Bittersweet Always

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Bittersweet Always Page 3

by Ella Fields


  I blinked, thinking I might need a new brain and to most fucking definitely never touch vodka again.

  Whose bright idea was that anyway?

  Oh, right. Mine.

  Toby extended his hand, and I scrunched my nose at it. “Yeah, no. I can get up myself, thank you.”

  And I did, only for the world to spin again and my stupid legs to betray me, causing me to wobble. Hands landed on my waist to steady me. And call me drunk, crazy, or just plain stupid, but I swore my heart froze two seconds too long in my chest before resuming a fast staccato.

  His whispered words drifted warmly over my cheek. “You’re welcome.”

  My face was turning red. I knew it, yet I couldn’t help but look up.

  My neck cricked back. The guy was tall, and the day’s stubble covered his strong, square jaw. His lips were thin, but his teeth were blinding white in the dark as he grinned down at me. Scowling, I met his gaze, ready to ream him out and push his hands off me. But it didn’t happen. His brows, dark brown and thick like his hair, lowered as he surveyed me like a hunter confused by its prey.

  He wasn’t your typical type of sexy.

  What he was, was beautiful. I’d heard the term stunning, but now I knew firsthand what it meant. For I was stunned, my next breath sitting deep within my lungs, refusing to budge.

  “What’s your name?”

  I blinked, almost wheezing as I asked, “Why does it matter?”

  He chuckled, and the sound was all sorts of deep and delicious. “It matters a great deal.”

  Swallowing harshly, I stepped back, tore my gaze from his, and collected Daisy from the asshole who was her ex-boyfriend.

  Much to my dismay, they walked us back. How chivalrous of them, I snarked silently as they followed us. But I didn’t care enough to argue about it. My legs felt like two sticks of modeling clay, and I was looking forward to some serious one-on-one time with my pillow.

  Toby’s gaze burning into my back had my fingers bunching. Tempted. I was so damn tempted, but I was too tired for sex. Plus, I wasn’t typically a one-night stand kind of girl. But for him, I knew I might just forget about that. So I sent him a glare over my shoulder.

  “The keys,” Daisy said.

  I snapped out of my thoughts as we stopped outside our dorm. “What?”

  “When we went back in to get our shoes, I don’t know where I put them.”

  Shit. I tried to think back to what we did.

  We drank.

  We laughed.

  We had a staring contest.

  Then we were out the door, only returning to grab shoes and cardigans.

  We were real winners tonight.

  “It’s late,” Toby said, and I watched as he peered inside the window on the door. “You could get in but not into your room. I’ve heard of people crashing on the couches in the common room when this happens.”

  My stomach roiled. No way. I couldn’t do ancient, germ-infested couches. I wasn’t a prude, but I was, however, a little OCD about cleanliness.

  “They can’t do that,” Quinn said. And despite him being an ass, I was grateful he saw the absurdity of the idea.

  “Let’s go then,” Toby said with a shrug.

  “What?” both Quinn and I asked in unison.

  “They can stay at our place for one night. At least we know who’s jizzed on our couches.”

  Again, my stomach roiled. Gurgling like it was a mini volcano. This drinking thing was such a bad idea. “I’m not sleeping on your semen-infested couch.” Feeling defiant and outraged by the mere suggestion, I stuck my hands on my hips, then wobbled slightly. Quinn grabbed my arm, and I shot him a thankful smile before remembering he was a heart destroyer.

  Quinn sighed. “Well, shit.”

  “Yep,” Daisy agreed, moving up the stairs to look inside. “Come on, it’s only a few hours until the sun comes up. We’ll survive.”

  I grumbled, knowing we didn’t have much of a choice, and went to climb the steps.

  “Wait,” Quinn said.

  We turned around, and he ran a hand through his sandy blond hair. “Just stay at our place. He was joking. The couches are fine; his OCD wouldn’t let a crumb fall on them.” He jerked his thumb at Toby, who was leaning against the brick wall of the building. A knee bent, one foot resting over the bricks.

  “Whatever,” Toby huffed, ducking his head a little.

  My feet carried me closer to him. Observing him in his jeans and white band t-shirt with the slightly embarrassed look on his face, even in the dark, I started seeing him in a whole new, interesting light. “You’re a bit of a neat freak, are you?”

  His head shot up, and he straightened from the wall, stepping closer. “I like to call it hygienic. Tidy.”

  My breath quivered as I stared into his eyes. He stared back, a tiny smile playing on his lips.

  “Pippa,” Daisy cut in. “What do you want to do?”

  “Pippa?” Toby asked, not removing his eyes from mine. Damn it, Daisy. “Fuck, that would sound amazing rolling off my tongue when it’s between those beautiful legs of yours.”

  Instantly, my thighs clenched, and the heat that’d settled into my stomach spread its burning flames, embers darting everywhere. I could even feel my face growing warm. Again.

  Quinn laughed and said something, but the buzzing in my ears drowned it out. He slapped Toby on the back before he and Daisy started walking, but I was too distracted to chase after her.

  When the shock of his words finally fled, I scowled. “So you’re a neat freak with a filthy mouth.”

  Pieces of dark hair sprinkled onto his forehead as he dragged his hand through it lazily, thoughtfully, provokingly. As if he knew I was imagining my own hand touching it. “It’s about to get a whole lot filthier, I hope.”

  He was serious. Trying for indifference, I scoffed, but he moved closer. I stepped back, skirting around him before he blocked me.

  “Pippa.” He tsk’d. “Don’t tell me you’re not a fan of getting dirty in the best way possible. You’ll break my heart.”

  Raising a brow, I retorted, “I’m not going to say any such thing.” Feeling bold, I stepped closer and whispered, “What I’m not a fan of, though, is a man who likes to talk a lot instead of doing a lot.”

  I patted his chest, intending to walk away and catch up to Daisy, when his hand caught mine faster than lightning. “What about both?”

  Inhaling a shaky breath, I stared at our hands on his chest. His was huge, warm, and dusted with dark hairs. Looking up, I asked what I already knew the answer to. “Both what?”

  His smirk was adorable and sexy, making my heart flutter. Maybe I was drunker than I originally thought. “Can’t a guy talk a little while doing a lot?”

  Oh, boy. I averted my gaze, pulling my hand free. “I’ve forgotten what we were even talking about,” I lied, walking down the sidewalk.

  He didn’t walk beside me, but when I shot a quick look over my shoulder, he was smiling and clearly staring at my ass.

  I felt his gaze as if I were standing too close to a bonfire. Part of me wanted to stop walking to see what would happen, how it would feel if he got too close again.

  You don’t even know him. Keep walking.

  It dawned on me then that we indeed didn’t know this guy. But Quinn did. And even though he’d broken her heart in a million different ways, Daisy obviously still trusted Quinn enough to follow him home.

  The poor girl was still thinking with her hopeless heart, though. The thought had my pace speeding up until I caught up with Quinn and Daisy.

  We left campus, crossing the street and walking up the driveway of a cream and white townhouse with two cars in the drive.

  They walked inside, and Toby grabbed my hand at the door before I could do the same. “You don’t need to sleep on the couch. You can take my bed.”

  I bit the inside of my cheek. “The couch will do just fine.”

  His hand tightened around mine when I tried to walk into the house. A little tug p
ulled at my stomach, but I ignored it. “I didn’t mean for that.” His eyes softened, some of the intensity that filled them minutes ago fleeing. “You and Daisy can take my bed. It’s way more comfortable than the couch.”

  Not knowing what to say because that was kind of sweet, I stumbled over my words. “Uh, that’s okay. Really, the couch is fine.”

  Once again, I pulled my hand free of his, heading inside and finding Daisy already splayed out on the sectional in the dark living room.

  The front door closed as I laid down, sinking into the soft cushions and suede fabric. Footfalls sounded on the stairs, and I squeezed my eyes closed, berating myself for the slight feeling of disappointment that came knocking on my chest.

  I woke to the sound of doors opening and slamming closed, and feet slapping the tiles downstairs. I’m a light as fuck sleeper, and the yawn that howled out of me reminded me of how long it took me to fall asleep.

  Hours.

  My dick wouldn’t deflate, and I eventually had to rub one out. I felt a little sick for it but, ultimately, not enough not to do it.

  Imagining all the wicked things I’d do to her body, imagining what she’d sound like when she came hard on my cock. Yeah, there was no way I was sleeping until I’d satiated the fantasies flying through my mind like a vivid dream.

  Those plump lips and those playful green orbs. I wondered how they’d look as I slid myself between those lips. Would they hood? Or would they widen? Did she scream, or did she moan loudly? Maybe she made no sound at all. Fuck, maybe she was a heavy panter.

  My dick was rock hard again, and I groaned, about to slide my hand inside my briefs when chatter from downstairs met my ears.

  They were still here.

  Getting up faster than I think I’d ever gotten out of bed before, I scooped my sweats up off the floor, hopping around the room as I shoved my legs inside.

  After taking a long ass piss, I quickly brushed my teeth and grabbed a shirt, pulling it over my head as I ran downstairs.

  Calm down, you fucker.

  God damn. My heart was racing like crazy.

  What if she didn’t want anything to do with the likes of me?

  Slamming the brakes on my brain, I stopped outside the kitchen, looked at the coffee machine, and decided to make one. Look aloof and all that. Nothing out of the ordinary here.

  Besides the drop-dead gorgeous spitfire residing in my living room, of course.

  Once done, I took a sip, then cringed. Not only from it being too hot, but also because toothpaste and coffee are not a great combo.

  Whatever.

  I waltzed casually into the living room just as the reason for my semi raced out of it toward the downstairs bathroom.

  Bedhead, smudged mascara, and her dress hanging haphazardly on her amazing figure … I didn’t care. I still wanted her. Perhaps even more, imagining that I could make her look much worse after I was through with her.

  I turned to Daisy, raising a brow. “You guys got pretty hammered last night?”

  She pinched her lips, looking paler than I remembered her being. Though, it was dark, and my attention was elsewhere. “Not really. We just don’t have much of a tolerance, I guess.”

  I nodded, as that made sense. I didn’t know whether to be happy or disappointed they weren’t ones to frequent parties. Taking a seat on the arm of the couch, I said, “So that’d be a no to coffee?”

  Daisy gave a faint smile. “No, thanks.”

  It all came rushing back then, and I stared for a beat longer than what was probably appropriate, but damn. Where was Quinn? Dickhead was probably still sound asleep, all the while his ex-girlfriend sat here fidgeting on our couch. “So you’re the girl, hey.”

  I was always too curious for my own damn good.

  “I’m who?” she asked, averting her gaze.

  “The one who makes him look like he’s in a faraway place sometimes,” I admitted because it was true. I knew it. Quinn knew it. Let’s all just know it already.

  Before she could respond, the front door opened and slammed closed. Shit, didn’t I lock that? I scratched at my jaw, pondering over it as Alexis, Quinn’s girlfriend, strolled into the living room.

  Evicted from my thoughts, I whistled slightly. “Well, damn. Didn’t predict this happening. At all.” I stood; he needed his ass down here, stat. “Burnell!” I called out, then muttered under my breath, my anxiety kicking up a notch as I placed my mug down and realized Pippa still hadn’t returned. Did she leave? There was a window in the bathroom …

  “What are you doing here?” Alexis asked.

  Fucking shit. “Daisy and her friend were at the party last night. They got locked out of their dorm, so they slept here on the couch.”

  Alexis twisted her lips. “Her friend?”

  Pippa returned. My back straightened.

  “That’d be me.” She slid past Alexis before taking a seat on the couch.

  Quinn finally arrived, pulling a shirt on. “Ah, hey …”

  I zoned out, my attention on Pippa as her eyes bounced back and forth between Alexis and Quinn while she braided her hair. She didn’t have a tie, so she just let it flop down over one shoulder, resting over her breast in a brown, wavy rope.

  I wanted to tug it. Feel it tickle my stomach as she slithered down my body to suck me off. Hell, I think I even wanted to sniff it. It was then that I realized yeah, I’d only just met her, but I was done making excuses. I had a new fixation, and for the first time since I could remember, I didn’t care if it was unhealthy or not.

  Alexis said something that made me snort, and I apologized halfheartedly before grabbing my mug and moving over to take a seat next to Pippa.

  She didn’t seem fazed by how close I was to her because her attention remained stuck on the others. Not gonna lie, I was mildly annoyed by that.

  I wanted her fixated on me the way I was already fixated on her.

  I snapped out of my muddled musings when Daisy said quietly, “I think we should go.”

  No. No, no, no. No. “Seriously? And miss the fight?” Were they even fighting? I didn’t know. All I knew was that there was a good chance of it.

  Pippa agreed with me, though. Thank God. “Yeah, just wait a minute.”

  Daisy’s unease couldn’t be soothed, which was understandable. But I wasn’t ready to let Pippa walk out of my sight just yet. I put my mug on the coffee table. “I’ll walk you both back.”

  They didn’t object, and we passed the tense couple, moving out into the midmorning sunshine.

  Talk. I should’ve asked her something by now.

  What do I ask her? Stay with me because I think I’m a little obsessed with you?

  Yeah. That probably wouldn’t fly.

  “Do they fight much?” Pippa asked as we left the house behind.

  Shrugging, I tried to act aloof even though I felt anything but at the sound of her voice. “Not really,” I admitted. “Which is surprising. That chick is pretty high strung.”

  Truth. I couldn’t deny that Alexis was hot as hell, but Quinn never seemed like the right fit for her. Now I understood why.

  “He’s known her for a long time,” Daisy said, unable to hide the hint of sorrow in her voice.

  Jesus. Poor chick. I didn’t know what to say, so I blurted the first thing that came to me. “So I guess he’d know how to handle her then.”

  Pippa made a cute as fuck grunting sound. “She’s got a reason to be pissed, I guess. We aren’t just two random chicks sleeping on her boyfriend’s couch.”

  She had that right. Some random chick, she was not.

  Humming thoughtfully, I asked Daisy what I already knew to be true. “You and Quinn, you went out then?”

  “A long time ago,” she said.

  She and Pippa continued talking, but my mind turned to white noise, odd bits and pieces flying to the surface.

  When we reached their dorm, I blinked.

  Daisy thanked me, climbing the steps. I winked at her before turning to Pippa, who was
biting her lip.

  “Um, well, thanks.” She went to walk inside.

  She couldn’t do that. Not yet. “Hey, come to our next game?”

  Her brows scrunched, dark lashes curved below them. “You play football, too?” She looked like she was mentally kicking herself as her eyes surveyed me. I loved having them roam over me. “Of course, you do.”

  “Is that a yes?” I moved closer, wanting to touch her and wondering if she’d let me.

  As if knowing my intentions, she moved back a step. “It’s not a yes.”

  “A maybe is as good as a yes, you know.”

  She rolled those pretty eyes, and I grinned, making her shake her head. “I didn’t say maybe either.” She paused, then said, “I’ll think about it.”

  “And me?”

  Squinting, she laughed abruptly. Music to my fucking ears. “You come on a little strong. Has anyone ever told you that?”

  That brought me up short, and I felt the smile wilt off my face. Right, I was acting like a dick. But I’d never done this shit before. Chicks either wanted me or I walked away.

  What was I even doing?

  Scratching the back of my head, I decided, fuck it. I’d made a big enough idiot out of myself. “Sorry. I guess I’ll see you round then.”

  “Wait,” she called after me. I spun around, staring back at her with my stomach lurching.

  Her hand was over her forehead, shielding her eyes from the sun. “I said I’d think about it.” I started to smile again, but she was quick to follow with, “But if I go, it’s not to watch you.”

  She went inside, and I wasn’t sure if I should feel crushed or excited.

  The professor droned on at the podium, and I stifled a yawn.

  It was Wednesday, and I still felt hungover as fuck.

  I was thinking about what to have for lunch when a person two rows down dropped his head, giving view to fiery red hair.

  The girl from the bathroom. Renee.

  College classes were weird. Some days, I thought I knew all the faces of the students who attended the same classes as me. And on others, I had to check I was in the right place.

  My phone buzzed. It was on silent, but the vibration still had the dude sitting in front of me turning his head. I shrugged, pointing at the guy two seats over from me with my pen, as if to say, “Right? So annoying.”

 

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