His words were confusing me. It was almost like he was trying to be nice, but was so befuddled with the emotion that he had to throw me on the floor first.
“Get in the bed,” he ordered.
I smacked my hand to the wood floor, staking my claim that the hard surface would be a fine enough bed for me. If he didn’t like it, he shouldn’t have pushed me down.
“Don’t be difficult. I’ve had a long day too, you know. Do you think I want to fight with you about this?”
I crawled over to the furthest corner from his massive straw bed and curled up in a ball on the floor.
He sat on the bed, took off his shirt and ran his hand over his face. “Look, I know you’re mad at me for hitting you after I bought you. But I’m a big name in my country. It won’t do for word to get around that common slaves feel free to look me in the eye. My own people can, but not random slaves. What I did sent a message to the other girls there. People watch what you do, Lucy. I can’t have them emulating you on my conscience. They start looking their masters in the eye, and they’ll get far worse than sore ribs.”
When I said nothing to this and did not even acknowledge he spoke, he threw his arms out and started yelling. “What do you want from me? Jamie already chewed me out for it. He says he’s too sore to get out of bed. How are you already doing chores?”
Because I’m not a wuss, I wanted to say, but in reality I knew that Jamie preferred his privacy for his grieving. He had given up hope that Jens was still alive. Waiting for Britta was torture for him, not knowing if she would be caught and imprisoned by the Nøkken for aiding Nik.
“You don’t have to do chores anymore. You’re my bedslave now, so your job is seeing to my needs.” He shook his head as he kicked off his boots. “Don’t worry. I won’t need you for that, but it’ll keep you close and give you a reason to stay off your feet for a while until you feel better.”
He paused and watched me stare lifelessly ahead. What was he expecting? For me to thank him? Thank you, Foss for making me your fake whore. I’m so lucky to have a big man like you to smack me around.
“Fine! Sleep on the floor for all I care.” Foss stoked the fire before flopping down on his bed. I could tell he’d missed his home. The comfort it brought him and the familiar feel of his own bed relaxed him more than I’d ever seen.
It was too much. Unbidden tears welled in my eyes, and I cursed myself for drinking the water that made those abominations possible. I laid down and shoved my hand to my mouth to keep any offending weakness silent while I wished for anything to feel familiar ever again.
Eight.
Fighting with Foss
Foss had locked Jamie in his room during the night to keep a cap on the siren’s curse. I had awoken a few times to the sound of the prince pounding on his door, rambling incoherently like a madman. Instead of going to Jamie, I gently coaxed him into my imagination. I conjured up a soft bed for him to lay on and wrapped him in the thickest feather-stuffed blankets I could think of. I made him imaginary hot cocoa and lay next to him, stroking his curly brown hair until he calmed down.
At one point in the night, Imaginary Britta knocked on the door to our fake room. When she came inside, Jamie leapt up off the bed and attacked her with passionate kisses that made her yelp in surprise.
Then she pushed him away, choking on something I couldn’t see.
I noticed a red stain on her chest. It began to grow, spreading out and covering her whole upper body in drippy red that made her fall to the ground as she choked, dying at Jamie’s feet.
Jamie was beside himself, losing his mind trying to save her to no avail.
Without a word, I removed his hands from her dead body and pushed my dead BFF back out into the hallway, shutting the world out and locking us inside.
I love it, and it dies. I love it, and it dies. Over and over, Jamie chanted the horrible phrase I admit I’d thought on more than one occasion.
No, no. That’s not true. It’s all a dream, Jamie. It’ll pass. Jamie’s subconscious wept with such woe that I took him into my arms on that pretend bed and rocked him, kissing his forehead. It’s okay, I whispered to his temples. We don’t know anything for sure. Maybe they’re all fine. Maybe they’re just taking their time coming over because they’re sick of Foss.
All Jamie could do was chant Britta’s name over and over in a mournful manner. My heart felt the pull for her, as well.
“Stop it, stop it!” I heard Foss shout, breaking me out of my dream state. Jamie and his bedroom vanished from my mind as I opened my eyes.
I was surprised to find Foss wasn’t in bed anymore, though it was still the middle of the night. He was kneeling on the floor next to me with a look of grave concern laced with fear on his face. His hand was on my back, and I realized I was sitting up, clutching my knees and rocking. I released my grip on my knees and let them drop to the ground like limp noodles, leaning back on Foss’s arm.
“You were sleeping sitting up and rocking like a lunatic! That can’t be normal.”
I squinched my eyes shut and tapped my forehead, and then pointed in the direction of Jamie’s room.
“Jamie? Is he alright? I locked him in his room so he wouldn’t attack my household.” He postured, but then relaxed when I nonverbally assured him that Jamie was alright; he was just having a bad dream.
Foss shuddered. “A terrible curse, your mind wandering when you’re supposed to be asleep.” His hand rubbed slowly up and down on my back, and for a few minutes, I forgot to hate him. “Strange that your people dream all the time.”
I nodded. I enjoyed my dream life, but Jamie’s was awful. I don’t know how he managed it all before he had my subconscious to escape into.
Foss brought me an extra pillow from his bed, laid me down and covered me with a blanket, knowing I did not want to lie in his bed with him. It was sweet, so I immediately suspected he was up to something.
I had a hard time falling back to sleep after that.
I awoke the next morning to the sound of the servants bustling around the house. Foss was getting dressed, so I kept my eyes shut and hoped one day my brain would reset itself so I didn’t have to know what his firm backside looked like.
When I was sure he was fully clothed, I opened my eyes and pushed myself off the ground. My neck cracked horribly, and as I stretched, I knew I probably looked as bad as I felt. I hadn’t eaten in days. I was sore from head to toe and had cried myself to sleep on the hard floor.
Whatever. Jens was probably dead. My family was dead. It was only fitting I looked like the zombie I was inside.
Erika tapped lightly on the door just a couple minutes later, introducing a tray of fruit and cheese to the room. She shot me a secretive smile before her face fell at my appearance. Yep. That sealed it. I looked so much like crap that no one would want to rape me ever again. Mission accomplished.
“Take her measurements,” Foss ordered. “Have Axelia tailor a red gown to fit her.”
Erika’s mouth fell open. “A red dress? For tonight?”
“Today, if possible. Help her if she needs it. Lucy is the lady of the house. Quicker word spreads about that, the better, so don’t hold back.”
Erika bowed her head in my direction. “Welcome to the house, Lady Lucy.” She took out a piece of yarn from her apron and used it to measure me as quick as she could with her long, nimble fingers.
I can’t imagine I looked like I should be bowed to, so I stared up at Foss for an explanation once she left.
“Come here, rat.”
Great. Back to that, are we? I obeyed to protect further damage to my ribs and walked over to where he sat on the bed.
“Still keeping your mouth shut? Good. That’ll save me from having to shut it for you. Eat some breakfast before you go out there. You look terrible.”
Pfft. Like it mattered how I looked. Don’t need a beauty salon to wash dishes and cook all day. I turned on my heel and moved toward the door.
“I said it’s time for you to e
at! You’ve had your little fit. You made your point. I won’t knock you around now that you’re not out in public. Play by the rules and you’ll be fine.”
My hand was on the knob when Foss barked at me. “I said sit down and eat, rat!” He picked up a grape and ate it. “Is my imported food not good enough for you? Do you know how expensive this is? It’s imported all the way from Tonttu! Do you know how lucky you are that I was the one who bought you? That you didn’t get taken by someone else?
Fair point. The other guy had groped me. Foss had only bruised me pretty good. Oh, happy day. I should buy a lottery ticket with all this luck.
I made to leave, but Foss slammed his fist on the door, his form swallowing mine. “You’ll eat and you’ll be grateful,” he demanded.
Oh, I wanted to punch him good and hard. I took a deep breath and tugged at the door, fruitlessly communicating that I wanted to leave his room.
Foss growled at me and led me toward the tray of food by way of a stiff grip to my upper arm. “If you starve yourself on my watch, Alrik’ll have my hide. Don’t be difficult. Jamie’s wasting away no matter how much of my food he eats.”
Oh, yeah. Forgot about that.
He picked up a piece of cheese, pried open my mouth and shoved it inside. I struggled in his stern grip to no avail. He clamped my mouth shut and pinched my nose, cutting off my air so I would be forced to swallow.
Two could play at this game. I stared him down as I ran out of oxygen, not worried in the least. He was only speeding up my inevitable demise. Save me the trouble of writing a suicide note to no one.
My crappy body took over seconds before I ran out of air and swallowed the bite I tried so hard to avoid. I pushed him away with a scowl that matched his and ran for the door.
“That’s how we’re going to play this? Fine!” Foss threw me down on the bed and pinned me there, shoving grapes in my mouth and cutting off my breath until I swallowed.
I ate seventeen grapes and five mouthfuls of cheese before he let me up. Still, he would not allow me to leave. “Now that that’s over, I know you can pay attention. Jens was fine with you not fighting, but you’re a liability to me out there if you can’t even throw a decent punch.”
I raised an eyebrow at him, not understanding what he wanted from me.
“Give me your fist.” When I did not comply, he snatched at my arm and balled up my fingers into a fist. “Thumb on the outside, aim and punch. Try it.” He held out his hands for me to aim at and nodded for me to attack.
As enticing as that was, I stepped back.
“Hit me, rat!” he bellowed. “Jens is most likely dead. Your uncle isn’t here. No one’s going to coddle you. It’s time you learned to fight. I can’t be watching you all the time, and I need to know that you and Jamie are solid backup.”
His words stung me, but that never bothered him. I backed away further still, eyeing his hands warily. If only I could get to the door, I might be able to run away and get some distance from him.
“Listen, I’m having the other four powers over tonight to talk business and see if we can get some help getting closer to the portal. Some of their servants aren’t as controlled as mine. I can’t be thinking about the portal and worrying that you can’t handle yourself without me.”
When I shot him a withering look, he puffed out his chest and shouted, though I can’t imagine why he thought shouting was necessary. I’d been mute for days. “Do you understand what I’m saying to you? Does your tiny brain grasp the situation? Blondes don’t exist here, so you need to stay near me. If we get separated, you have to know how to defend yourself. Put up your hands and hit me!”
I looked down at my ineffectual fists and then turned my pitiful gaze up to Foss. It was hopeless. I’d never be able to fend off a gang of men his size.
Foss understood and softened as much as he was capable. “I won’t tell you it’ll be okay, because I don’t know how this’ll measure out. My men know to watch out for the women when we have guests, but I won’t take chances with you. Alrik’s got too much magic, especially now that Mace is off his leash. They’d make my life miserable if you lost your maidenhood on my watch. Plus, you know, the whole human portal that you have to destroy.”
I hated that he pretended to care, and when he did, it was for all the wrong reasons. Nevertheless, if this is what I had to do to get out of here, I would do it. I put up my dukes and swung at Foss’s hand, barely jabbing his superior reach.
Foss grinned, relieved that I wasn’t completely hopeless. “That’s it. Now punch me like you’re trying to escape the Nøkkendalig.”
I shook my head, biting back a sob I would not let loose in his presence. What a low blow. I didn’t want to think about that horrifying day. I could barely process the day I was currently living.
Foss pushed me further. “Punch me because you’re angry Jens is dead! No one’s coming for you!”
Leave it to Foss to bring out the worst in me. I swung at him, smacking my fist to his palm. I struck out again, missing this time, but the intent was clear. I gave up trying to hit his hands and aimed for his stomach, which was a far easier target to hit. I wailed on him, not caring if he was hurt or if he was instructing me how to better knock him on his backside. I punched him over and over, eventually checking him with my body.
That was a mistake. I guess the doctor wasn’t lying about taking it easy. My ribs jerked excruciatingly, and I let out a bleat that was so pathetic, I was instantly ashamed.
Foss helped me to the bed and laid me down. I was in so much pain that for once, I did not put up a fight. I curled up in a ball on the mattress and sobbed. I was stuck in this horrible place with no way to get back to a normal so sucky, I had no real reason to return to it other than creature comforts.
I looked up at him and pointed to the spot my necklace had been, begging him with all I had left of me for him to find it and bring my treasure back. Bring Linus back.
“What? Your chest hurts?”
Yes, my heart is broken. I tapped my sternum and motioned to my neck.
“You have to talk if you want to be heard.” Foss sat next to me on the bed, leaning against the ornately carved headboard as he stared ahead at nothing in particular. After a few minutes of respectful silence in which he gave me the space to have a breakdown, his voice settled on me in a quiet manner I did not often hear him use. “My mother was a slave for a very hard master. He did what he wanted with his property and didn’t ask permission. I was conceived from her being taken against her will by him.”
I stilled, quieting my crying to silent tears streaking down my face and onto the red sheet. He ran his hands over his jaw, clearly uncomfortable at having to share this bit of personal information. But as he continued, I could tell a load was being lifted from him. I wondered if anyone else knew.
“I grew up and became the best mercenary in the land. When I wanted out of that, I learned the fish trade, got lucky and built up my home. I went up to my old master’s property and killed him in his sleep as a tribute to her. No woman has ever been taken to my bed against her will, nor that of my menservants.” He exhaled out his demons and picked up a lock of my hair, twisting it through his fingers and examining the way the sun streaking through the window caught on the strands.
My hair was not for him to touch or admire. I sat up, turned around and socked him in the face, snapping his head to the side. The venomous hate felt good in my soul as it ate up the last of my vulnerability. Foss was wrong about most things in life, but he was right about me needing to fight.
It was the moment of truth. Foss stiffened at the assault, inhaling slowly like a dragon readying its fiery breath. I didn’t move. I couldn’t breathe, for fear of his swift retaliation.
Foss swung his legs off his bed and stood. “Know your place,” he sneered. “I kept you alive for Jens’s sake, but I would caution you not to use up all my mercy. I’m not known for having much of it.”
Nine.
United in Our Discontent
I was holed up in Foss’s room. It had been a confusing day, and I only managed to get into more trouble the longer I was around everyone.
I’d gone out that morning to bathe, but Erika would not let me into the women’s room. Instead I had to share a bathroom with Foss, like some leper from the female colony. My brown dress was absconded with while I washed myself and replaced with a well-fitted red gown that thankfully covered up my scandalous ankles, but coincidentally left my cleavage pushed up for the world to see. Aside from looking like a renaissance pajama dress, it was actually kind of pretty.
Erika had helped me into my gown as if I was so fragile, I’d forgotten the basic mechanics of clothing. Though, I really had no clue how to lace up the back, so she actually was very helpful. When I went to put up my hair, Erika insisted I wear it down on Master Foss’s orders.
If I was speaking to him, oh the earful he would be subjected to. Ribbons and flowers were braided into the tresses, and if I wasn’t so miserable, I would have been pleased at the whimsy of it all. If this was a Renaissance fair, I would’ve been like, Queen Wench of the Maypole or something.
When I tried to go about the chores for the day, Brenda shooed me out of the kitchen so fast and with such fear in her eyes, I wondered if Foss had sprayed bed bugs or something contagious on me. All the servants bowed their heads as I passed, but scurried away from me when I tried to make myself useful.
I went outside and tried to help the servants gather wood for the bonfire that would happen later in the night, but no sooner had I picked up a piece of wood did three servants rush to take it from me, rendering me useless.
Kirstie was the only woman with the guts to stare me down as I walked through the field. She had been crying, as evidenced by the red circles under her eyes. She glared at me as she bowed. At least her hatred made sense. I’d spent the night with her psychotic boyfriend. I’d hate me, too.
I gave her an apologetic half-smile, and she screamed at me, lunging for my hair. “You’ll never be enough for Master Foss! His bed was mine to warm! He loves me!”
Fossegrim Page 4