by Gemma Holden
“You can look,” she finally said. He turned to face her. “I’m used to it. Everyone looks at it. They don’t look at me. They only look at my tail. It’s the only thing they see.”
He came over and stood before her. He knelt down and met her gaze, his blue eyes intense and unwavering. “I’m not like them. I can see you, Adrianna. But last night when we were talking, I forgot that you were a mermaid. I looked over this morning and expected to see a girl.” He shook his head. “You have no idea how incredible you are. What does it feel like?”
She flexed her tail. It was hard to explain. Like asking someone what having legs felt like. It was part of her now and she didn’t give any thought to it.
“At first trying to move was difficult. I was used to having two legs, not one tail. Now…it doesn’t feel as wrong as it did. When I was in Fournier’s cellar, I almost forgot that I was a girl and that I hadn’t always been a mermaid.”
“You want your legs back then? Some people might want to stay like this.”
She had never considered it. Before Fournier had taken her away from the river, there had been times when being a mermaid had been almost wonderful, but if she stayed like this she would always be sought. She would never be free.
“Sometimes, I liked it. I saw things no one else has ever seen beneath the river. But it was lonely. I was always by myself with no one to talk to.”
“You sound as if I should pity Lorelei.”
“I do.”
Christian took his spot up at the window again and Adrianna curled up in the bath. If they did escape, what would happen to her, she wondered? If Lorelei was dead, she would never get her legs back. Someone would always want her, not for herself but for what she was. She would never be free.
Chapter Twenty Eight
Christian woke early the next morning. He threw off the blankets and climbed out of bed and barefoot, padded softly to the window. He rubbed at the knotted patch of scar tissue on his shoulder. Adrianna slept curled on her side, one hand tucked under her chin. He wondered how she managed to sleep in the bath in that awkward position. She hadn’t complained or been bitter about what had happened to her. She didn’t even blame Lorelei. She was more forgiving than he was. While she slept, he was at last able to look at her tail more closely. He had been curious about it, but he hadn’t wanted to stare openly; he could tell it made her uncomfortable. Scales, a thousand different shades of green, glistened in the water. Her tail narrowed down to a set of delicate fins.
She seemed so fragile. He could wrap his hand around the width of her arms and he could see where her rib bones jutted out. Back in St Goarshausen, she had been healthy, but now dark shadows ringed her eyes and faded bruises covered her arms and shoulders, mottling her skin green and blue. Through the thin fabric of her chemise, he could see pink scars crisscrossing her back. Last night, he had heard her whimpering in her sleep and crying out and pleading with someone to stop. He couldn’t imagine what horror she had been through in the last year, but he knew he would never let them take her back. They would have to kill him first.
He left her sleeping and slipped out the room and made his way downstairs. Elise was in the dining room, already awake but not yet dressed. The butler was setting out the breakfast things from a tray.
“That will be all,” Elise said, addressing the butler as Christian entered. “You may leave us.”
The butler bowed and left, closing the door behind him.
To explain his presence, Elise had let the servants think they were lovers, but Christian was happy for them to think that if it kept them from asking questions.
“You should be resting,” Elise said as Christian pulled out the seat across from her.
“I couldn’t sleep.” Today was the day they were going to leave. They couldn’t stay here any longer. It was placing Elise in too much danger. At some point, someone would become suspicious about her guests and report them to the authorities.
“You should see the newspapers,” Elise said, pulling one across to her. “They’re saying that the mermaid never existed. They think the Emperor deceived us and before it could be proved that she was a fake, she disappeared. The whole of Europe is laughing at us for being fooled. The Emperor is said to be furious.”
“They will be even more desperate to find her then,” Christian said.
“There are soldiers at every exit to the city and they’re searching every carriage that leaves.”
“You should be safe so long as they don’t make you get out of the carriage.”
“And if they do make us get out?”
“I will create a diversion. No matter what, you have to get Adrianna out of the city.”
“What about you? Gaspard would never forgive me if something happened to you.”
“Gaspard will understand.”
She knew what he intended to do should they be stopped, but she didn’t try to talk him out of it.
“What will you do once you escape?” Elise asked. “Nowhere will ever be safe for her. They will never stop looking.”
“I know.” Getting Adrianna out of the city was only the first part. He knew the French would come for her and they wouldn’t give up until they found her. “I will keep her safe.”
He meant it. No matter what happened, he would keep her safe.
~~~~~
Adrianna woke slowly and sat up, stretching out her tail with a sleepy yawn. She could see blankets in a rumpled heap on the bed, but no sign of the prince. She splashed water on her face to wake herself up. She was combing out her hair with Lorelei’s comb when Christian returned carrying a tray.
“I brought you breakfast.” He pushed the door closed behind him and set the tray down on the small table. “You need to eat before we set out.”
“Thank you,” she said shyly. She set the comb down and picked up the fork.
“Where did you find this?” Christian asked. He picked the comb up and took it over to the window to examine it, holding it up to the light.
Adrianna swallowed before she answered. “Lorelei gave it to me after she took my legs.”
“I’ve never seen a pearl this big. It must be worth a small fortune.”
He handed it back to her and Adrianna slipped it back into her hair. Money mattered little to her; it wouldn’t help get her legs back. She thought of all the gold and jewels in Lorelei’s cave. Lorelei had kept them because they were beautiful, not because they were valuable. “Could you sell it for me? Money isn’t much use to me, but I could help my mother. She wouldn’t have to worry anymore or take in extra washing.”
“I will see that your mother doesn’t want for anything,” the prince replied.
She didn’t want his charity. He had done so much for her already.
Elise came in carrying a bundle of clothes in her arms. No longer hungry, Adrianna put the fork down and pushed the plate away.
“How are we going to do this,” Elise asked.
“Lifting her onto the bed would be the easiest way,” Christian said.
“What are you going to do?” Adrianna asked anxiously.
Elise set the pile of clothes down on the bed and laid out a towel across it. “You’re going to come in the carriage with me, but first we need to get you dressed. I’ve had the hem lowered to cover your tail.”
Christian unbuttoned his cuffs and rolled up his shirt sleeves.
“I’ll get you wet,” Adrianna warned as he reached into the water.
“I know.” He lifted her out of the bath and carried her to the bed and set her down on the towel. She propped herself up on her hands.
“I’ll wait outside,” Christian said.
Elise picked up a towel and began to dry her hair. “It will be best if you don’t say anything if we’re stopped. They will wonder why you don’t speak French. All the rich foreigners are brought up speaking French and English.”
Once her hair was dry, Elise came back with hot tongs and carefully curled Adrianna’s hair into ringlets. She pinned up the coils on top o
f Adrianna’s head and then rubbed creams into her skin and dusted her face with powder.
“They will know I’m not one of you,” Adrianna said.
“Nonsense. The clothes make all the difference. You just have to pretend that you belong. We’re all pretending in a way. Anyone can look like they belong with the right clothes.”
Adrianna stripped off her wet chemise and Elise lifted the petticoats over her head and then a white muslin dress. Adrianna had never worn anything so beautiful before. “I will ruin it,” she said, smoothing down the fabric over her tail.
“It’s just a dress. Once it meant something, then during the revolution I learned how little it was really worth. People are worth far more than jewels and silks. Life is worth more.”
Elise took a small hand mirror from the dressing table drawer and held it up so that Adrianna could see her reflection. She didn’t recognise herself. She was still too thin, but with the bruises covered and her hair in glossy curls, she looked like one of the girls she had seen at the Emperor’s balls.
Elise settled a cloak around her shoulders and went to the door. “You can come in,” she called.
Christian entered. He stopped when he saw her, his gaze taking her in. “You look like an ordinary girl,” he said. “I would never have known you weren’t.”
Adrianna looked down, unable to meet his eyes. She was an ordinary girl underneath. She wished he could see that.
“Are you ready?” he asked as he picked her up.
She nodded, slipping her arms around his neck. “I’m ready.” She hoped she sounded braver than she felt.
He had to turn sideways to carry her through the doorway. “I’ll be right behind you,” he murmured softly. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”
He carried her carefully down the stairs. Elise took her cloak and gloves from the butler and followed them outside to where the carriage was waiting. The driver opened the door and Christian set Adrianna gently down inside. It was awkward with no legs. She had no way to keep herself in place and she had to cling onto the edge of the seat.
“I’ll see you outside the city,” Christian said. He turned to Elise and spoke to her in French. Elise hesitated and glanced at Adrianna before nodding. Christian helped Elise in and then shut the door.
“What did he say?” Adrianna asked.
“That I should get you to safety.” Elise avoided her gaze and busied herself arranging Adrianna’s dress to make sure her tail was completely covered.
She knew Christian meant to risk himself for her if they were discovered. “I won’t leave without him.”
Elise patted her hand. “Hopefully, it won’t come to that.”
Out of the window, she saw Christian mount his horse, but the carriage pulled away before she could call out to him. She struggled to stay in the seat and it took all of her strength not to slip down.
“You’re so brave to help us,” she said to Elise.
Elise smiled sadly. “I’m not brave. I lost little in the revolution. I left just before it began with Prince Conde and the other émigrés. I only lost my possessions while others lost their lives. It’s time I did something brave for once. I’ve always felt guilty that I didn’t do more.”
Elise was watching the streets through the window. Adrianna would have liked to have seen more of Paris, but it took all of her focus to keep herself on the seat
“We’re approaching the city gates,” Elise said, her voice tight with tension.
The carriage slowed and joined the queue of traffic waiting to leave. Ahead, soldiers were searching the carriages and wagons before waving them through. They waited for their turn in tense silence. The carriage ahead moved forward and then the door opened. A soldier, dressed in a dark blue uniform, looked in at them. Adrianna gripped the seat until her knuckles were white, convinced that he would know she wasn’t one of the nobility and that she didn’t belong. She kept her gaze lowered, afraid that if she looked at him, he would see the fear in her eyes.
The solider spoke in French. Elise replied, shaking her head. He spoke again and gestured for them to get out of the carriage. Elise shook her head and sat back, refusing to move. Another soldier came. Elise argued with them in French, but Adrianna could see they weren’t going to let them go until they got out of the carriage. One raised his musket and spoke again, his tone angry. With a worried look at Adrianna, Elise slowly stood up.
Gunfire exploded behind them. The soldiers jumped down from the carriage. Elise pulled the door shut and shouted out in French. The carriage took off. Adrianna was thrown back against the seat. She looked desperately out of the window, trying to see what had happened, but it was a blur.
“Was that gunfire? Is Christian all right?” she asked.
“I’m sure he’s fine,” Elise said, but Adrianna could see the worry in her eyes.
“We have to go back,” Adrianna said. “It’s me they want, not him.”
“He was clear; I was to get you out of the city, no matter what happened. If he’s dead, it’s better that you do not make it for nothing.”
“No,” Adrianna whispered. Christian couldn’t be dead. He couldn’t.
They sat in silence while they left Paris behind them, both too worried about Christian to speak. Adrianna felt like she couldn’t breathe. She kept picturing Christian lying bloody and lifeless on the ground, his deep blue eyes still and staring blindly or Christian locked in a cell, being interrogated by Doctor Barreau.
“How is your tail?” Elise asked, finally breaking the silence.
Adrianna lifted the hem of the dress and raised her tail. The scales seemed dull and grey. “I don’t think I can be out of the water for much longer.”
The carriage pulled off the road and stopped. Elise peered out of the window. “This is where Christian said he had arranged to meet Gaspard.”
There was no sign of Christian behind them. With the driver’s assistance, Elise climbed down. Adrianna noticed the driver had a pistol in his hand.
“Monsieur Gaspard,” Elise called. “Monsieur Gaspard.”
“He could have left,” Adrianna said, peering out of the door. “Christian told him to leave on the third day if we weren’t back.”
“As if I would leave without you.” Gaspard emerged from the trees, leading his horse. He was dressed plainly in breeches, a white shirt and a brown jacket. He smiled at Adrianna. “You look lovely, mademoiselle.” Adrianna blushed. He turned to Elise. “Thank you for getting her out of the city.”
Elise smiled. “We need to get her into the water.”
“There’s a stream near here.” He frowned as he looked around, noticing for the first time that they were alone. “Where’s Christian?”
“We were stopped,” Elise said quietly. “He distracted the soldiers to allow us to escape.”
“I see,” Gaspard said, his smile faltering. “I’m sure he is fine.” But Adrianna could hear the doubt in his voice and see the worry in his eyes.
Gaspard reached into the carriage and lifted her out. She put her arms around his neck. He was much shorter than Christian and her tail was in danger of trailing on the floor. She had to lift it to keep it up.
“I always wanted to be taller,” the Frenchman said with a sigh, doing his best to keep her off the ground. “I’m afraid I do not cut a very dashing figure.”
Elise ordered the coachman to stay with the carriage and followed Gaspard into the forest. Adrianna could hear the trickle of water. Gaspard set her down on the bank of a stream. Elise untied the cloak and took the weight from her shoulders.
Adrianna used her hands to wriggle herself down until her tail was in the water. She scooped handfuls of the clear icy cold water and splashed it over her scales that weren’t covered.
“Well,” Elise said, “I shall leave you.” Elise leaned down to her hug her. “I wish there was more I could do for you.”
“You’ve done so much already.” Adrianna’s voice was thick with emotion.
Elise kissed her on
the cheek. “Goodbye, Adrianna. If you ever need anything, you have only to send word and I will do whatever I can to help you. If you do get your legs back, come and visit me in St Petersburg. I would welcome the company.”
Adrianna felt tears prick her eyes as Gaspard offered Elise his arm and escorted her away. Most had drawn back in horror when they saw what she was and wouldn’t touch her, but there had been some like Elise who had helped her.
“Will Christian be able to find us here?” Adrianna asked when Gaspard returned.
“He knows where we are.” He looped the reins of his horse over a branch and then sat down next to her. “It sounds like you’ve had quite an adventure from what Elise told me. I’ve been waiting here, not knowing what had happened to you. I feared the worse. I was about to go into the city to see if I could find you or what had become of you.”
They waited for Christian all day. Gaspard paced anxiously, while Adrianna luxuriated at being back in clean running water again.
“What if he doesn’t come back?” Adrianna asked after several hours had passed and there was still no sign of him.
“He will come,” Gaspard said firmly, but he continued to pace anxiously and glance repeatedly at his pocket watch.
She was splashing water over her scales when rustling alerted them. Fearing the soldiers had found them, Adrianna froze. Gaspard pulled out a pistol from inside his jacket and stepped in front of her. Christian appeared through the trees, his horse lathered in sweat and its sides heaving. Gaspard grabbed the bridle as Christian slid off.
“You had us worried, my friend,” Gaspard said.
Christian was breathing heavily. Gaspard handed him a water skein. The prince pulled out the stopper and gulped it down. “I led them away,” he said in between breaths. “They will still come looking, but I think we should be safe for tonight.” He took the reins to lead the horse around to cool it down. “Where is Elise?”
“On her way to St Petersburg. She intends to stay there for the winter.” Gaspard laughed and embraced Christian, almost picking him up off his feet in a bear hug. “This means that we made it. We managed to escape.”