It had been most conducive to have Amita stay with them till she finished studying for her medical degree. There had been a huge hue and cry from her family and everyone around her: no one believed that the husband and wife would live apart, until it happened. But Amita was by now too used to the gossip to care, and, in fact, found a friend in distance, as things started to become easier between her and Govind and they began spending the weekends together again.
On this particular day, they were stretched out on reclining chairs in the garden—Indu, Amita and their mother—eyes shut while the warmth of the sun lulled them to sleep. The trees around their garden managed to partially shut out the noises from the street, and sometimes, they could even hear the birds. When Indu opened her eyes, she didn’t know how many minutes had passed, but her mother was gone while her sister was scratching away with a pen on a notebook.
‘What’s going on?’ Indu said, covering her mouth as she yawned.
‘I’m trying to study,’ Amita said.
‘Keep it up. May you study all your life.’
Amita nodded, staring at her notebook, and then looked up at Indu.
‘It was pretty intense yesterday, hun? When Runjhun brought in that boy?’
Indu shook her head—the memory of it still made her angry. Runjhun had befriended the little Sardar and welcomed him into the library. Indu had had to remind her that it was a library for girls. ‘He’s just a little boy,’ she had protested. Indu went up to Rana and told him to control his girlfriend.
‘What do you mean?’ he had asked her.
When Indu explained to Rana what Runjhun wanted, to her annoyance, he agreed with Runjhun. Neither Rana nor Indu had spoken to each other the rest of the day.
Indu admitted to Amita that she might have overreacted, but that she couldn’t help it, that Runjhun made her blood boil.
‘We used to have a nice time,’ Indu said, ‘before she came.’
Amita stared at her closely for a few seconds. ‘What about Rajat?’
Indu held her head in her hands, shaking it. ‘What about him? I’m still going to marry him. I don’t know what else to do.’
Amita said, ‘Not the right way to approach a lifelong commitment, you know. Not quite as enthusiastic as one would expect.’
Indu sighed. ‘I don’t know. I don’t love him. I don’t even know him well. I’ve never loved him.’
‘And you love Rana?’ Amita asked, surprised.
‘Of course I don’t love him!’ Indu reacted. ‘How can you love someone who—who—never mind. And if I don’t marry Rajat, what will I do?’
Amita put her books down on the grass and leant back in the chair, shutting her eyes. ‘How can I say? I just know that I’m glad I’m not you. Somehow, it’s harder having a choice than not having one.’
* * *
‘Hand me those one by one,’ Indu told Esha in a voice that was sterner than necessary. Esha nodded meekly behind her braids, which she had made hurriedly, realizing that Indu didi was in a bad mood. If she had seen Esha with her hair all over her face, she would have been furious. Indu had decided to rearrange some of the books. Rana and Runjhun stood outside in the balcony, talking about something, and Indu had half a mind to tell him off for wasting his time, but she suppressed that instinct and decided to ignore them.
‘Next,’ she told Esha as the young girl handed her another book. Indu noted the name, author, publisher, number of pages and the ISBN. It was the translation of Pinjar by Amrita Pritam. Indu made a mental note to read that one, taking the next one from Esha. She sensed Rosie walk up to them and didn’t look up until she had absolutely had to.
‘Yes, Rosie,’ Indu said tiredly.
‘Indu di,’ Rosie began, her great chest heaving, and Indu had a hard time looking at her face, for Rosie was just nineteen but had the breasts of a forty-year-old, ‘I have a problem, Indu di.’
Indu went back to the books, and indicated that Esha should continue handing them to her. She knew it would be a long discussion.
‘Di, I’ve really started to doubt if my life is going in the right direction,’ she told Indu. ‘In another year, my parents will start looking for a boy for me. I told my parents I would finish my teaching diploma, but I know they will tell me to get a government job. It’s safe and secure and what not, but if the job transfers me to some godforsaken village, or somewhere in the south, I swear upon my chicken tangri, I will raise the kind of hell the world has never seen!’
Indu nodded sympathetically and advised Rosie that she should calm down and wait till something actually happened before worrying about it.
Indu was interrupted when Rana called her from across the room. And although she wanted to appear cool and distant to him, she responded.
‘Yes?’ she asked, walking over to him, her arms folded across her chest.
He raised his eyebrows at her tone, and then crossed his own arms with a sigh.
‘What is it?’
‘What?’ she asked him, feigning innocence.
‘Don’t play your games now.’
‘Games?! What games have I played with you?’
He gave a long and, Indu thought, rather dramatic sigh, and then shook his head.
‘Whatever. I wanted to talk to you about something important.’
‘What?’
‘Well, I’ve been thinking for some time, and I think we should do something about Esha.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Tutor her. You see, her skill—with a little bit of tutoring, we can get her to pass her grade exams, and then she could really study further, make a life of her own.’
Indu stared at him. ‘But how—how do we . . .’
‘I was talking about it with Runjhun and she reckons that Sangeeta might do it, she’s also doing a diploma in teaching. It’ll be good practice for her as well.’
Indu clutched her arms tighter at the mention of Runjhun’s name, and raised her head. So he had spoken about it to Runjhun before he spoke to her. She felt the bitter tang of betrayal.
‘So . . . what do you want me to do?’
He looked up sharply at her curt question, and then pursed his lips.
‘Get it arranged.’
She looked at him for a long time, and then at Esha, who sat arranging the books, while Runjhun stood a little way behind him, still giving her cold looks, pretending she was not trying to overhear.
‘I’ll think about it,’ Indu said, and Rana stared at her as if he couldn’t believe what she had just said.
For the rest of the day, Indu went about her work with a formal, curt manner, but finally collapsed on a chair, her head in her hands, when Rana left in the evening without saying anything to her. Eventually, Amita nudged her to get up. She spent the night miserable.
When morning came, she spoke to her mother about Esha being tutored.
‘But who will do the work in the library?’ her mother asked.
‘I’m sure it won’t take her all day. I mean, she could maybe help out for two hours and study for the rest of the day.’
Her mother again didn’t say anything for a while and then finally asked, ‘And how does Esha feel about it?’
‘We haven’t yet spoken to her about it.’
‘How do you know she would agree to this?’ her mother asked, shaking her head.
‘Of course she would,’ Indu waved her hand. ‘Who would mind some free tutoring?’
Her mother shrugged. ‘But why would you decide something for her when you don’t like things being decided for you?’
Indu ignored her mother, sure that she was posing unnecessary complications in a matter so obvious, and decided to speak to Sangeeta herself, for no matter what her problems with Rana, the suggestion held merit, and why deprive poor Esha?
She expected another cold day with Rana at the library but he greeted her cheerfully the next morning, as if nothing had happened. When she walked away without making an attempt to talk, he reached out and lightly held her arm.
‘Hey,’ he said softly, and she turned around, disengaging her arm, and stared at him and the audacity in his grin.
He held out his palm, and on top lay a couple of jasmines, slightly crushed by his touch, but otherwise fresh. She gave him a long look before accepting the flowers and kept them in her hands, which didn’t seem enough for him. He kept looking at her till she put them in her braid and then folded her arms. ‘Happy?’
He nodded happily and spoke up before she could turn around again. ‘What are you doing today?’
‘Guess,’ she said, and he laughed, acknowledging the stupidity of his own question.
‘I wanted to take you somewhere,’ he said.
‘Where?’
‘Have you watched it yet? Kati Patang? It’s back up at Regal and I thought I would watch it.’
‘I’ve already seen it,’ she said.
‘Yes, but this one you have to watch with me again. I told you I wanted to see a Rajesh Khanna movie with you. And you promised me a movie.’
Runjhun hadn’t come in yet and probably wasn’t planning to. Maybe that’s why he asked her. She found him staring at her determinedly.
‘Fine,’ she told him briskly and walked away.
The afternoon rolled around. ‘Come on, let’s go,’ he said to Indu, standing at the door as she quickly asked her sister to take over for some time, and told her she was going to watch Kati Patang with Rana.
She wrapped her coat around herself, buttoning it up slowly while Rana stared at her, impatient.
‘What are you wearing this stupid coat for? It’s sunny right now, it’ll be cold later in the evening!’
She narrowed her eyes at him and buttoned it up even more slowly, making him grit his teeth.
Indu was sure they wouldn’t get tickets, but Rana had gone out earlier and bought them before even asking her. ‘And what if I hadn’t said yes?’ she asked him. ‘I guess I’d have had to take Mrs Leela,’ he replied with a grin.
Indu started out a little stiff, but they soon broke into their usual banter after she had elaborated on the many merits and qualities of Rajesh Khanna.
‘Show me your wrist,’ Rana asked her.
Indu clutched the sleeves of her coat tightly. ‘What? Why?’
‘I knew it was you.’
‘Who was me?’
‘I read in the paper yesterday that some woman sent Rajesh Khanna a letter written in blood.’
She laughed despite herself, but tried not to speak to him the rest of the way. She forgot all about their conversation when they reached the theatre and saw the posters. Arriving just in time, they quickly took their seats. Thankfully, it was a new movie for Rana so he couldn’t recite the dialogue from memory, but Indu watched him as he reacted to the scenes, completely engrossed, turning to Indu to comment on something or the other. He laughed when he saw her eyes following Rajesh Khanna on the screen, and they both hummed along to the songs.
‘Why doesn’t Madhuri finally jump off the cliff, then?’ Rana asked Indu as the credits rolled down.
‘Because he sang her a song.’
‘So you wouldn’t jump off the cliff if I sang a song for you?’
‘If you sang me a song, I’d rather jump,’ Indu said, and Rana laughed all the way as they walked out of the theatre. She knew, she saw it in his eyes. She saw something that she was sure she wasn’t wrong about. She wanted to hold his arm and stop him for a moment. She wanted to ask him what he felt for Runjhun, why he did not insist on her affection, why he gave up so easily. But she didn’t say anything and just watched as he sat outside the theatre on the boundary wall. Indu sat beside him and they watched the people go by, smiling at each other. Some people looked towards them curiously, and some simply smiled.
‘All these women get to spend stormy nights with Rajesh Khanna and then he sings poems to them,’ Indu said to Rana. ‘I don’t know why I can’t have that luck.’
Rana looked at her indignantly. ‘Are you joking? You’ve got all these chances with me and you complain about your luck?’
She looked at him with her eyebrows raised high.
‘What? I’m as close to Rajesh Khanna as you’ll ever get—in looks and in poetry,’ he said. Indu chuckled and got up.
‘I didn’t think Asha Parekh suited the role, though,’ she said to him as he followed her. ‘I think Waheeda Rehman would have been much better.’
‘No way. She was so beautiful. You just want Rajesh Khanna for yourself, that’s why you didn’t like her.’
Indu called out to the chaiwallah who had set up his stall right at the crossing. ‘Kyun bhai, have you watched Kati Patang?’
Thrilled to be asked for his opinion, he spluttered an excited yes as Rana approached them.
‘And don’t you think Waheeda Rehman would have been better for the role than Asha Parekh?’ she asked him meaningfully as Rana stared at them, sceptical.
‘She would have, madameji,’ the chaiwallah said. ‘In fact, I say you would have been better. You are like Waheeda Rehman, but even better.’
Indu looked at Rana triumphantly as he spluttered exaggeratedly.
‘Ha! Who looks like the star now, hun?’ she asked, sitting down near the tea stall and ordering two teas for them.
‘Very creative strategy to sell your tea,’ Rana told the chaiwallah.
To the chaiwallah, Indu said, ‘Actually, many other people have also told me I look like Waheeda Rehman.’
Rana shook his head in disbelief as he sat down next to her, folding his hands in prayer and looking up at the sky.
‘And to think it could have been me that Rajesh Khanna saved from that rogue taxi driver, and who was offered a place in his house. Yet, here I am with this one, having chai on a street corner.’
The chaiwallah laughed and Rana pulled a pained expression.
‘I can’t imagine anyone brave enough to want to kidnap you,’ Rana said. ‘One look at you and they’d know you’re trouble.’
They walked back to the library laughing and chatting. Indu told him she would talk to Esha’s mother about her being tutored, and how she could manage it. Rana nodded and smiled.
‘However,’ she said, ‘we should conclude the day by agreeing that yes, I do look like Waheeda Rehman.’
Rana let her pass through the door first. Then he leant toward her, his eyes deep and earnest, looking at her solemnly.
‘You look like Waheeda Rehman,’ he said, but added before walking off, ‘if the lights are off.’
* * *
Sunita did not understand why her daughter had to be tutored. ‘She is already good,’ she had said, confused. Indu explained to Sunita that tutoring Esha would mean getting her ready for grade exams, so that she could finish school. Sangeeta would tutor her not only in maths, but also in other subjects in which Esha was far behind. And once she passed her grade exams, she could be made to do a specialized course in maths. Sunita was aghast at these plans and refused right away, saying that her husband would never allow Esha to sit for exams.
After the first rebuff, Indu and Rana spoke to Esha. Surprisingly, she said no to studying as well, saying that she did not want to get into all that, and that she did not want to study other subjects anyway. Crushed, Rana looked at Indu.
Later, she assured him that this wasn’t it, that she would talk to Esha’s mother again. But Sunita refused to relent until Indu finally went up to her own mother and asked for her help, and she decided to sit them all down together to discuss it.
Esha sat quietly in a corner while Sunita insisted there was absolutely no point in tutoring Esha, and it was about time she be married. Indu looked towards her mother, who patiently listened to it all, and then proceeded to explain in a firm manner that educating Esha would not only be important but highly beneficial, and that one day she could get a job and even earn money for herself, in case her husband wasn’t able to. ‘But she already has a job,’ Sunita said. ‘She works for Indu, and when Indu gets married, she can work at her new hous
e as well, I don’t mind.’
Indu looked at her mother in distress, and her mother continued explaining to Sunita why an education was important. By the end, Sunita agreed halfheartedly, but insisted that her husband could not know about this. ‘He won’t approve,’ she said quietly, ‘but maybe you are right, madame.’ Indu told Sunita not to blame Esha for any of this, and that, in fact, Esha didn’t want to study. She knew Sunita would take it better if she knew that this was being forced upon Esha.
‘But this wasn’t agreed on,’ Indu told her mother later, as they prepared to sleep. ‘You said Esha’s agreement must be taken into account. This wasn’t an agreement. You made Sunita say yes. It was a settlement.’
Her mother pretended that she could not understand what Indu was saying, and then shrugged and walked away.
Sangeeta seemed a lot more amenable to the plan and said that she would be happy to teach Esha—on the days that she herself came in, of course. ‘But when will she do it?’ Sangeeta asked them, ‘if she’s working?’
Rana had already suggested they do Esha’s work in the time that Esha studied. Esha herself had been quiet throughout. Indu wished it were different, but knew it would benefit her in the long run. They couldn’t ignore her aptitude for studies.
‘What are you working on these days, by the way?’ Indu asked Rana.
‘Same old,’ he said. ‘Copy-checking some articles for the magazine, getting my own ready.’
‘Do they criticize the government?’
‘It’s not fun if they don’t.’
Runjhun had seemed smug about the whole Esha situation throughout, and Indu wondered whether it was her, not Rana’s, idea in the first place. But it didn’t really matter since it was because of the library that such an opportunity could be created in the first place.
They had also begun planning for the Partition-themed discussion Runjhun had proposed. They had called it ‘Invitation to Dialogue: Discussions on Partition’. A problem arose when Indu saw the addresses the invitation letters were being sent to, and she questioned Runjhun about it.
‘Why are you sending invitations to all these colleges?’ she asked her.
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