“You can leave it off,” Tammy joked, catching a glimpse of Chris’s lower abs before he got the shirt on.
Chris couldn’t lie. Tammy looked good from head to toe, and it didn’t seem like she had aged a day since he’d been gone. She really took good care of herself, and for a split second, the urge to get a hug, or maybe even steal a kiss crossed his mind. It had been some time since he had enjoyed the touch of a woman, and if he remembered correctly, that last touch had come from Tammy. Temptation was a mutha, especially feeling that at any given time, Tammy would give him some pussy.
“What’s good with you, Tammy?” Chris greeted, walking right past her, and taking a seat on the couch.
“You must really hate me,” she said, taking a seat right next to him on the couch.
“Nah, what makes you think that?”
“’Cause, I can see it in your eyes. I haven’t seen you in years, and it seems like you can’t stand the sight of me. Shit, you didn’t even give me a hug.”
“Tammy, you telling me that you came all the way down here for a hug?” Chris said and laughed.
“Yeah,” she joked, but was serious at the same time.
Chris shook his head. “Yeah, you still crazy, I’ll give you that. So, wassup? Are the kids OK?”
“Yeah, the kids is cool. I just came down here because I needed to talk to you about something, and I’m sure you may have some stuff you wanna get off your chest as well,” she said.
Chris did have a lot on his mind, and a lot of questions he needed answers to, but now wasn’t the time, nor the place for that. He’d spent the last four years of his life living in hell, and the things that transpired between them was enough to send any sane man to the nuthouse. All Chris wanted to do right now was enjoy the fact that he was home.
“I really don’t have a lot of time, because I have to go to Jumu’ah,” Chris said.
Tammy had heard that Chris had gone full-fledged Muslim while finishing out his prison stint, but she figured all that would go away once he was home.
“Please don’t be mad at me,” she began. She then paused for a couple of seconds. “I’m getting married in a few weeks,” she continued, before putting her head down to avoid any eye contact with Chris. “I’m sorry, and I know I should have told you, but I . . .”
Chris looked over at her and didn’t say a word. He simply got up from the couch and walked out of the room. Tammy called out his name a couple of times, but Chris kept walking. Tammy teared up immediately, knowing that once again, she had hurt the man whom she still loved. She was starting to regret even telling him as she stood there in sorrow. The only thing left for her to do was leave.
* * *
Lamar walked into the bedroom where Falisha was putting Jordan to sleep. After she had the baby, she had become super thick all over. Her thighs were thicker, her ass was fatter, and her breasts went up at least one cup size. Her stomach wasn’t flat like it used to be, but Lamar liked it the way it was.
“Come on and put Jordan in his playpen so we can do us,” he said, climbing onto the bed.
Jordan was dead asleep, but Falisha wasn’t up for having sex right then. “I don’t feel like it. Maybe later,” she said, not budging one bit.
Lamar wasn’t trying to hear that. He rolled Falisha onto her back, and then got on top of her. “Stop playin’ with me, Falisha,” he said, leaning in, trying to kiss her. “Open up,” he smiled, thinking she was joking.
“I said no,” Falisha replied, turning her head so Lamar’s kiss missed her lips.
He kissed and bit down on her neck anyway and reached down to pull off her house shorts.
“So, you gon’ rape me?” she said, getting Lamar’s attention.
“Whoa!” He picked his head up and looked down at her. “Are you fucking serious?”
“What part of no don’t you understand?” she shot back with a stern look. “Get off of me.”
She didn’t have to tell Lamar twice. He practically jumped out of the bed when he saw that she wasn’t playing. “What da fuck is yo’ problem?” he snapped.
“I told you, I didn’t feel like it,” she answered, rolling back over next to him. “And I don’t feel like talking about it, so could you please just leave it alone.”
Falisha felt bad denying him that which was his, but there was no way in hell she could indulge him at that time. The doctor had told her not to have sex for at least a week, and since she had just received the penicillin shot two days ago, Lamar could still contract gonorrhea from her. He may already have it, but just in case he didn’t, Falisha wanted to be STD free so she could deny that he received it from her. She’d like to have killed Fox, but she was also mad at herself for even having sex with him, especially without a condom. She had made a horrible mistake, but in the end, only Lamar would suffer.
* * *
Lisa sat in the house, thinking about everything Tammy had said to her at the mall. It somehow coincided with everything the rest of her friends and family had been telling her over the past few months. On days like today, she totally agreed with the notion of having a male friend in her life. It was Friday evening, Naomi was at her grandmother’s house for the weekend, and all Lisa had planned was to wash clothes and clean up the house for the rest of the night. This would have been one of those days when she’d call Nate and get a dose of her “medication,” but he wasn’t answering her calls. Tammy was busy, Falisha was looking after Jordan, and Kim was over 500 miles away. In a nutshell, Lisa was lonely.
“Come on, Nate,” Lisa mumbled to herself as she dialed his number. “Shit,” she yelled when his phone went straight to voice mail.
She couldn’t believe that she’d been dumped by a man who she wasn’t even dating. Nate had dropped her like a bad habit, and it seemed he wasn’t going back on his decision. The conversation she had with Tammy just kept playing back in her head. Lisa became so frustrated that she jumped up, grabbed her car keys off the dresser, and headed for the door. The only thing she could think about was getting some air, and given her current circumstances, it looked like she was going to be getting plenty of it . . . all by herself.
* * *
“Why ya face so long, my nigga?” Bizz asked, seeing that something was bothering Chris.
Chris just shook his head. “I’m good, homie,” he responded, lying in his bunk and staring at the ceiling.
Bizz chuckled while he counted his money. “You worried about ya baby mom. I already know. I been there too. All I can tell you is that you’re home now. It’s plenty of bitches out here for the pickings. It ain’t no need to stress over one.”
Chris heard Bizz, but he just wasn’t feeling him at the moment. It was one thing for Tammy to step off on him while he was in prison, but now she was talking about getting married. When she told Chris that, it was like getting smacked with a ton of bricks. Even though she did what she did, Chris had always kept it in the back of his mind that one day they would get back together. He thought that in a couple of years, perhaps they would tie the knot and maybe even have another kid. All that had gone straight out the window, and now he was about to get on some other stuff.
“Yo, Bizz, do that offer to join ya crew still stand?” Chris asked, sitting in his bunk.
Bizz was crazy enough to sell cocaine out of the halfway house, but he did have morals and respected a man who had good character. The crack game wasn’t for everybody, and even though Chris used to be in the streets real heavy, Bizz knew that this wasn’t what he really wanted.
“So, what do you got going on tomorrow?” Bizz asked, stuffing some money inside an envelope and tossing it up to Chris.
“Nothing, why? What do you need me to do with this?” Chris asked, taking the bills out of the envelope.
Bizz sat back on his bunk and began twirling his thumbs. Anytime he did that, he was in thinking mode. “Homie, you been here for about three weeks now, and you haven’t fell into the street life yet. You wasn’t worried about clothes, you’re not eating tak
eout every night with us, you’re not doing any drugs or drinking any liquor, nor do you mind riding the bus. I know you don’t have any money because you’re too damn stubborn to ask ya family, and even though you put in a million applications, you still don’t have a job. Hell, I’m not even sure if you got a shot of pussy yet, and still, every time I see you, you always got something positive to say. Through all of your hardships, you still get down on ya hands and knees and pray to Allah. You’re really trying to stick to the religion and stay away from the foolishness. From one brother to another, I respect you for that.”
“Yeah, I respect you too, homie,” Malcolm yelled out from under the blankets.
“You love Allah, and a part of me envies you for that, but in a good way,” Bizz continued. “Look, it’s like ten grand in that envelope. Do whatever you want with it, but just leave the streets to niggas like me and Malcolm. You’re better than us,” Bizz finished.
Bizz lay back on the bed and flipped out his cell phone, not really wanting to give Chris a chance to reject the gift. He had really taken a liking to Chris and the way he was living his life, and in some crazy way, it inspired Bizz to want to do better for himself. The only problem with that was, the streets were all Bizz knew, and the drug game was his life.
* * *
Nate sat in the parking lot of his apartment complex looking at his phone. He could see that while he was at work, Lisa had called him a couple of times, probably to see if she could get one last booty call in. He was more than tempted to call her back, but as a man, he had to stand his ground. The sex was great, but Nate needed more. For him, pussy was easy to get, and he had a whole list of chicks he could call to get right, but Nate wanted more out of life. He wanted a female who was about her business and who could stand by his side, not only when the sun was shining, but also when the storm came. He wanted somebody to come home to after a long day’s work, and for that same someone to have a hot meal waiting for him. He wanted someone who he could give his all to. Nate wanted to fall in love, and for some odd reason, he thought that Lisa could have been the one.
“Let her go,” he said, as he got out of his car.
He stared at his phone the whole three flights up to his apartment, and as he walked down his hallway, he couldn’t believe his eyes. Lisa was standing in front of his door, leaning against the wall, waiting for him. She didn’t look like herself though. It looked like she had been crying, and her sassy and aggressive demeanor was more humbled. Nate didn’t know what to think, but what he did know was that sex was out of the question with her looking like this.
“Are you okay?” he asked, leaning against the wall directly across from her.
Lisa picked her head up and looked into Nate’s eyes. She was going against her better judgment, but she wanted to see for herself whether opening up to someone was in her best interest. She wanted to see how it felt to have more than just meaningless sex, and although she was galaxies away from being ready for a relationship, Lisa wanted to see if she could have a male as a friend. These were the baby steps Tammy was talking about.
“I’ve been a dental assistant for five years now,” Lisa began.
Nate was all ears. “Tell me about it.”
Chapter 5
“Ahhhh, shhitt,” Lamar yelled, standing over the toilet holding his dick. “Ouch, ouch, ouch!” he said every time he let a little pee come out. “What da fuck is goin’ on?” he questioned, feeling like he was pissing out fire. “Ouch, ouch, ouch!”
Lamar had never had an STD in his life, so it was kind of freaking him out. He had noticed some fluid coming out of his dick the other day, but he didn’t pay it any mind, thinking it might have been precome or something. He didn’t know that it was the beginning stages of gonorrhea.
“Oh, you son of a bitch,” he yelled, tapping his feet on the floor as he let a long stream of urine out at one time. “Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!”
By the time Lamar finished urinating, he was sweating and exhausted. It took the life out of him. He knew exactly what type of STD he had, and it wasn’t from his own personal experience. Working in a strip club, he’d seen it all. Two of his boys caught the disease during ladies’ night a couple of years back. They ended up giving a female a threesome backstage during a private show. Lamar now remembered as clear as day the symptoms they’d described a couple of days later.
How da fuck? Lamar thought to himself as he stood in the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror.
Since he and Falisha had been together, he hadn’t cheated on her, not one time. There could only be one other explanation, and given the fact that Falisha was unwilling to have sex with him, Lamar quickly put two and two together.
“I’ma kill dis bitch,” he said as he stormed toward the bedroom.
Fortunately for Falisha, she wasn’t home, because if she was, Lamar would have tried to do exactly what he said he was going to do to her. Not only had she cheated on him, but she had given him a vicious sexually transmitted disease, which meant that she also let a dirty-dick nigga hit it raw. Lamar was so mad his blood pressure shot through the roof, so much so, that he lost his sight for a second and had to sit down.
He got himself together, and then tried to call her. Of course, she wasn’t answering, but Lamar kept trying. After about twenty attempts, the phone just went to voice mail, indicating that Falisha had either turned the phone off, or her battery died. He called across the street to her mom’s house, but her mom said that she wasn’t there. She couldn’t have been far, because she had Jordan with her, and her car was still parked out front. Knowing that eventually she was going to walk through the front door, Lamar sat downstairs in the living room and waited for her. Only God could save her from what he was about to do.
* * *
Chris pulled the hood over his head as he exited the halfway house. He only had a five-hour pass, but that was more than enough time to go and check out a couple of apartments he was looking to rent. Once he had a place to stay, his probation officer was willing to let him leave the halfway house and be on home confinement, which was pretty much freedom, compared to what he had already endured. Chris and several other parolees walked toward the bus stop, then out of nowhere, a Chrysler 300 pulled up alongside them. Chris didn’t know who it was until Tammy rolled her window down.
“Come on and get in,” she stated.
Chris turned around and kept walking, not really in the mood to talk to her. Tammy drove alongside him, continuously asking him to stop, but he wouldn’t. She threw the car in park, jumped out, and ran up to him.
“Chris, can we talk?” she said, trying to block his path.
Chris ignored her and kept moving her out of his way. She wasn’t taking no for an answer and kept pulling at him, trying to get him to stop.
“Stop acting like a kid,” she screamed. “You a man. Be a man about the situation.”
Chris had heard enough. He stopped in his tracks and looked Tammy directly in her eyes. If she really wanted to talk, it was time he let her know exactly how he felt.
“You ain’t shit. Fuck you, Tammy,” he snapped, pointing at her face.
Tammy jumped a little, thinking maybe Chris was going to hit her, and after hearing what he said, she wished he would have hit her instead of saying those words, because they hurt more than a slap or a punch. She couldn’t believe he had the nerve to say that to her after everything she’d been through.
“I ain’t shit? Fuck me?” Tammy asked, her voice rising. “Fuck me?” she said again.
She was enraged, but more hurt than anything. Tears filled her eyes, and all of her feelings concerning their relationship were about to pour out of her like a river, whether or not Chris liked it.
“You left me out here by myself, Chris,” she snapped as she shoved him. “You know how fucking hard it was with two kids, no job, and no money?” Tammy yelled. “What else was I supposed to do? What else was I supposed to do?” she cried, beating his chest.
Tammy couldn’t stop crying
, and as Chris shamelessly tried to walk off, she pulled and punched on him. One thing he couldn’t do was watch Tammy cry like this. She was letting him have it.
“I was faithful to you. I was loyal, but you cheated on me and had a baby on me,” she screamed at the top of her lungs. She was crying so hard, she could barely get her words out.
Even through the heavy rain, Chris could see the tears falling down her face. He knew that he’d hurt her by going to jail, but not as much as Tammy was displaying. He could sense the hardships she went through by her words, and he felt bad that she had to go through what she’d been through. Her situation was so deep, Chris couldn’t even fix his mouth to complain about his little heartbreak from when Tammy left him. It just didn’t even out to what she had experienced. Chris was starting to see that now.
“Come here, Tammy,” he said as he reached out for her. “Stop and come here.”
She resisted at first, but eventually succumbed to his touch. He held her tightly in his arms, knowing that he could never hate her, even if he wanted to. This time was for Tammy, and finally getting it all out of her system was exactly what she needed.
* * *
Falisha walked through the door with Jordan in her arms. She had been next door with Carol for a few hours, gossiping and wrapping up Tammy’s wedding gifts. Lamar was sitting on the couch, waiting for her the whole time.
“Hey, I was next door. My phone was in Jordan’s bag, so that’s why I didn’t answer it,” she said, walking over and handing Jordan over to Lamar.
“Damn, you wanna know the crazy part about it?” Lamar said, walking the baby over and placing him in his playpen. “You wasn’t even going to tell me.” He followed her to the kitchen.
“Tell you what, boo?” she asked, trying to play it off as she stood at the sink washing out Jordan’s bottles.
By the time she turned around, Lamar’s hand was already in motion, striking the side of her face with force.
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