by Allison Moon
Lexie couldn’t stomach any more. She ran inside and found Corwin with her laptop perched atop her knees. Hazel and Mitch still snored in their chairs.
“Who do Hindus pray to?” Lexie asked.
“What?” Corwin said through a yawn. “Ganesha. Or Kali. Different gods for different reasons. Why?”
“‘Cause Governor Blackwell is out front giving an interview, and I think he just thanked Jesus that Sharmalee survived.”
Corwin made a face. “He what?”
As if summoned by the conversation, the automatic doors parted for Blackwell and his entourage. The Governor strode into the bleach-white lobby like he owned it. His lightly-tanned skin was eerily unblemished, and gray streaks ran at his temples among an otherwise dark brown head of hair. Blackwell’s white teeth flashed in the harsh light as he directed his aides and the news crew about.
The nurse at the desk, who had been in the office watching sitcoms on her computer, rushed out to greet them.
Through a difficult and awkward phone call to Sharmalee’s parents in North Carolina, Governor Blackwell negotiated a visit with Sharmalee, but no cameras.
Corwin stared aghast and rushed to intervene.
“What are you doing?”
“Pardon?” Blackwell waved off a black-suited man with sunglasses and a discreet earpiece.
“That’s my girlfriend in there, and I don’t think she’d be okay with you holding a press conference over her bloodied body.”
Blackwell placed a large, well-manicured hand on Corwin’s shoulder. “Don’t worry young lady, I’m just going to give your friend some words of support.”
Corwin shrugged off his hand. “My girlfriend doesn’t need your support.”
Blackwell ignored her and turned to address Gretchen and her news crew. His bulk blocked Corwin from view. “Milton is my hometown. I consider it my duty to take an interest in its citizens, which include the many vulnerable students at Milton College, one of Oregon’s finest liberal arts institutions.”
He turned and entered Sharmalee’s room, accompanied only by his bodyguards and the nurse.
Corwin fumed. “That dude is using my girlfriend as a political prop. Fuckin’ douchebag.”
Lexie chattered to her, This is the dude whose son you want to bone?
“Shut up Lexie,” Corwin said.
Lexie placed her hand on Corwin’s shoulder, if only to maintain the illusion they were scared girls amid the chaos. One of Blackwell’s interns stepped over. He was a skinny white boy who wore his hair and suit the same way: high and tight.
“He’s here to help,” the boy said.
Corwin glared. “Stuff it, Brown Shirt.” The boy flinched and walked away.
Renee and Jenna returned with bags of food and a thermos full of French press. “What’s all this about?” Renee asked, gesturing to the Young Republicans and the loitering camera crew.
Before Lexie could answer, Blackwell was back, straightening his tie for one more round of filming.
He started in with bravery, poise, blah blah blah. Lexie and Corwin ran into Sharmalee’s room. They found her groggy and delirious.
“Are you okay, sweetie?” Corwin said, stroking Sharmalee’s cheek.
“Who was that man?” she mumbled.
“Just our douchebag governor, hon,” Corwin said. “I’m sorry I wasn’t the first one to see you when you woke up.”
“I was scared,” Sharmalee whispered.
Corwin sniffled and wiped her eyes, then took Sharmalee’s hand in hers. “I know sweetie, but we’ll get you home soon. We’re safe now.”
“Are we?” she asked.
The sky was edging back toward darkness when the nurse handed the discharge papers to Corwin to sign.
“Make sure to stay on the main roads,” the nurse warned. She traded Corwin the clipboard for three prescription slips. Corwin nodded and Mitch rolled his eyes. “Like that’ll help anything,” he whispered.
At home Renee and Mitch carried Sharmalee up the stairs.
“We should’ve asked for more sedatives,” Hazel said.
“I did,” Renee grunted. “The nurse looked at me like I was a junkie. Fucking racist.”
“The nurse was black, Ren,” Lexie said.
“Fine. Fucking anti-Semite,” Renee clipped. She whacked Sharmalee’s ankle on the banister. Sharmalee groaned. “Whoop, sorry sister. Eyes back on you.”
Jenna fixed snacks, and the rest of the Pack tried studying in an attempt to ignore Corwin’s sobbing as she held Sharmalee in bed.
Lexie stood in Renee’s doorframe. Renee sat in a pool of lamplight, her back hunched over her desk. Sandalwood incense burned in the corner, and stacks of books and notebooks piled on her desktop and at her feet. She tugged on her hair with one hand and scribbled formulas in her notebook with the other.
“Not now, Lex,” Renee said over her shoulder.
Lexie didn’t move, waiting for Renee to put down her pen, rub her temples and turn to face her. Instead, she kept scribbling.
“What?” Renee said.
“I’m concerned,” Lexie said.
“No shit, Lex,” Renee grumbled. “We all are.”
“So when are we going to try and find another half-blood to kidnap?”
“We’re not,” Renee said. “It’s clear it’s not the half-bloods we should be concerned about. It’s the Morloc.” She uncapped a highlighter and struck it against some text. “I think we should lay low for a while.”
“What?” Lexie almost laughed. “Weren’t you supposed to be the solider? The general?”
“Leave me alone, Lexie. I have a test tomorrow.”
Lexie stared at the back of Renee’s head, her desk lamp silhouetting her like a cameo. She was so beautiful, and so opaque. “Sharmalee was almost killed, Ren,” Lexie said. “We have to figure out what they want.”
Renee slammed down her pen and turned in her chair. “Lex, lay off!”
“No!” Lexie shouted back. “I’m not going to go about business as usual when Sharmalee was almost murdered for some reason we don’t understand.”
“I understand. I understand that none of us are safe. It was doable when it was half-bloods we were up against. We could have found them and picked them off, one by one, like we’ve been doing for years. But the Morloc? There is no fucking way.”
“You just said the Pack needed to start playing offense.”
“That was when we weren’t totally out-muscled. You don’t understand, Lex. You don’t know. This is a game-changer, and one that puts us on our backs. I don’t want this pack in any more danger.”
“We already are. By living here, we are in danger.”
“Then maybe we should go somewhere else.”
Lexie shook her head. “What are you talking about?”
“Survival.”
“Survival? Or complacency?”
Renee bit her lip and shook her head. “I’m not going to risk the lives of my pack to avenge a girl we didn’t know.”
“What happened to solidarity? Sisterhood?”
“These are my sisters. These women in this house.” Renee slammed two fingers down on her desk. “I’m not going to force them to take on the burdens of all women anymore. It’s a losing fight, and we need to win something.”
“We can win this.”
“How? By burning down the forest?”
“It worked once,” Lexie said.
“For ten years. And now they’re back. Twelve Rares should have rent Sharmalee apart in a half a second.”
“But they didn’t.”
“Not by accident. They must have a different agenda for women like Sharm than whatever they had with Bree,” Renee said.
“We’ve got to figure out what it is.”
“No. Blackwell is right. We let your daddy and all his well-armed hunter friends be our first wave. They’ll start bagging full-bloods soon, and it’ll take the heat off of us. At the very least, it’ll scare the Morloc back into hiding for a while.”
>
“A while,” Lexie snorted. “Another ten years for them to regroup and come back more murderous than ever?”
“Ten years is good enough for me. Long enough for the rest of the Pack to graduate and get out of this hellhole.”
“You want to just walk away,” Lexie scoffed.
“That’s what I want you to do, right now. This conversation is over.” Renee picked up her pen and turned her back to Lexie, going back to her frantic scribbling, alone in her pool of light.
Lexie closed the door and crept back down the hallway, thinking, or maybe just wishing, that behind the closed door, she heard Renee start to cry.
Lexie lay on her side, the window wide open, letting the half moon’s white light in with the chilly air. She’d been having a hard time sleeping again. She considered sleeping out in the treehouse, but the thought of the ghosts conjured there, the memories of love and love lost, was too much.
In the distance she heard wolves. Normal wolves. Gray wolves. Not the monsters who had overtaken the Rogue River valley, colonized it, brutalized it, claimed it as their own. She wondered what future any other creatures had here, humans included, or if this was just the start of a larger attack no one saw coming.
Lexie turned to her side to try and find sleep. A timid knock sounded at her door.
“Lex? You awake?” Corwin eased open the door before Lexie could answer. “Sharm’s having a hard time sleeping. She wants to know if we can cuddle with you.”
Lexie hesitated. Corwin rushed to explain. “She tends to run really cold for a Rare, and I can’t always keep her warm enough alone. Do you mind?”
“‘Course not. Come in.”
Corwin retrieved Sharmalee, carrying her into Lexie’s room and lowering her into the bed. They lay like spoons in a drawer, with Sharm behind Lexie, and Corwin behind Sharm. Lexie found a place to put her arm and Corwin shifted until her legs were in the right spot. Then they all sighed and settled into sleep.
Soon, footsteps padded outside Lexie’s door, and Hazel peered in. “Hey girls?”
“Yep?” Corwin said.
“Can I join you?”
The three of them nodded, and Hazel curled up against Lexie’s legs, a tiny L-shape at the foot of the bed.
Hazel started to snore immediately, and Lexie herself began drifting off when she heard Mitch and Jenna whispering at the door.
“Is there room for two more?” Jenna asked.
Lexie almost laughed, though a restive headache pushed at her forehead. Instead she beckoned with one hand, and Mitch and Jenna snuggled up to Hazel and Sharmalee’s legs.
Nearly fifteen minutes passed. Everyone’s breath deepened, and Lexie’s muscles unknotted enough that she thought she might find sleep. Just as she was perched on the edge of dreamtime, she heard a final set of footsteps. Renee tiptoed into the room and slid her lithe frame into the narrow space left at Lexie’s side.
The Pack adjusted and relaxed, and once again their breathing joined to create a soft sigh of exhalations. Lexie felt warm and safe, her sisters by her side.
15
The moon waned until only a fingernail sliver remained. The girls sat on their hands for a week, waiting for Sharmlaee to heal and for the Pack to regain their fighting strength. But Sharmalee wasn’t healing, not as fast as she should’ve, anyway. The waning moon had sapped whatever healing strength she had, and she was forced to rely on purely human functions. They all hoped the sliver of the waxing crescent, when it finally came, would help pull things in the right direction for them all.
Mitch was sulking even harder than usual. Late the next evening, Sharmalee finally told Corwin about the attack. She had been in the woods alone, armed with a simple blade for cutting herbs, collecting for Mitch. She’d been gathering goathead weed and snakeroot, the natural testosterone Jenna had been talking about. She had already gotten a few sprigs of each. She was excited, she had told Corwin, to put what she was learning in biochem to practical use. Then the twelve Rares attacked, and she had no hope of shifting. The next question everyone wanted answered was the one that no one could ask.
“Sharm, you can tell me. We’ve been there together. It’s not your fault.”
“I know!” Sharmalee snapped.
Hazel, Jenna, Lexie, Mitch, and Renee all leaned around the kitchen island, listening through the floorboards to the girls speaking above. Mitch chewed on his nails. Hazel played with the ends of her hair. Lexie tapped each finger silently on the linoleum, and Renee stood straight, arms crossed over her chest, staring softly ahead. A single pool of golden light illuminated a bowl of apples, their red reflection glowing withing everyone’s irises.
From upstairs, Corwin said, “But … ?”
“They weren’t like the Rares we’ve caught,” Sharmalee replied. “The half-blood, men-types or whatever. It was like being attacked by twelve really smart, really huge, wild animals. I don’t know what brought them together; they didn’t seem to work as a pack. But there were just so many of them. So big. So … .” Her voice trailed off, caught by tears. “I couldn’t tell what was in their eyes, whether it was sex, or power, or hate. They treated me like a doe, not a woman. It was almost scarier that way.
“I started feeling … ” Sharmalee choked back more tears. “I was flashing back. And all the training we’ve done … Fuck.” Bedclothes rustled, and Sharmalee’s voice when next she spoke was muffled, as though she’d hidden under the covers. “It was all slow-mo. I thought for sure they were going to rape me. I was so ready for it. I was processing it before it happened. Like, I was almost willing it to happen so it could be over. And for a second I thought it might go in that direction. But then they started chattering to each other, barking. I knew they were talking, but I couldn’t understand it. It was a language I’d never heard. Then they started arguing. I guess. That’s what it sounded like.
“It shook me back to presence, and I ran. I thought I could try and shift if I got some distance on them, but it was a mistake. I just got nauseous and dizzy and stumbled over myself. They caught up and were on me again. But I guess I’d run to a different part of the woods, near the sea cliffs, on the other side of the Burnout. I caught a whiff of something, and the rest of them did too. It spooked them enough that I managed to escape.”
The girls downstairs shared questioning looks, and Corwin asked the question they couldn’t.
“What was it?” she asked.
“I didn’t know at first. I was just concentrating on running, but … it’s something I’ve smelled only once before, when Archer came back.”
Lexie froze, not wanting to hear Sharmalee’s next words, but too far away to stop them: “We were in the territory of a pureblood.”
16
“Archer’s not back, Lex,” Renee called after Lexie when she bolted out the back door and into the yard.
Lexie turned, defiant. “There’s only one pureblood. Only her.”
“She’s not back.”
“How do you know?”
“We’d know. Sharm would know. Maybe it was a stale scent,” Renee said. “Maybe that’s just her old hunting ground.”
“A stale scent scared off twelve full-bloods?”
Renee crossed her arms and stood in the back doorway. Mitch, Jenna, and Hazel clustered behind her. “What do you want to do?”
“Find Archer.”
Renee rolled her eyes. “Sharmalee nearly died, the whole pack is terrified, and you’re running off to stalk your ex-girlfriend.”
“She’s the only one who can help us. The full-bloods are bigger and stronger, and they apparently outnumber us two to one. None of us have anything on them.”
“What’s it matter? As long as we stay out of their way,” Renee said.
Lexie looked at Renee with an expression of horror and incredulity.
“We will always be in their way. This town is in their way,” Lexie said. “When that highway is done, their territory will be even smaller, and where do you think they’ll
go?”
“For the easy targets. And I don’t mean any of us to be one.”
Lexie scoffed. “Weren’t you supposed to be the warrior?”
“Weren’t you supposed to be the scared one?”
“I am scared!” Lexie said. “I just don’t see how pretending nothing’s wrong will help anything.”
“But you think praying to Archer will help?”
Lexie sighed, feeling so unheard she might as well be invisible. “Yes.”
“So what would Archer do?”
Love me, hold me, take me away.
“I don’t know.”
Fight me, fuck me, tell me everything is going to be okay.
“But Christ, wouldn’t you go? If there was a chance?” Lexie asked. “Or better, wouldn’t you rather have me moping in the woods instead of in the Den?”
“No!” Renee said. “I want you here, safe, with the rest of us. Sulking in the woods looking for a disappeared girlfriend isn’t going to make any of us feel any safer.”
“I’m not trying to make you feel safe, I’m trying to actually get us safe, because you seem to have stopped caring about that. So, you can go back in there and tell everyone that you’ve stopped fighting and that they should just keep their heads down and obey curfew, but I’m going to investigate this. If Archer’s out there, I have to let her know we need her help.”
“I still care, Lexie,” Renee snipped. “I just think you pining after an ex isn’t going to help. Whatever is out there is an old scent. Archer isn’t back.”
Lexie glared at Renee. “I’m going out there, and I’m going to find Archer, and she’s going to save all of our lives.”
Renee raised her hands and backed into the house. The girls behind her stumbled back to avoid collision. “Fine. Your life. Just don’t get yourself killed, all right? Especially not waiting for your princess charming. That shit never ends up right.”