“Oh, honey.” I heard her voice crack as though she was trying not to cry. “I’m going to be truthful here—I’m still not sure if there’s a way to bring him back, but I’ll do everything I can to help. I’ll have some of the Guardians search through the library here to see if they can find anything.”
“I’m scared it’s too late as well. You didn’t see him. He’s so full of anger and all he talks about is what he wants to do with me.” My voice wobbled. “I just can’t give up.”
“I’m sorry. I know you’re terrified,” she repeated. “Just remember the Quinn you’re seeing isn’t the real him. Hold onto those powerful memories and use that as an anchor. No matter what happens, don’t let the charm deceive you.” She paused between sentences, weighing her words. “I’m scared for you, Brianna. I know Quinn loves you, but he’s not himself, especially if he’s talking about hurting you. I don’t want you putting yourself in danger like that. It may be better if you wait and see how everything unfolds. Leave him alone.”
“I can’t.” I knew she made sense, but I wanted him back.
“I know that too. Just agree you’ll take precautions. I don’t want to lose you either.”
“Okay, I promise.” I began tying happy memories of Quinn to my heart. With each one firmly in place, my strength and conviction grew—comforting me.
“So what are you going to do? I didn’t ask you what’s happening where you are.” It was hard having her on the other side of the world, especially now. I’d even contemplated moving to be with her when my mother died, but I’d met Quinn—taking away the loneliness.
“We’ve been getting reports from around the globe about similar situations like yours—people acting normal and then breaking out into violence. Sightings have been made of the General, which tells me he’s surveying the damage and evaluating how smoothly his plan is going.”
“He’s vile. I still can’t get his words out of my mind. They make my skin crawl. I don’t like that he’s gloating over the destruction he’s causing.” I shuddered slightly at the thought, when another one surfaced. “If Guardians exist, why weren’t they stopped?”
“We work hard at keeping them from crossing through the portal, but this caught us off guard. I need to send a message to your father and let him know what’s happening.” My heart sped up again at the mention of him.
“What’s he got to do with this?” I asked. When everything died down, maybe I could finally meet him—ask him all my questions.
“Honey, your father has everything to do with this.” Confusion gripped me. Everything hung on the answer to my next question.
“How?” I whispered, my eyes scrunched shut as I waited for the answer I suddenly knew was coming.
“Because he’s Fae as well.”
“But that would mean . . .” I couldn’t even bring myself to finish.
“That would mean you’re part Fae.”
Chapter Fourteen
“What does that mean, I’m part Fae?” I asked. It was one thing to find out I was a blend of different cultures—another to learn it was two species.
“It means your mother was human and your father is Fae,” she stated simply.
The revelation hit me like a bombshell. I was the result of a love affair my mother had with a supernatural creature. All those times I’d swooned over my romance novels, never realizing my life mirrored them. I didn’t know whether to shake my head in disbelief or sigh over how romantic it sounded. A Fae had swooped in and fell in love with my mother . . . it boggled my mind.
“I’m part Fae,” I said, still stunned, testing out how it sounded. “Wow, Grandma. Just wow. Wait … does that mean vampires and werewolves are real?”
She burst into laughter, easing some of the tension. “Oh Brianna, you’re priceless. No honey, there are no monsters so you can put away your cross and silver bullets.”
I joined in with her. No matter what else she’d tell me I knew we’d be okay. The thought settled me.
“All joking aside, I understand this is a lot to digest. With everything unfolding so fast, there wasn’t time to do it properly. What can I do to help you?”
“I’m okay. You’re right, it would’ve been nice to find out differently, but I’m just grateful I know now. Growing up I always had some fancy idea about who my father was and why he wasn’t with us, but this? This wasn’t even a possibility.” I exhaled loudly, staring into my lap. “Can you tell me how they met at least? From what you’ve told me, I can’t see how they got together. Wouldn’t it be a “sleeping with the enemy” kind of thing? Taboo even?”
“Yes, it was taboo. It still is, and one of the reasons your parents wanted to keep it private. They figured if you ever found out, you would have a hard enough time dealing with it without hearing all the gossip and judgment that came with it. It’s the only thing I agreed with them on.”
“So why did she do it then, knowing it was frowned on? Wasn’t she worried she’d get into trouble?”
My grandmother let out a small laugh. “She did it for the same reason any young girl does—she fell in love.”
I shifted, trying to sit in a more comfortable position. Crossing my legs, I straightened my back and refocused on the importance of the moment—I was finally getting answers.
Like a dam cracking, the story of how my parents met flowed out from my grandmother. Determined not to interrupt until she was finished, I hung onto every syllable.
She began disclosing how tradition mandated parents teach their offspring Guardian ways and principles. From the time each child was old enough to understand, all lore and doctrines were explained—thoroughly demonstrated so the sacredness of their duty was deeply instilled. The hope was that the earlier practices were taught, the more fully the role was embraced. It was vital families carried on the important legacy.
“Your mother had proven to be a very quick study, accepting easily, ready to assume her responsibilities. There was never any doubt she would excel and rise up within the leadership ranks. She quickly earned the respect of her peers, which made the resulting situation all the more difficult because I never saw it coming.
“It wasn’t uncommon for your mother to patrol the portal for short periods of time because she continually showed she was trustworthy and capable. I thought it would be great training to give her a taste of what being a full-fledged Guardian was like. When she started asking for longer shifts, I failed to see any problem with the request and assigned her more hours. I was extremely proud of her and didn’t see it as anything other than her being conscientious.
“It was late one winter’s night and I’d finished completing the paperwork from my previous shift. Glancing around, I noticed how cold it’d become in the room and went into the kitchen for a warm drink. Your mother was out patrolling in the freezing temperature, so I decided to surprise her with a thermos of hot chocolate.
“It took roughly fifteen minutes to arrive at the Guardian post and everything appeared as it should. When I found the hut empty and your mother nowhere to be seen, I wasn’t overly concerned because it was a frequent practice to move about and make hourly inspections.
“Not wanting to wait, I dropped off her goodies and went searching—eventually finding your mother standing near the portal. I didn’t know what she was doing. I hurried over and was getting ready to call out when I noticed the portal shimmer, a glittery glow settling over it.
“I was so scared, Brianna. I had no idea what was happening and thought at any moment she’d be snatched, never to be seen again.
“I didn’t think. I sped toward your mother, intending to push her to safety when a Fae walked through the portal. He was so beautiful . . . it stopped me in my tracks. His eyes lit up at the sight of my daughter, his lips curled into a seductive smile.
“I don’t know who was more surprised—me or him? I think it was him based on the shocked expression he wore when he saw me there. His gaze flickered to your mother before he returned through the portal—disappear
ing.
“We simply stood there and when I finally addressed your mother, she also looked startled. It was her first time seeing a Fae also I assumed. I thought she was feeling the same way as me. After reporting the incident and congratulating her on how well she handled it, things went back to normal. No one saw the Fae again.”
I couldn’t help myself. “He was my father, wasn’t he? He was coming through to see her, but you showed up and he had no choice but to leave.” It was kind of romantic—two star-crossed lovers meeting in the darkness for a secret rendezvous.
“Yes. I later found out it was your father and that they continued meeting. You mother hid it from everyone . . . including me.” Hurt surfaced in my grandmother’s words and my heart broke for her. It all sounded tragic.
“Months passed and the strange encounter was cast aside. But one night I woke from a dead sleep, a dream warning me change was in the wind and I needed to prepare myself. I was used to receiving omens so it wasn’t too alarming. I always knew things before they happened.
“The foreboding was so persuasive, I couldn’t ignore it. I had to do something so I dressed and allowed the potent feeling to guide my footsteps. I found myself outside your mother’s apartment door and without thinking, I walked inside.
“There was that one moment of perfect clarity, Brianna. Right then I knew what the upcoming change was. Standing in the center of the room was my daughter and the mysterious Fae, exchanging heated kisses as their hands roamed over each other’s bodies. They were locked together in an embrace so passionate—it caused even me to blush.
”I was outraged. I couldn’t see anything beyond your mother’s deceit. I slammed the door and demanded she step away from him. I expected her to obey. She knew the rules. She’d been taught so I was floored when she formed a defensive stance in front of the Fae instead—as if ready to battle if needed. It was surreal.”
I’d seen my mother do the same when she was alive, the protective streak in her honorable. I smiled, imaging her standing tall, chin stuck out, her eyes flashing as a warning to whoever posed a threat. A sharp pang coursed through me, reminding me how much I missed her. Even though she’d been gone for three years, it didn’t make the loss any less real or diminished. Part of me wished I was having this conversation with her, but her death had been sudden. She’d run out of time for this confession.
My grandmother’s voice brought me back to the present. “I told her . . . move away from the Fae, Elizabeth, now!” There was still an angry edge to her voice, even after all these years. “But it was like looking at a stranger. She shook her head defiantly, and reached back for the man’s hand.”
“He remained silent, watching the events unfold as we went head to head in a battle of wills. I was so angry. I accused her of defiling her position as Guardian—said she’d brought great shame to not only herself, but also her family. On and on we argued, Elizabeth screaming she was in love and to hell with the Order. Finally I gave her an ultimatum—one that broke my heart. She either stopped seeing the enemy or she’d be exiled.
“It wasn’t my finest moment, and since then I’ve played that scene over and over in my mind, always coming up with a new way I could’ve handled it. All I could focus on was the kiss they’d shared and I never thought she’d choose him over the Order—let alone me.
“Shocked, your mother agreed and began gathering her belongings, angrily shoving the contents of her closet into the first bag she found. All the while I stood in silence—utterly betrayed and wondering where I’d gone wrong. The Fae also stood there, a pained expression on his face.
“She was soon ready and grabbing her lover’s hand again, pushed her way past me. Right before she walked out the door, she turned around with tears streaming down her cheeks. She told me she was sorry but she had to follow her heart.” My grandmother spoke softly.
“What did you say? Did you stop her?”
“I didn’t. I let her go, and I didn’t see her again for another five months.”
Chapter Fifteen
“I woke up to someone pounding loudly at my door. Worried something had happened within the Order, I was stunned to find the Fae again, gently carrying your mother. She looked so small and fragile in his arms and all the past hurt was instantly forgotten.”
“You keep calling him the Fae. Does my father have a name?”
“I was embarrassed when I realized I didn’t know it and as he stepped through the wooden frame into my home, he introduced himself as Loren.”
His name resounded in my mind and I softly repeated the word, interested in what it sounded like to say. It rolled off my tongue with ease, and I wondered whether his appearance matched it. I was about to ask what he looked like, but my grandmother hadn’t finished. I put the thought on hold. She was finally confiding in me, I didn’t want to give her any cause to stop.
“I was so shocked by your mother’s altered state,” she continued. “It was obvious something stressful had occurred, especially by the way she clung desperately to Loren. Her body shivered, like she was having mini convulsions, and the most pitiful whimpering emanated from her. Elizabeth’s eyes were closed and she seemed completely oblivious to what was going on. The last time I’d seen her, she’d looked so healthy and full of life. It was a heart wrenching sight.
“I demanded he tell me what he’d done, intuition dictating he was somehow responsible for her condition. I eventually dragged my gaze away from your mother and looked at him. I’ll never forget the haunted expression he gave me. With more tenderness than I’d ever seen before, he laid her down on my bed and gently caressed the side of her face. When he finally answered, his voice was strangled—hollow sounding. It was in that moment I knew he truly loved your mother.
“Moving to the window, he was strangely quiet as he peered out. Impatience warred within me, but I’d learned from my studies the Fae didn’t like to be rushed—they would speak their minds when they wanted. When he finally cleared this throat and began, my heart broke.
“Life hadn’t been as perfect as the couple had hoped—despite the newfound love they shared. Not caring about their differences, they threw themselves into the relationship without reserve and your mother followed him through the portal. She ignored the dangers that came with living in Faery—possible enslavement, insanity, intolerance, and cruelty.
“At first, things seemed idyllic, but soon the lifestyle Loren led caught up with them and it put an incredible burden on Elizabeth. I’d worried it would but she wouldn’t listen to me. Before they knew it, he was called away on Fae business and she was left alone with no support or other friendships.
“Because she was human and fearing what would happen, he’d kept her presence a secret from everyone. He never gave her a reason for it; simply stated it was the best way to keep her safe. Somehow, she’d still managed to uncover what her lover was doing—the amount of danger he was constantly placed in. Her fear of losing him began wearing her down.
“Apparently Loren worked within a small secret organization that monitored movement through the different portals, going from site to site investigating various reports. It was following up on information he’d received when he met your mother. At great risk, he started rendezvousing with her frequently until I caught them and exposed their affair.”
I imagined my mother sitting at home worried, never knowing whether the man she loved would return to her. I knew the feelings I had about Quinn and my fears I wouldn’t be able to save him. If her emotions were anything like mine, it was no wonder it affected her so strongly.
“So that’s what was wrong with Mom when you finally saw her again? It seems a little extreme for mere worry.”
“I studied my daughter lying still on the bed and anger took over. I walked straight over to Loren and banged my fists against his chest, demanding an explanation.” Her voice was filled with sorrow. “Brianna, I’ll never forget how guilty he looked when he finally admitted he was the sole reason his lover was affected.
> “With a voice teeming with deep emotion, he related the events of the evening. He’d been away for a few days—tightlipped about the specifics—confiding he’d been assigned to a task that could have grave consequences. It was imperative he remain careful about who knew of your mother’s existence. Based on what he was able to describe, she knew it must be extremely dangerous.
“The situation had become so risky, he’d returned home early. He wanted to reveal his concerns and suggest to Elizabeth he bring her back through the portal. It had become too dire for his liking, and he knew he couldn’t guarantee her safety any longer. He was prepared for a fight but didn’t receive one. Instead he found the door to their home kicked in—their sanctuary violated.
“After searching through the rooms, he finally found her hiding in their bedroom closet. She was hugging her knees as she rocked back and forth—her back rhythmically beating against the wall. Loren tried talking to her, but nothing broke through the protective wall she’d erected. Not knowing what else to do, he brought her home.”
I couldn’t speak, my mind reeling over what I was hearing. I tried to imagine what my grandmother was describing—the desperation and pain of my mother. The overwhelming need to keep the love of his life safe and knowing he’d failed.
My grandmother continued. “We went over every possible scenario, trying to find out what had pushed her so firmly over insanity’s edge. Pain and guilt caused Loren’s face to fall as he shared his suspicions. Somehow the people he was fighting against had found and used her as a way to strike out. They wanted to stop his investigation into their illegal pursuits and had found his one weakness—her. It had always been his fear, but he was positive she was protected enough and cursed himself for being such a naïve fool.
“Just looking at your mother, I knew whatever it was had been traumatizing. We made plans to watch over her, taking turns to coax her back from the darkness she was hiding in. Finally after two days, she stirred and opened her eyes. Her look of absolute terror still haunts me as she clutched at the bed sheets with tightly clenched fists. She was drenched with sweat, her hair matted around her face and it took Loren over an hour to calm her. He was patient with her, loving, and eventually she told us what happened.
Broken Promises (The Brianna Lane Series) Page 11