by ML BINELLI
Jonas looked like a penned bull. He seemed to be snorting and his eyes were bloodshot.
"How could you think that, child? I was suspicious and that was why I interceded and got Aia to work in the house. I swear I never noticed anything out of the ordinary until you began to show signs that something was wrong. But I had no idea of how serious they were. What about you Aia, we planned not to reveal this to her. Why did you do it?" asked Jonas.
"Yes, Mr. Jonas, we did agree to that. But as you can see now, Miss Barbara's opinion of you has changed. With everything that has happened, and her imminent departure, there was no reason for her not to know. Now tell us what happened with the gypsy - Dalia, isn't that right?"
"Dalila," corrected Jonas. "So, Miss Barbara, do you want to know why your mother gave you to me? Is that the answer you seek?"
Barbara's eyes filled with tears. "Yes, I want to know who treated me as if I was a pile of rubbish that needed to be discarded."
"Don't speak nonsense, she never abandoned you!" Jonas said harshly.
"What do you mean?" replied Barbara and now the tears flowed freely down her face. "You are right, she didn't abandon me. She sold me!" What type of woman sells her own child to the highest bidder? Were there others interested in the acquisition? Was it an auction?" she said angrily wishing to hurt the one person who was not there.
"No, you are wrong," said Jonas. "Let me tell you what happened. When your mother, I mean, the wife of your father, died and her child too, Leonardo was ruined. He needed money urgently. The vineyard had suffered because of the bad weather and he did not have the funds to keep it from going bankrupt. He needed funding and the only way he could get what he needed was from your grandmother.
With her child and grandchild dead, he would not be able to get a dime out of her. He needed at least to show up with a child for the bargain to take place. When Leonardo awoke in the morning and discovered them both dead, he became desperate and looked for my help. I recalled that Dalila had just had a child and with his consent and a little money, I went to talk to her. I already knew her from the vineyard and I knew she lived with Aia's parents. I told her what had happened and made the proposal. She refused it immediately, saying she did not want to be separated from you for anything in this world. So I had to think of another approach, a way that would make her accept. I asked her to let me take her and that I would find a way to keep you both close. I told her that you would have the life of a princess, far from the squalor she was accustomed to. She cried and asked how she could ever stay close to you and I noticed that she was warming up to the idea of giving you a better future. Jonas stopped as if to take in air.
"Aia, please go to the carriage and fetch me some water, it is at the front," he said.
As soon as Aia went to the carriage, Jonas looked for the words to finish his story.
"Child, I was born different," he said. "I have never been interested in any woman since I was a boy. Those that attract me are those that are like me."
"I never noticed these tendencies in you, Jonas," said Barbara.
"Yes, I hide them. It is a life of shadows. I told Dalila about it and offered to marry her. This way I could put any suspicion about me to rest. People talk you know. And this is how, wrongly or rightly, you met your mother. I invented a story that Dalila's son and husband had been killed in an accident and managed to place her as your wet nurse. A while later, we were married. You met your mother, do you remember her?
The image of Jonas' wife materialized in her mind and, yes, she remembered her. Always very happy when she came over with Jonas and always very affectionate towards her. So she was her mother. Her deceased mother.
"She was taken by the black death. It was a great loss to me. We lived like brother and sister, she took care of me and I of her. She didn't care about my tendencies and wanted nothing to do with men. She asked me for news about you every day, how you were growing, what you were wearing and what you had done. And she dreamed of the days she breastfed you. Whenever I could I would take her to see you, when you were still a small child. She asked me to teach her to read and write so she could write you a letter explaining her reasons."
Barbara began to cry. How could she have known that her mother was so close? How could she have guessed that that woman who she knew as Jonas' wife was actually her mother? She strained to remember Dalila's face in her mind, but it wasn't enough. "I can't remember her face," said a weepy Barbara.
"You don't need to. All you have to do is look in a mirror to see her. I have never seen a mother and a daughter so alike in appearance. I am sorry, child, but this is the truth. If I had known what would have become of your life, I would not have taken you. When I met your mother, I thought of making a marriage proposal to her to hide my problem, but didn't do so because I was ashamed. It might have been better if you had had a simpler life, close to us. I have always considered you as a daughter. I have a lot of love for you Barbara. But the past is the past. We need now to take care of your future."
Aia returned and Jonas drank the water. His throat was parched from all he had told Barbara but he wished he could have done it sooner. Now that she knew everything, he felt lighter.
"Jonas," said Barbara, "can you take me to her grave? Where is she buried?"
"It is behind the house, child. You have already been there. Don't you remember? We can go now, if you wish." She nodded her head in silence.
So they went. On the way, they rode by a flower stand and Barbara asked them to stop the carriage. She bought a bouquet of flowers for her mother. She had so many emotions for this woman whom she had never truly met in the short time they were together. At first, she hated her, a woman who abandoned her own child in exchange for a few pennies, but now she thought of her with affection. "Poor woman," thought Barbara, "she suffered so much and it seems as if her bloodline is carrying the burden of this curse too."
When they reached Jonas' modest house, he took her to the back. There lay her grave, well-tended and protected with stones. Her name was carved into a wooden cross and a vase of flowers stood in front of it. Barbara removed the withered flowers from the vase and put the fresh ones in.
"Why did you bury her here Jonas?" said Barbara, "shouldn't you have buried her in a church?"
"I couldn't bear to be away from her. I thought it would be better if she stayed here. That way, I could continue taking care of her, as I have done until now. I also believe she is still taking care of me.
I wish she were still alive to be able to see you. She loved you so very much. I always think of her at night when I sit down alone for dinner, the conversations we used to have. I remember her laugh and sometimes find myself smiling. Poor Dalila, she didn't deserve anything that destiny had in store for her and she never found anything out about her parents. She remembered them but we didn't have enough money to go searching for them. There must be a family somewhere out there that was devastated by her disappearance. I can't imagine anything more painful, not knowing if your child is dead or alive? I will have to suffer my own pain now, the pain of losing you when you go. Even if we don't see each other as much as I'd like, I have always felt comfort in knowing you were close but when you leave this place to never return, when I lose the last remembrance of your mother, the pain will be great. I know you plan to rid yourself of your father, and I don't blame you. I can assure you one thing - if the Archbishop doesn't get him, I'll kill him myself. His crime cannot go unpunished," stated Jonas.
"But if you don't plan to run away with him, how would you do that? How will you make a living? Do you plan to steal from him?" said Barbara.
"I want nothing from that swine. Since Dalila would not take the money, I kept it and gave it to Aia's family. I became Teo's partner in the tavern and added to the amount from a few savings I had set aside over the years. We can live off the money we make there, should I decide to stay here," explained Jonas.
Barbara knelt in front of her mother's grave and prayed for her soul to rest in pea
ce. She asked her not to worry about her destiny. She would take good care of herself.
"We had better go. Leonardo might have sent someone to the vineyard to find us or to keep an eye on us," said Jonas.
All three left in silence. Leonardo was already there, concerned about their delay, as predicted by Jonas.
"What happened? I thought you would have arrived before me." He rushed over to Barbara and noticed that she was overwrought and had been crying.
"What happened? Have you been crying, Barbara? For what reason?"
Jonas moved between them and told Leonardo she had asked to go to the church to pray for her mother and visit her grave, Leonardo's deceased wife, and this had caused her to become overly emotional.
"Yes father," said Barbara, moving away from Leonardo, "I am starting to say my good-byes to my dear loved ones, even those who no longer walk among us."
"Let it be, Barbara, let's look at the vineyard and the work that is being done. That will lift your spirits. Let's pick the grapes from the vines we grow for eating. That always makes you happy."
He put his arm around her as they moved forward but Leonardo's touch disgusted Barbara, especially now. "Old pig, he thinks I am his whore, his prostitute."
When they neared the vine, Leonardo asked a worker for his knife and cut down a cluster of grapes for Barbara. She ate one and her mind seemed to clear with the rush of sugar they provided.
"When will I leave?" asked Barbara.
"No later than next week so start getting your trunks packed. Jonas will go with you to Lisbon," replied Leonardo.
They continued walking and watching the workers of the vineyard. Barbara still held the grapes in her hand. She ate them slowly as if she was saying her good-byes to them also. They were very sweet and juicy, different from those used to make wine.
"I will miss these grapes more than anything else on this land," she said.
12. Preparations
Barbara closed the last trunk in the room with the help of a teary-eyed Aia. The day of departure had arrived. They would never see each other again. The separation would be very painful for both, even more so because in the last week they had shared their innermost thoughts.
One late afternoon while Barbara and Leonardo sat alone in one of the rooms, a few days after having returned from their walk in the vineyard, she asked for permission to leave the dining table. When she turned, Leonardo approached her rapidly from behind and grabbed her by the waist, rubbing himself against her buttocks and lifting the back of her dress. He squeezed her breast with one hand while with the other he tried to grope her private parts. He bit her ear and whispered obscenities into her ear. Barbara turned her gaze towards the table where a knife lay within reach of her hand. She stared at it, her fingers began to tremble and she thought of grabbing it and plunging it into Leonardo's right thigh. She imagined him screaming and clutching his leg. She would not let go of the handle. When he moved away from her, the blade would slip out of his leg but it would still be in her hand. She would then plunge it into his chest and would only release it when he fell down dead. However, when her fingers actually made contact with the blade, she pulled them back and walked over to close the door and windows of the room. This gave her the time she needed to regain her sanity and get a grip on her emotions.
A minute later and he was back behind her. Her thoughts went back to the knife.
She began thinking of how pleasing it would be to watch his life seep out of his disgusting body and she would cover his eyes with spit and fill his ears with curses. Her hand trembled again, the knife glittered in the lamplight. She again thought of reaching for it but again managed to hold back.
"No, it will not be me taking his life. That pleasure will have to be given to someone else."
While she was deep in thought, Leonardo groaned like a pig going to slaughter and soiled her dress. The hot liquid dripped down the inside of her thighs. She put aside her thoughts of revenge and quickly left the room, without looking back, to wash herself. She had to remove the filth he had left on her as quickly as possible. The dripping liquid seemed to burn her legs, all her senses were concentrated on it and all she could feel was its slow progress down her leg, making her tremble with disgust.
After that day, Barbara demanded that Aia sleep with her every night claiming that she needed to enjoy her company as much as she could before the departure. She made Leonardo promise to keep Aia until he left and to give her enough money to ensure a good marriage in the future.
She did actually want to spend as much time as possible with Aia, to hear more details about her past, to plan with her the next stages and their futures and to keep Leonardo as far away as possible. Her hate had reached new heights. She now redoubled her efforts to make their relationship look normal. She didn't want him to have any suspicions. Despite his annoyance, Leonardo, who had planned to have Barbara every night before her departure, allowed Aia to stay with her. He knew he asked too much of his daughter so in the final days he accepted the imposition made by her. He would miss the intimate contact but they would be together soon. A few months and they would be together again. His routine with her would carry on and would be made formal with the disappearance of her future husband and their marriage. He would finally be able to possess that which was his long ago. He was tired of having to hide their relationship. He might have made the same decision if the archbishop had not been around. He would have carried it out either way.
The time to end all the pain was getting closer for Barbara. Despite her feelings of loss and anxiety for leaving behind everything she knew, she was eager for her life of mental and physical suffering to come to an end. When she walked out the door she would never again have to look into the eyes of the devil who had tortured her for years.
Most of her trunks were packed into the carriage. She was to follow with Jonas in a sedan chair until they reached Lisbon. Two guards would accompany them, one on horseback and one walking.
During the interval between the visit to the vineyard and the departure, Barbara's manipulation of Archbishop Torres became more direct. She sent him a message asking him to meet her at the Central Church and she never showed up. The intention was to unnerve him. He then tried to contact her but was informed repeatedly that she could not receive him or anyone else for two weeks. These were the orders of Leonardo. Barbara avoided leaving the house during this time because she suspected that one of his agents might be watching the house or that he himself was keeping a watchful eye waiting for the right moment to approach her.
Many different scenarios were going through the archbishop's mind. "She may be ill. No, it must be something more serious," Torres thought. "Maybe Leonardo has found out about Barbara and I. Maybe the wretch is keeping her captive for this reason. Maybe he has beaten her and because she is battered, she does not want to be seen in public."
Barbara had told him that her father had been violent before with her, inflicting physical pain because of her love for Torres. Torres was getting more and more desperate.
He resigned himself, however, to the situation because he could do nothing until he spoke to Barbara. Only then would he be able to run his fingers through her hair and kiss her lips. These impure thoughts dominated the archbishop's mind, impure for a man in his position, but desire was desire, there was no way to ignore them when such thoughts emerged and he was haunted. He recalled very clearly the intimate moments they had shared together, in the main church, as well as at the time when he was her professor.
One part of Leonardo's assets had been converted into English and French coins. He had also acquired diamonds from a Jewish merchant. They were more valuable, were easier to hide and had greater liquidity. They were given to Barbara in a small leather satchel tied to a belt and worn under her garments. As for the rest, Leonardo would take it with him so he could finance his own escape. But most of the fortune was to be taken by Barbara.
Jonas managed to convince Leonardo that it would not be a good idea
to go with him. There was little time to sell the vineyard, as well as the house, before Leonardo's escape and, according to Jonas, it would be better to sell them instead of leaving them abandoned. They then decided to transfer the land and the house to Jonas' name. He would continue with the wine business until a buyer came along. When the sale was concluded, he would follow Leonardo and Barbara. This was the decision and they followed through with it.
Jonas went to Barbara's room to summon her and to pick up her remaining trunks. The litter was ready and waiting.
"It is time to go, child!" said Jonas.
"I will finally be free of this brute. Aia, do not cry. Do what I told you to do with the diamonds I gave you and disappear forever from this house. I don't doubt the fiend will turn against you, now that I am no longer here," said Barbara.
"Do you think he would be bold enough to do that? I'll kill him if he tries!" said Jonas.
"In any way, your mission here has come to an end," stated Jonas. "Wait a few more days and say your mother is ill and needs your help and now that Barbara has gone you wish to tend to her," explained Jonas.
"I will do what you say. I will think of you often Miss and the times we spent together."
"Miss, no," corrected Barbara, "sister." "You have no idea how much you helped me in these last few days. I regret that you cannot come with me but such is life. Now you must get on with yours, find a husband that respects you and give him children. As for me, I need yet to discover my destiny and plan the rest of my life. I am not completely free because I have to keep up the pretense of marriage. After that, I will see what I need to do."
Both girls embraced, crying. A while later Jonas carried down the luggage, followed by the girls.
Leonardo was standing in front of the litter. He hugged her and kissed her cheek as a father would do to a daughter. She pretended the tears she was shedding for the home and for Aia were for him.