by David Mamet
JOHN: Which coat? That’s what I forgot. To pack my coat.
DONNY (to DEL): Which coat?
JOHN: That’s what was on my mind.
DONNY: Which coat should he take?
DEL (looking up from the photograph): Mm? When were you up there?
DONNY: Where?
DEL: Up in the attic?
DONNY (simultaneous with “attic”): In the attic today, cleaning up.
DEL (of photo) (simultaneous with “up”): … this is the damnedest thing …
DONNY: Isn’t it …?
DEL: When, when could this have been taken?
DONNY: And I found that old Lap robe.
DEL: The lap robe …
DONNY: The stadium blanket we …
JOHN: Which coat?
DONNY: Which?
JOHN: How cold is it up there yet?
DEL: … a lap robe …
DONNY: The stadium blanket.
JOHN: How cold was it last week? Del?
DONNY: Just bring your regular coat.
JOHN: My blue coat?
DONNY: The melton coat?
JOHN: What’s melton?
DONNY: The blue coat. Your fabric coat.
JOHN: The wool one?
DONNY (to DEL): Is it too cold for that?
DEL: No.
DONNY: Then take it.
JOHN: My blue coat.
DONNY: Yes.
JOHN: Do I have any sweaters left?
DONNY: Up there?
JOHN: Yes.
DEL: I think so.
DONNY: I’m sure that you do.
JOHN: You think so?
DEL: They’d be in your bureau.
JOHN: And, the fishing stuff. Is it there?
DONNY: The fishing stuff. They brought back. Last week, John. It’s all …
JOHN: … they brought it back.
DONNY: Yes. It’s up in the attic …
JOHN (simultaneous with “attic”): You should have left it at the Cabin.
DONNY: It’s in the attic. You’ll see it up there.
DEL: … we were afraid …
DONNY: … they didn’t want it to Get Stolen.
JOHN: And the fishing line. Do we have that good line?
DEL (simultaneous with “line”): … we were afraid it would get taken.
JOHN: … that good heavy line …?
DONNY: … I’m sorry, John …?
JOHN: The fishing line.
DONNY: I’m sure you. Yes. Fishing line. In the same box.
JOHN: Green? The green one?
DONNY: … I …
JOHN: The green line? In the Tackle Box? Because if not, we have to stop on the way, and …
DONNY: … I’m …
JOHN: Dad said that the Green line …
DEL: What’s special about it?
DONNY: Open the box.
JOHN: … because if not …
DONNY: Find the box.
DEL: What’s special about it?
JOHN: It’s very strong.
DONNY: Find the box, open it, and check it out.
JOHN: Because that’s how we’ll know.
DONNY: That’s what I’m telling you. (JOHN exits, up the stairs.)
DEL: Port out, starboard home.
DONNY: And put some clothing on. (Pause.)
DEL (of photo): … when was this taken?
DONNY: I swear. He’s …
DEL: What? Well, he’s having difficulty sleeping.
DONNY: It’s all such a mystery.
DEL: Do you think?
DONNY: Yes. All our good intentions …
DEL: Big thing. Going in the Woods. Your Father …
DONNY: … mmm.
DEL: … big thing.
DONNY: Is it?
DEL: Hope to tell you.
DONNY: (Pause.) It goes so quickly.
DEL: Certain things remain.
DONNY: Yes?
DEL: (Pause.) Friendship … (Pause.) Certain habits.
DONNY: It goes so quickly … (Pause.)
DEL: Does it?
DONNY: Sometimes I wish I was a Monk.
DEL: Mmm … what’s that?
DONNY: I wish I were a monk.
DEL: How would that go?
DONNY: An old man for example …
DEL: … mmm …
DONNY: (Pause.) … and all his sons are gone.
DEL: … an Oriental Fantasy.
DONNY: That’s right.
DEL: “Mist” … “Mountains” … So on.
DONNY: … mmm …
DEL: And what does this man do?
DONNY: The monk.
DEL: Yes.
DONNY: Nothing. (Pause.) He sits; and gazes out at his …
DEL: Mm. Well, that’s a form of meditation …
DONNY: Gazes out at his domain.
DEL: Well, I’m sure you’d be very good at it.
DONNY: You’re very kind.
DEL: What? I’m very kind, yes. (Pause.) For it’s. A form. Of meditation. (Pause.) As are they all.
DONNY: Mm.
DEL: The thing about photography is that it is very seductive.
DONNY: Because sometimes it seems the older I get, the less that I know.
DEL: Well, it’s a mystery. The whole goddamned thing.
DONNY: Isn’t it …?
DEL: I think so. (Pause.) Goes fast. Goes quickly.
DONNY: Mmm.
DEL: … and then it is gone. (Pause.)
DONNY: No, I need a rest.
DEL (of photograph): Well, if we look here we see that the tree is gone. When would that have been?
DONNY (to herself): A fantasy of rest … (Pause.)
DEL: … Oh, oh, oh what are you doing this weekend …?
DONNY: This weekend?
DEL: Yes.
DONNY: Well. I don’t know.
DEL: You don’t know what you’re doing this weekend.
DONNY: I’m going to sit.
DEL: To sit here.
DONNY: Yes.
DEL: Do you want company?
(JOHN reenters, wrapped in a plaid blanket.)
DONNY: No. That’s not clothing.
JOHN: … I …
DONNY: You put some clothing on right now. (Pause.) What? (Pause.)
JOHN: I tore it.
DONNY: You tore what?
JOHN: I tore the blanket. I’m sorry.
DONNY: You tore it?
JOHN (simultaneous with “tore”): I was opening the box. I think there was a nail sticking out. I heard something rip …
(He shows the tear.)
DONNY: You’re saying you tore that blanket?
JOHN: I heard some …
DONNY: John …
JOHN: I was doing it too quickly. I know I heard.
DONNY (simultaneous with “heard”): John, that was torn so long ago.
JOHN: I heard it rip.
DONNY: No, it was torn years ago.
JOHN (simultaneous with “ago”): I didn’t tear it?
DONNY: No.
JOHN: I heard it rip.
DEL: You may have heard it in your mind …
JOHN: … but …
DONNY: No we tore that long ago.
DEL: I think your mind is racing.
DONNY: It’s alright, John. It’s alright. Go upstairs. And you put on some clothing … (Pause.)
JOHN: It’s tied with twine.
DONNY: I don’t understand you.
JOHN: The Tackle box.
DONNY: Box …
JOHN: … with the fishing line …
DONNY: … well, untie it. And …
JOHN: I can’t untie it. That’s what I’m saying. I tried to pull the twine off, but …
DEL (Takes out knife. Of knife.): This’ll do it.
john: I can’t …
DEL: … is it alright …?
DONNY: … If you don’t get some rest, before …
DEL (to DONNY): Is it alright?
DONNY: What?
DEL: Can he have the knife?
DONNY: … to have the knife …
DEL: … to use. To cut the twine …
DONNY (simultaneous with “twine”): What would your father say?
JOHN: It’s alright.
DONNY: He would?
JOHN: Yes.
DONNY: It’s alright for you …
JOHN: … yes. Oh, yes.
DONNY: … to have the knife.
JOHN: Yes.
DONNY (simultaneous with “Yes”): I hardly think so.
JOHN: No he would.
DEL: Then there you go. (Hands JOHN the knife.)
JOHN: Where did you get the knife, though?
DONNY: Good Lord, John … calm down tonight.
JOHN: No.
DONNY: What?
JOHN: I can’t.
DONNY: … why not?
JOHN: The Tea, the Blanket …?
DONNY: I don’t understand.
JOHN: I’m waiting for it.
DEL: You’re waiting for what?
JOHN: “The Third Misfortune.”
DEL: “The Third Misfortune.”
DONNY: Third …?
JOHN: I’m waiting to see “What is the Third Misfortune?” (Pause.)
DONNY: What does he mean?
JOHN: It’s in the book.
DEL: Misfortunes come in threes.
DONNY: Where is that book, by the way?
JOHN: Misfortunes come in threes.
DONNY: The third misfortune. I remember. Yes.
JOHN: It’s in the book.
DONNY: Wait. How long since we’ve seen that book?
JOHN: A long time.
DONNY: Ha. And you remembered it?
JOHN: Of course I remember it.
DONNY: Isn’t that odd?
JOHN: “When we think of sickness, sickness is approaching,” said the Wizard.
DEL: … That’s what the Wizard said.
DONNY: Where is that book?
DEL: It will turn up someday.
DONNY: No, did we leave it at the lake?
JOHN: Misfortunes come in threes.
DONNY: Alright, what are the three misfortunes?
JOHN: The Lance, and the Chalice; The Lance was broken by the Lord of Night, the Chalice was burnt …
DONNY: Yes. No. Not in the book, here.
JOHN: What are the others here?
DONNY: The Three Misfortunes.
JOHN: Here.
DONNY: Yes.
JOHN: Alright. One: The Pot, The Teapot broke.
DONNY: That’s one, yes. And?
JOHN: The blanket.
DEL: … the blanket.
DONNY: What about it?
JOHN: … torn …
DONNY: No, but it wasn’t torn. That happened long ago.
JOHN: I thought I tore it now.
(Sound of teakettle, DONNY exits.)
DONNY (offstage): It was torn long ago. You can absolve yourself.
JOHN: … I thought that I tore it.
DEL: But, you see, in reality, things unfold … independent of our fears of them.
JOHN: I don’t know what you mean.
DEL: Because we think a thing is one way does not mean that this is the way that this thing must be.
JOHN: The blanket was torn long ago?
DEL: That’s what your mother said.
JOHN: How?
DEL: Well …
JOHN: Did you see my hat?
DEL: … did?
JOHN: At the Cabin?
DEL: Which hat is that?
JOHN: The grey cap.
DEL: Like mine, except grey?
JOHN: Yes.
DEL: I don’t remember.
JOHN: Not like yours, actually, it’s …
DEL: I don’t remember.
JOHN: No, it’s not actually like yours, it’s …
DEL: How is it different?
JOHN: It’s. I steered you wrong. It’s not like yours at all.
DEL: Then I don’t know which one you mean.
JOHN: My Grey hat. It was on the peg.
DEL: The peg …
JOHN: … Near the door. At the cabin.
DEL: I don’t remember.
JOHN: You don’t? Why?
DEL: Because I wasn’t looking for it. (Pause.) Do you know. I’m going to tell you a game.
JOHN: A game?
DEL: A game you can play.
You and your father. Up there. Eh?
To “sharpen your skills.” (Pause.) To “aid your camping.”
JOHN: Me and my father.
DEL: Yes.
JOHN: Does he know this game?
DEL: I think that he may.
JOHN: Did he teach it to you?
DEL: No. I learned it independently.
JOHN: Um.
DEL: And. If he does not know it, you can teach it to him.
JOHN: Good.
DEL: Yes? You think so?
JOHN: Well, I think so. You have to tell me the game.
DEL: Here it is: … you write down …
JOHN: “… to sharpen our skills …”
DEL: You write down your recollections.
Of the things you’ve seen. During the day.
Then you compare them.
JOHN: I don’t understand.
DEL: To see who has observed the best.
You observe things during the day. Then, at night you write them down. To test your observation. (Pause.) Things in the Cabin, for instance. Or the woods. And, then, you see whose recollection was more accurate. (Pause.) You see?
JOHN: See who was more accurate.
DEL: That’s correct. (Pause.)
JOHN: And why is this game useful?
DEL: If you were lost it could assist you to orient yourself.
JOHN: Would it be things which we decided before to observe? Or things …
DEL: … it could be both.
JOHN: … both things we decided to observe, and things we decided, later on, we should remember.
DEL: That’s right.
JOHN: But something could have been the Third Misfortune, even though it had happened quite long ago. (Pause.)
DEL: How could that be?
JOHN: It could be if the “Third Misfortune” happened long ago. If, when it happened, no one noticed, or …
DEL: “at the time …”
JOHN: Yes, or neglected to count it …
DEL: … I …
JOHN: … until we recognized it now … And also, what could we pick. To observe, beside the Cabin?
DEL: What? Anything. The pond, the …
JOHN: … where did you get the knife?
DEL: The knife.
JOHN: Yes.
DEL: I told you. Your father gave it to me.
JOHN: He gave you his war knife.
DEL: Yes.
JOHN: His pilot’s knife …?
DEL: Yes. (Pause.)
JOHN: But we couldn’t choose the pond.
DEL: Why not?
JOHN: Because it’s changing. (Pause.) When?
DEL: … when what?
JOHN: Did he give it to you?
DEL: Aha.
JOHN: When?
DEL: Last week. When we went camping.
JOHN: Oh.
DEL: Does that upset you?
JOHN: No.
DEL: Aha.
JOHN: What do you mean?
DEL: Nothing.
JOHN: Why did you say “aha.”
DEL: Something occurred to me.
JOHN: What?
DEL: Something. (Pause.)
JOHN: We couldn’t choose the pond.
DEL: The pond?
JOHN: To observe.
DEL: No? Why not?
JOHN: Because it’s changing. (DONNY reenters with tea mugs.)
DEL: Well, then you choose something else.
JOHN: What should I choose?
DEL: Something that doesn’t change.
(Of photo.) Who, who, what is this?
DONNY: It’s the Lake.
DEL: No, please, I know where it is, I just don’t …
DONNY: … what?
DEL: … I don’t remember it.
DONNY: … you’ve seen that photo so …
DEL: … Well. I don’t remember it.
JOHN: You have a strange expression on your face. Mother: doesn’t …
DONNY: Calm down. John.
DEL: … I do?
JOHN: You’re grinning. (To DONNY.) I am calm.
DEL: … when was this taken? (DONNY looks at photo.)
DONNY: Well, the boathouse is still up …
DEL (to JOHN): It’s strange I’m grinning?
DONNY: … so it’s …
JOHN: It looks unlike you.
DONNY (of photo, to DEL): You don’t remember this?
DEL: No.
DONNY: Truly?
DEL: No. When was it taken?
DONNY (simultaneous with “taken”): Well, alright: the boathouse is up, so, I can tell you what year it is: The boathouse is up, but the birch is down, so: it’s before the War …
DEL: … it would have to be before the War …
DONNY (simultaneous with “war”): Wait a moment … (JOHN yawns. Sits on the couch.) Oh, John; are you getting sleepy?
JOHN: When is Dad coming home?
DONNY: He’ll be here when he gets here, I think.
JOHN: … I want to tell him this game.
DEL (of photograph): I remember the shirt.
DONNY: … he’ll be home soon, John.
DEL: … is this Robert’s shirt?
DONNY: What?
DEL: That I’m wearing.
DONNY: In the photo …
DEL: Yes …
DONNY: … I … (Pause.)
DEL: Do you see my problem? (Pause.)
DONNY: Alright.
DEL: Because I remember neither the occasion nor the photograph.
DONNY: … Do you have his shirt on …
DEL: Yes.
DONNY: Why would you?
DEL: Well, that’s what I’m saying.
DONNY: Can you make the pattern out?
DEL: He’s asleep.
DONNY: Finally. (Pause.) He thought that he tore the blanket.
DEL: I believe that this Trip has a “meaning” for him.
DONNY: Del, he’s always had this problem.
DEL: No, I’ve had a “clue.”
DONNY: No, you’re ten years too late. You know, Robert always said: we disagreed about it. From the first. And his theory was “let the child cry.”
DEL: … let him cry …
DONNY: To teach him to …
DEL: No, this trip …
DONNY: Del, He Always Has a Reason …
DEL: He’s a sensitive kid …?
DONNY: … whatever that means.
DEL: I think it means … Well, in this case he told me, in effect.
DONNY: … yes?
DEL: In this case it means he’s jealous.
DONNY: Jealous.
DEL: Of my trip. Last week with Robert.
DONNY: He was jealous?