by Calinda B
He recalled discovering the pleasures of sticking his thing inside of a girl when he was young. It was what kids did, right? He remembered leaving home when he was a teen and getting lost in the world of drugs, smoking, drinking, and fucking. He had loved doing all of them. Loved to fuck. Loved to drink, loved to get high, loved to smoke…really loved to fuck. Did he already say that? Had let go of drugs when one of his friends overdosed, but the drinking, the smoking, the fucking…that was all part of his makeup, right? That was who he was, right? A lusty, pleasure-seeking guy…nothing wrong with that, was there?
He climaxed inside of Angela and collapsed on top of her sweaty, pillowy breasts. He wondered if he could smoke in his dream world so he pulled out of her and looked around for cigs. Then he stared at her like he had never seen her before. Maybe he never had. “Are you my manifestation?”
“No, Cam. I’m really here with you. You and I are not finished with one another.”
“Why not? I think I’m with someone else…” He couldn’t remember who, but knew he was with someone.
“You are, but you haven’t let go of me.”
Cam squinted and recalled Angela texting him and stalking him in his life on Earth. He remembered trying to get away from her to be with someone else, but he couldn’t remember who or why he had wanted to get away from Angela so bad. He’d had great orgasms with her, hadn’t he? She’d allowed him to satisfy his cravings and hadn’t minded when he hadn’t wanted to be with her as…you know, a boyfriend, right? She’d signed on for the friends with bennies plan, right?
As Cam tried to sort things out in his head, Angela assumed the form of a python – a huge, yellow mass of muscle. She wrapped around and around his body and began to squeeze. “I want you, Cam. I don’t care what I have to do to get you. You’re mine.”
“Wait a minute here, Ang.” Cam freed an arm and began to unwind himself from her constricting embrace.
“I’m not waiting for anything anymore, Cam. You’re mine. We had a ceremony, remember? You’re my husband, remember?”
The memory of being ensorcelled in the woods ruptured Cam’s head. Horror crept into his mind as he wrestled with Angela’s sinuous form convulsing all around him. “That was no ceremony. That was entanglement via witchcraft!”
“You let it happen,” Angela hissed. “You’re still attached to me via pleasure cords.”
Cam started yelling. “Stop it. Stop it. Let me go.” He torqued his leg and gave her a vicious kick.
“You stop it, Cam. You let go of me, you craven, pleasure-craving animal.”
She assumed her human form, gave him a wild-eyed look, licked her lips, and touched her breasts in that way that Cam loved. It made him hot when a woman touched her breasts like Ang was doing. Cam’s eyes glittered. “Yeah, baby… Push them together. Squeeze them. Yeah, like that.” That caused his cock to begin to harden again.
“You want me, don’t you, cowboy?” Angela’s hand moved down to her sex. “You just can’t let me go, can you?”
“You’re right. I can’t. I can’t let go of you. I love to fuck you, Ang, you’re the best. I love being inside of you, love fucking you.” Cam heard what just flew out of his mouth and was immediately disturbed. Was she right? Was he the one staying attached to her through lust? He had loved to sex her, loved to slake his thirst by pounding inside of her, against her, on top of her. But he let her go when Chérie advised him to, right? That had been his choice, right? Right? His choice. Right? Distressed and confused by what he was thinking, he pushed away from her and scrambled to the other side of the room.
With his back plastered against the dappled wall, awareness dawned in his mind like a sunrise. His lusty intentions weren’t all bad, now were they? Hadn’t his days of intoxication allowed him to get free of his fucked up childhood home until he could figure out a new plan? Hadn’t all his lust and cravings served some small purpose? And, really, wasn’t he the same lusty asshole with a little bit of evolution going for him? Because when it got down to it, he still loved to be physical with a woman, still thirsted, still craved sex. Only now he’d discovered a new element of caring that made sex even more satisfying. He couldn’t remember who he cared about, however. But maybe he should just quit the self-condemnation…you know, allow that everything he had done to this point had some purpose. He looked over at Angela who was glaring at him with seduction and hatred. “You’re pissed off at me, huh?”
She was now in a state of part snake, part human. “Yes,” she hissed. She began to slither off the bed in his direction.
“Hold up here, I’ve got something to say to you.”
“Not interested,” she hissed, wriggling towards him in relentless pursuit.
Cam bounded of the way. “Angela, I need to say something to you. Listen to me.”
“No.” She caught up to him and twined around his arm.
Cam peeled her off him, freaked at her appearance. She was a long, yellow python with the face and the long purplish-brown hair of Angela. Her eyes, however, were yellowish-green with a black slash slicing from top to bottom. Cam quivered from being regarded by her cold, yellow stare. “Hey…I never told you how much I enjoyed being with you.”
“Yes, you did.” She began encircling his legs. “That’s why I thought I meant something to you.”
He hopped up and down, shaking his arms wildly, freeing himself, and raced to the other side of the room. “Well, I never told you how good it felt to be inside of you.”
Angela shot after him. “Yes, you did.” She started slithering up his leg, bunched around his hips and began to bear down on his chest. “That’s why I thought you loved me.”
“I never said anything about love,” Cam protested. The cool, plastic feel of her scales gave him the creeps. It reminded him of the snake-skin leather belt his dad had used to “discipline” him. He pushed and wriggled against her. “You mistook my intentions.”
“You took advantage of me.”
“It was an opportunity.” Cam pried the smooth, scaly muscle off of his chest. “I took advantage of an opportunity, yes.”
“You took advantage of me.” Angela’s snake-like form quickly closed around his ankles and gave a sharp jerk, causing Cam to topple to the ground with a thud. “I’m a person, not just an opportunity.”
“Yes, you are, Ang. You’re a person, and I truly did take advantage of you to satisfy my desires.” He reached down and untangled his ankles, making quick, staccato movements with his feet to keep her from sinuating around him again. “I enjoyed you. I wanted you. I wanted to be with you and to have sex with you.”
“I wanted to make love to you.”
“I told you from the start, it wasn’t going to happen. You let yourself hear what you wanted to hear.”
“No, you manipulated me.”
Cam raced to the other side of the room. Angela swiftly undulated along, easily catching up to him. She began winding around his legs again.
Her face was freaking him out…a snake with a face…a face with a thin, flickering forked tongue and yellow-green eyes. He shuddered and began to salivate like he was going to vomit. Fighting his revulsion, Cam spoke with reason, trying to pluck her off of his knees. “No, Ang, I didn’t manipulate you. You didn’t listen to me. You are not my victim. You’re the victim of your own warped mind.”
Angela blinked her cold eyes at him. “What did you say?”
Cam continued to unwrap her tail from his legs. “I said you are not my victim. I made mistakes along the way, but we got together with consent.”
Angela paused, as if considering what he said. “I don’t think so, Cam.” She bound his calves even tighter.
“Jesus, Ang, you agreed to what we did.” Cam wrenched and pulled her muscular form from his thighs. “I didn’t make you have sex with me, any more than I made you learn how to cast spells.” He was starting to sweat from exertion, or at least that was how it seemed.
“Okay, but you allowed the spells to work on you.”
“Whatever, Ang, let’s just both let go here, okay? I made mistakes, you made mistakes. You’ll find someone else to…” he started to say stalk, but quickly bit the word back. “You’ll find someone else to love.”
“Not like you,” Angela wailed.
“No, not like me, but maybe better. Maybe you’ll find someone with whom to share a meaningful relationship, not just sex.” After you get some help. Cam yanked her off of him and vaulted backwards. He felt like a chimp in the jungle with all this bouncing around.
Angela contemplated what he had just said, glaring at him with cold, reptilian eyes. Then she blinked in surprise like a great idea had formed. After a few moments, she assumed full python form again. Her head grasped her tail, and she started to suck. Cam watched, mesmerized. Making pleasurable moans and grunts, she sucked and sucked until her entire scaly yellow body was inside of her mouth. Then, with one last pull, she disappeared with a loud pop.
Cam sat in the silence, bewildered. Was she really gone? He thought about what had just occurred. He’d been pretty honest with her, honest with himself, and accepted things about himself that he’d tried to shove away. He really did love to have sex – a lot. But he was learning that he loved to make love even more. He realized he didn’t want to do sex as much as he wanted to share sex – like it was a communion of sorts. It could be his new religion, he thought with a smile. He’d never done the church thing much – couldn’t relate to a God who let his dad pummel his mom. But if he revered his partner, like he thought he was learning to do with someone, if he could use the act of sexual communion as an act of worship…what was the harm? Hell, wasn’t that a good thing? There was something a little bit empty about just jacking off. Not like he’d never do it again…when the need arose and there was no one around, well…sometimes you just had to take care of yourself, right?
And the recent smoking? That was just a strange, comforting fall-back on an old friend sort of thing…an old friend who, as wicked as he was, had distracted him out of a difficult circumstance. He’d let go of it by and by…for good this time.
But who was this person he loved to make love with? He knew it was someone really significant. He scrunched up his face in concentration. The face of Cheerio popped into his head. Chérie…his heart began to pound with love. And then…there she was.
“Hi, Cam…” She walked up to him with a saucy little bounce.
“Hey, babe…come here, and let me hold you.” A huge grin spread across his face. There wasn’t a thing about her that he didn’t adore. Well, except for Fabio, but he was learning how to deal. “God, I’ve missed you.” He pulled her close, savoring the scent and sensation of being close to her. His arousal was immediate. “I want to make love with you, babe. I want to be inside of you.”
He was suddenly naked, lying on the bed next to her bare body. Without foreplay or preamble, he slid inside of her, feeling her pull him up into her honeyed core. She immediately began to glow.
“Want to see what the universe looks like?” she teased.
Cam was filled with driving hunger and lust again, only this time there was that added bonus of caring that made his body sizzle. “Oh, yeah, babe. I want to see it with you.” He stroked her with need and passion, his heart ablaze with love. Yeah, this was way better than sex with Ang. “Come on, babe. Let’s go. Show me the universe.” His hips kept their rhythm, in and out and in and out, like he was still marking the cadence of a drum beat. Chérie was a wet, fiery channel, encircling his shaft with her entire being. Being inside of her, he knew he was adored…adored and accepted for who he was. “Take me in, babe; take me all the way up inside of you.” This level of acceptance, of loving and being loved was incredible. He wanted her to consume him, to reveal all the mysteries of the universe to him. In return, he wanted to give himself to her again and again and again. Oh, yeah, this was fucking hot. This was what healed him, being with the ka. This is what he lived for, what drove him to become a better man. Stroke, stroke, stroke…he looked into her glistening amber eyes, imagining that he was looking into the sun. Better not burn my retinas, he thought in a peculiar detached way. Keep the eyes safe. He averted his eyes. Stroke, stroke, stroke…he smoothed her silky red hair with his hand. Push, push, push…he started to suck on her lower lip when Chérie started to dissolve. “Stay with me, babe.” He focused hard, trying to will her to come back to him. Push, push, push…yeah, she was still there. Again, he leaned in for the kiss. Again, she began to dissolve. “Come on, babe, stay with me. Let’s do this. Let’s finish this off. Let’s ride this wave together.”
“I thought you wanted to see the universe. I’m going to take you there.”
Cam’s face contorted in fear when Chérie started to become not Chérie. She was wind, she was earth, and she was fire. She was billowing waves, pounding the shore; she was hurricanes, she was lightning. She became tornadoes and suffering, pleasure and pain, earthquakes, destruction, and discovery of new life. Now she was a horde of insects consuming a corn field, their rigid bodies like baked plastic; now she was the corn kernels, popping, snapping, and squirting sweet juices as they disappeared inside the insects’ ravenous mouths. She morphed into a herd of antelopes, being chased by a predator and out of their minds with fear; and then became a cheetah taking down one of the herd with a leap and a lunge, its pointed teeth closing over the soft neck until Cam could feel the skin give way to muscle, connective tissue and bone, lifeblood spurting into the cheetah’s mouth and fueling its hunger. Now she was a baby being born, covered with blood and creamy white vernix; now she was the process of war, with broken bodies all around. She was the sea, she was the sky. She was stillness, she was madness. She was serenity, she was insanity.
The images were flipping so fast in front of Cam’s face that he became dizzy and confused. His mind was beginning to fracture; fissures were forming at the edges of his skull making cohesive thought impossible. Nothing was making sense. He squeezed his eyes shut, but the images reeled inside of his mind, faster and faster and faster. Still, he continued to stroke and push, that rhythmical drum-beat of movement pushing into…into what, exactly? Now Chérie became shooting stars, exploding gasses and comets hurtling through light years of time and space. She became planets forming and disappearing. She became galaxies exploding into existence and folding in on themselves. Cam struggled to stay with it, struggled to comprehend, but the only thing he could cling to, the only shred of sanity he could find that made sense was the chaos and drama he’d grown up with. That was something that he knew and could count on as a constant. Chaos and drama…wasn’t that one of the things about Chérie that appealed to him? The constant change, the never knowing what was going to happen next? Couldn’t he just embrace this state of relentless transformation and quit trying to shove it into categories that made sense?
His mind started to spin out as the speed of the images flashing by increased even more. Still, he was pushing and pulling, pushing and pulling, inside and out, inside and out. Fuck, yeah, this was hot. This was beyond hot. The physicality of the moment coupled with the speeding movie clips inside his head made him start to feel completely insane. His mind was beginning to warp and blur, and he wasn’t sure if he was going to make it. His sense of ‘who he was’ seemed fragmented beyond repair; split cells and broken images and anarchy swirling all around. Might just blow to bits here, but what the fuck? He threw back his head and erupted in a wild laugh that was tinged with madness. Didn’t Mano say this was the Path of Revelation and What the Fuck? Jesus, what a ride!
His heart began to race like he was on speed, and he was sure it was going to shatter any minute now. A roaring sound filled his ears and he thought he was going to implode. He began to pant like a dog circling a burning building, and his eyes rolled back inside the sockets of his skull. But still he pushed and stroked and pushed in a maddening, insistent rhythm. Words and sentences streamed from his head, but he didn’t know who was making them. Fuck yeah…let’s go…let’s do this…come on, b
abe, show me Heaven and beyond.
Then he experienced a huge collision of cosmic shapes and forms ending with a climactic convulsing discharge of life energy inside of Chérie…or at least he thought he did. In truth, he must’ve blacked out because his mind just vanished…gone. Dream over…he was dead now…somewhere, lying in a puddle of black nothingness.
He floated in this still place of non-existence for a long time…or at least that is how it seemed. But when he opened his eyes, he was still in the dreamscape, naked, on the bed, lying in a pool of his own semen with no one around. No Chérie anywhere. He had lost her, for good this time. He hadn’t been able to comprehend her as she truly was. His heart was filled with sorrow and reproach, imagining that he was the same dumb fuck asshole he had been as a teenager. There was no ‘man of integrity’ here…just a man with a weird, warped mind, now bent completely out of shape.
He started to sink into self-pity, chiding himself for his inability to take in her true form. And that’s when he heard a growl from just beyond the wall. Here we go. The star dreamling had found him. He hadn’t even gotten this part right. He was supposed to stalk the dreamling, not the other way around. With a sigh, he got up off the bed, wiped himself off with the edge of the bedspread, and prepared to meet this being that wanted him dead. Or at least that was all he could come up with as a reason for having been hunted for the last few weeks. A wave of fatigue rolled over him as he stepped towards the doorway. May as well roll with this too, he thought in weary surrender. Let’s just get this over with. His hand reached the cool metal doorknob, and a blast of cold wind blew in the opening as he stepped out into the wintery, frigid air.
Chapter 44 – Chérie