by Kailin Gow
“Relax,” Zach reaches out to touch my chin. “They’re invited too.”
“But I still have to…” Thomas is walking up to us with Mason right behind him.
“Leela,” Thomas rushes forward. “When I saw you fall…”
He reaches out for my hand, and I feel Zachary stiffen as he does.
“I’m fine,” I say.
“Fine and going to my graduation party,” Zachary adds. “You’re both welcome to come.”
“You think I’d go anywhere with you after what you pulled?” Thomas demands in an angry tone. “You deliberately nearly let Leela drop. I bet you only caught her again so it would make you the favorite with the crowd.”
“I didn’t deliberately slip,” Zachary insists in an equally angry tone. “Whatever you think of me, and I know what you think when it comes to Leela, I wouldn’t do that.”
“You slipped, and you’ve got every reason to let her fall.”
“But he didn’t,” I point out.
That makes Thomas look, if anything, even angrier. “You’re trusting him now?”
“I have to,” I say. “Working with him is the best way to survive here, Thomas.”
“Really?” Thomas glares at Zachary. “So, why did you slip?”
“Someone flashed a light in my eyes.”
“I saw that,” I say. “Did you see where it came from?”
“One from the oddly dressed crowd, I think,” Zachary says. He doesn’t look comfortable about it. “I think they must have something to do with the Center. You saw the way Dex was with them.”
That’s what I thought about them too. “Why would they come here, though?” I ask.
“I think they probably come to every performance,” Zachary says. “I’ve seen them though… in visions.”
Visions. “I need to talk to you, Zachary,” I say. “About my mother.”
Despite Thomas being there, Zachary takes me into his arms. “It’s okay, Leela. I know. She was having visions before she fell.”
So she’s not crazy, but really seeing people? I don’t know how he knows that, and I don’t get the chance to ask, because Dr. Dex heads over to us then.
“Leela, Zachary, good performance tonight. The crowd loved your ‘young couple in love’ act. Keep it up and you could go far.”
“It won’t be hard to pretend,” Zachary says, slipping an arm around my waist.
Dr. Dex smiles. “Good. Very good. Even our… visitors ate that one up. Particularly the part where you only just caught her.”
Zachary’s fingers intertwine with mine. “I plan on continuing to catch her as long as I can.”
Dr. Dex laughs. “Go home and celebrate graduation, or whatever it is you were going to do.”
He adds that like he doesn’t already know. I doubt there’s much he doesn’t know around the circus. He walks off and Zachary steps back from me, looking at Mason and Thomas.
“So, do you two want to come to the party with us?” Zachary asks.
Thomas looks at him for a second or two, then at me like he’s deciding something. “No thanks, I have to take Mason back.” Thomas steps up to me and kisses my forehead. “Have fun Leela, really celebrate how far you’ve come already. See you later.” Then he was off.
Chapter 19
As Thomas walks away with Mason, I watch, and I realize that as much as I want to spend time with Zachary, I’m not really dressed for a party. Plus, there’s Mom to think about.
“I need to go home too,” I say.
Zachary doesn’t look happy about that. “You said that you were going to come to the party.”
“I’m still going,” I promise. “I just need to head back home first. You don’t want me there like this, do you?”
“I think you look beautiful,” Zachary shoots back. I get the feeling that he just doesn’t want to be apart from me, which is kind of sweet, and definitely unexpected, but I still need to go home.
“I want to check on my mother too,” I explain.
Zachary nods. “Let me give you a ride back then. I have my parents’ truck with me.”
That’s actually kind of impressive. I know the Niles’ have a truck. It’s one of the main ways they’re able to bring in goods from all around the area. But the idea that they’d lend it to Zachary just for this… I shake my head though. “Thomas and Mason are already going. If I hurry, I can catch up with them.”
Zachary doesn’t look happy about that. Is he… is he jealous? That’s almost enough to make me laugh, just at the idea of Zachary Niles being jealous about me. It doesn’t work.
“That’s fine,” he says at last. “I’ll see you at the party later then.”
He kisses me then, softly but still deeply, and it’s almost enough to change my mind, until I see how far away Mason and Thomas are getting.
“I promised,” I say, “so I’ll be there.”
I start to go, but he catches my arm, pulling me back to him so that I’m pressed tight against him. I can feel his strength, and this close, I can sense just how worried he is.
“When you nearly fell off the trapeze tonight, Leela, my heart stopped. I couldn’t breathe. I tried to stay cool on the outside, but I was terrified, Leela. The idea of you falling… I’d rather have fallen myself than let you fall. Even with the rules saying I can’t interfere, I’m not going to let you die. I’m never going to let you get hurt the way Sandy did.”
“I’m not sure it’s up to you,” I say, and hug him back. “Zachary, it isn’t something you can control. If I do get hurt, then you can’t blame yourself. Tonight… well, I’m glad you caught me, but I wouldn’t want you getting hurt either.”
“I know, and that’s part of why I…” he pauses. “I’d pull out of the circus if I could, to make it easier for you, but I can’t. I need to be there. Those people from the Center. They’re caught up in it all, and I want to know what’s happening. This whole thing is turning out to be more complicated than I thought.”
I think back to those visitors. I can’t help thinking about them when one of them nearly got me killed. “Who are they?” I ask Zachary, even though I doubt he knows much more than I do about them. “I’ve never seen Dr. Dex behave that way with anyone. He went and talked to all of them, like they were… I don’t know, special clients, or important people he had to keep happy.”
“That’s what I think,” Zachary says. “If they are from the Center, the way I think, then I think maybe they’re here to keep an eye on the circus and make sure… that’s the tricky part. I’m not sure what they’d want. To check it was running the way they wanted?”
“But that would only work if they were behind the circus,” I point out. “Or maybe if they worked high enough up in the United.”
I glance over to Mason and Thomas again, but they’re gone by now. Maybe I shouldn’t have let Zachary pull me back.
“My offer to give you a ride home still stands,” Zachary says.
“Won’t that make you late for your own party?” I point out.
“If I walk in with the most beautiful girl in the room on my arm, I don’t care.”
That makes me blush enough that I’m grateful for the darkness. We set off together in the direction of the spot where he’s left the truck, cutting through the now familiar tents and caravans of the performers to save some time.
Zachary holds out an arm and I stop. “What is it?”
He shakes his head, holding a finger to his lips, and I can hear voices. One is deep and rough sounding, while another is higher and feminine.
“This is an interesting stop,” the male voice says. “I sense more here than in the other towns that we have visited.”
“Ones who have not been transformed,” the woman adds. “Though the youths of the previous towns were more obedient. There seems to be more between the candidates here. They are willing to help one another.”
“That’s rare,” the man says. “They normally ignore one another when they are in pain but here… already the two young males helped
the one who was burning, while the male and female on the trapeze appear to have feelings for one another.”
“The ringmaster informs me that they have known one another for many years,” the woman replies. “He tells me that behavior is normal for their age group, and that we should not worry.”
“He tells you?”
“I spoke with him before coming here.”
There’s a pause, apparently as the male voice considers that. “You saw the way the crowd reacted to them. Most interesting.”
“Dr. Dex told me that we should expect to see more of that in the following performances. Their feelings are simply the way young humans react. They cannot help it.”
“As long as it does not cause problems,” the man says. “If it should somehow let the others know about the reality of their situation…”
“And how would that happen?” the woman demands. “You worry too much.”
“Or you do not worry enough,” the man suggests, in a weary tone that suggests they’ve had that conversation before. “You know the stakes of what we’re doing.”
“Which is why, if it becomes a problem, they’ll be terminated the way every other problem has been,” the woman snaps back. “But for now, it isn’t needed. As long as the crowd appreciates the performances and is reminded of the brutality of the outside world, the Circus of Curiosities is doing its job. Without it, how else would you like us to remind people that they need the Center to protect them?”
“That isn’t my argument,” the man says.
“No, you just want to kill someone. Well, as long as these ones do what is required of them, there is no need. Unless they fail in their performances. We don’t need weaklings.”
“Weakness cannot be tolerated,” the man says, like it’s a slogan he’s said a thousand times. “Illness cannot be tolerated.”
“The illness,” the woman says. “Why else do you think we had to get rid of the best physicians? Send them away to the ‘war’? Do you think we’d be able to track it without forcing people to come to the Center when they need help?”
“I know all the briefings just as well as you, thank you,” the man says. “Now come on. I want to get out of here.”
And I want to say something. I want to demand to know what all that means, yet even without Zachary’s hand clamping over my mouth, I know better than to do that. I get the feeling that these two spotting us would be not just disastrous, but maybe even fatal.
We crouch down in the shadow of one of the tents, waiting until we’re sure that they’ve gone. Then we hurry to Zachary’s truck. It’s beaten up and old, but even so, I feel safer inside it than outside. I turn to him.
“Do you have any idea what that was all about?” I ask.
Zachary looks back at me, and he looks so sad in that moment. “Why do I have to be the one to do this?” he says. “If I tell you, Leela, I’m showing you how ugly the world can be. I don’t want to have to do that. When my grandfather told me…”
“Your grandfather, or these visions of yours?”
“My grandfather,” Zachary says. “He told me before he died. But we have to get away before I can tell you more. Not here. We’ll go to your place.”
“Okay,” I say, “but maybe if you can tell me what you need to on the way, we can go directly to the party. I don’t think I can wait until I get there to hear it.”
Zachary hesitates, but then nods and throws the truck into gear. “All right, but you’re going to have to keep an open mind, Leela. A lot of this… it changes everything you ever thought about the world. Everything they taught you, everything you’ve been told, this makes it into a lie.”
Chapter 20
Zachary
I start the truck and drive, trying to think what I’m going to say. I’ve been keeping secrets for almost half my life, yet now I know I have to tell Leela. After all, her family is such a big part of the truth. Yet I’m still nervous while I try to come up with the right words for it.
“Leela, you were wondering a while back why I would join the Circus of Curiosities even though I don’t need the money, right?”
“Well, yes,” Leela says. “I mean, you and your parents have more than anyone else in Sea Cliff. Are you just trying to get out of here?”
“No,” I reply. “It isn’t about getting somewhere else. It isn’t about the Center being the big city and wanting more. It’s a lot more than that. I had a vision. A vision that means I have a mission now.”
Leela smiles at that. “You make it sound like you’re in the military.”
I look over at her. “Not exactly, but I am in a group that’s fighting. The same as my parents. The same as my grandfather before them.” I pause, just long enough to let that sink in. “The same as your parents are, Leela.”
“What?” She looks shocked. Of course she looks shocked. I’ve just told her that her parents have a whole other life she doesn’t know about.
“Not just your parents. A lot of people in Sea Cliff. I think Thomas’ parents are a part of it, for example.” Why pick them? Is it because I want to show Leela that Thomas has as many secrets as I do?
“If you’re all in some ‘group’,” Leela says. “If my parents are, then why don’t I know about it already?”
I keep driving, trying to keep my eyes on the road, but that’s hard when I want to watch her to see how she reacts.
“They wouldn’t have told you because any abilities you have wouldn’t come in until you were older. Knowing before you’re ready puts everyone in danger. Not just you, but everyone else in the group. A child, in particular… telling you might have gotten us all killed, and after that, well it was probably too late. Your father left for the war.”
Beside me, Leela nods. “He left, and Mom got sick. I guess… I guess if she did have something to tell me, she might not have had the chance. She might not have wanted to while she was sick.”
I can see it’s hard for her. I wish I could reach out for her, but driving makes that impossible. “I know this isn’t easy to believe, Leela, but it’s true. I swear it is.”
“I…” Leela pauses. “After everything I heard back at the circus, I guess I have to believe you. But if they don’t tell kids, why did they tell you already?”
“My grandfather did it,” I explain, thinking back to the day the old man sat me down and told me all about the way the world really works. “I’d already started to see things in visions and dreams. So many things that I couldn’t make sense of and that didn’t fit in with the world the way I knew it. I guess he thought that if he didn’t explain it, I’d tell the wrong person about the things I’d seen, and that would be just as bad.”
Leela pauses again, obviously thinking. That’s one thing I’ve noticed about her. She’s fearless when she has to be, but she’s also so smart. She likes to think things through. “The people before, at the circus. They said something about an illness. About sending the best physicians away so that the only treatment is at the Center. How does that connect into this? Does it have something to do with my mother’s sickness?”
This time I do risk reaching out to touch her shoulder. I want to give her that much comfort, at least. “I’ve never been to the Center,” I explain, “so there’s a lot I don’t know. I don’t know what happens there. What I do know is that the people at the Center, the people who run the United, aren’t what they seem.”
“What do you mean?” Leela asks, carefully.
“My grandfather and the people he was with figured out a long time ago that something strange was happening at the Center,” I explain. “People go there. They go there because they’re sick, or because they want a better life, or just because they’ve heard how good the Center is. But the people who go there… they change.”
“Change as in…”
“They’re completely different people.” There’s no other way to put it than that. They go there as one person, and they look the same when they come back, but it’s like there’s another person inside th
em when they do.”
Leela understands what I’m saying instantly. “When Ellis was talking about the Invaders, you said that they could take over people’s bodies. Is that what’s happening? Are you saying…”
“That the Invaders control most if not all of the people at the heart of our government,” I say. “That they’ve taken people over one by one, and we never even noticed.”
Leela gasps at that. “They’ve been in power? I thought we were fighting them?”
“Think, Leela,” I say. “They keep people ignorant about what happens at the Center. We hear about the Invaders stripping back technology, but the Center never tries to hand out any of the technology it has. Technology helps people communicate with each other, help societies advance forward, travel outside of their towns, yet somehow, the Center wants to keep it away, scarce. They want to keep it out of our hands. And then there’s the circus. Why have that? Why have something so dangerous as simple entertainment?”
“To keep us in our place,” Leela says, obviously remembering what the two unseen figures back at the circus said. “To remind us that we need them. Is that why Dr. Dex won’t help anyone? Is he really that cruel? He’s working for the Invaders?”
“That’s what it looks like,” I say. “I don’t know what’s going on. I do know… I’m at the Circus of Curiosities because I had a vision, one where I saw myself exposing the Invaders in the Center. One where I saw what happens if I don’t.”
“What will happen?” Leela asks.
“We lose the war. Not the war that they say we’re fighting, but the real war. The one in the shadows. We lose, and every human ends up as their slave.”
Leela’s hand finds my arm then. “No wonder you were so serious about getting there. With all that… all that, and you still saved me.”
“I’d do it again,” I promise. “A hundred times.” I say that with such conviction, I don’t know if Leela would pick up on how I’ve come to feel about her.
We’re close to my parents’ house now, pulling up into the driveway, but Leela is still talking.