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by Cavanaugh Lee


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  THE END …

  Draft:

  Wednesday, December 31, 2008 at 11:56 PM

  From:

  Marty

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  I thought we’d be spending this night together

  This e-mail was written but not sent and will save as Draft until further action.

  Draft:

  Wednesday, December 31, 2008 at 11:57 PM

  From:

  Peter

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  I miss my best friend …

  This e-mail was written but not sent and will save as Draft until further action.

  Draft:

  Wednesday, December 31, 2008 at 11:58 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Peter

  Subject:

  I hope you’re doing okay.

  This e-mail was written but not sent and will save as Draft until further action.

  Draft:

  Wednesday, December 31, 2008 at 11:59 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Marty

  Subject:

  I’m so sorry it didn’t work out.

  This e-mail was written but not sent and will save as Draft until further action.

  JANUARY 2009: THE BEGINNING?

  Sent:

  Friday, January 30, 2009 at 10:00 PM

  From:

  Marty

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  Please Read This

  Iz—

  I know you may not read this e-mail, but for what it’s worth—you should. Please don’t file it away in some Draft Folder never to be opened. That would be a mistake. Lord knows we’ve made enough of those.

  I’ll say up-front that I’m not going to try to smother you or be “too intense” or scare you away with my earnest proclamations of love. I now realize that I lost myself in a cliché of movie quotes, song lyrics, and bad poetry.

  And, I’ve finally learned from my twenty-nine years of mistakes with women.

  So, for what it’s worth, here’s what I’ve learned … I’ve always been a B-side. How apropos considering my favorite songs are The Beatles B-sides. By its very definition, a “B-side,” however, is “the less important side of a record.” Urban Dictionary even goes so far as to call a B-side “not good enough to be on the album” and just plain “left-over,” a “sub-par” track. Ouch.

  Well, I finally got sick of being unimportant—to you, but more important to myself. I got sick of being a B-side and figured it’s time I start living my dream and become the kind of man I want to be—and find a girl with all those things on my List. If I’m going to get those things, I realized I need to be an A-side, the front of the album, the winning track.

  So, after years of putting it off, I finally started my own band. I’m hoping to woo lots of women in the greater Atlanta area who want to date rockers. Nah, believe it or not, I started the band for myself, not for a girl, no not even for you. First time I’ve done something for myself—and not for a girl—in a while. And, here’s the first song I wrote. These lyrics are different from any of the other ones I might’ve sent you (or didn’t send you), because I’m not using other people’s words, for once. I’m using my own. No Beatles B-side this time around. It’s called “The Things We Should Have Said”.

  A bottle of red and this old Martin guitar

  Would have waited for you near or far

  A movie theater so very late

  On my hands you made me wait

  Your eye contact or a simple smile

  Could hold my heart for a little while

  As I sit and make this List

  I’d sell my soul for your kiss …

  I did.

  Things I wish I could have told you

  Things I wish you’d let me say

  Things I wish you would have told me

  Now all those things have washed away

  A sensual posture that calls me near

  An exciting terror full of fear

  Ambitious minds can’t always say

  What it is that gets washed away

  So when I see you at the show

  We’ll just pretend that we don’t know

  How it is that I feel

  Just words and e-mails not love for real

  Things I wish I could have told you

  Things I wish you’d let me say

  Things I wish you would have told me

  Now all those drafts have washed away.

  I wish you all the best, Iz.

  Really.

  Marty

  Sent:

  Friday, January 30, 2009 at 10:05 PM

  From:

  eHarmony

  To:

  Peter

  Subject:

  About Your Match #1

  Dear Peter,

  The “About Me” information below will help you learn more about Your Match #1/ Izabell.

  Sincerely,

  The eHarmony Team

  Izabell cares most deeply about:

  • My family, my friends, and my work (in that order). Plus, I’m (still) madly in love with my dog, Thea. She’s (still) the (only) love of my life (so far at least). Most recently, I’m very passionate about writing (about all my horribly dreadful and embarrassing mistakes, LOL).

  Izabell’s friends and family describe her as:

  • Sparkly

  • Passionate

  • (Still) Romantic (Very)

  The first thing you’ll probably notice about Izabell when you meet her:

  • Lopsided grin.

  The one thing Izabell wishes MORE people would notice about her:

  • That I’m ready. (I don’t know for what, but I know that I’m ready. ;-)

  Izabell is most grateful for:

  • My incredible parents, who are the coolest people in this lifetime

  • My amazing friends

  • Mistakes, especially BIG ones

  The qualities Izabell is looking for in a significant other are:

  • I have no clue anymore. But I know what I’m not looking for. That’s a start, right?

  The things Izabell needs to survive are:

  • E-mail

  • My dog

  • Writing

  • Communication

  • Phone conversations with the parents

  The person who has changed Izabell’s life is:

  • Two very different men, equally special in their own right.

  What Izabell is reading now:

  • Dona Flor and Her Two Husbands by Jorge Amado. Brilliant, brilliant book about a woman who has two husbands—one to feed her soul, the other to feed her mind.

  When Izabell grows up she wants to be:

  • As I said once before, I want to still be as happy as I am right now.

  Izabell usually spends her spare time:

  • Writing in
the hopes that I may someday be able to paint my life a very different color.

  Izabell’s favorite place to be is:

  • Out and about! (But also at home in my overstuffed chair with a good book and Thea.)

  Izabell’s best-kept secret is:

  • I had a tough year, but the only tragedy is death (no one died, so it wasn’t that tough).

  Some more information Izabell wanted you to know is:

  • I’m presently an attorney in the ATL. Prior to that, I was an actress in Hollywood. (Yeah, I’m not very conventional, and I certainly do NOT strive to be.) As I hinted above, I learned a lot this past year—about life, love, people, and all the stuff that goes with it. I’m open to meeting someone, and I’m also open to the idea that the “someone” might not be whom I expect. I have no requirements (for the first time ever, and God is it liberating). Oh, except for one—he can’t dim my sparkle. Drop me a line, and I’ll explain.

  Sent:

  Friday, January 30, 2009 at 10:08 PM

  From:

  eHarmony

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  About Your Match #2

  Dear Izabell,

  The “About Me” information below will help you learn more about your Match #2. Your Match has chosen to remain nameless at this stage of guided communications.

  Sincerely,

  The eHarmony Team

  Your Match cares most deeply about:

  • Family

  • Those cheap paperback books you can buy at the grocery store

  • A walk in the park on a Saturday

  • Sports

  • Willingness to change

  Your Match’s friends and family describe him as:

  • Hard working

  • Kind

  • Private

  • A good listener

  The first thing you’ll probably notice about your Match when you meet him:

  • 6 feet tall, blue eyes, curly reddish hair

  The one thing your Match wishes MORE people would notice about him:

  • I’m simple.

  Your Match is most grateful for:

  • My family

  • A cold beer on a Friday at 5 PM

  • TiVo

  The qualities your Match is looking for in a significant other are:

  • Peace, love, and understanding, like the song. And, personality. She’s got to have lots of personality.

  The things your Match needs to survive are:

  • Good conversation

  • Honesty

  • Loyalty

  • Spare time

  The person who has changed your Match’s life is:

  • A woman

  What your Match is reading now:

  • Some cheap paperback from the grocery store. Not even worth mentioning the name, but damn it was good.

  When your Match grows up he wants to be:

  • Married with a family

  Your Match usually spends his spare time:

  • Spare time is a brand-new thing for me. So I’ve been spending my spare time remembering what I used to like to do in my spare time.

  Your Match’s favorite place to be is:

  • In bed with a good book and a wonderful woman by my side.

  Your Match’s best-kept secret is:

  • That I’m a very private person. But I’m trying to be more open.

  Some more information your Match wanted you to know is:

  • … I’ve never done anything like this before. I guess you could say it’s a big step for me. I’m pretty old fashioned, so meeting people online is … well … not old fashioned (yes, that might explain why I refuse to put my name on this thing—just ask me my name, and I will tell you, I’m just a very private person). So, about me … this is hard … I don’t even know where to start … And I admittedly don’t like talking much, especially about myself … Well, OK, here goes … I recently quit my job at a big law firm. No, I didn’t quit it for another dream job. I just quit one day, because I realized life was passing me by. I guess you could say I got fed up. So, as of five days ago, I teach high school biology which probably doesn’t make me very desirable to the opposite sex, but I can assure you that I’m more “desirable” now than I was before. What else? I have several New Year’s resolutions that I’ve been working very hard on. I know, I know, it’s only January 30th, but a person’s got to start somewhere … Anyway, I hope to hear from you soon … Shoot me an e-mail …

  Sent:

  Friday, January 30, 2009 at 11:09 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Elizabeth

  Subject:

  Wow

  E—

  You’ll never believe what happened. I just got paired up on eHarm with some nameless guy who honestly sounds really, really interesting. I know, I know, it’s too soon for this, I’m still “healing,” blah blah blah. But, this guy sounds really interesting. Apparently (sit down for this one), he recently quit his job at a big law firm so he could focus on himself. And, he’s “old fashioned.” And, he’s got New Year’s resolutions. And, here’s the best: He’s looking for a woman with personality! (That’s close enough to sparkle, right? I mean, how many guys know a thing about sparkle anyway!)

  Hmmm, maybe he’ll send me an e-mail …

  Oh, hell, I’M going to e-mail HIM. Why wait for him to e-mail me? Life is SHORT. Life … is an adventure, and sometimes … you have to mix it up a bit.

  That’s it. I’m going to send him an e-mail.

  In fact, I’m going to send him an e-mail …

  RIGHT NOW

  Love,

  Your Izzy

  Sent:

  Friday, January 30, 209 at 11:10 PM

  From:

  Rock

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  A Beginning?

  Izabell, Izzy, and/or Iz (I’ve been given all three names, just in case),

  Your friend, Elizabeth, a.k.a. “E,” apparently saw me eyeing you at the art show at the Fox last Friday and gave me your e-mail address as you were leaving. She said e-mail is your preferred form of communication …

  So, here I am, e-mailing you by way of humble introduction. My name is Rock. I’m an artist (struggling yes, hence why I was working at the show that Friday night when you chanced to walk into my life or, rather, my Gmail contacts list). I’m fairly new to this big city, I’m still adapting, and I don’t particularly make it a point to hit on random women, but … your girlfriend allegedly thought there was a spark when you ordered that apple martini from me … Nothing ventured …

  “The course of true love never did run smooth.” That was Shakespeare. I have no idea why I just quoted that, it just seemed like the right thing to say.

  … Nothing gained. Life’s … an adventure and sometimes … you have to mix it up a bit.

  I hope you’ll e-mail me if you are so inclined. Or, you could always call me directly. I’ve found that things often get lost in translation via e-mail, and I’m much more of a “talk in person” kind of guy …

  Hope to hear from you,

  —Rock (yeah, that’s really my name)

  (404) 555-3564

  P.S. If you don’t remember me, I was the guy wearing the bandana with a tattoo of a big ol’ diamond on my arm (I’m into things that sparkle, what can I say?). Hope that refreshes your memory.

  Sent:

  Monday, February 2, 2009 at 9:10 AM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Elizabeth

  Subject:

  The Beginning?

  Wow.

  WOW

  What a weekend.

  Scratch that e-mail I sent you last week about nameless eHarm guy—right when I was about to e-mail him, something else happened and life got even more interesting (as if it wasn’t more interesting before ;-). Timing really is everything, isn’t it? Apparently … yo
u gave my e-mail to a certain someone from the art show without telling me … And …

  You’ll never believe this, but … ?

  Sent:

  Monday, February 2, 2009 at 10:39 AM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Rose

  Subject:

  Oh, and one LAST thing …

  FOUND it. Updated and modified.

  SENT.

  Draft:

  Wednesday, October 1, 2008 at 3:45 AM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Rose

  Subject:

  FYI

  Dear Rose,

  Allow me to introduce myself to you. I am an attorney in the Litigation group here at the firm. More important, I was Peter’s fiancée. We got engaged in June. We got unengaged in October. I am writing to tell you a little story …

  ****Message truncated due to size****

  All drafts were permanently deleted from your Draft Folder on February 2, 2009.

  You don’t have any saved drafts. Saving a draft allows you to keep a message you aren’t ready to send yet.

  Acknowledgments (in order of appearance)

  Sent:

  Tuesday, July 7, 2009 at 5:13 PM

  From:

  Cavanaugh Lee

  To:

  Erin Malone, William Morris Agency (NY)

  Subject:

  YES!!!!!

  Dear Erin,

  Thank you so much for agreeing to represent “SaD”! I am so glad you enjoyed reading my book! I must confess that when I was a struggling actress in Hollywood all those years ago, my dream was to have a William Morris Endeavor agent (but to no avail). Now, many years later, I became a lawyer/ writer and somehow my dream came true: I have a William Morris Endeavor agent! This is as good as it gets.

 

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