by E. Jamie
"You look beautiful."
She smiled and blushed at the compliment. “Thanks. You look very handsome.” She ran her hand down the lapel of his dark brown suit jacket.
He took her to an elegant, high-end Italian restaurant. The aroma of wine and tomato sauce filled Sara's nose as the waiter led them to their table.
A small band was on stage playing jazz, and there were a few couples on the gleaming black dance floor.
Aaron asked for the wine, and the waiter nodded and then gave them some time to look over their menus.
"This place is gorgeous,” Sara said. There were candles on the table. They made Aaron's eyes shine and softened the angles of his face.
"It is,” he agreed. “It's one of my favorite places."
"So you're more than just beer and diners, huh?” she asked with a grin.
He leaned in and grinned at her like he was about to tell her a secret. “And don't tell anyone this, but I actually love caviar."
Sara gasped and pretended to be shocked. “Oh, I don't think I can ever look at you the same way again."
"I hope so,” he said softly, reaching over to take her hand, making a shiver of pleasure climb through her nerves.
Sara leaned back, but Aaron didn't let go of her hand.
"Sara, I know we agreed to take things slow, and I don't intend to push. I just want to be honest with you. I am in love with you."
She waited for the panic over his admission. It didn't come.
"I just wanted to lay my cards on the table.” Then he smiled at her. “Now, I'm gonna order the duck. It's fantastic."
They returned to easier chatter while they ate, and he insisted she have dessert.
"Right. That's just what I need, to gain more weight,” she said with a snort.
"Oh please, motherhood makes you even more beautiful, if that's even possible."
Convinced, she got the dessert and loved it. After they were done eating, Aaron got up from the table and asked her to dance.
Sara nodded and gave him her hand. “Love to."
He was a talented dancer, and spinning around in his arms, Sara felt giddy.
She, feeling content, drove home with him. Her head was on his shoulder, and she must have dozed off because the next thing she remembered was him nudging her awake.
"We're home, sleepyhead."
When they walked back inside the house, Sara took his hand, pulled him close to her, and lifted her mouth to his. She slid her fingers into his hair and let the wonderful feeling of his mouth on hers wash over her, a warm bubble that insulated her from the harsh and ugly moments of the past. Could he be her future? Sara wasn't sure yet, and until she was, she couldn't take that next step with him. Although Lord knew, her body was more than willing.
She forced herself to pull away and just leaned against him for a few moments to catch her breath. “Tonight was wonderful, Aaron."
He brushed a soft kiss across her lips and nodded in understanding. “'Night, Sara.
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Chapter Seven
Sara took one last look at the three outfits she would be showcasing. A long red satin gown, a gorgeous black bathing suit with freshwater pearls in the opening that would show off the cleavage, and a tailored grey skirt suit. She took a chance with the bathing suit, hoping it would make her stand out and truly show her range.
It took her longer to choose what she would wear to the event. Although the showcase would be in a warehouse, it was in studio décor, and the event itself was black tie. She decided simple would be best and chose a black dress with a sweetheart neckline and black pumps. Aaron gave her a diamond necklace in a web design and long platinum diamond-shaped earrings.
She didn't want to take such an extravagant gift, but he told her she could give them back once the night was over if she wanted.
Sara zipped up the covers for each outfit and placed her hands on the back of the couch for a moment while trying to stop the nervousness racing through her. She turned to Nathan then and crouched down to zip up his jacket. They were taking him over to Jessica's who agreed to watch him tonight.
"Nauseous?” Aaron asked, coming down the stairs. He handed her white coat to her and then scooped Nathan up into his arms.
"Yeah,” she said with a rueful laugh. She took the coat from him and slipped it on.
He cupped her cheek and smiled at her. “You're gonna knock them dead. Ready to go, little man?"
"Right, well, let's hope it'll be for the right reasons,” she said with a nervous shiver.
Nathan nodded eagerly. “Gonna go pay wif Gamma!” Sara didn't bother correcting him that Jessica wasn't technically his grandma. He was much too young to understand, and it certainly helped fill the void that was left by Victoria's lack of interest in her grandson.
* * * *
Sara was grateful to have Aaron by her side because she felt like a complete fish out of water standing amid these people. They all seemed to know so much more than she did, even being amateurs. Her knees were knocking, and she nearly jumped a foot in the air when she felt a second hand on her back along with Aaron's.
"Your pieces are quiet elegant,” a woman said. She had grey hair and blue eyes and wore round glasses with no frames.
Sara recognized her face but went blank trying to think of the woman's name. Oh damn it. She panicked. Francesca ... something. She opened her mouth to thank the woman, but she didn't get a chance.
"You seem to have the every-woman in mind,” the woman said, rushing on. “Your pieces are quite elegant, but ultimately wearable. Not a hoop skirt or feather in sight. And you've included swimwear. Bravo, my dear, for such ingenuity."
Sara wasn't sure if she should burst out laughing or cry with relief.
"Yes. I believe my employer would be interested in some of your designs for our shop. Here, take my card, dear. I look forward to hearing from you.” Francesca took a glass of champagne from the waiter and then was gone.
Dumbstruck, Sara stared after her. “What just happened?"
Aaron laughed and hugged her. “Baby, I hate to say I told you so ... no, I change my mind. I think I'm going to enjoy it a lot. I told you so.” He kissed her lips. “I told you so.” He kissed her again. “I told you so.” This time, he kissed her longer, and Sara wrapped her arms around him, her heart bursting with excitement and happiness.
Aaron called everyone they knew when they got home while she sat on the couch, still trembling and out of sorts. She watched his joy over her triumph and felt her heart become irrevocably captured by him. The warm family she desired was hers for the taking. They would make her child's life so amazing, so different from hers, so full of love. When he was done, Sara reached across to him and cupped his face in her hands. “Ask me again,” she whispered.
He pulled back, confused for a moment, but then she saw realization dawn in his eyes, and they lit up. “Oh, sure. Oh, wait.” He smiled, moved off the couch, and dropped to one knee. He took her hand. “Sara, will you marry me?"
She fought back the surge of guilt that she was betraying Connor. It had been five years. Connor was in the past, and she had to keep him there if she was ever going to be happy. She knew the attraction she felt for Aaron would easily blossom into love. I love him now, she told herself. She did. The passion and love she'd had with Connor was different from what she felt for Aaron, but Sara knew she didn't want to move forward with anyone but this man in front of her. That was enough for her. She leaned down and kissed him, a kiss of affirmation and promise. “Yes, Aaron. I will marry you."
* * * *
One month later
"Quick! Cover it up. He's home!” Sara shrieked, running from the window back toward Jessica and Maggie at the sewing machine.
She was designing her own wedding gown. She had stayed up for hours one night designing it and had refused to let Aaron see it. Making a morbid joke she said, “Right, because that's just what I need, more bad luck."
Walking into the living
room, he dramatically placed a hand over his eyes. “Can I look now?"
"Yeah. Are you hungry?” Sara asked.
Aaron sniffed the air and smiled. “Starving. Kevin's a damn drill sergeant. Sorry, Ma,” he said to his mother when she shot him a disapproving glare. “Maggie, your husband thinks he's building Graceland."
"I'm sure he just wants to make their home perfect,” Jessica assured her.
"Yeah, well, he should go a little easier on his workers seeing as we're all best friends and might I add, working for free,” Aaron pointed out rubbing the rainwater off his face with the small towel Sara handed him. “I'll go take a shower. Are you ladies staying for dinner?"
"No, your father's going to want his dinner after putting up with Kevin, too."
"I've gotta get back to Elvis. I mean Kevin,” Maggie said with a smile.
Jessica picked up the box that contained Sara's wedding gown and held it under her arm.
Aaron turned to his mother and held out his arms. “Aw, Mom, is that for me. You shouldn't have."
Jessica slapped her son's hand away. “See you tomorrow, Sara,” she said, following Maggie out the door.
"Thank you both so much for helping me,” Sara called after them.
"It's our pleasure,” Jessica assured her.
Sara closed her eyes, shut the door, and stayed there for a moment, leaning against it.
"Hey, you okay?” Aaron asked placing his hands on her shoulders and turning her around.
"No,” she said, sniffling.
"What is it?” Aaron asked cupping her face with his palms.
"Your mom. She's so amazing. God, Aaron, do you have any idea how lucky you are? My mother wanted me to wear a white dress for heaven's sake. I told your mother I wanted something different, and she didn't bat an eye. She cares about me. It makes me cry when I wish she was my mom."
"Hell, if that happened, you and I wouldn't be getting married, now would we? Incest is a no-no. Did you know that?” Aaron joked, getting the desired result of a giggle.
"Now go get dinner on the table, woman. Your husband-to-be is starving.” He smiled.
Sara watched him climb up the stairs and smiled. Her child would have it so different. “Thank you, God,” she whispered.
* * * *
One year later
Jessica Dawson was crying. She held the tissue up to her nose while Sara walked down the aisle toward her son.
Sara walked alone, rejecting Kevin's offer to walk with her. “I don't need anyone to give me away. I'm mine to give.” She kissed his cheek then walked out of the door.
Sara felt no fear while she walked slowly but purposely down the aisle. Her dark hair was piled in curls on the top of her head, and only a few strands were allowed to escape and frame her face. She held a bouquet of white and yellow roses. The pale yellow gown, billowing around her, glided with her as she walked. Attached at the back was a sheer yellow shawl that gave her the appearance of having yellow angel wings. Her heartbeat was calm, regular. It surprised her, how calm she felt. This is right. That's why I'm not scared. Oh Connor, I'm giving him the best. I'm giving our child the best life without you being able to be here. You know that don't you?
Once she reached the altar, Aaron took her hand in his, and they turned toward Kevin's brother Tony, who was performing the ceremony.
Nathan, adorable in his little black tuxedo, stood next to Aaron.
Aaron slipped the wedding band on Sara's finger his eyes catching on the twin bands around her neck. He raised her hand to his mouth and kissed it. His voice was clear and strong when he spoke his vows. “Today, I stand here in front of our friends and family and make you my wife. I promise to stay by your side, to be the joy of your heart, the food to your soul, and the best person I can be for you. I promise to laugh with you when times are good and suffer with you when they are bad, to wash away your tears with my kisses, and to hold you and love you until death do us part."
Sara fought the tears in her eyes and took a deep breath, beginning her vows. “Aaron, you are my new day. A beautiful ray of light through the darkness of my despair. I thank God for sending you to me with your smile, your sense of humor, and your loving spirit. I take you today as my wedded husband, and I promise to love and cherish you all the days of my life."
Now, it was Aaron's turn to fight back tears.
Tony cleared his throat and smiling, presented them to the crowd as Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Thomas Dawson. Both bride and groom exhaled and turned to each other. “You may now kiss the bride."
"You don't need to tell me twice,” Aaron cracked, then grew serious when he leaned in and covered her mouth with his own.
Sara shivered and pressed closer to him. His lips moved against hers, claiming her.
The guests applauded and followed them out of the small chapel where they stopped on the steps to have pictures taken.
Sara had the disconcerting sense of eyes on her and lifted her head to look across the grass behind the guests where she felt the gaze was coming from.
"What is it?” Aaron asked, following her gaze.
Sara shivered in his arms. “Nothing. Someone just walked over my grave, I guess.” She gave him a nervous smile and looked again but still saw nothing. She felt it though, something. She shook her head. There was nothing there. She was just tired after spending all night up with Maggie and Jessica. That was all.
* * * *
Sara lay in Aaron's bed and waited. When she saw the doorknob turn, she held her breath. Desire and nervousness were at war within her body.
His eyes widened when he saw her. “Why? What ... I mean, I thought ... I wasn't sure if ... Sara, you don't have to do this,” he said, even as she saw the lust for her flare in his eyes.
She nodded. “Yes I do. Aaron, I promised to be your wife, in all its meaning. Not just in name only."
He sat on the edge of the bed and stared at her. Aaron grabbed her roughly to him. “Come here. God.” He crushed his mouth on hers taking her moan of satisfaction into his mouth. When they finally pulled apart, both were breathless. “I've never wanted you more than I do this second. I love you."
Sara hesitated but opened her mouth to reply in kind.
He placed a finger to her lips to stop her words. “Don't. It wasn't an invitation to say the same. Not until you're ready. It's the same with sex. Sara. I'll wait."
Sara lifted her mouth against his. “Don't wait anymore, Aaron. Make love to me.” She caressed his face with her fingertips.
"You're sure?"
"Yes,” she replied and kissed him.
He laid her back against the pillows. His mouth travelled over her neck, sending delicious shivers down her body. Sara closed her eyes at the pleasure of his hands caressing her thighs.
Behind her eyelids, she saw Connor's face, and she gasped. “No!” she wanted to scream. She bit her lip when Aaron took one of her breasts into his mouth. Not now! She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to block out Connor's face, but it refuse to depart. Please don't do this to me! Her eyes filled with tears, and Aaron's mouth moved back to her lips while his fingers stroked her between her legs. Her hips rose to meet his movements. She reached down, took him into her hand, and stroked with slow pressure until he was full and thick in her palm. She kept her eyes open.
It's Aaron here, she told herself. Aaron touching me, Aaron who I'm touching, Aaron loving me. Her eyes traveled over his face as she drank in his features. She ran her fingers along the muscles of his back while he continued to bring her body back to life with his touch, followed soon by his mouth. Sara gasped while he made love to her with his tongue. She felt the tightening of her impending orgasm, and it took just a minute or two before she cried out his name and trembled beneath his tongue.
Positioning himself between her thighs, Aaron sank deep inside of her with a low groan, and Sara locked her legs around his waist. “God,” she said with a moan, feeling him begin to move inside of her.
All thought of Connor left her, and she wa
s grateful. Thank you, God. Sara knew she would not be able to make love to her husband if Connor was here in her mind. He'd always be in her heart, her soul, but he could not be here in bed with them.
Aaron grabbed her hips and thrust into her over and over with a deep, delicious friction. “Yes ... oh God, Aaron, please,” Sara pleaded as she felt the flickers of arousal flared to life once again beneath him and her muscles clutched around him. She whimpered in protest when she felt him slow his thrusts, to stop his release, she guessed. “Don't stop,” Sara begged and ground her hips against his, grabbing him from behind to push him in even deeper. He withdrew from her, and she protested, arching toward him. His fingers moved between their bodies to stroke her, and he thrust back inside in one powerful movement, rolling his hips, which sent a shudder of sweet tension through her body before he withdrew again. “God, Aaron. Stop that,” Sara begged, reaching to grab at his hard length.
He lightly slapped her hand away. “Not so fast, greedy little baby. Say the words. Tell me you want me."
His eyes locked with hers, and the silent command was there between them. Want me, no one but me. Sara stared back at him, her husband, alive poised over her, flesh and blood beneath her fingers and gave up the ghost of Connor. “Only you,” she said out loud and was rewarded with the hard, deep push of his cock into her that sent Sara crying out. Her orgasm rocked through her from what felt like every nerve ending.
Aaron followed, spilling himself inside her in hot, thick bursts and crying her name as his release sapped his strength. She wove her fingers through his sweat-dampened hair and knew she had made the right choice. For so long, she'd felt dead like Connor. Now she chose to live. Not just for her child but also for herself. She would love Aaron with the same heart she would always love Connor with, but now she would put the memory of her and Connor's love behind her in a secret part of her heart, and she would live for the love she now had.
* * * *
Sara opened her eyes, and for a split second, she was disoriented by the warm body beside her. Connor, she thought, remembering the too few moments she had woken up in his arms.
Her heart almost felt like it exploded in pain, and she had to bite her fist to keep from crying. No. Connor was dead. This was Aaron's chest she felt rising and falling with each breath. She looked up at his peaceful features while his breath caressed her face. She closed her eyes and felt reassured. Aaron was here with her. She had no reason to be sad anymore, but her heart knew differently. Her heart had broken and was only now beginning to mend. Would she always feel this tormenting pain when she thought of her first love?