The Case of the Missing Drag Queen

Home > Other > The Case of the Missing Drag Queen > Page 19
The Case of the Missing Drag Queen Page 19

by Michael Rupured


  “Yes,” Ruby said, nodding. “But you’ve got something he’s never had and always wanted.”

  “Hmm.” Pixie raised a finger to her lips and studied the ceiling. “He’s hung like a horse, so it ain’t a big dick.”

  Michael coughed several times. “Almost made me choke on my cookie.” He reached for another. “Unless somebody wants it, that last Ritz cookie is mine. I could eat my weight in those things.”

  “You have your father’s unconditional love,” Ruby said. “Charlie’s parents gave him everything he ever asked for, but never the love he craved.”

  “You’re too kind,” Vince said, shaking his head.

  “I agree,” Luke said. “He doesn’t deserve it.”

  “Maybe not.” Ruby shrugged. “He had no plan. As he’s done many times in the past, he acted without thinking through what he was doing. Once he had me, he couldn’t let me go, and he didn’t have the guts to kill me. Luke and Pixie’s surprise visit forced his hand. As soon as you left, he tied me up, gagged me, and dumped me in the closet.”

  “I wanted to run up them steps, but I knew he’d never let me get to the second floor.”

  “I heard you,” Ruby said. “But thought I was dreaming.”

  “If Frank hadn’t called me to fill in for Charlie,” Luke said, “no telling where he would have taken you.”

  “And Luke would be right there with ya if me and Rusty hadn’t come along when we did,” Pixie said. “If I got Luke’s message fifteen minutes later, we may have been too late.”

  Ruby turned her gaze on Luke. “How did you know?”

  “Tippy,” Luke replied. “He said you disappeared after he’d fired Charlie—cut him off and stopped paying his rent.”

  Ruby furrowed her brow. “When did Tippy fire Charlie?”

  “End of September,” Luke said. “When did you break things off with Tippy?”

  “Wednesday—the day before Charlie took me to his place.” Ruby frowned. “Wonder how he knew about me and Tippy. We never went anywhere but his place.”

  “How’d you get out there?” Michael asked.

  “Tippy picked me up or sent a car for me.”

  “Crazy sombitch must’ve staked out Tippy’s place,” Pixie said.

  “Tell us, Tanner,” Vince said. “What happened when you got there?”

  “I wasn’t going to stop,” Luke said. “I just wanted to see if his car was there.” Luke told them about seeing the rental truck, finding Charlie’s lights on, and the care package he’d picked up at SuperAmerica. “He was suspicious—didn’t believe I’d only come to check on his welfare.” Luke smiled. “So I came on to him, kneed him in the groin, and dashed up the stairs to find Ruby.”

  “I didn’t know who you were,” Ruby said. “But I’ve never been so happy to see anyone in my life. Then I saw Charlie behind you.”

  Luke smiled and shook his head. “I thought you were afraid of me,” he said, before telling them what happened.

  “Me and Rusty heard Luke yell for help,” Pixie said. She blew on her fist and polished her knuckles on her chest. “Opened a can of fairy dust on his hairy ass.”

  “That’s quite a story, Tanner,” Vince said. “I’m proud of you, son.”

  “Me too,” Millie said. “You’ve grown up quite a lot in the past two weeks.”

  A lump formed in Luke’s throat. “Thank you.” His voice cracked. “I couldn’t have done it without Pixie dragging me kicking and screaming all the way.”

  “Ain’t true,” Pixie said. “Yeah, I dragged you into it. But then you latched on like a snappin’ turtle and didn’t let go.”

  Michael thumped Luke on the back. “You’re one in a million, Luke.”

  Luke didn’t know what to say. Kissing Michael, no matter how badly he wanted to, was inappropriate. Instead he smiled and nodded like a goofy bobblehead.

  Chapter 36

  Wednesday, November 3, 1982

  LUKE PUSHED the covers back and groaned as he reached for the phone. All he wanted to do was sleep. “Hello?”

  “Is this Luke Tanner?”

  “Yes, Aunt Callie. It’s me.”

  “I’m calling from the Lexington Herald-Leader to set up an interview with you for a feature story about your heroic rescue of a kidnapped Gilded Lily performer.”

  Luke sat up and rubbed his eyes with his fist. “What?”

  “Frank Marvin called my office yesterday. I guess you know we went to school together.”

  “Yes,” Luke said, nodding. “He told me.”

  “I’m glad he called. We’re having lunch next week to catch up. Anyway, my editor gave me the go-ahead for the story this morning.”

  “Wow.” Luke gulped. “That’s great.”

  “That three-thousand-dollar reward should come in handy.”

  “Oh,” Luke said. He’d forgotten all about the reward. “Pixie gets half.”

  “Yes, dear, that’s what Frank said. Three thousand is your half.”

  “What?” Luke gaped.

  “This Ruby Dubonnet apparently has a devoted and generous following.”

  “Yes.” Luke smiled. “She’s a lovely person and puts on quite a show.”

  “I’m very proud of you, Luke.”

  A lump formed in his throat. “Thank you.”

  “Can you and Pixie do the interview tomorrow at 10:00 a.m.?”

  “You’re serious?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Sure,” Luke replied. “Ten works for me. I’ll have to check with Pixie, but I’m pretty sure she can make it. Where?”

  “Why, your apartment, of course.”

  “Uhm. Okay.” He grimaced and glanced around. Tidying up for Aunt Callie wouldn’t take more than a few hours.

  “Good, because that’s the only time the photographer is available. If Pixie can’t make it, let me know.”

  “Photographer?”

  “Of course, dear. Hard to do a feature story without pictures. I’ve got to run—see you tomorrow.”

  The line went dead.

  “Crap!”

  Luke leaped out of bed, started a pot of coffee, and jumped into the shower. Perhaps they could do the interview in the bathroom. Thanks to Pixie, it was the most put-together room in his apartment.

  He closed his eyes and slowly turned around, savoring the heat on his bruised muscles. The reward would enable him to catch up and then some. He’d pay all his bills, save half of what was left for a rainy day, and pay down debt with the remainder.

  The telephone rang again. He let out an exasperated sigh as he turned off the faucet, wrapped the towel around his waist, and trailed water all the way to the kitchen phone.

  “Good afternoon, darlin’,” Pixie said. “You sound a little bitchy. Somebody poop on your Pop-Tart?”

  “Gross!” Luke grimaced. “You caught me in the shower. I was going to call you when I got out.” He told her about the interview and photo shoot.

  “Ten works for me,” Pixie said. “Is pickin’ me up a problem?”

  Luke glanced at the clock. “Picking you up is not a problem. Having fewer than twenty hours to make this place presentable, on the other hand, is a huge problem.”

  “Ain’t nothin’ to worry about, sugar. Doin’ anythin’ else today?”

  Luke shook his head. “Nope.”

  “Good. I need to make some calls, and I’ll be right over.”

  He stepped into his favorite jeans, pulled a T-shirt over his wet hair, and dropped onto the sofa with a legal pad and a pen. An idea for a story had popped into his head at Millie’s the night before. Overnight the seed had taken root and grown.

  Commotion in the shared hall interrupted his thoughts and preceded loud knocking on Luke’s door. He dropped the pad and pen on the coffee table and stood back as Pixie filed in with Simone and Kitty Galore. A moment later, Russel Clark came in with Ruby.

  “Come with me, baby doll.” Kitty grabbed Luke’s hand. “While they spruce this place up, you’re getting a makeover.”
<
br />   “Door’s unlocked,” Ruby said. “Help yourself to whatever you need.”

  Luke followed Kitty to Ruby’s bedroom. She moved the vanity stool into the hallway, dropped a zippered bag she carried onto the floor, and pointed. “Have a seat.”

  She moved around Luke, studying him from every angle.

  “Hmm.” She combed through his damp hair with her fingers. “Not much to work with.”

  Luke’s face grew hot. His hair was his best feature.

  She stood back with an arm folded across her chest, placed her hand on her chin and squinted at him for a moment before throwing up her hands. “Anything will be an improvement.”

  “Gee. Thanks, Kitty.”

  “Nothing personal, baby doll.” She unzipped her bag and pulled out a black barber’s cape that she unfurled with a snap and fastened around his neck. “We’d have more options if your hair were longer and maybe you hadn’t shaved for a week or two.”

  “That makes me feel better.”

  “You’ll feel like a new man when I’m done with you.” She dug around in her bag for a moment and pulled out a comb and a pair of scissors.

  “Thanks, Kitty. I really appreciate everyone going to all this trouble for me.”

  “It’s no trouble. We’re sucking up for some of that reward money.” She smiled. “I’m kidding. We’re so glad Ruby is okay and grateful you found her before Charlie killed her. If you hadn’t shown up when you did….”

  A chill ran down Luke’s spine. “I thought about waiting until Russel could come with me.”

  “Nobody would have blamed you if you had,” Kitty said. “Confronting that crazy bastard by yourself took courage.”

  “I was terrified,” Luke said.

  Kitty shrugged. “Wouldn’t be courageous if you weren’t afraid.”

  “If Pixie and Rusty hadn’t come along….”

  “But they did.” She stood behind him, combing and snipping. “Charlie is in jail, Ruby’s safe and sound, and you’re a hero.”

  “I’m no hero.” Locks of his hair slid down the black cape and onto the floor. “Soldiers, firemen, and police are heroes. Pixie made me look for her. I didn’t want anything to do with it, but the harder I tried to walk away, the deeper I got sucked in.”

  “Bewitched by the Trailer Park Fairy?” She placed a finger at the bottom of each sideburn, tilted her head to one side a moment, then gave a satisfied nod. “Don’t kid yourself, baby doll. Dropping in on Charlie was your idea. Fairy dust had nothing to do with it.”

  Luke smiled. “Should have seen her whaling on Charlie.”

  “Poor thing. Her knuckles are so bruised she can hardly move her hands.” She ruffled his hair with her fingers then raised his eyebrow with a comb. “Close your eyes.”

  Chapter 37

  “OKAY,” PIXIE said, still holding Luke’s hand. “Open your eyes.”

  Luke complied with her order and gasped. “Wow! I can’t believe it.” He slowly turned his head to take it all in before reaching over and stroking the arm of the easy chair. “Is that leather?”

  “Close enough,” Simone replied, smiling. She checked her watch and then turned to Kitty. “You ready, Miss Galore? I got shit to do.”

  “Me too.” Kitty retrieved her bag and joined Simone at the door.

  “I can’t thank you enough,” Luke said. He gave Kitty a big hug. “You were right. I’m glad you talked me into the perm. I love it.”

  “You’re welcome, baby doll.” She fluffed his hair with her fingers. “Longer you can go without washing it, the better.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Luke said. He wrapped an arm around Simone’s shoulder and squeezed. “Thanks for helping out.”

  “Ain’t no big thing,” Simone said, hugging him back. “You family now, girlfriend.”

  “Family?”

  “That’s right, baby doll.” Kitty kissed his cheek. “The Gilded Lily family.”

  Luke smiled. “I’ve always wanted a sister.”

  “Now you got a mess of ’em.” Simone opened the door. “Come on, Miss Thing.”

  “I’m coming,” Kitty said. She waved at everyone. “See you Thursday night.”

  Luke closed the door behind them and turned back to Ruby, Pixie, and Russel who looked at him expectantly from the far end of the living room. He headed toward them but stopped to admire the sofa.

  “Is this the same sofa and easy chair?”

  Ruby held up a staple gun and a pair of scissors. “We recovered them.”

  “Amazing.” Luke looked around the room again and shook his head. “Not what I was expecting at all. Doesn’t look like the same place.”

  “Mission accomplished!” Pixie smiled. “And there ain’t no lace, flimsy fabrics, or girly colors.”

  “Do you like it?” Ruby gave him an expectant look.

  “No.” Luke shook his head. He paused a moment then grinned. “I love it!”

  Pixie slapped Ruby’s shoulder. “Told you he would.”

  “Yes, you did.” Ruby turned to Luke and gestured toward the eat-in kitchen. “Shall we?”

  His rickety card table and folding chairs had been replaced by a narrow table with the long side pushed up against the wall and surrounded on three sides by matching captain’s chairs.

  “The smaller table is perfect for just me,” Luke said. He stood back and nodded. “And it gives me so much more room.”

  “Yes, sir,” Pixie said. She pulled the middle chair back, reached under the plaid tablecloth, and lifted the leaf into place. “Big enough for four if you need it. The other chair is in your bedroom.”

  “Far out!” Luke lowered and raised the leaf several times.

  “In a pinch,” Ruby said. “You could pull the table out from the wall and drag out one of those dreadful folding chairs from your closet, but the leaf is missing from the other side.”

  “Solid oak,” Pixie said. “Picked up the chairs for three dollars apiece when whatchamacallit’s restaurant up on Winchester Road went out of business, and got the table at a yard sale for ten dollars.”

  “That’s a bargain,” Luke said. “Wonder what happened to the leaf?”

  “Sexcapade.” Pixie grinned. “The man I bought it from turned red as a stop sign when I asked, and then his wife giggled like a little girl when he said a freak accident.”

  Luke wrinkled his nose. “You didn’t have to tell me that.”

  Pixie shrugged. “You asked.”

  “Everything looks so nice,” Luke said. He glanced at his watch and shook his head. “I can’t believe you did all this in four hours.”

  “Let me see,” Pixie said. “Three drag queens for four hours—that’s twelve drag hours, and a determined queen can get twice as much done in an hour as anybody else.”

  “Hello!” Russel waved his hand. “I know y’all don’t see color, but I’m still here, and I didn’t just stand around picking my nose.”

  “Of course not!” Ruby smiled.

  “Yeah,” Pixie said. “Sometimes you was scratching your ass or playing pocket pool.”

  Russel folded his arms across his chest, muttered something under his breath, and scowled.

  “Nonsense,” Ruby said. She gave Pixie a stern look and placed her hand on Russel’s shoulder. “Show Luke what you’ve done with his bedroom.”

  “All right.” Russel’s face lit up and he gestured to Luke. “Come on.”

  Luke followed Russel through the kitchen and down the hall. His oversized frame filled the narrow space, and until he stepped aside, prevented Luke from seeing past him.

  “Oh, my God!” Luke covered his mouth with his hand and looked around.

  Two tall bookcases with a navy curtain between them divided the space. On the near side, his typewriter sat atop a small desk beneath the window. Encyclopedias, an enormous dog-eared dictionary, an atlas, a dozen or so Reader’s Digest Condensed Books, and at least a decade of National Geographic magazines were artfully arranged on the shelves with several framed pictures and a globe.
>
  “Creating a writing space for you here was Russel’s idea,” Ruby said.

  Russel studied Luke’s face. “I can move it to the—”

  “No!” Luke shook his head. “This is fantabulous!”

  Russel beamed. “Go on around the bookcase and check out the other side.”

  Luke took a few steps and then gasped. “A new bed?”

  “No,” Ruby said, smiling. “Russel’s idea, and the only way to make room for the office.”

  “It looks like an oversized couch,” Luke said. The long side of the bed was pushed up against the wall between two bedside tables topped with brass lamps. Curved wooden arms on either end of the bed were linked by a “headboard” covered with fabric that matched the patterned bedspread that had been tucked beneath the box springs to create the illusion of a seat cushion.

  “Pixie had the matching footboards,” Russel said. “I tacked fiber board onto the backside, and then Ruby covered it.”

  “Looks great,” Pixie said. “But makin’ that bed every mornin’s gonna be a bitch.”

  “You guys….” A lump formed in Luke’s throat and he shook his head. “This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. I don’t know what to say.”

  “Try thanks,” Pixie said. She wrapped her arm around his waist and squeezed.

  “Thanks is so… inadequate.” He squeezed Pixie’s shoulder.

  Ruby looked him in the eye. “I know exactly how you feel. There are no words to express how grateful I am to you for saving my life.”

  “Y’all gonna make me cry,” Russel said.

  Pixie sniffed and dabbed her eyes with the sleeve of her blouse.

  “I’m not a religious person,” Ruby said, taking Luke’s hands in hers.

  “Like you had a choice,” Pixie said, shaking her head. “Ain’t no room in church for a man in a dress.”

  “That gives you the freedom to do your own thing,” Ruby said. She turned back to Luke and squeezed his hands. “Fate has bound our lives together. Come what may, dear friend, you’ll always be the man who saved my life. I can never say thank you enough.”

 

‹ Prev