by Kallysten
Didn't he?
"Go away, Sire,” was the only answer he offered her. “Some of us have a battle to fight tomorrow, and need to rest."
It was a deeply shaken Gabrielle that left Erik, her hand trembling as she closed the door behind her. Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong. She was beginning to suspect what exactly, bits and pieces starting to make sense as they came together to form a startling picture. A voice too loud and slightly off. Queries that never received answers. Pointed looks toward Gabrielle's face—her lips, she now realized.
However, Gabrielle needed more than simple suspicions; she needed to know for sure, needed to know how, and, most importantly, when. She needed to understand. It didn't look like Erik would be willing to answer any question, so that left only one choice for Gabrielle.
Finding the girl was easy; all Gabrielle had to do was follow her scent. Its trail was fresh in the air, and she suspected that the child and Erik had been hunting together. The house Gabrielle was led to was just inside the village, whereas Erik's had been just outside of it. Knocking at the door, she immediately heard footsteps inside and knew that she had been right if the girl wasn't asleep at this late hour.
The child seemed surprised to see her there, and she hesitated a second before formally inviting Gabrielle inside.
"Changed your mind?” she asked as she stepped in.
For an instant, Gabrielle wasn't sure what she meant by that. Had she changed her mind? About what? And then it made sense. Her offer to go back to that deadly day and watch it play again. How could the child even think for an instant that she might want to go through that once more?
But then, Erik had agreed to it, hadn't he?
She shook her head as her eyes trailed around the room. The herbs and jars on the table seemed ready to be tucked into a large sack resting on the lone chair. The girl was getting ready for the next day, too. Would she be returning to her village after Erik left to wherever he was going? The northeastern territory was far, it would take her some time to get back there. Was there a point in returning there anyway? Gabrielle had given it a lot of thought; if Erik succeeded in his mission, wouldn't everything change through time and space, annihilating this reality to replace it with another one?
Gabrielle berated herself at the turn her thoughts were taking. She was simply pushing back the moment when she would know for sure about Erik, and she was all too aware of it.
A small but strong hand closing on her arm forced her to return her attention to the girl. She seemed annoyed.
"Then why are you here?"
Why? Wasn't it obvious?
"Erik."
The name hung between them; the child's gaze was scalding as she observed Gabrielle, silent, waiting for more.
"What happened to him?” Gabrielle insisted.
The girl's eyes widened very slightly, her only noticeable reaction. Her voice was perfectly calm when she answered. “What happened to him? I suppose you're talking about his hearing?"
At Gabrielle's brief nod, she continued with the same expressionless tone. Her gaze never left her, and she seemed to be weighing the vampire as she spoke.
"I never asked. I doubt he would have answered anyway. And I'm surprised you don't know any more than I do. Less, even, it seems."
A trace of scorn entered her voice, and Gabrielle's dislike for the girl only grew.
She tried to justify herself. “I haven't seen him in months."
"Really?” the girl replied with a snort. “Well, it took me all of five minutes to notice when I first talked to him. He's learned to hide it, and he's good at it, but it becomes rather obvious when you're trying to have some kind of conversation with him."
Again, her voice was blank of emotions, and somehow it made it worse than if she had been mocking, accusing, sarcastic, just anything other than these quiet blows. More troubled by what she had hinted at than really said, Gabrielle gave her a small nod and took a few steps to the door. The child knew no more than she did, there was no point in asking anything else.
"We're sending him back to the battle tomorrow night,” the girl called just as Gabrielle was opening the door. “We'll be on the Lost Grounds if you change your mind."
Gabrielle looked back, and noticed the faint trace of hope in her eyes. She left without answering and returned home.
Chapter 14
+ Two hundred years earlier
Gabrielle had known from the start that pushing Erik away to incite him to want to become a Master would be painful for her. She wasn't only losing one of her Childer. She was losing the first of them, the one she had always favored above all others.
She had never imagined though that to see him with others would hurt quite so much. Over the course of a few months, he shared the bed of almost all of her female Childer. It wasn't unusual in itself, monogamous relationships such as the one they had shared for so long were the exception amongst vampires rather than the norm. And during the same length of time, Gabrielle bedded each of her male Childer except for Erik, keeping each of them at her side a few days at a time.
The worse though came more than a year after she had started pushing Erik away. She didn't believe the rumors at first; Erik had never looked twice at the humans who brought blood offerings to the lair. But when one day she witnessed him flirting with a young woman before they disappeared into one of the bedrooms, she couldn't deny anymore that Erik seemed indeed to have taken a human lover. And somehow, this one lover hurt more than all the others combined, because Gabrielle could already imagine the time when sleeping with the girl would not be enough anymore, and Erik would want to turn her and make her his Childe. It was rare for a new Master to take a Childe before forging a Pact with a village, but it wasn't unheard of. She knew how he thought and felt too well not to realize that he would break custom if he cared enough about the girl. He would be truly lost to her, then, and even though it was what she had wanted, the realization upset her beyond words.
She went out and hunted alone that night, despite her Childer's protests. She returned instants before dawn, and shrugged away concerned inquiries about her wounds to lock herself in her bedroom, alone for the first time in far more time than she cared to remember.
It was the following day, as she tried to distract her mind from thinking about Erik, that, at long last, she finalized the plan she had been thinking about for months. She was sure she had found the way to push back demons to the outer territories for good, possibly even annihilate them, and she couldn't wait to share her idea with all of her clan.
At nightfall, rather than sending out her Childer to battle as usual, she asked all of them to gather in the common room and told them of her plan.
"Demons will not stop coming,” she started, immediately catching everybody's attention. “They have been walking in deeper and deeper into our territories for years, and they will continue to do so until we either kill every single of them, or they conquer us. I have had word from three other Masters who have lost several villages to the onslaught of demons; they all wanted me to send some of you to fight for them, but I couldn't. As it is, we are barely holding on to our territory. Losing fighters for more than a night would put us at a disadvantage."
There were murmurs around the room, and Gabrielle smiled indulgently at a couple of her Childer who seemed caught between smugness and fear.
"I know some of you thought I was blind for not recognizing the danger that menaces us,” she continued, a little quieter now. “Believe me, I am not blind, nor deaf. Just because you do not hear me share my concerns or ideas does not mean I am not thinking."
A few heads bowed in silent apology, and Gabrielle nodded her forgiveness. She was about to go on and explain what she wanted her clan to do, but a timid voice rose from behind her.
"But why don't these Masters turn more humans to have a larger army?” Diana asked.
"For the same reason we don't,” Erik replied before Gabrielle could say a word. “It takes months in the best
of conditions to train a fledgling to fight. In the meantime, they are more of a liability than an asset. And they still have to feed, which means that villages have to send more offerings. With the growing tension and humans becoming so scared of demons, they might not agree to—"
"If you are finished, Erik, maybe you will allow me to move on before the night ends?"
Erik reacted to Gabrielle's interruption with a jerk of his head, as though she had slapped him. She understood why; she had never talked to him in such an abrupt and condescending manner. She wasn't sure why she even had. For a moment, as he spoke, the image of that human girl had flashed in Gabrielle's mind, and her anger had been too violent to contain.
He stared at her for long seconds, clearly not understanding what he had done wrong, but as always he refused to ask for an explanation. When he finally bowed his head stiffly under her cold stare, she refused to acknowledge him and immediately started talking again.
"While some of you thought I was letting time run away from us in the demons’ favor, I was in fact elaborating a plan. And today I am ready to share it with you."
She paused for emphasis, and delivered her news with her strongest voice. “We will awaken the Primal Forces and enroll their help in fighting demons."
She had expected the roar of incredulity, outrage and fear that followed, and so she didn't let it affect her. Arms crossed and chin held high, she let her gaze run over her Childer; almost all of them were agitated to various degrees. The only one of them who remained calm and quiet was Erik, his frown as he observed her the sole clue that he had heard her astonishing declaration.
Eventually, the shouts and protests died out, and in the renewed silence Gabrielle explained her entire plan. The scent of fear still permeated the room, but as she talked, she could see incredulity being replaced by hope, and even enthusiasm on many faces.
"We will awaken the Primal Forces,” she repeated. “We will use magic to reach them and harness their power, and use them to free our territory from demons. We will create a trap, pretend to leave a passage unprotected to the very heart of the closest village, and when demons come to us, we will unleash the Primal Forces upon them. All we will have to do is direct their action, and kill whatever demons escape them. Demons will fear our clan so much that they will leave our villages alone. Soon, we can show other clans how to fight using the Primal Forces, and our clan shall be known as the one who freed the world from demons."
By the time she had finished, she knew most of her Childer would follow her lead without raising any more objections. She knew, also, who would fight her about it. It was only days before she was proved right, and Erik first approached her with an alternate plan.
She listened to him, but even before he was finished she knew what her answer would be. His request to go and train humans to fight sounded too much like a way to be closer to his human lover. If that was what he wanted, he would need to say so out right; Gabrielle refused to help him.
For the next few weeks, the whole clan prepared for the summoning of the Primal Forces. A few of Gabrielle's Childer dedicated themselves to researching the magic that would free the powerful entities and assure their cooperation, while everybody else trained harder than ever before. During the same time, demons continued attacking always farther into Gabrielle's territory, making it clearer than ever that some extraordinary action was needed to stop them.
The whole time, Erik made his lack of enthusiasm perfectly clear, and more often than not he would try to persuade Gabrielle, or others, that her idea was too dangerous. Exasperated, she finally put an end to it with a direct order.
"I do not want to hear another word about it, Childe. You will follow your Sire's orders, and fight this battle with your clan. I will not tolerate any more of your defiant talk. It is more than time you learned your place."
She had expected him to submit to her words, if reluctantly, and he did. What she had not expected was the rebellious flame in his eyes, or his quiet words.
"I will do as my Sire desires. But when the battle is done, if you and I are still alive, we shall have to talk."
Even though he said no more, Gabrielle understood what he meant, and she stared unseeingly at his back as he walked away. He was still her Childe, but not for long; soon, he would be a Master. She didn't know whether to be proud or mourn.
Chapter 15
Gabrielle had hoped that the ride home would have helped her clear up her mind, but she soon realized that the approaching sunrise was putting her too much on edge for that. Forced to press her mount to go faster when it was already tired, she encouraged the animal with quiet words until they had reached the clearing in the forest where her home stood. As always, she brushed, fed and watered her mount before retreating inside her lair, all of it automatic actions that required no thinking on her part. She tried to calm her thoughts by lighting a fire and putting water to warm. She had no tub to take a bath, but warm water to wash would be a nice change. It soothed her mind, and when she slipped into bed she was calmer at last. She allowed her thoughts to return to Erik and to the questions that so desperately needed answers.
As she lay on her bed, her gaze set unseeingly on the frame of light growing on the edge of her heavy curtains, the events of a few months earlier replayed in her mind. How could she not have seen it? How could she not have noticed that something was wrong with her Childe? She had known him for centuries, better than she had ever known anyone else, how had she not added up the clues?
She had called out Erik's name, several times, and never gotten an answer. They had talked a little, but no real conversation, no more than a few words at a time, when it used to be so hard to get him to be quiet. Then, there had been those pleading words that Erik did not remember; that, she now knew, he had not heard. In her mind, Gabrielle could still see that hand hesitating on the door handle, the small headshake that had followed her begging. What had been going through Erik's mind, then, if it hadn't been her words? What had made him hesitate? What inner voices had he dismissed before finally leaving?
Would he have stayed if he had known how deeply Gabrielle wanted—needed—him? Could her words even have made a difference at that point? So much time had passed; wasn't any word she could say to him too little, too late? She wanted to think that it wasn't. She needed to believe it. But in the end, she didn't know.
The question tortured Gabrielle for hours, and even as she fell asleep, it haunted her still in her dreams.
* * * *
"Can you stand?” Erik asked blankly, and watched without moving when Gabrielle tried and succeeded.
"Good. I've got places to be. Can't stay here and baby-sit when you can take care of yourself."
Erik's eyes remained on her lips, waiting, Gabrielle knew, for her to say something. Waiting for her to give him a reason to stay. But she didn't know where to start, how to explain things that still hurt so much. Time had passed, but it had not made anything any easier, quite the contrary.
When no words came, Erik nodded. “Right then. I'd better be going."
And as she watched her Childe turn around and walk out of the bedroom, Gabrielle realized that this was it. The moment of truth. And, at the same time, a second chance. They had parted after a misunderstanding that had wounded them both, but she could try to repair everything now. She had to try. If she let Erik go, it was unlikely she'd ever see him again, ever have the chance to make amends, ever find a companion.
Naked but for the bandage that bound her arm, she stood from the bed and she followed him out of the bedroom, stumbling but walking farther even when her legs threatened to give in. Erik was just reaching the door when Gabrielle's hand brushed his arm, and she was relieved when long, strong fingers hesitated on the door handle. Erik turned sideways, enough to look at Gabrielle, but his hand remained on the handle, still ready to leave. It had never been clearer to her how much she had hurt him than it was at that instant. His whole body was a mix of hope and wariness. But as long as he still hoped,
so could she.
"Please, don't,” Gabrielle murmured, raising a hand to brush the back of her fingers to his cheek. “I can't live like this anymore. Can't live alone. Can't go on night after night knowing that you're somewhere out there as lonely as me. Knowing I left you to fight alone when we could have fought together, side by side again."
Gold flashed through proud eyes, and Erik's chin came up with this arrogance that was his only.
"Who said I was lonely?” he challenged. “I'm perfectly fine. I don't need you. I don't need anyone."
As much as she wanted to call them a lie, Gabrielle accepted the claims. She was the one who had tried to put an end to her existence. She was the one who couldn't go on like this. For all she knew, he was truly happy to be on his own.
But if he were, that flame of hope in his eyes would not be burning brighter suddenly.
"I do,” she admitted, her voice broken. “I need you. Please. Stay with me."
Erik took a sharp breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, the hope had disappeared and a new fire had settled in the blue-gray, an old fire that Gabrielle hadn't seen in what felt like forever. Then Erik's mouth was on hers, and she wanted to laugh and cry in the same breath.
Her knees finally gave out, but before she could collapse to the floor, a strong but slightly shaky arm caught her around the waist. As he held her to him, Erik was careful not to press too hard against her still healing ribs. Even though his hands at her waist and at the small of her back were completely innocent, she felt more in that soft touch than she had earlier when he had checked her wounds, and she shivered, pressing herself just a little closer to him.
"Maybe I should stay a bit longer,” Erik murmured, a corner of his mouth twitching up. “Just make sure you'll be all right. You seem a tad weak, still."
Gabrielle nodded, her throat refusing to let words pass, and she clung to Erik as he gently picked her up and brought her back to her room. Her hands were trembling as she tugged and pulled at his clothes. He took pity on her and helped, finishing to undress, and soon they were on the bed, callused yet soft hands rediscovering naked flesh. Gabrielle was still hurt, still fragile, in no way ready for anything more, but after so many years of loneliness, this felt like heaven. Erik's hands caressing her as she had longed them to. Her own hands on him, finding so many faded scars that she wished she had been there to heal with a kiss. Mouths fumbling, relearning each other. Smooth skin under her fingers. Hard flesh that pulsed in her hands. Wetness under his fingers. And then fangs. Shared blood. Twin moans. Coming together.