We talked about everything.
We even talked about his planned future and my uncertain one. But what had surprised me the most was how Talon had made it clear that none of that mattered. He told me our futures would be whatever they were going to be, but we were going to live them together.
I believed him.
By the time we had hung up the phone, he had convinced me that we were going to have a happily ever after. It had been an easy fantasy to fall into. I had no direction after graduation and just the idea that, I might be lost but I wasn’t alone, was enough to put my heart all in.
Heading down the hallway towards third period, I was brought out of my thoughts of Talon and our relationship when a tall redhead stepped to me. I didn’t know who she was, but I’d seen her around. I often passed her after gym class, but we’ve never spoken or greeted one another. She was very pretty, but something told me her approach had nothing to do with wanting to be my newest BFF.
She was taller than me by a few inches, but nothing intimidated me much these days. Even her classy features and a nice figure wasn’t enough to make me doubt myself. And not because I was stunning or anything, but simply because I didn’t care about petty high school egos.
She stopped in front of me. “Kenzlee, is it?” she asked although we both knew she already knew my name.
I gave her a sharp nod. “Yep.” I cocked my head to the side. “What can I do for you?”
Her chin shot up a notch. “There’s some ridiculous rumor going around that you’re dating Talon Draven. Is it true?”
There were two ways I could play this; answer her cordially or point out that Talon and I were none of her business. Now, usually I opted for politeness because that’s how I was raised. We were polite above everything else and never caused a scene.
However, I wasn’t stupid.
I knew dating Talon was a big deal around here. Even if he wasn’t an underground fighting superstar, I was the first girl to catch his eye and matter to him beyond getting a condom out. I knew guys were going to be curious about what made me special, and I knew girls were going to be catty wondering why they weren’t. I couldn’t show any weakness or Talon and I would be over before we begun.
“I’m sorry,” I said politely, “but who are you?”
“Tammy Jones.” She said it as if I should know who she was. A part of me prayed Talon hadn’t slept with her, not because I was jealous, but because I didn’t want to deal with old crushes.
“Well, Tammy Jones,” I retorted, “Since I don’t know you, and Talon’s never mentioned you, I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”
She looked truly offended. Her chin went up another notch before saying, “You’re nothing but a novelty, you know that, right?” I didn’t respond. “You’re the new girl. The girl who’s fascinating for the moment.” Christ, this girl really had no qualms about being nasty to someone she didn’t even know. “Talon will see that you’re nothing special soon enough.”
I laughed. She was a real piece of work. “Even if all that is true,” I replied. “I still don’t see how it’s any of your business.”
Jealousy was clear as day on her face and oozing from every pore on her body. “I know you’re just latching onto him because of all the money he makes fighting,” she spewed, trying a different tactic.
I shook my head. “Make up your mind,” I bit out. “Either he’s using me or I’m using him, which is it?” Before she could answer, the second warning bell rang over our heads, and while I wanted to be the better person-I really did-I needed to put a stop to this now. “Look, I don’t know who you are or what you think, and frankly, I don’t care. However, a little advice? If Talon wanted you, he’d be with you,” I stated simply. “And since he’s not, well…that speaks for itself.”
Her face was raging red when she said, “I’m going to laugh when he finally gets tired of you and dumps you.”
I smiled in the face of her jealousy. “You can,” I said. “You can laugh right along with everyone else, but you still won’t end up with Talon.” The last warning bell rung, and I turned my back on her to head towards class.
She didn’t call out to me or try to stop me, and I was grateful. I’ve never been in a fight before, but I wasn’t afraid to be in one. I have just never been in a position where someone was so upset with me it turned into a physical altercation.
I got to class just in time, and thankfully, while I got a few glances here and there, no one was super obvious in their curiosity.
I sat at my desk and I felt like such a girl at the thought of sharing fourth period with Talon. I’d seen him this morning in the parking lot, but we hadn’t had much time for privacy. It had felt like the entire school had surrounded us, even though that hadn’t been the case. I just really had wanted to be alone with him, and so it felt that way.
We weren’t ten minutes into class when the classroom phone rang and the teacher told us to hold on a minute. Staring out the classroom window, I hadn’t been prepared for her to call my name after she hung up the phone.
“Ms. Mitchell?”
“Yes?” I replied looking over at her.
“You’re needed in the office,” she informed me.
Goddamn Tammy Jones.
Chapter 19
The shock that changes us.
Kenzlee~
It’s funny how you think life is going in one direction, only to find out it’s going in a direction you never imagined.
I really believed I was being called into the office because Tammy Jones wanted my boyfriend, but, oh, God, how wrong was I? I assumed someone saw the confrontation in the hallway and notified the office in an attempt to…I don’t know, stop something from getting out of hand, perhaps.
But that wasn’t it at all.
When I had gotten to the office, the school’s receptionist had directed me to the counselor’s office, and when I had walked in, my Uncle Allen and Aunt Sheri had been sitting inside, and no one in the room looked happy to see me.
My first thought had been that something must be wrong with my transcripts or something, and I wasn’t going to graduate. My second thought had been that my uncle and aunt no longer wanted me, and they made an appointment with the school to figure out what to do with me. It was that second thought that had me dropping in the empty chair next to my uncle.
I could never imagine how wrong I was about everything.
Even now, sitting on the plane heading back home, everything was still kind of fuzzy. I mean, I understood the words, and I could grasp their meaning, but it was still unreal.
I was headed back home to be with my mother because my father had killed himself.
My father had put a bullet through his head yesterday morning and my mother was beside herself.
And it might have been insensitive, but all I could think about was how much of a slave my father must have been to money that he literally couldn’t live without it. But I suppose that made sense; the love of money being the root of all evil and all that.
I knew I wasn’t a huge factor in their lives. I knew I was dismissive just as Kaden had been, but to voluntarily choose to abandon your wife and child rather than live modestly, blew my mind. My father would rather be dead than live in an apartment and drive a Saturn. And, now, the only men in my life who were supposed to love me forever were gone. Kaden died from neglect, and my father from greed.
Sitting on the plane, I couldn’t imagine why my mother called for me. Was she afraid of being alone, now that my father was gone? Was she going to insist I move back home with her? Was I just called back for funeral arrangements and the services? Were there even going to be a service or was she going to cremate him quietly and privately?
After my uncle and aunt broke the news to me, they had walked me to my locker where I got my purse and then followed them to their car. They drove me home to pack some stuff before watching me board a plane to go see my mother. I had no doubt Alexandria would soon know what was going on, so
the only text I sent out was to Talon letting him know there’d been a family emergency and I had to fly home. The message had been short and vague, but I hadn’t wanted to call him just yet. I wasn’t sure what the catalyst would be that would eventually cause me to fall apart, but I had a feeling it’d be Talon’s voice that did it. And, feeling this, I didn’t want to fall apart in an airport. I wanted to wait until I was…wherever my mother was with some privacy.
I stared out the window, into the sky, and it didn’t escape me how a few weeks ago I had loathed to leave everything I knew, and I had wanted nothing more than to stay within my new familiarity. I hadn’t wanted to leave my home, my school, my friends, my parents…I had felt so…deposited. And, now, I couldn’t imagine moving back home and going back to Madison Prep.
I had a sister in Alexandria, a friend in Edie, and everything else in Talon. I couldn’t imagine leaving Talon now. My chest jumped at knowing that even if he came with those two nutjobs, Lars and Hunter, I still couldn’t imagine leaving him.
It was too soon, and some of it could be attributed to my severe loneliness and abandonment, but I loved Talon. I believed in what I felt whenever I was with him. I believed in that buzz I only felt whenever I was around him. I believed in every thrust into my body that he felt the same way I did. He’s shown me I matter more in the couple of weeks that I’ve known him than my parents have shown me all my life. So, I prayed that the only reason I was on this plane was to help my mother with funeral arrangements, and not because she wanted me to come home, because I couldn’t do that. I cared what happened to her, but I wasn’t going to upend my life for her again.
Not this time.
My phone buzzed on my lap and I saw it was a quick text from my mother letting me know she’ll be waiting for me at the airport. But as I read it, I notice another text had come through earlier that I must have been too out of it to have noticed.
When r u coming back?
White?
Goddamn it! When r u coming the fuck back, Kenzlee?
I quickly typed back.
Sorry. I just saw this.
Before I could type more, he hit me with an immediate text.
WTF?!
We’re getting ready 2 land. Can I call u this evening?
He didn’t respond right away, but eventually he did.
Just...just tell me ur coming home soon.
I stared at his text. Coming home.
Yeah, no doubt about it, Talon was home now.
∞∞∞
Talon~
I felt like I was losing my goddamn mind.
When I had received Kenzlee’s text telling me there had been a family emergency, I had been waiting for her by her locker to walk to fourth period together for a few minutes already. Panic had already begun to set in wondering where the fuck she was, so when I got her text, it helped, but didn’t.
I spent all fourth period very aware that she wasn’t sitting next to me and worrying about her family emergency. Then my thoughts turned darker when I started to worry if she was going to be expected to go back to her parents’ house because of this emergency. By the time lunchtime rolled around, my mind had gone completely dark, and I had Alexandria trapped against her locker demanding explanations that she couldn’t give.
All I could get out of her was that there was an emergency with Kenzlee’s dad and Kenzlee’s mom had called for her. Alexandria swore she didn’t know the details, and I was forced to believe her because she didn’t seem overly upset. I figured if there was a death in the family, or something like that, Alexandria would have been pulled out of school too, wouldn’t she have?
And, then, because Kenzlee was right, and I was an insecure asshole, I spent lunchtime thinking back to those fucking assholes at the fights from Madison Prep. Would being back home and around all that money and class make Kenzlee homesick? Would it remind her that she can do better than Lakeside? I had been so consumed with my dark uncertainties, by the time seventh period rolled around and Kenzlee’s absence was back in technicolor, I had scheduled my name for another fight the upcoming Friday. While the money was always a good enough motivator, this one was because I was full of frustrations I didn’t know how to handle any other way.
It was eight o’clock at night before I finally got a phone call from Kenzlee. “What the fuck, Kenzlee?” I snapped at soon as I answered the phone.
“Talon…” she whispered, sounding exhausted.
“What?” I snapped acting every bit the dick. “How the fuck are you going to take off and not tell me why or where you’re going?”
Her voice sharpened when she said, “I told you where I-”
“You told me shit,” I accused, interrupting her. “I got a fucking text about a family emergency, and that’s it. What the fuck was I supposed to do with that?”
“You were supposed to realize there was a family emergency, and that everything is not about you,” she flung at me. “I told you I’d call you later. It’s not like-”
“Like the weekend you left me hanging?” I knew I was sounding like a spoiled brat, but I couldn’t help it. I was agitated and pissed.
“Are you fucking serious right now?” she yelled. “I swear to God, I do not have time for your bullshit, right now, Talon. If you don’t think I’ll hang up and go silent on you, you’re wrong.”
“Oh, I have no doubt you would,” I agreed. “I’ve already have a healthy dose of your avoidance and silent treatment, White.”
“Fuck you, Talon,” she snapped. “Just fuck you.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Unfortunately, the click of the phone going silent is what snapped me out of my assholishness.
Kenzlee was dealing with a family emergency, and she was right. I was making this all about me because I didn’t know how to have a fucking girlfriend. I was like a needy child whose mother was dropping him off at daycare for the first time and couldn’t handle being left to his own devices.
I dialed her number, and as predicted-and deserved-she didn’t answer. I called again. And again. And again. And again, until the calls went directly to voicemail.
I had to laugh, though it wasn’t a happy laugh. For all her refined sensibilities, Kenzlee had balls.
I fired off a text hoping the immediate ‘sorry’ that would flash across her screen would be enough for her to answer the phone.
I’m sorry, baby. I’m an asshole.
I waited. And waited. And waited. This time I really did laugh when she made me wait an entire fucking hour before responding.
R u ready 2 act like a grownup?
I dialed, and she answered on the second ring. “Baby…” I said, because what else could I say?
Kenzlee let out a sad, exhausted laugh as she said, “You’re such a fucking asshole, Talon.”
I smiled. “I know,” I agreed because I wasn’t a liar. “But you love me, regardless, right?” She was so quiet, I thought she hung up on me again, but it was a few seconds later I could make out the sounds of her crying. “Awe, baby…what’s wrong? What happened?”
“My…my dad, Talon,” she whimpered. “He…he…”
My stomach started to churn, and I had a horrible suspicion whatever happened it wasn’t an unfortunate accident. “What happened, White?”
“He…he…oh, Talon,” she cried, and I let her keep on crying. I wasn’t going to rush her. After a few more tears she got it out. “He…he killed himself yesterday.” The last part was said on a whisper and my entire soul hurt for her. Kenzlee already lost so much with losing her brother and her life as she knew it, this wasn’t what this sweet girl needed right now. Or, hell, ever. No one needs to experience a suicide.
“I’m so sorry, White,” I whispered over the phone, hating how helpless I felt. “Is there anything I can do, baby?” I knew there wasn’t, but the question needed to be asked, anyway.
“I wish you were here,” she sobbed, and I’d never hated the circumstances of my life as much as I did in this moment. If I had money,
I could be there with her. If Edie’s future wasn’t so goddamn vital to getting her out of our neighborhood, I could use some of the money I saved for her to buy a plane ticket and be there for Kenzlee.
If I was more than what I was, I’d be doing what I’m supposed to be doing for the woman I love. But because I was no better than every other poor kid trying to make it, I couldn’t be. I vowed to take care of Edie and my mother, but with them, things could only go up. What I did for them could only help them.
Kenzlee?
Kenzlee was already on top. She didn’t need anyone to help her up.
I cleared my throat. “I…I’m sorry I can’t be there for you,” I replied like a little bitch.
“It’s okay, Talon,” she assured me.
But it wasn’t okay. Not in the least.
Chapter 20
The decisions we regret.
Talon~
I spent last night just listening to Kenzlee cry over the phone and the entire experience had been brutal. Several times I had wanted to say ‘fuck it’ and use some of Edie’s money, but it was just too much of a slippery slope to start on.
I’ve been saving everything I could from the very first fight I ever won, and I only used some of the money if things had been dire at home. I had made a commitment with that money and I had never steered away from its intent. If I started rationalizing reasons to spend it, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if Edie ended up struggling in college because of my selfishness.
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