Izabell
Subject:
Re: The Braves Game!!!
Weekend was fun. Let’s NOT talk about it at the game though as I’m bringing Anna. ;-)
Sent:
Monday, September 15, 2008 at 5:19 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Marty
Subject:
Re: The Braves Game!!!
You’re a little slow on the uptake, there, sport. Anna already told me she was coming to the game with you. ;-) She said you guys had a great time this past weekend, too. Couldn’t get any more details from her though despite my persistence. Anyway, are YOU going to tell me anything?
Sent:
Monday, September 15, 2008 at 5:25 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Elizabeth
Subject:
Hmm
Why am I still jealous about Marty and Anna pseudo-dating? Why am I more jealous even? In fact, my jealousy appears to grow with each passing day … especially with them not telling me any details!
Sent:
Monday, September 15, 2008 at 5:33 PM
From:
Elizabeth
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: Hmm
Because you’re a girl. (Girls remain jealous, even over guys they aren’t dating.)
Chill.
Sent:
Monday, September 15, 2008 at 5:43 PM
From:
Marty
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: The Braves Game!!!
How was your weekend, btw? I’m assuming it was awesome?
Draft:
Monday, September 15, 2008 at 6:23 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Marty
Subject:
Re: The Braves Game!!!
This e-mail was written but not sent and will save as Draft until further action.
Actually, no. It was one of the worst weekends of my life. I sat at home alone—as usual, since Peter is never here anymore and is totally stressed out with his job but refuses to do anything about it. What else did I do? Oh, yes, I did venture out once to the mall to buy sexy lingerie and a string bikini for our upcoming vacation to the Bahamas (as if the $1,000 I spent at Victoria’s Secret wasn’t enough) which I am looking forward to more than is humanly possible. I also stared at my naked body in the mirror for about an hour and wondered why my fiancé doesn’t make love to me anymore.
And, if I’m not doubting my upcoming nuptials enough as it is, I also spent Saturday with my best girlfriend who is dealing with her parents’ sudden divorce ever since her dad decided to come clean about his Iowan mistress. Who goes to IOWA to find a mistress???? And, that was my weekend, Marty.
Sent:
Monday, September 15, 2008 at 6:29 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Marty
Subject:
Re: The Braves Game!!!
Weekend was fine. Peter managed to take me to see Hamlet 2 on Friday night—the midnight showing (that was the only show we could make because he had to work).
Loved it. About a high school drama class. I was enthralled. Brought back memories of the good ol’ days. Got my nails done with Anna on Saturday and helped her pick out a sexy dress for some date she had on Saturday night. ;-) As for my Saturday night, no exciting date for me with a dashing young buck … I hung out with my gal pal, Elizabeth.
You? What did YOU do Saturday night? That’s right! You went out with a hot girl, courtesy of ME, I should get a finder’s fee for this, if it works out.
Draft:
Tuesday, September 16, 2008 at 11:33 PM
From:
Marty
To:
Anna
Subject:
Reality
This e-mail was written but not sent and will save as Draft until further action.
Hey Anna,
In favor of brevity and not beating around the bush, I feel the need to point out the obvious: We have absolutely nothing in common. OK, we have sushi in common, but we don’t even like the same raw fish (I like tuna and yellow tail; you only like salmon). I’ve tried to make something out of this. In fact, to be honest, I’ve tried to make something out of nothing with a lot of women since Iz called off our future together after our first date.
I’m taking my own advice. I need to shut up and deal already.
I wish you all the best in your future endeavors. I know you’ll have a fantastic career as you really are the hardest working, most motivated woman I have ever met.
Marty
P.S. And, yes, I know we shouldn’t have slept together. If it’s any consolation, I’ve put myself through an immense guilt trip for it ever since. I’m really sorry.
Sent:
Wednesday, September 17, 2008 at 10:09 am
From:
Marty
To:
Izabell
Subject:
So …
Really enjoyed the game last night. Thank you again. Was Peter OK? He seemed a little out of it.
To wrap up our conversation from last night’s game, yes, I do have a “List.” But, I can’t very well tell you my List in front of your fiancé (and my date). In short, many of your qualities are on that List. ;-) Unfortunately, you’ve set the bar very high for the future Mrs. Marty Fuller.
Sent:
Wednesday, September 17, 2008 at 10:29 AM
From:
Izabell
To:
Marty
Subject:
Re: So …
Where’s this so-called List, and how much do I have to pay for it?
Draft:
Wednesday, September 17, 2008 at 11:59 PM
From:
Marty
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: So …
This e-mail was written but not sent and will save as Draft until further action.
Since you brought it up, and because I seldom give you full disclosure, here’s an excerpt from that manifesto (I saved this as a draft and never sent it after that first night you set me up with Anna):
-Great eye contact
-Smiles constantly. A few belly laughs never hurt, either …
-A love of movie quotes (and good films in general … new and old, big budget and indie)
-And music lyrics (not just Madonna … but music as a way to change moods, supplement life force)
-A general appreciation of the arts (this includes the fine arts)
-She cares that I (try) to play my (Martin) guitar
-I guess this can all be summed up into good taste …
-She wants to try new restaurants (fine dining ones especially)
-And new food
-And sushi
*****Message truncated due to size*****
Sent:
Thursday, September 18, 2008 at 9:19 AM
From:
Marty
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: So …
No list for you. Just know that there is a List, and that you embody a good many characteristics on that List. In fact, you may have even helped me create the List (there’s your only freebie). That should be enough to put a smile on your face.
When’s your vacation again? Want to see Burn After Reading before you leave?
Sent:
Thursday, September 18, 2008 at 9:39 AM
From:
Izabell
To:
Marty
Subject:
Re: So …
Sept. 27th. Bahamas.
I will get my hands on your List. I’m very persuasive, remember? It’s what I do for a living. You’ll see …
Yes, let’s see Burn After Reading. It’s funny you mention that particular movie. I’
m a huge fan of the Coen brothers. Peter is very picky about movies, and he refuses to see it with me. So, I was going to go by myself this weekend. Now, I can see it with someone who appreciates dark humor as much as I do. ;-)
How about today in fact?
Sent:
Thursday, September 18, 2008 at 4:30 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Peter
Subject:
Burn After Reading
See you at the theater in thirty mins. This particular theater sells wine. A glass midday, why not?
Sent:
Thursday, September 18, 2008 at 4:35 PM
From:
Peter
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: Burn After Reading
What are you talking about? What theater? Are you not at work?
Sent:
Thursday, September 18, 2008 at 4:39 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Peter
Subject:
Re: Burn After Reading
Sorry. I meant to send that to someone else. See you tonight … hopefully.
Sent:
Thursday, September 18, 2008 at 4:44 PM
From:
Peter
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: Burn After Reading
You going with Elizabeth?
Sent:
Thursday, September 18, 2008 at 4:59 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Marty
Subject:
Burn After Reading
See you at the theater in thirty mins. This particular theater sells wine. A glass midday, why not?
Sent:
Friday, September 19, 2008 at 10:13 AM
From:
Izabell
To:
Marty
Subject:
Re: Burn After Reading
What an interesting film that was, huh? Go to Rotten Tomatoes and read what the critics had to say. It’s mixed reviews.
So, you up for serenading people in the park today or what? We can sing “Mr. Jones” …
I still haven’t given up on this List. It was most unfair of you to give me only one item from it at the movie. FYI.
Sent:
Friday, September 19, 2008 at 10:45 AM
From:
Marty
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: Burn After Reading
Au contraire, giving you one item at a time seems to be the only way I can procure your company! ;-) That said, I’ll give you one more item from it if you’ll see Traitor with me before you head to the Bahamas. You are my official (platonic) movie date from here on out.
Sent:
Monday, September 22, 2008 at 4:14 PM
From:
Marty
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Alive?
Are you alive? Haven’t heard from you in two days. That’s a record lately.
SMS From: Izabell (Mobile)
September 26, 2008 10:01 PM
E, can I come over?
Sent:
Friday, September 26, 2008 at 10:20 PM
From:
Elizabeth
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re:
Just got your text. Come on over! PJ has some guys here, and they’re “jamming” (a.k.a. making a loud ruckus and drinking too much, what’s new). My brother’s here en route to Florida, and we’re commiserating about the state of our parents’ affair—or, rather, my dad’s affair. My mom’s calling every five minutes to ask if she should drain the savings account by buying jewelry for herself. And, Riley, the dog, has a broken ankle.
It’s the updated version of the “Brady Bunch” for modern times.
Come on over.
Warning: If you want happy shiny people holding hands, you should look elsewhere.
Sent:
Friday, September 26, 2008 at 10:29 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Elizabeth
Subject:
Re:
It actually sounds like the perfect environment for me right about now.
Sent:
Friday, September 26, 2008 at 10:35 PM
From:
Elizabeth
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re:
Shouldn’t you be packing tonight?
Sent:
Sunday, September 28, 2008 at 10:19 am
From:
Marty
To:
Izabell
Subject:
???
OK, now I’m going to send out a search team if I don’t hear a response in the next five minutes.
Draft:
Sunday, September 28, 2008 at 10:23 AM
From:
Izabell
To:
Marty
Subject:
Re: ???
This e-mail was written but not sent and will save as Draft until further action.
Ugh. You see, the truth of the matter is that my life’s not on its best turn. I had to cancel my vacation a few days back. But it’s more than that. I could care less about the vacation at this point. I miss my fiancé. I haven’t seen him— the love of my life, I think, ah hell, I don’t even know anymore, I don’t know anything—I do know that I’ve hardly seen him in, oh, I don’t know, four months now (even though we live together, how sad is that?). I’m a lawyer, too, I know I should I understand. I realize that. I get it. And, instead, I’ve been a wretched screaming bitch the entire time. But I know that if I were in his position, I would’ve CHANGED it, I would’ve picked HIM not my job. I would never have checked out of this relationship for THREE MONTHS. Then again, I’m a hopelessly romantic fool, and I’m sure I’ll end up alone because of it. Or, perhaps, unemployed.
But, I digress. What does all of this tell me? I fear it means more than that “he works too hard and can’t say no to his boss,” but that we are very different people. Or, maybe it means that our priorities are not the same. I look into my future and I see a “single wife,” the mom who has to explain to her kids why daddy is always working and has to miss another baseball game.
And, that’s not the future I want. Ugh. Double Ugh.
I want to race through the fields with the love of my life holding hands and singing songs. I want peel-the-paint-off-the-wall sex in the middle of the afternoon. I want margaritas at 4 PM at some dingy Mexican restaurant. I want to move to Paris and sketch weird art, or, at the very least, create Paris in my tiny apartment. I certainly DON’T want what I’ve got now.
I just realized that my portrait of love has got to be the corniest thing you have probably ever heard.
Utter corniness.
I regret even writing this stupid e-mail. I will never send it. To you or to him or even to myself.
Pathetic.
Sent:
Sunday, September 28, 2008 at 10:31 AM
From:
Izabell
To:
Marty
Subject:
Re: ???
I’m alive, no worries. I’ve just had a lot on my plate, nothing unmanageable though. Had to cancel my vacation, because Peter has to work and can’t get the time off. But, I’m still smiling! Drinks soon to catch up?
Sent:
Sunday, September 28, 2008 at 10:36 AM
From:
Marty
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: ???
Phew, I was getting worried about you …
Drinks? Let’s just win the lottery and move to San Francisco already. We can live on a pirate ship, write novels, have our own reality show, and launch your acting career as a TV attorney.
<
br /> Hey … it’s a start. ;-)
—Marty
Sent:
Monday, September 29, 2008 at 4:06 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Marty
Subject:
Re: ???
Rescue me from my ugh job at 5 PM?
Sent:
Monday, September 29, 2008 at 4:09 PM
From:
Marty
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: ???
I hear Tap is nice this time of day … Rescue is on the way.
Sent:
Monday, September 29, 2008 at 11:19 PM
From:
Marty
To:
Mom
Subject:
The One
Mom,
You’re the wisest woman I know, and I need your honest advice.
I’m crazy about Izabell. I love her energy, she’s smart and funny, we have great conversations. I wouldn’t have let myself get this far in if I wasn’t convinced that she’s The One. We have too many things in common to list, we get along swimmingly, and with every laugh, every bear hug, every e-mail, she never fails to make me smile.
Save as Draft Page 19