by Calinda B
Cam allowed some small measure of acceptance towards Fabio. If he could keep Chérie safe and offer her some comfort, that was okay. And maybe Fabio would get to experience what it felt to be the outsider. On stand-by while Chérie was focused on someone else. He took a bit of pleasure at that thought until Lightning Rod interrupted him.
“So tell me what happened to you? Besides the abduction, I mean. When I found you, you smelled like fur.”
“Like fur!?” Cam spluttered, feeling his face. “I didn’t sprout any fur, did I?”
“Not that I can see, that’s just what I smelled. And your energy seemed incredible…like when you bounded up the ladder out there.”
“Yeah, I don’t know what that was about. Angela has this weird effect on me. She was standing under the tree where I was hiding, and I felt this tug, like I had to move against my will and go down and hold her.” He shuddered. “It’s freaky to feel like you have to do something you really, really don’t feel inclined to do.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard of stuff like that. People doing stuff against their will…”
“So anyway, I’m up there, about to drop to the ground and warp my arms around Angela…” Again, Cam shivered involuntarily. “…and then I thought of Chérie. And I felt that power roll through me like when we…” He stopped speaking and looked away.
Lightning Rod laughed. “Yeah, Mano told me about you and the ka. What a great way to gather power.” He laughed again.
Cam quickly moved on. “So I think of Chér, and then the muscles in my arms start to get all sinewy and bulging. It was sort of like when I’ve made it to the top of the wall when I’m rock climbing and all my muscles are stiff and engorged with blood.”
Lightning Rod let out another laugh. “Yeah, I’ve been engorged a time or two myself.”
Cam shook his head. “You find this funny, huh? Always a kidder…” He picked up the remains of a cracker and tossed it in his mouth. “And all my senses became heightened…like I could hear things and feel things in a way that I’ve never experienced. I felt like a…well, like an animal.”
Lightning Rod nodded. “I had to train to get to that place. That’s what I was talking about when I said I open all my senses and get in the zone. I don’t think I experience it the same way you do, though. That sounds cool.”
“I suppose,” Cam agreed. “It’s kind of weird, actually. Would you believe that I actually started growling?”
“Like when we were in the sweat lodge? That was something fierce. Between you and the dreamling outside, Mano and I couldn’t tell who was going to win that fight. We thought the dreamling was going to tear open the lodge and that you two animals were going to rip each other’s throats apart.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“No, Mano and I talked about it afterwards. Mano said something like, ‘you have no idea what or who you are.’”
“What, and he has an idea of who I am?”
“Don’t get all bent, Cam. I’m just telling you what we talked about after the sweat. This is your journey. Some of us just get to comment on the story.”
“Yeah, okay, sorry…” Cam muttered. “I just keep hearing this kind of shit. Like Mano telling me the elders are worried about me, and Chérie and Natalie Epic weeping around me before I came up here. It’s like people keep seeing things about me that I don’t sense.”
“Maybe you’re blocked to sensing them, Cam.”
“What do you mean?”
“Mano thinks you’re resistant to knowing anything about yourself that’s not of the physical. He says you refuse to allow that you’re more than muscles and bones, even though you have all these amazing experiences.”
“You two old women have spent a fair amount of time gossiping about me, haven’t you?” Cam snipped.
“Get over it, Cam. We just want to help. But it’s like that old parable – you can lead the horse to water…”
“…but you can’t hit him over the head with it,” Cam finished. “I’ve got it. I know I can be stubborn sometimes.” He thought for a moment. “Thanks for your honesty, Lightning Rod. Maybe I can let this soak in.”
“Anytime, Cam.”
Cam and Lightning Rod sat in silence, surrounded by breathtaking beauty. The sun shone through the window, spreading a wash of light across the roughhewn wooden floor. Cam felt himself long to spread out like a big cat and bake in the heat of the day. He cringed at the image, bringing himself back to the present. “So, what do we do now?”
“We wait, Cam, we wait. Mano said we’d know when it was time to begin.”
Chapter 41 – Zuri
Zuri, Mano, and Severe were all sitting in Mano’s pick-up truck, racing down the road. Zuri was wearing a men’s sweatshirt and men’s sweat pants, an outfit that she was not accustomed to. She was even wearing a pair of Cam’s tennis shoes with socks crammed in the toes. Her preferences were tasteful, high-end clothes with lots of sex appeal. This morning, Mano had scrounged around Cam’s room to find her something ‘suitable’ – his word, not hers – to wear to whatever it was they were going to do today. He thought the clothes would be a better fit than his apparel, but Zuri was not so sure. She was a curvy gal, and Cam’s clothes were a little bit snug.
The threesome pulled up to Charley Wolf-Rider’s house over on the Kitsap Peninsula west of Seattle. The house was small, but bursting with activity, kids spilling out of the house from every opening.
Charley came walking out of the house calling back over his shoulder towards the open window. “You get the goddamned groceries. I’ve got an emergency to attend to. And clean up your room when you’re done, you hear me? I’ll tan your hide if I get home, and you haven’t taken care of business…my business.” Muttering under his breath, Zuri and Mano heard something like “Teens and their business…”
Charley walked over to the truck and greeted them. He ignored Zuri and looked directly at Mano. “This here’s the girl that will hold the circle steady, huh? Does the girl have any training?”
Zuri spoke up. “The girl’s name is Zuri Davidson, and no, she doesn’t have any formal training in spiritual practice.”
Charley continued to ignore her, looking at Mano for confirmation.
“No training, but grounded… I think you and she can hold the energy steady while Severe and I launch into the spirit world.”
“Huh,” was Charley’s only reply. “You can follow me. I’ve got all my supplies in my truck. We’ll head out a ways to a place I know that’s perfect.” Not waiting for an answer, he walked resolutely to his pick-up truck.
When Mano started up his Chevy, Zuri fumed. “Couldn’t he even look me in the eye? Look at my face or something?”
“Get over it. That’s just his way. He’ll acknowledge you by and by if he gets to know you.”
Zuri said nothing in reply. She fingered Severe’s furry body, nestled between her and Mano on the bench seat. You’re no picnic either, she thought towards Mano. They hadn’t shared but a handful of words since leaving the club. She’d slept on a small couch last night – a couch, mind you. When did people park Zuri Davidson on a couch? She’d barely slept a wink. Maybe a man who grunted like a chipmunk was not all bad. At least he treated her with respect. This Mano guy was too much…when and if they got Cam out of harm’s way, she planned on going their separate ways and never crossing paths again. But then she’d think of that darn snake tattoo that Chérie had mentioned. That little minx…
This morning and throughout the day, Mano had barked orders, made phone calls, and gathered supplies, leaving her and Severe to keep each other company. The only thing she had enjoyed was the food he’d given her. The man was an outstanding cook. The rest of the time, she’d wandered around his house, read, or listened to music.
They drove at a clip past trees, fields, and water. Charley turned off the main road onto a dirt road that sliced a hole through the woods. They continued up this road a ways until they reached a small clearing with a cabin. Parking their cars,
they got out and convened. Charley and Mano continued to ignore Zuri. Why, oh, why had she agreed to assist? She reached out a hand to pat Severe’s head. At least the dog responded to her. She was not used to being ignored. Zuri was usually at the center of attention, commanding it, bathing in it, making things happen. In a pissy mood, she and the dog walked back to the car and sat.
The men’s voices grew louder, and Z looked over at them. Arms were waving, hands were gesturing, and the two men were in each other’s face. Charley would point over in her direction and shout or make obscene gestures. Maybe they’d turn around and go home. This was not her scene, not her comfort. She loved living in the heart of Seattle, right downtown. Chérie lived for this kind of environment; she did not. But thinking of Chérie, she remembered why she chose to come. Her friend was in pain, and they were going to help. Resolutely, she decided to accept the lack of attention, allow for the green surroundings, and lend whatever assistance she could. Those thoughts made her feel better about the day.
Mano called to the dog. “Come on, mutt. To heel…”
“Should I come too, or would you like me to sit in the car all day?” she snipped. He waved a hand at her, gesturing that she should follow.
She trailed behind the men into the woods, pushing past branches, stepping over logs, and feeling a general sense of unease. When they came to a small clearing next to a stream, she gasped. The place was beautiful, right out of a fairy tale. Moss draped the branches of the immense trees. Ferns lined the clearing. The stream was small, but held an abundant flow of water. Insects and dragonflies hovered over the water.
Charley glanced over at her. “The princess likes what she sees, huh?”
“Yes, the princess approves,” she concurred, not sparing Charley a glance.
“Good, cause we’re going to be here a while.”
Zuri looked nervously at the trees and back towards the car. “How long?” She didn’t like the place that much.
“A while…” Charley answered. Then he and Mano got busy preparing the space for whatever it was they were about to do. “Sit…” He pointed to a blanket lined space in the middle of the clearing.
Zuri walked over and sat. Charley sat to her left, Mano to her right.
Charley had a red cloth pouch hanging from his neck. He reached inside and pulled out a string. “Confess…” He nodded at Zuri.
“Confess to what?”
“Whatever you’d like to confess to. Recite your sexual inconsistencies. Your unskillful ways. We need to purify to prepare for the ritual. Mano, you go first so the girl gets the idea.”
The girl… Zuri scowled back at him. Charley, of course, ignored her. And sexual inconsistencies? What kind of perversion was she about to embark on? She glanced back at the trail, calculating how long it would take to run back to the car.
Mano began speaking. “I’ve had lusty thoughts about a woman.” He flicked his gaze over to Zuri. “I’m eager to end my celibacy.”
Zuri felt a strange sensation in her core. She glanced at Mano and narrowed her eyes. He had a strange way of showing interest.
“And I’ve held satisfaction over a friend’s recent split with her partner.”
Oh, so he wasn’t talking about me. She sighed in what she hoped was relief.
“I’ve wanted my friend to split up with this woman for a while now. The woman’s a bitch.”
Zuri glanced back over at Mano and felt a surge of hope. She’d better quash that feeling, and fast. She had a feeling this guy would be a challenge.
Mano nodded at Charley. Charley tied two knots in the string. The men turned their gazes towards Z.
“My turn?” She thought for a moment. “I’ve made fun of a man for not being able to express himself in bed.” She saw Mano’s lips quirk in a small smile. “And I’ve been bored sexually for a while now. There’s no challenge in it anymore.” She watched Mano’s eyebrows rise and fall. “Let’s see…I ignored this same guy…the guy I made fun of…I ignored his safe word the other night. I was mad at him and wanted to give him more pain.” Mano’s lips again pressed into a tiny smile. “And I got a perverse thrill when he started whimpering.” She noticed Mano looking up at the sky and back. Was that an eye roll? Was he making fun of her? “Okay, I’m done.”
Charley nodded and tied several knots in the string. “Intoxication?”
“Are you talking to me? Do I ever get intoxicated? All the time…I like to get high.”
Charley looked at Mano and frowned. Mano gave a small shrug.
Zuri was furious. “What, am I in the confessional right now? I didn’t exactly sign up for this…this…whatever it is we’re doing here today. I don’t even know what it is. I only know that my friend is hurting, and when a friend is hurting, I’m going to do whatever I can to assist her.”
Charley and Mano looked at each other again. “She’ll be fine,” Mano affirmed.
Charley nodded and tied a big knot in the string. “Now, you two go and purify in the creek.”
Mano got up and reached for Zuri’s hand. An electric shock shot through her fingers upon contact. She followed Mano and Severe over to the bubbling stream.
Severe stepped right into the stream, lapping up refreshment. She lifted her head, wagged her tail at Zuri, and then lowered her muzzle back into the brook. Mano removed his shoes, pulled up his pants, and stepped into the water. He looked over at Z and indicated that she do the same.
The water was icy, causing an instantaneous numbing sensation. Zuri let out a small shriek. She watched Mano reach down and scoop up a handful of water. He lifted his hands up over head and let the water dribble onto his scalp. He did this two more times, turned to Zuri, and indicated that she do the same.
“Should I do anything…think anything?”
“Ask for purification.”
“Who am I asking?”
“The Great Mystery…”
Z nodded. Okay, Great Mystery, whatever that is, purify, please. She scooped up the chilly water and sprinkled it over her head. A sharp burst of cold hit her scalp and face. She did this two more times, as Mano had done, and realized that she felt curiously refreshed…curiously cleansed. She looked over at Mano who was staring intently at her. Again, she noticed a shiver of excitement in her loins. She brought the tattoo snake to mind. Chérie and her wicked little hint... “How did I do?”
“Fine…” was all he said. He took her hand once more and led her back to the clearing.
Once they’d all resumed their places, Zuri noticed that Charley now had prepared a burning coal on top of a small clay plate. An earthen urn held several small, dried root-like things. A stick, with what looked like deer hooves dangling from leather strips, was placed to his left. A hand-painted Shaman frame drum, covered with taut dried leather, was to his right.
Charley reached in his pouch, pulled out an amber crystalline substance, and sprinkled it on the coal. Sweet smelling incense filled the air. Charley stood and proffered the smoke in all directions, then lifted it above and swept it below. He sat again. He grabbed the stick and handed it to Zuri. “You’ll use this to keep the energy moving. Shake it when it feels right.”
Zuri took the proffered rattle. “How long do I shake it?”
“As long as we need it…as long as it feels right.”
“How long will that be?”
Charley shook his head at her and looked over to Mano, his lips a tight slash.
Mano gave her a surprisingly gentle look. “We’re doing a sacred ceremony, Zuri. There’s been too much going on to fill you in on the details. Severe and I are going to enter the Spirit World and try to track the star dreamling for Cam.”
“The star dreamling…?” Zuri stammered. Chérie hadn’t mentioned a star dreamling last night. She was going to have to have a talk with her friend.
“Right,” Mano continued. “It’s something I’ve been training to track. So Severe and I will enter the Spirit World and track the dreamling, and you and Charley will hold the space. I got a
good feeling about you at the club which is why I asked you to assist here.”
Good feeling, huh? He had sure fooled her.
Mano went on. “You’ll be the only one not using the sacred substance here. You’ll maintain our ground, our earth. I trust you to manage this task.”
Hearing this, Zuri felt a swell of pride. “What’s the sacred substance?”
“It’s peyote.”
“Peyote? Why can’t I do it, too?” She’d always wanted to try peyote.
“This isn’t a party, Zuri. It’s a sacred process. It’s not something you just do for fun.”
So much for the gentleness…now Z felt schooled again. This Mano guy sure had a strange effect on her. She wasn’t used to a guy getting the upper hand over her. She picked up the rattle. “Alright, me and my rattle here will make sure you boys…and girl…” She looked over at Severe. “…I’ll make sure you boys find your way back home, is that what you want from me?”
Mano nodded and looked back at Charley. “Roadman? Ready?” Then, he turned to Zuri, and said, “The roadman is our guide, our leader here. We usually perform this ceremony with several people and Charley, who is a trained Shaman, holds this role for us.”
Charley gave a grunt and a nod. He extracted dried tobacco leaves and rolling papers out of his pouch and passed one to Mano and kept one for himself. Mano and he rolled up the leaves in the paper and lit them, using matches that Charley produced. They each inhaled and let out the smoke with a song in a language Zuri did not recognize. Then Mano handed his cigarette to Zuri, saying only, “Pray…”
Zuri took the smoke, took a puff, and formed a prayer for Chérie’s well-being and Cam’s safety while blowing the smoke out. Then she handed the cigarette back to Mano.
After this process was complete, Charley took one of the peyote buttons out of the small urn and handed the urn to Mano. Placing it in his mouth, he picked up the drum and drum-stick, and beat a slow steady rhythm.
Zuri sat, unsure of what to do. She listened to the beating drum and gazed at the sky which was turning pink and purple like a bruise. It did not look beautiful to her; it looked disturbing and menacing. She watched the bruise turn dark and ugly as the sun set below the horizon. She looked at the rattle in her hand and thought this was a good time to start to shake it. It seemed that the energy here could use a bit of shaking up.