by H. M. Ward
Eric didn’t know what she was doing, and before he figured it out, her lips were on his. He froze, feeling a surge of emotions flood his body, emotions that were good and pure. It stunned him, making him freeze in place. His eyes remained on her face, watching her long lashes as she kissed him. It wasn’t until she pulled away that she opened her eyes and gazed at him.
He began to sit up, but she held up her hand, “No. Eric, stay there. Stare at the light. It seems to be something you need.” Leaning back on his elbows he watched her, surprised again. Her fingers plucked the front of the shirt she was wearing. She blushed slightly and looked down, “Is there somewhere I can change?” She knew Eric saw her naked, and for some reason it bothered her even though it shouldn’t, not if she worked at a brothel, but her cheeks burned. She couldn’t suppress it, couldn’t hide it. When did things change? Was it last night? Or did it happen ages ago and she never noticed? Assuming he was her mother’s assassin all this time, well, she thought that was the reason why she stayed. But maybe it wasn’t. Maybe there was something more.
He nodded and told her where to find extra clothes. There was running water down the hall. She didn’t ask how he did it, but Natalia knew he was the reason why there was running water and a shower in a pile of rubble. There was no one like Eric.
CHAPTER TWELVE
When Natalia dried off she found Eric perched on the stone again. This action confused her. It was times like this that made her hesitate. What if she was wrong about him? The only way she could know for sure was if she found that legendary book—the Book of Days. The angels said their eldest warrior created a book, but that it burned with him when he fell. From what Natalia had seen, stories like that held a thread of truth. She’d linked the pieces together and followed a trail that led directly to Eric, though she wasn’t sure why. It didn’t matter. The book was real and it would reveal everything, if she could get her hands on it. But he’d hidden the damn thing and it was going on three years and she couldn’t find it. Hell, she’d never even seen it. Maybe he wasn’t the man she thought he was. Maybe he was just some screwed up solider who defected during the war. He sure acted like it at times. Eric made her fear for her life, or at least he wanted her to. And it didn’t matter how hard she tried to fear him, she couldn’t. It wasn’t like that with him and her. It never was.
Natalia crossed the room. A carpet surrounded the bed, but rubble littered the rest of the floor. It seemed to be the way Eric liked it. It was as if his bed was in the middle of a cave crafted by God himself. That’s what she thought the window was to him, it was something that altered the light and made it good. The longing on his face made her stomach churn. Why would he want to be different? After all this time, what would change his mind?
Eric looked over at her and she offered a weak smile. Her wet hair was pulled into a knot and laying at the base of her neck. She wore another of Eric’s shirts and a pair of shorts. They fit her and she wondered why he had them, but didn’t ask. “Thanks.”
“Any time,” his voice was soft. Something was happening to him. She didn’t think he could see it, but he wasn’t the same as when he first met her. She needed to find that book.
Natalia waited half a beat, and asked, “Are you going back to Carina’s?” She shouldn’t have asked. She didn’t want to know that about him, she didn’t want to see it or hear about it, and yet, she asked. Eyes on the floor, she kept her gaze lowered when she felt his gaze land on the side of her face.
His voice was a whisper, “Do you want me to?”
What kind of question was that? She glanced up at him, her eyebrows in her hairline, “No, of course I don’t want you to.”
Eric smiled shyly. It was so unlike him, so soft. “And why’s that?”
Natalia started swinging her legs, the floor of her stomach was falling away like she was kicked down an elevator shaft. “Why do you think?”
Eric placed his hands behind him, pulled his legs up, and leaned back, his taught muscles outlined by his dark shirt. “I don’t pretend to think anything. I don’t have the best luck when it comes to figuring out what you’re thinking.”
She breathed in deeply once, and glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, “Obviously.” She laughed lightly, curling her toes, staring down at her bare feet. “I’d like it if you stayed with me today… if you don’t need to sate something.” There she said it. Why was that so hard? He didn’t matter to her. He didn’t.
Eric was gazing at the side of her face, his breathing relaxed. He trusted her. She could sense it. He laughed. It bubbled up from his stomach and joy burst through in his voice, “To sate something? Is that your weird way of asking if I’m horny? Or are you asking if you’re safe?”
Natalia’s brow pinched. She turned her head, looking over at him. “It’s not a weird question. You didn’t get what you went there for, which would make me think…” he cut her off.
“That I couldn’t control myself and would go running back to Carina’s and beg for another girl this morning?” He shook his head, golden hair falling in his eyes. Eric didn’t like her question. It inferred so many things about him, none of which he wanted to hear. The corners of his mouth pulled into a crooked smile, “What you must think of me?”
That was the million dollar question—what did she think of him? Natalia didn’t know anymore. At one time things were clear, but not now. What the hell was wrong with him?
Before she had time to think, she found herself speaking, answering a question that had no clear answer, “I think you’re lost. That’s what I think of you. That’s what it is at your very core, but it’s so much more than that, too.” Eric’s gaze locked with hers, his jaw tensing as she spoke. “You’ve lost more than you care to admit. And you’ve found ways to ease your pain, but they don’t help for long. They make you think you can’t be what you were, but that’s not true is it?” His gold eyes narrowed as they flashed at her. Eric was breathing hard, his nostrils flaring, hating every word she said. She sensed it. A few more words would shatter him.
She bit her tongue, and changed directions, blindsiding him, “I’m not a virgin. I don’t know what you think of me, but I’m not Little Miss Purity. I never was…”
Eric’s expression faltered. The disgust he felt toward himself sank back into his belly. What was she talking about? He gripped the altar with his fingers, dragging his nails into the stone to keep himself still. “Nat, you don’t have to tell me anything. I don’t care why you were at Carina’s or what you do, as long as it doesn’t kill you.” He watched her face, wondering what she was thinking, hoping she’d tell him even though his words said otherwise. Tension built between the two of them. Eric’s heart raced in his chest, but he maintained the same placid expression as before. It seemed to infuriate her, and he had to admit that he liked that at times.
Natalia wanted to slap him. How could he act so cool and calm? He was playing with her, teasing her. He had to be. Part of her wished he’d cross the room and tell her why she was important to him—why he kept saving her. Tilting her head, she asked sweetly, “And will you keep protecting me? When I throw myself at some ass that wants to hurt me, and I want him to, what will you do?” Say it! Her mind was screaming, but Eric wouldn’t budge.
“If that’s what you want. Who am I to criticize what gets you off?” He flashed a crooked grin at her, although the thought of her being with someone else made his skin crawl. He leaned forward, sliding off the stone. “Last night’s over. It’s a new day. I’m not spending it here rehashing what happened. If you don’t care that I have certain lusts—that I will not partake in with you—then why don’t we go do something fun?” He held out his hand to her. Natalia looked at his pale palm. She wanted to take it. She wanted to go with him, even though her gut told her no.
Reaching out she took his hand, and nodded, “Let’s go.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Eric took her to the street where she waited for him. The sound of a rumbling engine rounded the corn
er and she grinned. Eric was straddling a motorcycle. He navigated the bike through the rubble and stopped in front of her. “Get on,” he said. Natalia realized she’d have to touch him and hold on tight. She liked bikes, but Eric made her heart hurt. Ignoring the sensations, she grabbed his waist and flung her leg over the back of the bike.
“Where are we going?” she asked, tying her hair back so it wouldn’t blind her as they rode.
“Beach.”
She stopped, dropping her hands from her hair. “I don’t have a swimming suit.”
A mischievous grin spread across Eric’s face, “I know.” With that he revved the engine, and Natalia pressed herself tightly to his back. He handed her a pair of sunglasses and the two of them rode out of the city. The further they got from Rome, the less decimated the landscape became. Eric navigated the bike slowly at first, careful not to send them flying if he hit a hole, but once they were outside the city walls, he punched it and they flew.
After the war, people realized that their only hope of survival was to band together. Very few families still resided outside cities, in the unprotected countryside. Natalia turned her face and pressed her cheek to Eric’s back, watching the abandoned landscape as it flew by. Part of her was elated. The other part was terrified.
Eric could feel the pulsing fear moving through her body as Natalia held onto him harder. Out of all the things that frightened the girl—a motorcycle—really? But she was spooked, he could feel her heart pounding inside of her little body. Part of him hoped it was the swimming naked comment, but he thought there was more to her than that. She didn’t even blush when he said it, which made him think she’d done it before. Natalia said she wasn’t a virgin, and he believed her—and he didn’t care. Eric kept telling himself that, but he couldn’t deny the way he felt when he was with her. The thought worried him, but it was too late now. The curse would destroy her if he didn’t end things first. This was his small indulgence before forcing Ivy’s hand. He’d enjoy his time with Natalia. He’d let her see what he was, who he was, and if she didn’t run screaming—the thought made something stir deep inside of him. Gripping the handlebars harder, he accelerated again allowing the wind to blow away his thoughts.
Natalia felt the tension in Eric’s back. When she pressed her face against his shoulders, she breathed him in. His body protected her from the wind and bugs. As she leaned against his back, she could feel the curves of his hard muscles and wondered why he was so tense. She locked her fingers around his waist and relaxed as they drove, but Eric seemed tightly strung the entire time. There was no way to know what was going on in his head, though she wanted to.
As they came up on the coast, there was a stretch of white sand and blue water that went on for miles. Natalia loved the beach. She loved the sound of the waves beating the sand, and the scent of the sea. When Eric stopped the bike, she practically jumped off. Her hair was windblown so badly that it looked like someone stuck her head in a dryer. Eric laughed.
Natalia punched him in the stomach lightly, and then promptly smoothed her wild pony tail with a wicked smile on her lips. “Your hair looks kind of nuts too, but you don’t see me laughing.”
He looked at her from over the top of his sunglasses as they walked toward the water, “But, you’re laughing on the inside. And that totally counts.” The pain that normally filled Eric’s chest was replaced with something else, something warm. He couldn’t stop smiling, and he knew why. It was Natalia. There was something about her, something that made him wish things didn’t have to end. After all this time, maybe he found someone, but it didn’t matter. She was too late. Soon he would be gone, without a trace. Natalia would go looking for him one day, but he will have vanished without a trace. Eric pressed his palms into his pockets, watching the girl as she ran in front of him.
Natalia tore ahead, running for the waves. She didn’t stop when she reached them, like Eric expected her to. The girl ran straight into the water and started splashing like she was a Labrador. Eric sat on a sand dune a few feet away. The way she moved made him pause. It was like she was trying to contain herself. The girl was larger than life, just brimming with vibrancy. And Eric would fuck it all up and end her life sooner than she knew if he didn’t go through with his plans. The passion that burned in her eyes would be snuffed out. His eyes tracked her as she ran down the beach and back again. She’d tied off the tee shirt under the curve of her breasts, showing off her narrow waist. Her dark shorts were rolled up as high as she could get them. Long dark hair fell over her shoulders as she laughed.
Natalia turned toward Eric, noticing that he was watching her even though his eyes were hidden behind dark glasses. Her skin prickled like it always did when he looked at her. Moving slowly toward him, she came out of the surf. She pulled off her glasses asking, “We rode all this way and you aren’t going in?” He shook his head. What the hell? She frowned, “Why not?”
Eric shrugged, “We came here for you, not me.”
Natalia sashayed toward him, her gaze melting Eric’s. He could see her eyes through her dark glasses. Shadows did not hide things from him. It was part of the demon blood that flowed through his body. She knelt in front of him, the sand clinging to her wet skin, “Why on earth would you do something like that?”
Smiling he said, “To make up for last night, and the night before. Things have felt—tense.” He paused, his lips parted like he was going to say more, but he hesitated. Eric considered what he should say. He could tell that Natalia wanted him to go with her, but he couldn’t. It would make it harder for him to stick to his plans, and things had already gone too far to back out now. His days were numbered. Natalia’s were not. Not so long as he went through with it. Eric slid his tongue over his lips, and turned his face into the breeze. The wind whipped his hair, making it messier. “I just wanted to see you happy for a change.”
Her pink lips pulled into a sexy little smile. “I like it, you know.”
He didn’t follow. “Like what?” If he couldn’t see her eyes, he would have thought she was talking about the beach, but he could. Her pupils were far too dark for that, and her voice lost the levity that went with lighter banter. And the quirk of her lips, the expression that made him want to reach out and take hold of her and feel her in his arms—it was plastered across her face. He wondered if she knew what that did to him, how it made him want her.
Her finger brushed his leg, trailing down to his ankle, “Things to be rough.” It was why she was at Carina’s, well partly why she was at Carina’s. The look on Eric’s face told her that he was interested and she was so tired of ignoring the sensations that shot through her body when he looked at her. She was ready to admit that she screwed up—that Eric wasn’t the murderer she was looking for. And this, this felt natural, like they should be together. She only meant to tease him, to lean in close to his face and taste his lips. A kiss. She wondered if his lips were warm and smooth. They looked perfect. Natalia leaned forward, slowly, her gaze locked on his mouth.
Eric watched Natalia as she spoke, underestimating the girl. He always thought that at some point, she would fear him—that she’d recognize what he was truly capable of and her feelings toward him would die like a flame doused with water. But she didn’t see it, she didn’t see him.
Before her lips touched his, he grabbed her wrist, stopping her. Pressing his lips together hard, he breathed, “It’s not going to happen. It’s beyond that with me. Don’t ask again.” There was a warning tone in his voice. Natalia pulled her wrist away, noticing that he averted his gaze.
Her heart plummeted. The way he spoke, the tone of his voice, said that he wanted her as much as she wanted him—but he resisted. Her mind pulled at random facts, trying to understand: Eric was at Carina’s. He killed Jocelyn. Gruesomely. But she couldn’t see how. It didn’t make sense. The Eric sitting in front of her seemed soft. She knew he cared about her, he had to.
Natalia arched a dark brow at him from behind her glasses, glad that her eyes were hidde
n so he couldn’t see the choked expression. “So you’re just going to watch me swim?” She asked it like she didn’t believe him. Eric nodded. Her lips pulled into a smirk. Fine. If he wanted to pretend that he didn’t want her, then she would just make him as uncomfortable as possible for the rest of the day. She reached for the knot on her shirt and untied it.
Drawing the shirt over her head, she pulled it off and tossed it at him. “Good. You can hold my stuff.” Eric’s eyes lifted to the two swells of soft skin above her narrow waist. Natalia stretched, her breasts thrusting forward as she tied back her hair again. Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see Eric watching her. After her hair was secured, she kicked off her shorts. A beautiful, nude Natalia turned from Eric and walked back toward the surf, slowly swaying her hips as she went.
The breath caught in Eric’s throat as he watched her walk away. His body had grown hard watching her. He didn’t get what he needed last night, but there was no way he’d chance hurting her. But her body. Holy Hell, she was hot. The way those curvy hips melted into her sexy legs made it so that he couldn’t look away.
Natalia grinned all the way to the water. She didn’t expect him to remain on the sand, but he did. Tormenting him was fun for her. She knew he wanted her, and maybe this was a little much for payback over a kiss, but this was Eric. Doing things in moderation with him failed to catch his attention. And this, baring all, caught his attention. Not once did Eric take his eyes off of her. She could feel his gaze like hot coals raking over her bare skin. Natalia moved in and out of the sea all day, talking to Eric and acting like she was completely clothed, like his eyes on her didn’t faze her. Natalia hid her racing heart when Eric reached past her for his bag, brushing ever so lightly against her leg. For a second, she thought he finally caved, but he hadn’t. It was only food that Eric had brought for lunch. She leaned back on the beach and felt the sun on her skin. Between the sensation of sand on her body, listening to the waves, and tormenting Eric, Natalia was in a wonderful mood by the time they left.