by Lynne Graham
That it might not be that clear-cut a question became clear during the subsequent days. Panos phoned her from the yacht to ask her to transfer some computer files that were required.
‘Not that I really think we’re likely to need them with the boss otherwise occupied,’ her colleague groaned.
‘What’s he occupied with?’ Billie prompted as her fingers flew nimbly over the keyboard while she searched out the requested files.
‘Not what, who,’ Panos corrected wryly. ‘There’s a new, demanding lady on board Sea Queen and all of a sudden business is taking a back seat. We won’t be back tomorrow. The cruise is being extended.’
In response to that announcement, Billie’s heart started thumping very, very fast, her skin turning clammy. Of course she had guessed that Alexei would soon find a new woman but the reality of it actually happening hurt like hell. In fact she felt as if someone had knocked her chair over and sent her to the floor with a bone-jolting crash. ‘Who is she?’
‘An old flame, but one from well before my time—tall and blonde, with the looks of a supermodel…Calisto Bethune, recently divorced,’ her colleague supplied.
Already winded by that metaphorical crash, now Billie felt as if she were being brutally kicked. She recognised that name, recalled the gossip. Calisto was possibly the only woman alive who had ever passed over Alexei in favour of another man and now it seemed she had returned to take a second bite from the same apple. Gripped by an awful obsessive need to know more, Billie got busy on the Internet and checked out Calisto. Now the childless ex-wife of a Swiss electronics tycoon, she was truly gorgeous, with a perfect face and a perfect body and a similar heritage to Alexei’s own as she was from the upper echelons of Greek society.
Back on Speros that night, Billie phoned her aunt, Hilary, in the UK and talked until she was hoarse about what she had done and how it had all gone hideously wrong. As the sad tale unfolded Hilary made sympathetic sounds and exclamations that allowed Billie to feel that she was no longer quite as alone as she felt.
‘I’ve been worrying about something like this happening for a long time,’ her aunt confessed ruefully. ‘You’re in love with Alexei Drakos and were probably putting out encouraging signals. An opportunistic male like him was certain to take advantage at some stage and the night of the funeral was a given…’
‘I just wanted to be there for him…’
‘Well, don’t be too tough on yourself. Plenty of women have dreamt that same dream as you.’ Hilary sighed with something less than tact. ‘But what’s done is done. Now you need to decide what you want to do and you have to spell out what happened that night to Alexei. Embarrassment shouldn’t come into it. You and that baby you’re carrying need support.’
But in the days that followed, nausea began to surface when a certain smell or taste made Billie’s newly sensitive tummy roll and sent her rushing to the cloakroom. She came no closer to the answer of what to do next: to try to make such a revelation to Alexei on the phone struck her as out of the question, but the prospect of flying out to the yacht to break such news with his latest lady in residence seemed even more inappropriate. Increasingly, references to Calisto Bethune began to appear in the gossip columns and were soon accompanied by photos of what was referred to as the ‘loved-up couple’. Billie saw a photo of Alexei and Calisto walking hand in hand, both of them tall, beautiful and coolly fashionable, and she thought sickly that the pair looked so well together that they might have been a match made in heaven.
Barely twenty-four hours after Billie had pored with agonised eyes over that picture, wondering if she had ever seen Alexei look so relaxed, he returned to the villa, having flown himself home in a helicopter. He strode into the office, black hair tousled by the breeze, his lean, dark, devastating face intent. There she was at her desk, her bright head inclined to her computer monitor, and as she glanced up, emerald-green eyes flying wide with surprise, a faint flush of pink warmed her porcelain skin. One look and she was metaphorically on her knees, desire quivering through her slight body in a guilty surge of awareness, heat bursting at the heart of her while her breasts swelled in response to the incitement of his presence.
‘I didn’t intend to stay away so long. I confess that I didn’t want to come back to an empty house,’ Alexei admitted abruptly. ‘There are too many memories here.’
‘Yes, of course there are,’ Billie agreed in Greek, chiding herself for not making that same deduction from his unusually long absence; it had to be a challenge for him to walk into what had been so much his parents’ home and relive their absence all over again. ‘But concentrate on the good times.’
Alexei studied her with shrewd dark eyes, acknowledging that he had missed that bright, optimistic spirit of hers that refused to acknowledge negative outcomes. He was equally quick to recall their less than positive parting. ‘I was too hard on you at our last meeting. You meant no harm.’
Her heartbeat thudding like a heavy pulse at the foot of her throat, Billie stood up. ‘No, I was out of line,’ she said awkwardly.
Alexei could feel the wall of cool withdrawal in her and wondered what was wrong. She didn’t hold onto spite—at least she never had before. Her candour and relaxation around him were qualities he cherished and rare indeed among the women he met and worked with. Yet, for all the fact that she looked unexpectedly small and fragile, her eyes were evasive, her stance unnaturally stiff and her voice expressionless.
‘You’re almost as close to me as a relative, so why shouldn’t you be the first to know? I believe I’ve met the woman I might marry,’ he told her with a sudden shimmering smile of satisfaction.
It was a body blow and the shock was so great that Billie did not know how her trembling legs contrived to keep her upright. For so long she had deemed Alexei unobtainable with the wild free spirit of a male who might never want to settle down. Yet what could be more natural than that, having lost his family, he should be set on creating a new one to fill the void in his life? She had to force her gaze to remain on him. Exotic high cheekbones sun-burnished, dark black-lashed eyes bright as bronze, he had never looked more gorgeous. Or more out of reach. He hadn’t just moved on, he had jumped ship into a new galaxy.
Marriage? He was planning to marry Calisto Bethune? Her semi-prepared opening speech about the accident by the pool and the prior episode in the guest suite was just blown out of the water by that declaration. She tried to be happy for him, she tried so hard, for what could be healthier than his new desire to commit to a single relationship? But there was a silent scream of pain and rejection inside her that would not be silenced. She carried his baby in her womb and, whether she had the right or otherwise, it was an agony for her to appreciate that he had had another woman in his bed and that he had fallen in love with her. Sex she thought she could bear because she was accustomed to bearing that knowledge from the sidelines of his life, but the concept of him loving one of his female entourage was more than she could stand.
‘Congratulations.’ Billie was pale as milk and she spoke with a fixed smile while she fought with all her might to conceal and dampen her true feelings of bitter jealousy and resentment. ‘I assume you’re talking about Calisto Bethune. I’m very happy for you both. Have you set a date?’
Alexei released a husky laugh and spread his hands in an immediate silencing motion. ‘I’m not moving quite that fast, Billie. We’re back together and that happened quickly enough. That is more than sufficient for the moment.’
Billie breathed again at that evidence of native caution while he went about giving her instructions for the party he wanted organised to officially introduce Calisto to his family. With her dark auburn head bent, she took rapid notes from Alexei while he stood by her desk. The aroma of the peachy scent he always associated with her assailed his nostrils. He thought it was soap or shampoo, rather than perfume, and he had always liked it. He found himself gazing down at the pale crescent of skin exposed at the nape of her neck. That little bit of bare skin exuded
an oddly erotic appeal. For a split second he was tempted to bend down and press his mouth to that delicate fine-grained flesh that never took any colour from the sun. The urge made him tense in surprise and frown.
Straightening, he strode over to the French windows overlooking the flower bedecked terrace and superb gardens beyond the glass. There was a heaviness at his groin, a ready sexual urgency that startled him. Was it simply a reaction against the relationship he had recently revived? Too much familiarity and proximity could breed more than contempt, he acknowledged wryly. What had come over him? It was a source of pride to him that, with the exception of one weak and curious moment when he’d kissed her, he had never hit on Billie. He was fond of her, had always been fond of her, and he looked out for her much as though she were one of his youthful cousins. There was an innocence about Billie that he had always cherished.
Long after he had gone, Billie sat there wondering what theme the caterers would dream up for the Drakos family bash. It was to take place in London. She would ask if she could take that weekend off to see Hilary. Alexei would definitely not want her baby now and that conviction cut through her like a knife, sending a shard of pure panic travelling through her. The timing of her conception could not have been worse; it might wreck his romance if Calisto realised that she would not be the mother of his firstborn child.
Did that mean that she should keep quiet? Could she rise above her jealousy enough to let Alexei and Calisto continue to enjoy their happiness in finding each other again? She knew she wasn’t prepared to have an abortion. That option had been discarded early on, even though she had not yet admitted it to Hilary, who had become the safe repository for most of Billie’s turbulent thoughts and feelings. But surely her only other choice was to give up her child for adoption? That was another painful sacrifice she could not face. After all, she might not be able to have Alexei, but she could have his child.
And if he had no memory of sharing her bed, he would have no suspicion that he had fathered her baby. On the other hand, she reflected ruefully, he would be so shocked by her having a child out of wedlock that he would not rest until she had told him who the father was. He might have accused her of overstepping the line but, in truth, it had always been Alexei who was most inclined to interfere in her private life. Furthermore, if she wanted to keep her baby, how was she to afford to do so?
She earned a terrific salary, but she had poured every cent she earned into the building of her house, the price of that project far exceeding the original estimates. For the next year her earnings were committed to completing the house, which would be ready for occupation in six months’ time. A house she could never sell except at a bargain price, for all island property had to be offered to the locals first and it would be too expensive for most of them to consider. With single parenthood staring her in the face she could not afford to write off or sell her only asset at a huge loss, particularly when Alexei’s generous gift of that plot of land with panoramic sea views had to be reflected in ensuring he received a fair percentage share of any sale.
In short, Billie appreciated she was financially trapped on the island of Speros for the foreseeable future. She could not jack in her job either while she needed to settle the bills for the house. Her dream house, she reflected painfully, had suddenly become a burden, an anchor tying her to a place and a job that she now wanted to leave. After all, how could she stand by and watch while Alexei romanced and married his long-lost first love? Getting ready for bed that evening, she studied her still-flat stomach with anxiety and wondered how much time she had before her condition became obvious.
Hilary was not impressed by her niece’s arguments against making Alexei aware of her pregnancy. ‘So, he’s spoken for now, well, bully for him!’ she snorted the following night when Billie phoned for a chat. ‘But he still has a big responsibility towards you and any other woman he impregnates!’
‘Legally, yes, but I don’t want or need his support…’
‘Don’t be so proud that you cut off your nose to spite your face,’ Hilary pleaded. ‘It’s unfortunate that at this point he’s met another woman and it seems to be serious, but that is not your responsibility.’
‘He’s happy. I don’t want to wreck it,’ Billie confided heavily. ‘In addition, since he’s forgotten what happened that night, telling him and convincing him will be a very undignified battle…’
‘Even a Drakos can’t fight a DNA test,’ Hilary opined. ‘Perhaps it would be as well to wait until the baby is born before making a claim.’
‘I really don’t want his money, Hilary. I’m more concerned about finding a way to keep my baby and stay in my job.’
‘But how on earth could you do that and work at the same time? If you’re thinking of Lauren helping out, I don’t think—’
‘Of course I’m not—’
‘If only it was me that lived on the island and not my sister, the problem would be solved,’ Hilary commented. ‘I would love to look after your baby.’
‘Well, you could if you were willing to move out here. My new house has plenty of room. Of course you couldn’t leave John,’ Billie realised, referring to her uncle who was living in a care home where Hilary visited him almost every day.
‘John might not be here for much longer,’ her aunt divulged tautly. ‘He’s fading away before my eyes.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ Billie responded, having also refused to think about the near impossibility of concealing her baby’s parentage if she tried to raise her child on the island. ‘I was lost in this wonderful daydream of having you here on the spot, instead of thousands of miles away. I was being silly.’
‘No, if it wasn’t for John, I would agree like a shot. I would just love a fresh start, new faces, new possibilities…’ Hilary confided breathlessly.
The germ of an audacious idea came to Billie. ‘I think I know how we could do it and nobody would ever be able to guess that it was Alexei’s baby.’
And that was the moment that the plan of concealment was born, laid out at first to an unimpressed Hilary, who thought her niece was utterly crazy to suggest such a thing; there was no question of Hilary leaving her sick husband alone in the UK. ‘But who would ever believe that your baby was mine?’
‘Why not? You’re only thirty-eight. Nobody here but Lauren knows about John’s illness,’ Billie argued with growing enthusiasm. ‘And we wouldn’t have to live the lie for ever, Hilary. Once I’d saved enough money up, I’d sell the house and find another job and we would leave the island with the secret intact. But there would be no need to continue the pretence once we settled somewhere new—’
‘Even if I was ever in a position to help you, Lauren would know we were lying—’
‘I’m sure we could persuade Mum to keep quiet. Hilary, if it was possible—it would allow me to keep my baby without causing a big furore,’ Billie reasoned fiercely. ‘Please think it over and say yes.’
‘If it’s what you really want, I would do it simply because I love babies and I’d love to live on the island. But not while John is still alive. He may not recognise me most of the time when I visit,’ Hilary admitted painfully as she referred to her husband’s dementia, ‘but he does have occasional moments when he’s quite lucid. I know he hasn’t long left but let’s not talk about the impossible right now.’
‘No, let’s not,’ Billie said, guiltily aware of her insen-sitivity.
‘I don’t understand how you’re planning to hide the fact that you’re pregnant from Alexei,’ Hilary declared.
‘I’ll conceal it for as long as I can and then I’ll ask Alexei to give me a career break so that I can return to England to stay with you for a while. It’s a reasonable request.’
‘If you give birth here you could leave the baby with me to look after. I haven’t been able to find another permanent teaching job yet and I could manage fine,’ her aunt asserted. ‘It wouldn’t be easy for you to leave your child behind with me but I’d love him or her like my own.’
Billie slept right through that night for the first time since she had discovered that she was pregnant. In the dawn light she wakened and ran back over the plan, worrying over the weak spots while wincing over the idea of plunging both herself and her aunt into living a lie. No solution would be perfect or foolproof, she reasoned frantically, but one that ensured her child enjoyed loving care and security would definitely be worth bending a few rules for. She splayed her hand over the deceptive flatness of her stomach. She wanted to keep her baby; she wanted her unborn child very, very much. In the short term, if nobody was harmed by her concealing her secret, surely a few lies could be no great sin?
The next day, Damon Marios asked her to meet him at the site of her new house to discuss the terrace. She had hired him to not only design her new home, but also as project manager to supervise the building, ensuring that she endured minimal disruption to her life. In the slumberous heat of the afternoon, Billie drove up the rough gravelled lane and parked at the edge of the site beside Damon’s SUV, wondering how she would ever turn the baked-dry dustbowl of her surroundings into a garden.
‘I thought we’d have some lunch while we talked,’ Damon remarked, a smile on his handsome face as he indicated the picnic lunch already artfully arranged in the shade of a gnarled olive tree.