Liz had been a rising star at an old Richmond brokerage house. Shed learned a great deal. She met Tim, who worked at a rival firm. They hit it off, married, and started their own company, more or less boutique investing. They focused on emerging technologies, small start-up companies. Liz considered Flo a mentor. Flo considered Liz a pest.
It might. Flo responded to the idea that special T-shirts might bring more money into William Woods. Perhaps with one of Tallys famousor infamousquips. However, I sense T-shirt fatigue out there. Perhaps we could come up with something a little more useful.
What about those pink cases with tools that have pink handles? I saw them on display at maybe it was the Cincinnati airport. I cant remember. Im on the road so much.
Yes, Ive seen those. For Aunt Tally we should have blood red. Flo laughed. But theyre expensive, depending on how many tools one purchases. Lets keep that idea in reserve. Perhaps we could negotiate with the firm to actually make a set in William Woods colors and sell them in the Logo store. The Logo store makes a valuable contribution to the budget.
Yes, it does. Liz had pored over the alumnae fund accounting returns to double-check them. The Fulton accounting firm did a good job. Shed never found anything to send up a red flag.
All members of alumnae and alumni associations in universities took their fiduciary responsibilities seriously, which began with understanding the income, cash flow, and running costs of the university. They all faced the age-old problem of when debt was useful and when it was not. In one sense, debt was a multiplier of wealth. In another it could break you in two. Debt, if acquired wisely, could allow a college or business to purchase equipment, which would save man-hours and build new, energy-efficient buildings. The truth was in figuring out debt-to-asset ratios and when the debt could successfully be repaid. The alumnae boards recommendations to the administration were held in high regard. One reason was that Flo had proved prescient about the economy over the decades.
I want to encourage you. Flos melodic voice was soothing. I just dont think T-shirts are the answer. Many of the alums being brought in will be eighty or older, some of them on a fixed income. Fortunately, thats a small number. Most are solvent. Still, I dont think we should tempt them. The money can come from younger alumnae who will also be attendingthe strong economic base. They, too, want more than a T-shirt.
Aunt Tally loves horses.
And horses are a big part of William Woods, but not every graduate avails herself or himself of the program. Course, the over-eighties are all women. Some actually majored in history. Flo laughed.
She likes to garden.
Hmm. Even a lady of advanced years can pot a plant. I think youve got it. Gloves in one of our colors, with perhaps Tallys birthdate imprinted: March twenty-fifth, 1909. Ill pay for the over-eighty crowd. Each of those women should have a gift.
Thats wonderful. Ill get right on it. Liz paused. Would you like me to clear it with Mariah?
Certainly not. Ill call her.
Flo and Mariah DAngelo had graduated in 1974 and both majored in economics. They cordially loathed each other; always had. Mariah headed the Kansas City chapter, St. Louiss great Missouri urban rival. Both women displayed brilliance and a certain cunning allied with good looks. Both married well in money terms, but in emotional terms it was anybodys guess. But as their husbands were fifty-eight and sixty, respectively, whatever straying they may have done in the past would have been curtailed by the usual lessening of ability in that crucial area of male anatomy.
In their junior years, both Flo and Mariah fell in love with a student, Dick Langston, at Westminster College, the then all-male school across town. Flo married him. Mariah eventually retaliated by marrying the head of a huge construction firm, a man much richer than Dick Langston. He was on the road a great deal, visiting sites. That suited Mariah just fine.
Flo, in one of her typical farsighted moves, bought a ton of stock in the company that would eventually manufacture Viagra. Despite the New Depression, sales kept growing. Plus, her husband benefited from it, so she did, too. She kept this to herself.
She is our treasurer. Liz dug the hole deeper, reminding Flo of why she considered Liz a pest, albeit a brilliant one.
Shes very competent at that. Flo gave credit where credit was due.
I keep meaning to tell you, you were right all along about complex derivatives. I should have listened.
Liz, if I couldnt fully understand complex derivatives, then no one could. I know that sounds arrogant, but there isnt a financial instrument I dont understand. It was all smoke and mirrors. You have got to realizeand I dont know when you willthat the market is not driven by intelligence. In a sense it isnt even driven by greed. Its driven by the male ego. And theyre sheep. Being a woman is a tremendous advantage, because we know when the emperor has no clothes.
A long, mournful pause followed. I know it now.
Are you and Tim in danger? She mentioned Lizs husband.
Things are bad all over, but were hanging in there.
All over, Flo said flatly. Indeed they are.
When do you think it will end? You know, when will the market come back up?
Flo sucked air in through her teeth. I dont know, but it wont be back up when the government predicts it will. I think two more years.
Gawd, Liz moaned. Two years.
Give or take. Flo didnt feel like hearing Liz weep and wail, if she was headed that way. Youve come up with some good products. Youll be fine.
Liz replied, Im learning a lot. Guess we all are. Ive learned a lot from you. Tim, too. We see things for the first time. Youve seen it all before. Helps me put things in perspective.
What Liz never mentioned to Flo or anyone was that one reason their company grew so rapidly was Tims selling skills. Hed learned by selling lemonade as a little kid, then graduated to a newspaper route. In college he sold marijuana and cocaine, investing the proceeds. Like Liz, he worked for a large brokerage firm and soaked up everything. The investments from his college business funded the start of their own brokerage company. Tims selling skills were complemented by Lizs keen judgment on rising and falling companies. Her management abilities completed the picture.
Flo, after thanking Liz for the compliment, then changed the subject. You know, I think of this often. Our alma mater is better managed than most government agencies. And we should thank our lucky stars that Kenneth Lay was not a graduate.
At this they both laughed, for Kenneth Lay, the now deceased head of Enron, had graduated from the University of Missouri, a wonderful state university. Unfortunately for Mizzou, he promised them millions. They based their budget on it and then he bellied up. Mizzou would pull through. But the crisis caused pain that would continue for some years.
When are you arriving? Liz asked.
In time for our first meeting. Its not that far a drivetwo hours from where we livebut I think Ill come the night before. I hate worrying about time. Gayle Lampe lives on campus, and Ill bunk with her.
Gayle Lampe had been head of Equestrian Studies and had written a book that was the successor to Helen Crabtrees text about Saddle Seat. As Miss Crabtree was the leading light of this type of riding, this was no mean feat.
Youll have a good time. Im coming in a day early, too. Tim wants to be there. Well stay at the bed-and-breakfast.
Be good to see him.
Tim wants to celebrate Tallys big day, and we arent far from her orbit.
Honey, none of us is.
With that, Flo signed off, then dialed Mariah. Flo operated on the theory that if you kiss a toad first thing in the morning, nothing after that kiss will be as offensive. Although it was midday, she considered any contact with Mariah contact with a toad. She laughed to herself that comparing Mariah to a toad was an insult to the toad.
Mariah, Flo here.
The sandpaper voice, deepened with years of assistance from Lucky Strikes and good bourbon, responded, Yes, Flo, what can I do for you?
Liz Filmore has com
e up with the idea of getting garden gloves imprinted with Tally Urquharts birthday.
A little snort followed. For Gods sake, why?
Listen, Mariah, its better than a T-shirt, and Liz is determined to do it. Shell use her own funds. Flo had not discussed this, but she would call Liz immediately and tell her this was the deal.
In that case, we have nothing to lose.
Indeed.
Im looking forward to the celebration. Ill see you there.
Yes, you will. Icy bitch, Flo thought to herself, then hung up and dialed Liz.
Flo figured if she had one dollar for every call shed made for her alma mater over the years, shed have enough to own five thousand shares of Coca-Cola.
Liz, Flo.
Yes. Did Mariah pitch a fit and fall in it? It wasnt her idea.
Flo let out a whoop. No. But she does insist you pay for the gloves yourself. Of course, youll retrieve your money from the sales, so well have to keystone the price. And as I said, Ill pay for the over-eighties and special mementos.
Keystoning meant doubling the wholesale cost of an item. So if the gloves cost eleven dollars, they would be sold for twenty-two. It was standard retail practice. Therefore, even if items were discounted thirty percent, there would still be a profit.
I intended to pay for the gloves. Should have said so up front. Thanks again for your generosity. About keystoning, let me find out about the cost. I might have to drop it back a bit, but there will be profit.
Net profitthe two most beautiful words in the English language, Flo purred.
Was she herself?
She was, but in check. Shes sharp, sharp, sharp when it comes to money, and she watches our treasury like a hawk. She paused, A hawk who wears far too much gaudy jewelry from her expensive store.
Flo thought retail was quite difficult and admired anyone who succeeded, whether it be a huge corporation or a small neighborhood nursery.
Again, the two women signed off.
Flo truly did look forward to March 25, but she knew the meeting of the alumnae board would be tense. Money was tight everywhere. If people were going to fight, they were going to fight over sex or money. As far as she knew, there was no sex among the board members. Then the thought of Mariah in bed with Andrea, a rotund board member from Omaha, sent her into a fit of laughter.
Halfway across the country, the administration of William Woods University prepared for the centennial.
President Jahnae H. Barnett, Ph.D., possessed that marvelous ability of finding the right person for the right job. While someone in the administration needed to oversee the gala, it would best serve the university if the actual centennial chair happened to be an alumna, someone not on the payroll. Given the economic crash and the subsequent hiring freeze, President Barnetts people labored with overload. Dedicated and efficient, everyone in the administration pulled their weight and then some. So, too, did the department chairs. Putting another responsibility on them wasnt fair when an alumna volunteer might be available.
Academics, notoriously nadve where money was concerned, tried the patience of most university presidents. Issues became moral arguments. Tedious, unnecessary, counterproductive, the venom one academic reserved for another was exceeded only by the venom poured on people who were successful outside the ivory tower. Again, President Barnett had sidestepped this emotional snake pit during her long tenure as leader. She worked closely with personnel, pinpointing people who excelled in their field, keeping a positive outlook, and rarely giving in to intellectual snobbery. One of the reasons William Woods was such a happy place could be traced to fastidious hiring at all levels. Mistakes had been madeimpossible not to make a fewbut those individuals were let go without fanfare and in such a way as not to obliterate their fragile egos.
Ego. Sometimes President Barnett wondered what life would be like without it. She had weekly conversations with Flo Langston as well as Mariah DAngelo. Neither Flo nor Mariah, so shrewd in all other respects, could recognize that their own hostility toward each other stemmed from ego. President Barnett managed to harness them to pull together for William Woods University. It wasnt easy.
Trudy Sweetwater, the local alumna in charge of Tallys blowout, sat in the comfortable chair in President Barnetts office. She worked for a small irrigation-equipment company in Fulton. She was far from rich, but she loved her alma mater and was a good organizersomething her employer had long ago recognized, too.
Named Gertrude for her paternal grandmother, thirty-one-year-old Trudy hated the name. Trudy wasnt so bad.
Ive arranged a caravan to Callaway Hills. Theyve graciously offered to serve a light lunch.
The vivacious and quite pretty president beamed and said, Wonderful.
Callaway Hills Stables, one of the great Saddlebred establishments in America, was guided for years by Mrs. Weldon, breeder of the great Will Shriver. She passed away in 2007 and her daughter, Tony, had taken over. Those incredible Callaway horses continued to be born, trained, and shown.
You know Tony; shell have every horse in the stables gleaming. Trudy smiled.
She does anyway. Jahnae Barnett had ridden in the Concert of Champions at the American Royal in Kansas City, one of the big-five old shows in the Saddlebred world: the Junior League, Mercer County Fair, Shelbyville, the Kentucky State Fair, and the Kansas City Royal. She had a keen appreciation of what it took to excel, and was thrilled when Marjorie Townsend, a fifteen-year-old who was like a daughter to her, also rode at the Royal.
These days she was lucky to ride a bicycle. Time. Just no time.
Inez will be paired with Tally, of course.
Shes one of our most successful graduates. President Barnett checked her notes. The Jameson Singers?
Ready.
Gin? Said with a slow smile.
Bombay Sapphire and Tanqueray. Inez said that Tally likes to switch off from time to time. She starts when the sun goes down, but Inez says she has rarely seen Tally drunk. The woman has an amazing capacity for alcohol.
So I hear. You know if you need anything, Kenda Shindlershe referred to her assistantor Gayle Lampe will help. I dont remember when Ive seen Gayle so excited. Shes dying to spend time with Inez.
She gets that excited over a box of Rogers Chocolates. Trudy laughed, naming the candy company in Canada.
President Barnett laughed, too. Point taken. Anything else?
Mariah called. Her computer crashed. Shes afraid she wont have the alumnae treasury figures in time for the meeting. But she says shell have a techie on it, pronto.
President Barnett raised her eyebrows. Okay.
Trudy added some crucial information. It appears she didnt keep a backup.
The eyebrows shot straight upward. Oh, no.
She says not to worry.
I dont suppose she kept a regular accounting record just in case?
Trudy shook her head. People are forgetting how to keep written records on their own.
All we need is one huge electrical disaster or other form of disaster and there goes everything. I still keep my logbook, and I carry it with me.
I do, too. My mother pounded that into me. Trudy nodded her head.
Remind me to tell your mother shes right. President Barnett leaned back in her chair. Well, everything seems to be on track, except for the computer crash.
Money arouses passions. If President Barnett had only known how high, she might have canceled the whole damned thing.
On that same day Harry finished the end-of-day chores, her cats and dog helping.
Tucker barked, Fair and intruders!
The vet truck rolled down the drive, still a little muddy after the light snow last week plus the freezing and thawing. In Fairs wake was Fred Willard, driving a new Volvo XC70, and someone behind him in a Volvo SUV.
Harry wondered why the caravan.
Fair hopped out of his truck and put his arm around his wifes waist, getting straw on himself and propelling her toward the XC70, a lovely silver station wagon. Fred emerge
d and handed Harry the key.
Six cylinders. Fred, a Volvo salesman, smiled.
You rented a Volvo? Harry was incredulous.
I bought a Volvo.
Fair, were in a depression!
Recession, Fair replied.
Bullpucky, Harry shot back.
I have enough, recession or depression, and youre driving to Fulton, Missouri, in something safe.
He was one hundred percent correct. Besides, they really needed a vehicle that wasnt a truck.
Harry, stunned, finally spoke. Its beautiful. And I will be safe.
She couldnt have been more wrong.
I resent that. Mariah DAngelos cheeks burned with indignation.
You can resent it all you like, Mariah. You fell down on the job. Flo stated this calmlytoo calmly.
The techie is working on the problem. In the meantime, Ive made notes from memory. Mariah slapped the table.
How do we know you didnt make up the figures to cover yourself? Flo went for the throat.
Inez lightly tapped the table with her gavel. Ladies, this solves nothing. If we compare last years income and expenditures to what we have so far, based on Mariahs memory, well get some idea of where we stand. Why you all trust computers is beyond me. You should keep the books by hand as well as on your computer. Im not saying, Mariah, that you didnt need to file everything on your computer. I know it makes it easy to print copies, but its always a good idea to keep vital information in a form not dependent upon electricity.
Mariah stammered. Nothing coherent came out.
Flo leaned back in her chair with her hands folded.
Liz Filmore, ever eager to put the Richmond chapter in a good light, said, We do that.
How wonderful for you. Mariahs voice could cut ice.
Lets take a break. A fifteen-minute break. When we return, I expect to see an attitude adjustment. Inez rapped the gavel on the table again, her disgust apparent.
She rose, steadying herself for a moment on the tables edge. Her knees throbbed. Bad weather was coming. She stepped into the hallway. Although the alumnae chair emeritus, Inez had to take over the actual chairs duties because Mariah and Flo had made it impossible for Liz. Too young, cowed by the rich St. Louis and Kansas City alumnae, Liz couldnt keep order. Neither Mariah nor Flo paid the least bit of attention to her, but they respected Inez, even feared her a little. She was the only person on the twelve-woman alumnae board who could keep order. As St. Louis and Kansas City were vitally important to the economic health of Missouri, so they were to William Woods. Having a representative from each city was important. Seattle, large as it was, had not fielded as many alumnae over the years as had the two great and completely different Missouri cities.
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