Making a Tinderbox (The Tinderbox Tales Book 1)

by Emma Sterner-Radley

  Elise wrapped her arms back around herself. Was it to ward out the cold or to comfort herself?

  “There is a peculiarity to the truth coming out,” she said. “It can help you or it can hurt you. This morning, I said some things that I do not believe to be true. But yes, I also said some truths. However, I made them sound worse than they are and chose the ones that would hurt you. Because you hurt me.” Elise took a shaky breath before continuing. “I thought we were finally taking the step towards being together. Truly together, lovers not solely for the night but for life. I have never been that vulnerable and open with someone. I have never fallen this deeply before, never been so completely at someone’s mercy.”

  “So, the way I was this morning…” Nessa trailed off.

  “Hurt like being trampled by marrow-oxen, yes. I expect that was why I hurt you back. I apologise for that,” Elise said, voice breaking.

  Nessa tried to catch her eye. “I apologise, too. I said plenty of horrible things about you. And you were right, you know. I do see more in you than others do. I see more than the rich, chatty, wild child. I see more than someone who is fun to run around with or to bed. And I adore all that I see. I just didn’t think you could commit to a relationship.” Nessa heard how that sounded and quickly held a finger up in the air, asking for patience. “Not because there is something wrong with you; it’s me. I’m not in your league. I know I can be boring, overly practical, and naïve. Additionally, as you rightly pointed out, I’m scared. I’m constantly worrying and completely addicted to being safe. Maybe that was why I stayed in Ground Hollow.”

  Suddenly Elise looked stern. “Nessa, I do not know if fear was part of your reasoning or not. But I know that the main reason for you to stay was that you wanted to help your family. You did not lie regarding that – I did. I lied to hurt you back. To unsteady you, to make you listen to me. It was childish, unfair, and cruel.”

  Elise reached out as if to touch Nessa but let her hand fall. Instead she added, “One of the many things I love about you is how you help others. You even climb up castle walls to help others. You agreed to be chased by Royal guards and to barely have time to say goodbye to your family just to help others. To help me. There is not a single selfish bone in your body.”

  Nessa stepped closer. “I-I’m so glad you see me like that. Your opinion of me matters so much. I’m sorry that I hurt you and pushed you away this morning. I truly do believe that we could make a good couple. If you really d-do want me by your side, it will work. I feel it every time my heart thuds when you smile. It has chosen you. And it seems that your heart has chosen me, too. I’m sorry that I underestimated your feelings.”

  Nessa bit her lip, trying to push back tears. “I’m also sorry I called you those things. You can’t help being born rich and raised in Noble circles. And bedplay and pretty distractions are not the only things you want; that was a ridiculous statement. However, there is nothing wrong with how much and how often you enjoy bedplay. In fact, your appetite for everything in life is one of the most wonderful things about you. I’m so angry at myself for making you feel bad about that.”

  Elise’s eyes found hers, and they glistened as wetly as her own probably did. The tip of Elise’s nose was growing pink. Nessa couldn’t help but marvel at the adorableness of it.

  “As we are apologising for everything we said,” Elise said softly, “I will add that I’m sorry to have made you doubt that you belong out in the world. You definitely do. You were so brave to leave your safe village and to come to vast, dark Nightport with a stranger in tow and no certain prospects. You have quickly grown, acclimatised, and even prospered in a way that few could.”

  The space between their bodies seemed warmer than the rest of the warehouse. Nessa was very aware of how close they were and how easily they could be holding each other. But there was still unspoken words, or perhaps unspoken emotions, standing between them and the physical reassurance that Nessa hungered for.

  “Is it t-true that everyone saw how we felt about each other but me?” she asked, putting her hands in her pockets.

  “Well, yes. That part was true. Layden quickly noticed it. Fyhre and Cai saw it, so did Jac and Sanjero. Not to mention Hunter, who picked up on it before I was aware of it myself, I think.”

  Nessa sighed and then chuckled. “That’s me all over, isn’t it? Even more clueless when it comes to love than everything else.”

  “Well, Layden did say that you had missed that his wife was so negative towards you because she had an unrequited infatuation. She thought you had ignored her and her broken heart. But he knew, and I have learnt, that you simply do not notice these things. You do not understand that you are such a wonderful creature that people can easily fall head over heels in love with you. Real, long-lasting love. Like mine.”

  They smiled at each other. Their smiles fragile and unsure.

  Nessa scuffed the coarse floorboards with the toe of her boot. “Do you think we stand a chance at being together, then?”

  “I think we might. I will do whatever it takes to make it work. And you, well, you have made your stance obvious. Especially with your actions, you seem to be uprooting your life completely. Leaving your family, friends, and your safe haven of Ground Hollow behind for us. I would venture to say that you are betting a lot that we will be able to make it work.”

  Both of their smiles grew stronger, more confident. “I only bet big when it’s prudent. As that Queen of yours found out tonight.”

  Elise clasped her hands in front of her. “Well, there you go then. It must be a prudent bet. Unless you are having second thoughts? I would understand if you are. I am not an easy person to live with. And Storsund is a long way away. It would be hard and expensive to visit your family.”

  Nessa gave that thought a moment to settle. Her pulse was up, making her unbutton her coat while she searched her mind for doubt, finding plenty.

  “It’s crazy. There is nothing safe about escaping to a foreign continent like this. Probably hunted by an all-powerful, spiteful monarch. The only person with me being one I have only known for about a fortnight. A woman who is famous for being impulsive and getting into trouble wherever she goes. A woman who has the power to make me feel my best, but also my worst. The sensible thing would be to put you on that ship tomorrow and go back to Ground Hollow.”

  Elise looked down and nodded. Nessa reached for her, whispering, “But love isn’t sensible.” She caressed her cheek, then threaded her fingers through windblown hair, giving it a little scrunch to make it curl around Elise’s face. A gesture she had seen Elise do countless times.

  “Thank you,” Elise whispered. Somehow Nessa didn’t think she meant for adjusting her hair.

  “I thought I left Ground Hollow to see something new. Because I was bored and uncomfortable with everyone knowing me. You have shown me that there was more to it than that. Being with you has revealed that what I wanted deep down was to challenge myself. To grow and to let go of my fears. You make me take risks. And so far, while it has put me in danger, it has taught me who I want to be. I want to stay someone who knows when to bet or fold, yes. But I want to become someone who always gambles on a good hand. As far as I can see, you’re the perfect hand for me, so bugger being sensible. Let’s have our next adventure.”

  Elise looked at her, tears trickling out of golden eyes. “Even with the Queen chasing us?”

  “Oh, we don’t know she will. I’m sure it would hurt her pride to admit that she wanted you back enough to risk her people’s anger. Or to spend all that time and coin chasing you. I think it’s more likely that she’ll try to find another tinderbox-maker to pet.”

  Elise hummed her agreement. “Nevertheless, what if she does decide to chase us?”

  Nessa’s hand found its way back to Elise’s hair. This time it went below the pitch-black tresses to caress the nape of her neck. “Then she’ll have to be fast and clever. And tenacious. Which doesn’t seem to be her strong suit.”

  Elise
sniffed and wiped her wet cheeks. “Hmm, no. She has even less patience than me.”

  “There you go then,” Nessa said simply.

  Elise retrieved the hand resting on her neck and kissed it.

  Something fell into place. Nessa no longer had the feeling of something unspoken between them. There were still things to discuss, but they were on the same line now. They were a set again. As she looked at Elise, she felt her whole body growing weak while her heart grew stronger. Her love grew stronger. That reddening nose, those wet eyes, and those tear-stained cheeks — Nessa wanted nothing more than to kiss every drop of pain away from the woman in front of her. First, she had to say those words. But how?

  Nessa rubbed the back of her neck. “We h-have spoken about love. And our feelings. About falling for each other and a-adoring each other. But we… we haven’t…” She trailed off.

  Elise dried her cheeks again. Then, in a low but certain tone, she voiced their thoughts. “We have not said ‘I love you’ yet. I think I may have spoken of love, but I am not certain I said the words clear and simple. Well, there will be no more misunderstandings. No more underestimating each other’s feelings. I love you, Nessa Clay. With all that I am and all that you inspire me to be.”

  Nessa heard a croaking sound leave her lips. She hurried to clear her throat and say, “I love you, too. More than I knew I could love someone.”

  Elise took her hand and pulled Nessa towards her. They collided in a clumsy kiss, her nose stabbing Elise’s cheek. Neither cared. They kissed. And kissed. And kissed. Elise placed Nessa’s arms around her waist. Nessa couldn’t hold her close enough but did a valiant attempt to actually meld their bodies into one through the medium of embracing.

  After a while, Elise broke away, staring starry-eyed at Nessa. She stared back in heart-pounding wonder. Everything suddenly felt so bright in that dark, dank warehouse.

  Elise shook her head gently and began laughing, and Nessa quickly joined her. She rested her forehead against Nessa’s. “So. We go to Storsund, then. How long do we stay?”

  “I don’t know. We shall see, I guess. It’ll be an adventure where I won’t have the safety net of my parents and Layden close by. Which is good. It means I won’t give up and recede back into my old life. However, there will come a time where I’ll miss them too much, I think.”

  “When that happens, we will return to Arclid. I will buy us tickets right away. The Queen be damned,” Elise said.

  “Thank you.” The words left Nessa’s mouth in a croaked whisper.

  “No. Thank you. For gambling on me. On us. Oh, and another promise I will make you. I will find you another apprenticeship with a glassblower. You will learn the craft and get to work with your beloved glass.”

  Nessa took her hand. It felt cold, and she rubbed it a little to bring her warmth. It was the least she could do. No one had ever made her feel the way Elise did. So wanted. So understood. So loved. Not having the words, she let her body tell Elise how she felt. She pulled her close again and kissed her gently.

  Elise grabbed onto her waist, her hands tightening almost painfully. Nessa’s breath left her chest as Elise deepened the kiss, claiming her mouth and making it feel like it was the most natural thing in the world. As if everything was wrong unless their bodies were connected at some point. Nessa revelled in the kiss, trying to convey everything with the touch of her lips and her tongue.

  Part of her wanted to take this further. To make love to Elise and involve her whole body in this wordless pact of affection and belonging. But she was so bone tired. Late nights of drinking and the emotional turmoil of the last couple of days had taken their toll. She felt Elise sway a little on her feet. Reluctantly, she extricated herself.

  “Should I take your unsteadiness as a sign of my kissing talent or are you exhausted, too?” Nessa whispered.

  Elise hummed happily. “Both.” Her hands were caressing Nessa’s back.

  “Would you like to rest?” Nessa said, closing her eyes to keep her resolve. To keep from melting into one big puddle of affection and desire.

  Elise leaned in, nuzzling at her throat. “Only if I can hold you. I hope to never let you go again. Gods only know what you might get up to if I do.”

  Nessa chuckled. “Me? I thought you were meant to be the troublemaker?”

  “Well yes, but I think you are superseding me. After all, we had a fight and my reaction was to be so distracted at work that I lost my position. Rather prosaic and dull. You on the other hand, went to the most dangerous gambling den in Nightport and played high-stakes cards with the Queen herself. Then you nearly got your entire village killed and started a revolt against the monarchy. One that might still take place, I hasten to add. I would say you outdid me tonight.”

  They laughed but stopped when the urge to kiss got too strong. Elise’s hands were pushing their way under Nessa’s coat, waistcoat, shirt, and finally her undershirt. For once, they weren’t cold but pulsing with welcome heat. Even Elise’s mouth felt deliciously warm, and Nessa had to force herself to stop kissing it long enough to say, “I guess I’m picking up your habits.”

  Elise quirked an eyebrow. “And you chose that one? Troublemaking?”

  “You seem to think that I’m in control here. I’m just a slave to my heart, and that little creature is mad with love. Not to be trusted to make any decisions.”

  “Ah, it is lucky that you will be travelling with me, then. I can keep an eye on you and that mad heart of yours,” Elise said softly.

  Nessa kissed the tip of her nose, which now that the crying had stopped, had gone back to its normal sandy colour. “Very good indeed.”

  Elise let go of her, stretched, and yawned. It was contagious enough for Nessa to have to yawn as well. Elise smoothed out one of Hunter’s blankets on the ground and then took off her scarf, rolling it up into a ball.

  “There. A mattress, a pillow, and the other blanket to cover us. Does that sound suitable to you, madam?” Elise asked.

  Nessa immediately laid down on the blanket. She opened her ox-leather coat, and Elise wordlessly crept into Nessa’s embrace. She pulled the other blanket over them, cocooning them safely. Everything was now warm and smelled of timber, the sea, and of course of Elise, who cuddled close to her, as usual. Nessa wondered if a heart could implode with joy. She gently rubbed Elise’s back and let her mind relax away from fights, being hunted, and important life decisions. Her mind wandered in time with her hands moving on Elise’s back.

  “Maybe I should cut my hair, like you have. Combing and braiding it each morning takes a lot of time. And strands of hair constantly escape the braid, you know that better than anyone, you’re always tucking them behind my ears. Oh, and this coat is pretty warm, but do you think it will be warm enough for Storsund? We don’t have proper winter clothing and I…” Nessa trailed off as she heard Elise snuffle a little.

  Her heartling was clearly asleep. She kissed Elise’s hair and let her own eyes close. Discussions about outfits for their new life could wait. Right now, she was warm enough, tired enough, and loved enough to solely focus on getting some sleep.

  She and Elise had fallen in love while sharing a bed. Every deep breath, every brush of sleeping limbs, every dream, bonding them tighter to each other. It seemed that their sleeping bodies and minds had fallen for each other and then their waking selves had followed. Sleeping in each other’s arms had been their starting point, and Nessa guessed it would remain the touching stone of their relationship. Her eyes closed and her breathing slowed to match Elise’s.

  * * *

  A little later, Nessa woke up to a hand slipping inside her clothes, sliding tentatively against her naked skin. Soon it cupped her breast, very gently.

  “Is that all right?” Elise whispered.

  Nessa hummed happily. “Yes. What a lovely way to wake up.”

  “Oh sorry. I thought you were already awake. Considering what you were doing.”

  Stopping in the middle of a stretch, Nessa asked, “Doing
? What do you mean?”

  Elise gave a her a crooked smile. “You were asleep then. Perhaps I should not tell you.”

  Nessa swatted her on the backside. “Tell me!”

  “Fine. You were… moving your hips in an interesting way.”

  “Interesting, how?” Nessa asked, guessing the answer.

  “Well, I would never use the word ‘humping’ in regards to a lady,” Elise said with a smirk.

  “Uh-huh. How about a woman raised on a farm?”

  Elise pretended to think, rubbing her chin theatrically. “I suppose ‘humping’ would work in that instance, yes. It is a good thing you are underneath me and not above. Otherwise I would have been ground into the floor.”

  Nessa sighed. “Oh, come on. It can’t have been that bad.”

  “How about I show you what it was like?” Elise whispered, seduction in every syllable.

  She began rolling her hips down against Nessa’s. Suddenly, Nessa became very aware of Elise’s leg between hers. Had that thigh been pressed so tightly against her core the entire nap? No wonder she had begun grinding against it.

  Nessa couldn’t help but moan. Elise’s face livened at the sound. The gaslight threw shadows across her beautiful features, making her look more dangerous than usual. More wanton. It was such a contrast to the sweetness of their resting together. It seemed to raise the heat between Nessa’s thighs now. She claimed Elise’s soft lips with her own. This time, the moan came from Elise and was muffled into their shared kiss.

  All of a sudden, there was an almighty creak, and they both broke apart to look at the door.

  Standing there was Hunter Smith. He had their satchel over his shoulder and the carpetbag in his right hand. His left hand seemed occupied with struggling to hold both a paper bag and the door key.

  His slim nose twitched. “No. Still not seeing the allure in all that carnal stuff. But at least you seem to have made up. Good for you. I have procured your tickets and found out that the passage to Storsund will take around six weeks. And I only packed that one book for you, so you will need something else to fill the time. I trust that…” Here he pointed at their bodies, “…grinding stuff should keep you busy all the way to Charlottenberg. Which is where you’ll alight: the less than attractively named Hangman’s Dock which is the port in the more beautifully named city of Charlottenberg.”