Compassion filled Cora’s gaze. “No, sweetheart not yet.”
Luella sat back and sipped her tea.
An hour later, she had her night gown on and was struggling to endure the pain. Laudanum only took the edge off. She was fine if she didn’t move. Cora had washed and dressed many abrasions that Luella hadn’t even realized she had. What would happen to her? Her future was blank. There no longer were any plans she could look forward to. She just hoped that she’d walk again and that she wouldn’t be left to take care of herself. How old did she have to be to claim land in Oregon? So long as she healed she could do all she needed to except build the house.
She sighed. Or maybe she wouldn’t even get to Oregon. The Walshes seemed to be good people, but if her own father could turn her away, what would keep anyone else from doing the same? She’d have to find a husband and fast. There were a few single men with wagons. Leo Span always smiled at her. He was about twenty years old and nice looking, but he catered to his mother an awful lot. Davis Bird traveled alone. He’d have room in his wagon. He seemed nice enough, but he never washed. Well most in the party were filthy, but they washed once in a while. Davis hadn’t changed his clothes in two months. Someone said he was twenty-five. Who else? There was Jimmy Tomlin. He liked to watch her—and every other female. She’d seen him peeking in wagons watching women dress, but no one had believed her. A shudder rippled through her. Besides, he was too old at thirty-seven.
At eighteen she was more than old enough to marry but most of the young men were either married or didn’t have their own wagon. Maybe she could get Davis Bird to take a bath. If she cleaned his wagon and washed his clothes and bedding, he might be tolerable. But how was she to get his attention?
She’d have to spend time outside of the wagon. It hurt to move but… Being left behind couldn’t happen. She would never survive.
“Ma’am, it’s Zander,” the young man called softly from outside. “I’ll be under the wagon for the first half of the night and then Declan will be here. Good night.” He rolled under the wagon. She heard him moving and mumbling, probably getting the rocks out from under him, he settled down.
She stared at the canvas above her. She’d rather sleep during the day so she didn’t have to feel the rough road as they traveled. Zander’s nose made a whistling sound when he took a breath. It wasn’t very loud, but it made her smile.
Hours later she heard Declan wake Zander, who responded none too gently, with a few grunts and a lot of movement.
“Shh, she’s sleeping,” Declan said.
“I know that,” Zander replied defensively.
“Don’t worry, I can’t sleep,” she said in a loud whisper.
“Was that Luella?” Zander asked.
“Who else would it be?” She could picture Declan shaking his head.
She heard a bit of rustling and then all was quiet for a long while.
“Good night, Luella,” Declan said softly.
“Good night, Declan.” She smiled to herself. Too bad she couldn’t add any of the men who worked for Harrison to her list of possibilities. They didn’t have their own wagons, so just what did they plan to do once they got to their destination? Fort Laramie wasn’t supposed to be too far from Chimney Rock. Did they have places for the wives of the soldiers there? Maybe they’d pass near another wagon party and she’d catch someone’s eye.
All of her thinking had dimmed her hopes. What if nothing worked? Her best plan would be to stay at the fort until she found a husband. Her thoughts kept swirling round and round until she finally heard the sounds of the camp coming awake.
Mothers scolded, children complained, and fathers threatened. Just like her family. Her heart dropped. She’d do well to remember she didn’t have a family anymore.
“Are you awake?” It was Declan.
“Yes.”
“Would you like some coffee before Cora can come to help you?”
“That would be very nice, thank you.”
Declan loosened the cinch rope at the back of the wagon and looked in. “I’ll raise the canvas again after you’re dressed and all. You’ll be able to look at Chimney Rock all day. The Captain said we’ll stay here an extra day.”
“Thank you for being so thoughtful.”
He wasn’t gone but a minute before he stuck his head back in. “Sorry, just found out we’re leaving right now. There were at least three Indians near the camp last night. I never saw a thing. Hold on, it’ll be a hard ride.”
Her heart beat faster. Indians wouldn’t even want her since she couldn’t walk. People hurried all around her. She dipped her cup into the half-full bucket and got some water then reached for the medicine. She hastily poured some into the water and drank it down. She had just finished swallowing when the wagon lurched and she fell back.
She hoped everyone escaped, her family included.
“Do you know how to use a rifle?” Declan yelled over his shoulder.
“Yes.”
“Good, we might need you to shoot.”
“I don’t think I’ll be helpful. I took medicine and I’m feeling strange.”
“How strange?” he yelled. “How much did you take?”
“I poured—”
“What?”
“I poured some I don’t know how much!”
“Drops right?”
Oh no, what had she done. She didn’t even think about how much to put into the water.
She held on even though she was lying down. “No! No drops!”
Chapter Two
The oxen were at their limit when one scout, Oscar Randolph, signaled for them to corral. The settlers quickly made a circle with their wagons and put only the livestock needed to pull their wagons in the middle so they couldn’t be driven off by Indians.
Heath ran to Declan. “I’ll unyoke, you’ll need to move Luella. Grab the rifles and extra bullets.”
Declan had already gathered the firearms. Now he went back in to get Luella, who was sleeping through it all. He’d been worried about Indians and about her dying from too much medicine. He squatted down and picked her up, covers and all. She was still wearing her nightgown.
“Heath, grab the straw tick. She’s hardly dressed, and the ground might give her a chill.”
They got her settled behind one of the wagon wheels. She still slept but her breathing looked to be normal.
Zander slid under the wagon and rolled to them. “I didn’t see one Indian out there. I’m going to the Walsh wagon to help.” He crawled out and stood, then ran off with his head ducked along the line of wagons.
Declan lay down next to Luella and looked out from under the wagon.
“I don’t see anything.” In fact, once everyone got settled, ready to shoot it grew eerily quiet.
Luella rolled over and put her arm over his shoulder. He was trying to figure out how to move her without causing more pain.
“You have everyone’s attention,” Heath murmured.
Gently he rolled her onto her back and leaned over her to adjust her covers. She mumbled something and he leaned over again and put his ear closer to the mouth.
“What did you say?” He studied her face. She was still sleeping.
“Get off her,” Heath whispered harshly.
Declan furrowed his brow. What was wrong? “I thought she woke up.” He glanced over his shoulder and saw too many women glaring at him. “What did I do?”
“Let’s just concentrate on keeping everyone safe,” Heath advised.
They both hunkered down and scanned the area. They waited and waited, and there wasn’t a sign of trouble.
“Heath, who saw the moccasin, prints? Were they big or small? How many were there?”
“I’m not sure but Micky—you know the one that dresses like a man—she wears moccasins. She grew up in the mountains trapping with her Pa.”
Declan groaned. “Her pa wears them too.”
“I’ll go see what Harrison thinks,” Heath said before he raced off.
Declan kept one
eye on Luella and another on the land beyond the wagon circle. What had he done wrong to have the women glaring at him? Did they think he took advantage of Luella? That was all he needed. He’d ask Zander or Heath to drive the wagon. He would not get tangled up in anything involving a woman.
His heart hurt as his thoughts drifted to Alana as they so often did. If only he could have saved her. If only he’d known where she’d had gone. Sometimes even now he felt guilty eating a heaping plateful of food. He remembered when there was nothing but cornmeal and little of it.
“Declan? What’s going on?” Luella asked, her words slightly slurred.
He turned his head and smiled. “Someone claims to have seen signs of Indians in the camp and we packed up and rode hard. Now we’re waiting for the Indians to arrive.”
“You don’t sound convinced that will happen.”
“I really don’t know. How are you feeling?”
“My arm hurts. I should put it in a sling.”
“What about your shoulder and your leg?”
“Those hurt too but my arm is almost unbearable.” She turned her head and when she turned back to him her steel-blue eyes were full of tears.
He gazed in the direction she had been looking and saw her family. Her father was scowling but her brothers were laughing.
“I’m sorry. I know your father is the last person you wanted to see.”
She nodded. “Why are people staring at us? Shouldn’t they be looking for the Indians?”
“If you notice it’s the women staring. They think I did something to you. I’m not sure what they think I did but from their faces I think it wasn’t something good.”
“What happened?” Her voice was becoming stronger, and she frowned.
“I carried you out here since you were asleep from the medicine. I leaned close a couple times to make sure your quilt was covering you. Then you were mumbling and I put my ear near your mouth but I don’t know what you said. Heath says it probably looked indecent from where they were watching.”
“Oh my. Well you didn’t do anything improper.”
“You’re wearing your nightgown.” He didn’t mention her blond hair was unbound and mussed
“My goodness why can’t people mind their own business? I took too much laudanum, that’s all. I don’t understand people and the way they jump to conclusions. Let’s not worry about it.”
He nodded and stared across the grass. He knew that wouldn’t be the end of it. Where was Heath?
Zander plopped down beside him. “Harrison said for you to stop talking to Luella. Don’t look at her. People are talking, and it isn’t good. He wants you at his wagon, and then Heath will come here.”
Luella opened her mouth as if to say something, but then she snapped it closed. Declan picked up his gun, checked it, and then scurried to the Walsh wagon. Heath skedaddled as soon as Declan got there.
“I think you’re right about the moccasin prints. I’m not sure if anything else was seen or not. It’s best to be cautious,” Harrison said.
Declan nodded.
“It’s also best if you keep your distance from Luella,” warned Harrison. “Best to be cautious, though people are nosey, if you ask me.”
“And wrong,” Cora chimed in.
“I’m not going to pay them any mind. It’s my business what I do.” He glanced at Cora. “Or don’t do.”
“Just be aware,” Harrison suggested.
“I will.”
They lay on the ground for another half hour before Captain London announced it was a false alarm. Then he added, “But we must remain vigilant. Everyone, let’s get ready to go!” he called.
There was much grumbling. No one had eaten much that day. Thankfully, Cora had a whole pan of cornbread that they split amongst themselves. Luella claimed not to be hungry, but Cora wrapped it and put it in the wagon with her.
* * *
It was a disappointment to see Zander driving instead of Declan. She mentioned rolling up the canvas to Zander, but he didn’t like the idea. “Thing is, if you can see out, anyone can see in. Like Indians.”
She sighed in disappointment. It would have been so nice to have a view while she bumped along. Would she ever heal enough to take care of herself? She had really fallen hard yesterday; she sure was lucky the wagon wheel hadn’t killed her.
How could her father have abandoned her? Sure, she was hurt now. But being injured is no reason to leave your daughter behind.
Her father’s glare and her brothers’ laughter hurt deeply. They weren’t laughing at her, true, but her circumstances didn’t even impact them. Now to know people were talking about her and Declan? She’d once been one to gossip herself, but never again. How many people had she hurt with her words? Now she knew what it was like to be talked about.
She reached for Declan’s Bible and opened it to a page marked by an envelope. It just had Declan’s name on it and it looked like a female had written it. Was he expecting a woman to join him from Ireland? He was a handsome man, so why shouldn’t he? The girl was lucky.
How would she battle the gossip? Sometimes denials made people believe the gossip even more. But ignoring it didn’t make it die down either. People only assumed there was something to hide. Crying would only show her shame. She sighed. She’d never been one to give people a second chance. Her parents were the same way. Why hadn’t she realized how wrong it was?
She stared at the Bible. She needed to be truthful with herself. She knew how wrong and hurtful her actions had been. Sometimes when a person suffered she’d be glad, thinking as though that person deserved it.
Lord I thought myself as a victim having to do all the chores. I thought myself better than those who didn’t have to labor all day. I hated the girls who had time to laugh and make friends. Though I never started a rumor, I was more than glad to pass it on as truth. I suppose it’s only right that it should happen to me. You reap what you sow. It’s hurtful and it’s wrong, and please Lord, forgive me. I always thought of myself as kind and giving. I suppose I was before this trip. Back home everyone had the same lot. I thought myself stronger than others since I did so much more. Sometimes it made me bitter. I guess the bitterness spread. Please help me keep my mouth closed and not to talk about others. Is that why my parents threw me away? Am I not nice anymore?
A tear rolled down her face as she began to read. She’d heard the Bible read to her many times and was made to read it herself, but it was hard to make sense of what was being said. Why did one person quote an eye for an eye while another would quote Vengeance is mine saith the Lord?
She knew right from wrong and vowed to walk the right path. But she’d need her faith in God to do it.
Finally, hours later, they stopped. There wasn’t a spot on her body that hadn’t been banged. Zander hadn’t even checked on her, not once.
Cora climbed into the wagon. “We need to get you dressed even though you’ll need to change back in a few hours.” She took a dress out of the gunny sack. “We’ll put this on for now and I’ll stitch up a dress that will button from top to bottom. It’ll be easy to get on and off.”
“You’ve been very kind to me, Cora.”
“People helped me when I needed it. I’m just passing the kindness along.”
“What a wonderful idea. I will pass on kindness too.” She was going to try hard.
After she dressed, Harrison carried her out to their fire and set her down on a few folded up blankets. She faced Chimney Rock, and it was more glorious than she had imagined. It looked massive and almost the color of a rusty tool. The very top was the shape of a chimney.
“I feel so small in comparison.” She smiled.
“I think most of us do,” Cora replied. “I don’t want to upset your meal but there has been some talk about you and Declan. We know it isn’t true, and soon people will remember that you are both moral people. We considered banning Declan from the wagon but it’s silly. I won’t change my life around for a few old gossips.”
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p; “We’ve asked all three to dine with us to show that we aren’t concerned,” Harrison added.
Her face heated. “I’ve been such a bother.”
“Not at all,” Zander said as he sat next to her. “What do you think of the rock?”
“It’s majestic.”
He smiled. “I like that word, majestic.”
Declan tipped his hat to both women and sat next to Zander and Heath did the same and then he took a seat next to Declan.
“Are we staying an extra day?” Luella asked, hoping the answer was yes.
“Sorry, I know you get thrown around in the back but Captain London wants to make up for the long stop we made mid-morning,” Declan said.
“I was looking forward to an extra day,” Cora said with a heavy sigh. “I have diapers to wash.”
Harrison’s laugh was quickly subdued when Cora glared at him.
“I wish I could help you,” Luella said.
“I’ll help her. We’ll wash them after supper and hopefully they’ll dry during the night.”
Cora smiled at Harrison and Luella felt a bit of envy. They were evidently in love.
“Then Sally Waverly, Emily Swatt, and Sue Bandor will stop by to sew you a dress, Luella.” Cora said.
“I can probably remake something I already have.”
Zander laughed. “One handed?”
“I didn’t say it would look good.” She smiled and the camaraderie made her heart feel lighter.
“I’m sure there is something I can do to help,” Luella said after the laughter died down.
“In all honesty, I’d rather help you get ready for bed before it gets dark. It’ll be easier on us both. I’m going to help you change and Mrs. Chapman will put some ointment on the abrasions you didn’t mention yesterday.”
Luella’s face heated. “I needed so much tending I didn’t want to be a bother. But now, realizing my folly, I would like them looked at.” She gazed past her companions and wasn’t surprised to see all the stares. “I don’t suppose my parents have asked after me?”
Harrison cleared his throat. “That just may take a little time. Your father has a wide stubborn streak. Don’t you worry, we are here to take care of you and you’re welcome to come to Oregon with us.”
Luella’s Longing: Romance on the Oregon Trail Book Two Page 2