw me clutching a handful of balloons, she’d probably question my sanity. As would I.
“Leo?” I turned at the sound of Mrs. Jennings voice to my right.
“Ahh, Mrs. Jennings. Hi.” Lame. I sounded so lame.
“Leo.” She shook her head. “What are you doing here?”
I closed my eyes. Honesty. She deserved honesty. “I wanted to be here for your daughter. And you, if you need it.”
Her mouth dropped open, but she recovered quickly. I’d never seen her looking so disheveled, so tired. Her face was free of make-up, the wrinkles around her eyes more pronounced under the harsh lighting of the hospital. “Good. That’ll be good for her.”
“How’s your husband?”
“Stable, thank God. We thought he might need a stent put in after his heart attack, but there wasn’t enough blockage in his arteries. He’s still got some weakness on the left side of his body, and his speech is slurred, but the doctors are optimistic about that fading.”
“Good.”
We stared at each for a second before she smiled. “How did you get the room number?”
“Ummm, well, apparently I’m your son-in-law today. But don’t tell Scarlet, because she mig
ht strangle me to death with a hospital robe.”
She laughed, then reached out to give me a brief hug. I patted her back a little awkwardly. “Oh, that feels wonderful. I haven’t laughed in two days. Thank you, Leo.”
“Sure, no problem.”
Glancing down at her full coffee cup, she looked up and gave me another smile. “You know what? I’ll just drink this down here for a while. Give you a few minutes before I intrude.”
“You don’t have to do that; I don’t want to keep you from your husband.”
But she shook her head, already turning to go back into the cafeteria. “The change of scenery will do me good, don’t you worry.”
I thanked her and turned to keep walking. The whole thing felt like a Twilight Zone moment. In a hospital I wasn’t familiar with, heading toward a woman that I wasn’t even sure wanted to see me, and I was perfectly content with it. All of it. Scarlet may still be mad at me, then I’d wait around the corner, out of sight, until she wasn’t. That’s what felt weirdest of all—that I wasn’t the slightest bit uncertain about whether I should be there anymore.
When I turned the next corner, I saw her. The seating area was fairly empty, and she was curled into an overstuffed chair, her knees tucked into her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs. She looked so small, so pale, that my chest felt tight and achy. All I wanted to do was wrap myself around her until I knew she was warm and happy.
She didn’t see me approach, probably used to the bustle of the hospital around her. Her eyes were staring blankly ahead until I crouched down next to the chair.
“Scarlet?”
Her face snapped over to me, eyes wide and confused. “Leo?”
She unfolded her legs, and I set a hand on her knee once her feet hit the ground. “How are you doing, church girl?”
Then she crumpled, dropping her head into her hands, quiet sobs shaking her slim shoulders.
“Oh shit, I already screwed it up, didn’t I?” I muttered to myself, rubbing a hand down her back. Then she lifted her head and wiped under her nose. She looked so sad and beautiful, smears of mascara under her tired-looking eyes.
“You really came?” She sniffled.
I nodded, smoothing her hair down with my palm. “Is that okay?”
In answer, she pushed from the chair and sank down on o the floor next to me, immediately curling into my arms. I held her tightly as she cried her quiet, contained tears, and it still didn’t feel tight enough. If it had been possible, I would have pressed her under my skin if it would have made her feel better.
“Shhh, it’s okay,” I whispered against her hair. “It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere, Scarlet. I promise.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
When I finally lifted my head and met his eyes, I searched them for a trace of the anger he should have felt for me. At the very least, he should be—and had every right to be—annoyed. I’d blamed him in the heat of the moment, when I’d been in such a hurry to leave, for distracting me all summer. As if he’d been an inconvenient presence.
But his eyes were clear, holding only concern. And the relief that moved through me was so thick that it coated the grief I’d worn like a second skin the last twenty-four hours. “I can’t believe you’re really here.”
He nodded, pushed the hair from my face, grazing the tips of his fingers across my cheeks. “I tried to get my mom to give up the car, but no dice.”
“She’s pretty smart.”
“I know. It’s annoying.”
I laughed then and the hand holding the hair from my face squeezed gently. God, it felt good to laugh. “Why’d you come?”
“Because I couldn’t sleep. And if I’m not going to be able to sleep because I’m worrying about you, I’d rather be with you than away from you. That’s the selfish reason.”
My heart squeezed and I found it suddenly difficult to swallow. “There’s more than one reason?”
“The other is that I wanted to be someone you could count on. If you need me.” He seemed to struggle with what he was saying. “If you need me, I want to be here for you.”
I didn’t say anything then, just placed my hand over his where he held my head. I squeezed his hand. I knew we had a lot to talk about but I didn’t want to do those things here.
“Scarlet, would you mind grabbing us some dinner?”
I looked up and found my mom standing a few feet away. Initially, I wanted to move from the way Leo and I held each other, because there was no way my mother could misinterpret our comfort with one another as two completely platonic friends. But I stopped myself from pulling away from Leo. I wanted her to see him and me, together. Get used to the idea maybe, as I was just getting used to it myself.
“Sure,” I said. “What do you want?”
She pulled her keys out of her pocket and handed them to Leo, as if she understood that where I went, Leo would follow. “Just whatever.” She looked to Leo, smiled gently, and then looked at me.
Leo stood first and reached a hand toward me. I couldn’t think about my mom and the way she looked at me as I placed my hand in Leo’s and let him pull me to standing.
My mom stepped forward, her face smoother than it had been all day. She wrapped her arms around me and I used the one hand that wasn’t clasped with Leo’s to wrap around her back as I patted her.
“I’m happy for you,” she whispered in my ear before pulling away.
I drew my eyebrows together as I searched her face, but then Leo was tugging me down the hall, toward the elevators.
“Are you upset?” he asked once he’d pressed the button for the elevator.
“Upset?”
“That I’m here?”
“No.” It slipped quickly and easily from my lips. “Are you kidding?”
“It was a bit presumptuous of me to assume you’d even want me here.”
“Presumptuous,” I said with a raise of my eyebrow.
“I’ve been reading the dictionary again.” He smiled and, God, his very presence was so comforting that I asked myself why I’d danced around him so much, why I’d fought with him over insignificant things.
“I’m surprised by how happy I am that you’re here,” I told him once we were on the elevator, alone.
“You’re surprised?” He was still holding my hand and I used it to pull him a little closer to me.
“I didn’t know that just having you here would settle me the way it has.” It took a lot for me to admit that, but it shouldn’t have. He’d traveled all this way to be here for me—a grand gesture that spoke louder than even his words could. “You’re just what I needed.”
He smiled at that, shifted our hands so that our fingers weaved together. “I just have one question.”
“What’s that?”
“Where are we supposed to be going?” He pointed to the panel, and it was then that I saw he’d pressed buttons for every floor.
“You just had to touch them all didn’t you?”
“You shouldn’t sound so surprised.”
I shook my head and when the elevator stopped on the correct floor, I pulled him out of it, giving an apologetic look to the people who boarded after us. As we crossed the bridge into the parking garage, my entire heart was so much lighter. I knew we’d have a lot to talk about, but the fact that he was here spoke volumes to me.
“Let me drive,” Leo insisted when we’d located my mom’s SUV.
“No freaking way,” I said, reaching for the keys.
“I won’t crash it.”
I raised an eyebrow, skeptical. “How can I believe that?”
“Because I’m driving you. I don’t have a need to be reckless.”
He said it so earnestly that I forgot for a second why we were in D.C. together. We were just Scarlet and Leo, arguing about who got to drive the car.
“Okay,” I relented. “But please be careful. My mother has creative punishments if you crash her car.”
Leo opened my door, nodded solemnly. “I remember.”
&n
bsp; “You remember?”
He closed the door and went around to the driver’s side door. “Our moms have always been in cahoots. Once, in high school, I cut class to…” he looked at me sheepishly and I didn’t need him to explain why, not when I imagined it was the fault of another girl. I merely rolled my eyes and encouraged him to continue. “Well, my mom brought me to your dad’s church during spring break and told your mom, ‘Here’s your helper. He doesn’t want to be in school, so he gets to work instead.’” Leo shuddered. “Worst spring break ever.”
I laughed. “I can imagine.” I directed Leo out of the parking lot and settled back in the seat as the air conditioning turned on.
“Your dad’s awake now?”
I nodded. “He woke up late last night. He seems to understand everything, but is still working on communicating with us.” There had been an audible sigh when he’d opened his eyes and squeezed my mom’s hands. It was the first noise I’d heard from her all night and when she’d whispered to him, I’d pretended to be asleep on the hospital sofa, to give them privacy. “I’m guessing we’ll go home in a few days.”
“I’m glad. For selfish reasons.” He smiled over at me, and I’d be a big fat liar if I said that his dimpled cheeks didn’t do something for me.
“After we get dinner, do you want to go somewhere and talk?”
Leo nodded as he pulled into the drive-thru of the closest restaurant. “I’d like that a lot.”
* * *
After bringing my mom dinner, I told her I’d be staying in the hotel room she’d reserved the day before, because it was close to the hospital and had an actual bed. So far, we’d both only slept there for a couple hours, in rotations while the other one stayed at the hospital.
“I’ll pull out the sofa here tonight,” my mom said, gesturing to the couch behind her. It made my cheeks color a little, thinking of what my mom must have assumed about Leo and me, and why she’d chosen to stay at the hospital that night instead of coming along to the room later.
But I didn’t dwell on it too much as I let Leo and myself into the room. We both fell onto the bed closest to the window, side by side, staring at the ceiling. “I’m exhausted,” I said with a yawn.