A Girl's Best Friend

by Kristin Billerbeck

  “I thought when you let your hair go natural, you were fixed, but I can see by the shellac currently on your hair you’re not quite comfortable in your own skin at the moment.”

  “Morgan, I appreciate your worrying about me, but Max and I are fine. You’re creating trauma where there is none. Relax, will you?”

  But of course, if I relax, I have to think about all my own garbage, and I don’t want to go there. “Max is your man, Lilly.”

  “I’m not arguing that. I’m only saying his mother might become a serial killer when she finds out I’ve trapped her son.”

  “If there’s a serial killer present, it’s Nate. Freak of nature. Who would put up with a smelly dog like that? And how he’s always hovering ready to offer a word of encouragement while he treats his own girlfriend with contempt? What do you see in him as a friend?”

  “He loves Charley,” Lilly immediately comes to Nate’s defense. “Nate accepts people and dogs for who they are. He doesn’t expect anything more of them than they can handle.”

  Please. “Is that what this is about? You think Max wants more out of you?”

  “I know his mother does.”

  “You don’t know any such thing. You’ve never bothered to meet the woman.”

  “Life is good. Why do I want to mess with it?”

  “I didn’t mess with it, and look where it got me. Ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance is fifteen years to life.”

  “You’re different—you trusted too many people. I don’t trust anyone. Right now, it seems to be to my benefit.”

  “Until you lose Max.”

  “I can’t make Max stay, Morgan. If he wants to leave he’s free to go, but there’s more to our story. It’s just not the right time to be talking about it.”

  Her words cut me to the core, not because of her great strength, but because of my own great weakness. I don’t just want to be married. I want a man to look at me like Max looks at Lilly. I know Poppy said that George did look at me that way, but I am probably just a human wallet to him. If he gets into my good graces, and even if he doesn’t, he comes out a winner. I could be headed for prison, and a substantial portion of my money is still headed for George’s wallet.

  “I think you’re crazy,” I say quietly.

  “I’m sure I am. One does not get raised by my nana and turn out normal,” Lilly laughs. “Are we going to the movies or not?”

  “Not,” Poppy and I say in unison. “Let’s get back to the spa and go in the hot tub,” I add.

  After we drive back to the hotel, I make excuses to the girls and walk into the courtyard under the lit jacaranda tree. Smelling the strong scent of the eucalyptus trees, I think twice about what I’m about to do, but I do it anyway. If I’m going to break my addictions, it’s going to take something stronger than Diet Coke. I take out my cell phone, which by some miracle is actually getting a signal, and I punch in George’s cell phone number.

  “Morgan,” he says when he picks up. “Is everything all right?”

  I look at my cell phone and see it’s just shortly before eleven p.m.

  “Everything’s okay,” I say. Not adding that I just wanted to hear his calm voice. That I just wanted to know he was there, on the other end of the phone line when I called for him. If I were to explain any of this, he’d know just how pathetic I am. That it wasn’t an accident I have been a staple in the San Francisco Chronicle for the last month.

  “Do you need anything, Morgan?”

  I’m silent. I can’t think of a thing to say. Why on earth did I make this phone call? And what happened to the days when you could just call a boy and hang up? Stupid caller ID.

  “No, I don’t need anything,” I finally say.

  “Morgan, do you need me to come get you?”

  “No, I’m at the spa. We drove down this afternoon. It’s been a long day. I’m sorry I woke you.”

  “You didn’t wake me. I’m working on your case.”

  “I’m not guilty, George.”

  “I know that, Morgan.”

  “It might not make a difference, true?”

  “It makes a big difference.”

  “I’m sorry I called. I don’t know why I did. A week ago I was looking for a purpose. Now my purpose is to stay out of jail.”

  “I’m glad you called me, Morgan. I hope it means you trust me.”

  Oh heavens, I hope it doesn’t mean that. Because I haven’t known George nearly long enough to trust him.

  “I should get back to my friends.”

  “This is a long road, Morgan. The trial probably won’t happen for a year or more.”

  “They won’t put me in prison until then?”

  “No, but in some ways, they might as well. They’ll tap your phone, they’ll give you a probation officer who can turn up at any time, and they’ll freeze your assets. It won’t be a party, regardless.”

  I sigh and say good-bye before standing under the trees and chastising myself again for calling George. For hoping a man could solve my problems and take me away on his white steed. The addictive cycle has started again. I knew better. But I called him anyway, and he calmed me down. Just like Andy’s voice used to do, just like Marcus’s used to do. I need help. There has to be some twelve-step process for this kind of pathetic.

  Pathetic is easier to see on friends, though, and I am so missing the hot-stone massage to get Lilly back where she belongs. If she gives me any trouble, meeting Max’s mother is going to be the least of her problems.

  chapter 24

  Where are you?” My dad’s gruff voice is “business as usual.” If there is any weakness, he does not let on. “My lawyer thought it best for us to stay apart. He thinks it will help our case.”

  “Our case is his problem. You’re acting like we’re guilty, Morgan. Gwen has been telling me it’s simply not right to have my daughter absent at the hospital. What will the paper think when they get word? I’ll not have it look like you’ve abandoned me. You get down here.”

  Gwen says? Gwen can’t even dress herself. Don’t get me started. “Dad, have you seen the indictment? We do look guilty. There’s no sense in giving them more than they already have. Caicos, Dad? Our money is in some foreign country and I don’t even know where it is.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with banking offshore and what did I send you to Stanford for if you weren’t going to learn where Caicos was? The government tries to make you sound guilty for sound business investing, but I sheltered my money legally. They’d take everything if we let them.”

  “Our money,” I correct. “If I’m named in the proceedings the least you can do is call it ours.”

  “I used your name for your own protection, Morgan. That way I could do our taxes together, and that saves us money in the long run. I did you a favor. There’s no death tax if it’s already in your name.”

  “It feels like the death tax now. How’s your health, Daddy?” I think about him lying in the hospital room, and my heart rises in my throat. For all he is, he’s my daddy, and I love him like I always have. Even if I do want to throttle him at the moment.

  “I’ve been better. When will you be home—to the town home? Gwen is getting nervous about you being out in time for the contractors to enter the apartment. You do realize you’ll have to move for them to come in.”

  “You just hired designers.” There is no way they can possibly have work approved and permits ready. “Besides, did you ever think maybe this wasn’t the best possible time for a remodel?”

  “I’m not guilty, I’m not going to act guilty. You don’t understand money, and we can’t stop living while the government gets its act together. They’ll understand what I did was legal, and we’ll have a new penthouse. It’s part of the game, Morgan—you can’t let them see you sweat.”

  “Dad, our assets are going to be frozen. You couldn’t find a contractor or a bank to sign on to this right now if they lacked business in San Francisco. And they don’t.”

  “You let me worry about the
money.”

  “Yeah, that’s seemed to work for me. I understand my name is on a lot of banking paperwork, and that makes me responsible. I know that much. I have a right to be nervous.” I feel my jaw tightening. Isn’t that just my dad’s way? To tell me not to worry my pretty little head while the guys in suits come get me. I honestly don’t know which feels worse: being dumped publicly, losing all my money, or knowing my dad just doesn’t care about any of it. No, that’s not true. But I know my father’s bristling effect has shocked me for the last time.

  “Don’t worry about things that don’t concern you. The lawyers and I will handle this. Just keep to yourself and attend the parties like you would normally do. George’s partner is handling my case, and it’s their job to worry about it. Not ours, Morgan.”

  “I’m not going to any parties, Dad. I’m the laughingstock of San Francisco, and I would prefer a low profile at this point. I’m looking for a job, and I’ll stay at Lilly’s if that makes Gwen happy.”

  “You can’t let them talk you down, Morgan. If they do so, they win, and we are not about to go down without a fight, all right? What job? You don’t need a job. If you get yourself a job now, they’ll say I didn’t provide for you.”

  If I ever had any fight in me for the social scene, it’s long since gone. Numbed by seeing myself in a wedding dress every day, attached to the scoffing headlines. “I’m getting a job, Dad. I was looking for one when I found out about the charges and your illness.”

  “You don’t worry about me. It’s going to take more than a stroke to bring a Malliard down.”

  More than a stroke.

  More than an extortion case.

  More than a flurry of embarrassing headlines.

  My dad is a stronger Malliard than me. Any one of those things, and I’m ready to throw in the towel and beg for mercy.

  I twist the gargantuan blue diamond on my hand. It’s really a disgusting display of cash, but when I reach to pull it off, I find it’s wrenched on like Drusilla’s foot in Cinderella’s shoe.

  “Daddy, I don’t ask for much, but please don’t rip apart the penthouse right now. George tells me we’re going to be on house arrest of sorts until this is through. ‘Grand-jury indictment’ is a phrase the newspaper loves to use, and it’s going to become synonymous with the Malliard name. At least let us have our sanctuary.”

  “I’m going on with my life. They’re not going to have their way with me. Gwen is right beside me all the way, and I think she’s right about you having a place of your own.”

  “Just like a good, loyal breed.”

  “What did you say?”

  “Nothing, Daddy. Frozen assets mean we’re not going to buy any real estate soon. Listen, I’ll call you every morning and night, but I have to get to work finding a job.” And getting Lilly to meet her future mother-in-law.

  “If you go looking for a job, they’re going to think we’re guilty. Are you not hearing me?” he says in a tone that usually has me acquiescing.

  We are guilty, I think to myself. The government only has to prove it. “Be that as it may, Dad, I need something to stimulate me. Since I can’t spend money, I might as well earn it.”

  “They can’t freeze the offshore accounts. Do you need money?”

  They can’t freeze them, but he can’t bring the money into the country either. A fact I’m sure he’s going to figure out soon enough. “No, Dad. I’m fine.” Thinking to myself, They’ll freeze it if we bring it into the country. Or am I imagining things? “Please don’t transfer anything until all this is over. You’ll just get us in more trouble.”

  “If you want a job, make sure the Red & White Ball is covered for jewels this year. All right? Anything worth over $25,000 in the store needs a security guard, but we need to prove that San Francisco’s Jeweler is still on top, still number one. Give us presence! I’ve ordered a whole array of rubies and garnets for this year, but remember, the money is in the white. Sell the diamonds. It’s a pity it’s not the Blue & White Ball with all those blue diamonds I bought.”

  “All right, Daddy.”

  “I raised you to get back on the horse, didn’t I?”

  “You did.”

  “So climb back on, Morgan. This is just a hurdle; you can jump hurdles. What were all those pony lessons for if you can’t jump hurdles? Get your jodhpurs on and get out there.”

  I think about the letter from my mother, and I feel strength rise up within me. I think about how my life might have been different if my mother had had the strength to tell me she loved me. I swallow hard and say what needs to be said. “I love you, Dad.”

  “So you’ll get to the store?”

  “Did you hear what I said?” I ask.

  “Morgan, I’m not going to die, there’s no reason to get blubbery with me.”

  He hangs up on me, and I look at Lilly and Poppy, who won’t meet my gaze. They know everything they need to about the conversation. It’s really quite surprising I’m as normal as I am. I should have been fitted with a diamond-encrusted straitjacket a long time ago.

  “Does Max know we’re coming?” I ask. We had Lilly get a facial this morning while we quietly packed and snuck everything into the car. Then we talked about breakfast, got her into the car, and we’re on our way back to San Francisco. I guess I’ve got a little of my father’s deviousness in me after all.

  “I called him when we stopped for coffee.” Lilly rolls her eyes. “He thinks meeting his mother is a priority for me now. He’s going to be sure to be available when we get home.”

  “Isn’t that sweet?” Poppy says and means it.

  “Let’s stop and get his mother a gift before we go,” I say.

  “A present isn’t going to help.” Lilly crosses her arms like a small child about to throw a tantrum. “I’m still the wrong religion. Still not good enough for her precious son. She’s going to kill us.”

  “Let’s give her a spa package!” Poppy shouts. “We can talk about how we’re the Spa Girls and how our friendship has grown with the spa, and make her feel like one of us. It’s too bad we didn’t think to get her a Spa Del Mar robe when we had the chance.”

  “Oh goody,” Lilly deadpans. “She’ll love knowing I have an expensive spa fetish that her son will have to support.”

  “That’s a great idea! I have those essential oils you gave me. That would be perfect to throw them in there.”

  “Maybe while we’re at it, we can get her some diamonds from your dad’s store, Morgan, and let her know I like those, too.”

  “I’ll stop by Blooms,” I say, mentioning a local spa.

  “I can’t afford Blooms.”

  “You can’t afford to buy your mother-in-law something cheap.”

  “What’s my goal in buying her off?”

  “Your goal is to not end up alone like your nana for all those years, and to find a man who is willing to put up with the Lysol thing. We don’t play around when men find our weirdness cute. Am I right, Poppy?”

  “If I found a guy who thought it was sexy that I could crack his back and maneuver him like a pretzel with ease? I’m so there.”

  “You two sound absolutely desperate,” Lilly scoffs.

  Need I remind her we met at a social that no one but us came to? Need I remind her we are all nearly thirty (Lilly is thirty) and none of us have a hope on the horizon of getting married but her? If that doesn’t tell her we are, indeed, desperate, I don’t know what will.

  “You say desperate like it’s a bad thing.”

  “Oh, I give up.” Lilly brings out a baby can of Lysol from her purse. But she wiggles it and shows me it’s empty. “I was just throwing it away.”

  “Don’t you dare spray that stuff in my Beamer! It may be all I have left when the U.S. government gets through with me. You’d think they’d have more important things to worry about.”

  “It’s stuffy in here,” Lilly whines.

  “Only because you don’t like the topic of conversation.”

  As we rea
ch San Francisco, it’s nearly lunch time, and Lilly cries hunger, but we’re onto her game. We know she never eats and could probably last a week on a Cup O’ Noodles, so we drive her straight to Max’s house. I think Poppy and I are as curious as Lilly. Probably more so.

  I look over at Lilly, and I can see her hands trembling and her finger on the Lysol trigger. She is as nervous as a new kitten.

  “You really don’t want to go?”

  She looks at me with her eyes propped wide like the peaks of the Golden Gate.

  “I’ll take you home.”

  She just nods, and I steer the car towards her loft. It’s not Max’s mother Lilly is afraid of. It’s Max, and we have to figure out why before she ends up designing her life away and collecting cats.

  She could be heading home to my house, after all. To the house where the hearts are as unbreakable as diamonds.

  chapter 25

  All right, Lilly. Out with it,” Poppy grabs Lilly by the back of her shirt and doesn’t release her as we reach the street in front of her loft.

  “What?”

  “When have you ever been afraid of anything? Besides bad hair, of course. You stood up to your nana. You overcame Sara the nightmare boss. What’s this about? You’re not afraid of marriage any more than Morgan is, and she should be afraid.”

  “Thank you,” I say. “Could we leave me out of this?”

  “First the weird, ‘Oh I’m afraid of meeting his mother’ thing, and now the lack of Lysol. Show me the second Lysol in your purse, Lilly.”

  She can’t do it, and we’re both stunned, but Poppy clearly notices more than I do.

  “You didn’t sneak a Diet Pepsi all weekend. Why not?” Then Poppy turns on me. “And don’t think I don’t notice you hanging out at the jacaranda tree by your lonesome, you and that two-liter bottle. What’s going on?” Poppy narrows her eyes and looks directly into Lilly’s wide-eyed, innocent gaze. Or, I should say, she tries to don this innocence, but she is the worst liar on the planet. I think all that Lysol infiltrated that part of her brain, and it’s like truth serum—she cannot tell a lie.

  Her expression contorts like a circus gymnast. “You’re going to kill me.”