When my feet touched the ground, I pushed away. That moment had been too intense and I needed some space. It was one thing to be friends, but another to start touching again. I couldn’t open myself up like that.
* * *
Drew
I saw it in her eyes. Wariness. It was the way they narrowed, darkened. Instead of being the color of a sunny blue sky they were like an ocean during a storm. Then she wrapped her arms around herself, ducking her head. I’d gotten carried away, picking her up like that. We’d only just declared a truce. “Want to walk around the campus?”
She shook her head. “No, we’ll go after. Let’s get back so you’re not late.”
I shrugged but I followed her as she started back. The gardens weren’t quite as magical on the walk back as they had been on the way to Simmons and the conversation had dried up. I couldn’t stand the silence any more as I touched her arm. “You’re still mad at me.”
“I’m not.” She shook her head. “I promise. And, we have to entire car ride home to talk about it.” Then she gave me a soft smile. “Want to air guitar for the rest of the walk?”
It made me laugh. Air guitar? Yeah right. Guys who played didn’t ever pretend. And her joke lightened the mood, made me feel less tense. Man, she knew how to put me at ease.
When we got back to the car, three guys stood outside the brownstone. One of them carried a base.
“Hey,” he called. “You Drew?”
“Yep,” I replied. “You from Echo Stream?”
“Yeah, man. Cool ride,” another guy said but his eyes weren’t on the car, they were on Chloe as she popped the trunk where I’d stashed my guitar. She didn’t see him looking at her, but I did.
“Thanks,” she chirped in her usual happy tone.
I knew Chloe and I were on tentative terms but as I grabbed for my case, I put my arm at her back and kissed her temple. No more playing from a position of jealousy. I was going on the offense and letting this guy know to back off. It was a risky move after the park but something had clicked. I liked her. Actually, l loved her. It was time I laid everything on the table. Because pretending to be friends wouldn’t work and no matter what she decided, it was time I gave it my all.
She quirked a brow at me as we straightened. I gave a little shrug. “You look beautiful,” I whispered.
Her smile was soft. “You’re going to kill this.”
Right. I had to focus on the band. What was more, I had to trust Chloe that she valued me, at least as a friend, and not let jealousy get in the way of my tryout, but more importantly, our friendship.
Chloe and I crossed the street and I kept my arm around her waist. She didn’t say anything, nor did she pull away, but she wasn’t exactly leaning into me. That was fine. I’d take the compromise.
“Drew,” one of the guys stepped forward. “We talked on the phone. I’m Derek.” He stuck out his hand and I finally unlaced mine from around Chloe’s waist to shake his. He had spiked dark hair and ripped jeans. I liked his vibe already.
“This is Seth,” he pointed to the guy who’d had his eyes all over Chloe. “Our bassist. And Doug is our drummer.”
I nodded to each of them.
“This is Chloe.” My hand slipped back around her waist.
She cleared her throat. “Nice to meet you.”
“Are you a musician too?” Derek asked, giving her the once over. “You’d have great stage presence.”
I tried not to frown but the corners of my lips turned down. What he meant was she would look hot.
“Not really. I just provided the ride.” She winked and they all laughed like she’d said the funniest thing ever.
But Chloe was selling herself short. And, much as I was jealous of their attention, she deserved some for her singing. “Chlo’s an amazing singer.” My hand slipped back around her waist and gave it a little squeeze. She turned to me, her eyes growing wide.
I knew what would happen. They’d hear her and, if they weren’t crushing on her already, they would be. A hotter than hell blonde with a serious set of pipes was every band’s dream. Much as it pained me, I had to stop getting angry every time a guy paid attention to her. It wasn’t that I had one of those jealous personalities. After Sarah, I just didn’t trust a girl to not ditch me for a better deal. But Chloe wasn’t like that. I knew she wasn’t and it was time to start acting like it.
“Really?” Derek’s grin widened. “You have to jam with us too.”
Chloe gave a shrug. “Maybe. This is Drew’s gig, not mine.”
Man, in that moment, I realized, I was one lucky guy. She’d just had her opportunity. To make this about her, to gain attention from some other guys, but she hadn’t. She was going to stay on the sidelines and let me shine. Not very many people would give up that kind of attention for someone else.
Actually, she’d cancelled a date with Alex when she’d realized she didn’t feel that way about him. Chloe was a straight shooter and I should have trusted her a long time ago.
Which made me even more of a jerk. I hadn’t trusted her even after she’d clearly said she didn’t have feelings for Alex. I had some serious making up to do.
I wasn’t sure how yet, but I would make it up to her. Because Chloe wasn’t like that. She wouldn’t dump me for some vacation attention. She was honest and caring.
“Want to get started?” I asked, attempting to pull Chloe just a little closer. Truthfully, I didn’t want to try out at all. I wanted to take Chloe somewhere private and tell her how sorry I was. Promise to be better. Tell her that I loved her and I would never hurt her again.
“Let’s do it.” Derek grinned.
We moved into the brownstone, which smelled a little like stale beer but looked like it had once been an amazing mansion. Heading up a flight of curved stairs, we turned to the left and found an amazing old ballroom. The band had set up their equipment at one end.
The room was lined with a wall of windows, each with its own balcony. The entire room overlooked the park.
“This place is amazing,” Chloe murmured.
Seth wiggled his eyebrows. My eyes narrowed. “I know, right? School bought it a hundred years ago and they use it for dorms. Crazy.”
They showed me to an amp I could plug into and everyone began tuning their instruments. Chloe found a chair at the other end perched on the edge, watching us warm up. I forgot to be nervous as I looked at her sitting there.
“Ready?” Derek looked over at me and I nodded.
“All right. Why don’t you start by playing something for us?”
I looked down at Chloe and she winked at me. That was all I needed and I launched into a Jimmy Hendrix song. I didn’t look at the guys. In this moment I didn’t care if they approved or didn’t. I only really cared about Chloe. And her face was all the affirmation I needed.
As I finished, Seth let out a whoop. “That rocked, man!”
From there we played a couple of the band’s songs and, I have to be honest, it felt effortless, blending with these guys.
“That was awesome.” Derek pumped his fist in the air.
“Thanks,” I scratched the top of my head, rubbing my fingers through my hair as I studied the floor.
Derek put his mike back in the stand. “We have to talk about it, of course, but guitarists like you are hard to find. How are you not in a band already?”
The other guys murmured in agreement and I looked over to Chloe. She beamed at me, giving me a double thumbs up.
“My band and I split when I went off to college. I’ve been looking for a new one.”
“Lucky us,” Derek said and then cleared his throat as he looked across the room. “So what do you say, Chloe? You gonna grace us with a song?”
The jealousy prickled along my skin but I took a deep breath. I had to trust her. There was no other way. “You should, Chlo.”
She looked at me uncertainly but slowly stood. “I haven’t practiced any of your songs.”
“You pick,” Seth said quickly. “
But pick something cool.”
Her eyebrows went up. “No pressure.”
They all laughed again and my shoulders slumped. She looked amazing standing there with her windblown curls and little tank top. I knew all these guys were thinking the same. But this time was different because I was going to trust her.
She tapped her chin with one finger as she looked that the ceiling. A mischievous smile curved up one side of her mouth. “I’ve got it. How about some Janis Joplin?”
“Nice,” Seth yelled.
“Piece of my Heart,” she said as she stepped up to the mic. My heart dropped to my stomach. What did that song mean?
It was heavy on the guitar. I loved seventies music, she knew that. Was the song meant for me? I wanted to believe she willing to give me a piece of her heart but I couldn’t think any more about it as the music kicked up.
But as she started to sing, it’s like her voice went straight through me. I was shaking as I played and when she sang, the chorus the lyrics cut straight through me. Was she offering my another chance? I saw her look at me out of the corner of her eye.
I swear, I almost dropped the guitar, left it, and carried her out of this place. I didn’t have any plan about where we would go or what we would do. I just wanted to be with her. Really be with her.
But as she sang about her heart breaking, she hit every word. Her voice bounced through me like a bowling ball knocking down pins. Was I breaking her heart?
The strains of the music finally died and no one said a word.
Chloe giggled nervously into the mic. “That bad?”
“No,” Derek shifted. “You’re awesome. I mean really good. You’re not coming here next year are you?”
“No,” Chloe put the mic back, shaking her head quickly. “I’m going to Simmons for--”
“You’ll be close,” Seth cut her off. “You have to jam with us again.”
Chloe shrugged looking over at me. But her gaze kept dropping to the floor as a blush stained her cheeks. “Maybe.”
I set down my guitar in its case and walked over to where she stood, lacing my fingers through hers. “You definitely should.” I may or may not be in the band. And maybe these guys were just asking because they wanted to hit on her. But she deserved the attention. I wouldn’t get angry anymore, somehow that had melted away. Was she really inviting me to try for her heart again? God, I hoped so.
Chapter Fourteen
Chloe
I looked up at him and the softness of his face took my breath away. What had just happened?
I’m going to be honest. I’d almost sung Taylor Swift’s, “Why You Gotta be so Mean.” Much as I’d told myself I was over it in the car, when he’d spun me around in front of Simmons, I’d realized if I wasn’t careful, he could suck me right back in. But then when he’d kissed me in front of those guys? Honestly, I’d wanted him to. I wanted to take a chance and start all over with him. It was crazy but there it was.
I wasn’t, however, going to be a pushover. It was time we talked about a few things, for real. If he didn’t feel about me the way I did about him then I was just going to get hurt again. It was time for some honesty.
We hung out with the guys for another hour and then left to tour Simmons. “So,” I gave him a little punch on the arm. “How did it go?”
He gave me that grin, the one that made me melt. “I think really well.” Then he pulled down his sunglasses and winked at me. “But I think they’d rather hire you.”
Heat filled my cheeks that had nothing to do with the sun. “Stop,” I murmured, my hands stuffing into my pockets as I looked at the ground. The guys did seem to like me but somehow discussing it felt a lot like our previous discussions about Alex.
“You know you’re gorgeous, right?” He reached for my hand and pulled it out of my pocket, holding it in his.
“Don’t say that,” I pulled my hand away. I did want Drew. I knew that now, but not if we were just going to repeat what had happened yesterday. Unlike Janis Joplin I wasn’t going to get my heart broken over and over.
He winced. “I’ve got some explaining to do.”
I stopped walking. “Maybe we both do.”
It was his turn to stuff his hands in his pockets. “I know a great place to talk it out.” Then he grabbed my hand again and started pulling me toward the train station.
It took nearly an hour but I found myself stuffed into a booth in the North End, Boston’s Little Italy. The seat was cracked and worn but the smells from the kitchen were divine and the dark wood paneling made it feel intimate and cozy. We were tucked in a corner and the sides of the booth were so high, we were completely sheltered.
We ordered some sodas and then I got lasagna and Drew ordered up carbonara. As we sat sipping our drinks, I couldn’t help but fiddle with my straw. We’d waited to talk until we got here and now silence filled the space between us.
“So,” I finally said. “I guess I’ll start.” I cleared my throat. I had no idea where to begin, actually. He’d apologized for kissing me but that didn’t make me feel any better, nor did I know where we stood. Or why he had done it. Did he want to be friends? Was he teasing me?
“Don’t start,” he said it so low that my gaze left my straw and met his. “I want to kiss you.” He leaned in closer. “Tell me that it’s all right?”
I caught my breath. Was this a smart choice? I doubted it. He was so close and I leaned even closer. I didn’t want to think, I wanted to feel. “Okay.”
As his lips touched mine, my entire body tingled with excitement. It was even better than I remembered. This time, I knew who it was and I knew that Drew was more exciting than any guy I’d ever met. He kissed me over and over until my head was swimming.
The swinging of the kitchen door finally broke the kiss and we stopped just in time. We parted, just as the waiter came around the corner with two steaming plates of food.
The amazing smell of garlic and cheese filled my nostrils but my eyes wouldn’t leave Drew’s lips. I wanted him to kiss me again. And again. Who cared about food?
His hand reached for mine under the table. “That was amazing.”
It was amazing. We ate our food and left, stopping by Government Center where he bought flowers for me. No guy had ever given me flowers before. Which made sense since no guy had ever kissed me before either.
As I looked down at the gardenias and lilies, I couldn’t help but wonder what it all meant.
“Thank you,” I gave Drew a smile as he led me back toward the T.
He kissed me again, in the middle of the street in the middle of Boston. “You’re welcome.”
“Does this mean that we’re making kissing a regular thing?” I couldn’t hold back any more.
He blinked down at me. “Do you want to make it a regular thing?”
Did I? “That depends.” I squared my shoulders. “Why did you kiss me the other night?”
“Why?” Drew had led me down into the nearly deserted train station. The air was cool but I could actually see a little pink in his cheeks. I’d never seen him blush before. What did that mean?
“Was it another joke? Were you teasing me?” As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted them. It had been one thing to think it but another to say it out loud. I’d accused him of deception but this was more specific and somehow, as soon as I said the words, they sounded so wrong.
His face went from pink to pale. “You think I’d kiss you to tease you?”
I shrugged. I couldn’t back down now and so I puffed out my chest. “You have publicly humiliated me on more than one occasion.”
His mouth hung open and just as he was about to answer the train pulled up. With his hand at my back we climbed in and took a seat but he didn’t say a word for the half hour it took to get back to my card. Not. One. Word.
I had completely messed this up.
* * *
Drew
She thought I’d played some giant practical joke on her. I ran my hand through my hair. This wa
s for real? Because it felt like a dream.
Except for the part where my stomach ached like someone had kicked me. That felt disgustingly real.
I know I’d teased her, but really? She’d thought I’d toy with her emotions like that?
We got back to her car and I held out my hand for the keys. I’d heard her start to sniffle, and though I hadn’t looked at her, I knew she was in no shape to drive.
She handed them over and I finally looked at her face. It was red and puffy as though she’d been crying for a while.
I winced and opened the passenger door for her to climb in. But I still didn’t say anything, because what she’d said, that hurt.
It dug way down deep. I know I could push people away but I wasn’t mean. Which was why I had to stay silent. I needed some time before I could respond.
We got on the highway and I just started driving. It had gotten late and the day was cooling off. I pushed the gas pedal a little faster, wanting to get back to camp.
“Are you going to talk to me?” Chloe asked. “It’s been almost two hours.”
“It was a lousy thing to say,” I snapped. Then I took a breath. “I shouldn’t have kissed you without asking. I know that. But to think I was playing a prank on you? Sarah hurt me when she broke it off to party with some piece of Eurotrash. But you? Did you actually think I would be so mean?” I ran my hand through my hair. “What is so wrong with me that girls don’t take me seriously?”
Chloe gasped. “I’ve been wondering what’s wrong with me that you teased me so much.”
And there we were. We’d now officially hurt each other’s feelings.
“I teased you last summer,” I started. “Which was a crappy thing to do, by the way, because I didn’t know how to handle my jealousy over Alex.”
She made a choking sound. “What?”
“I was jealous of your feelings for Alex and sure I wasn’t worth your affection.” An exit was coming up and I honestly was tired of talking without looking at her. So I pulled off the highway and into the parking lot of a Day’s Inn. It was the first place off the highway we came to. “I know it’s not a very good reason but I didn’t know how to handle my feelings for you while you were so obviously into him. I should never have teased you like that but I would never be cruel enough to kiss you just to embarrass you.”
Camp Crush: Accidental Kisses Page 10